Love Potion Number Nine

“Who is this bastard,” Mandy said. She was sitting on his face, facing us, and kept punching Jerry’s chest as she rode him.

“Jerry,” I said, and pinched his leg.

“He’s our kid brother,” Carol added, and punched him in the gut.

“Do that again,” Janet squealed.

I felt it too. Jerry’s legs had come alive when Carol gut punched him, and it felt great. It only lasted for a few more punches, but Mandy and Carol kept on punching him.

“It’s not working any more,” Janet said.

“But it feels good,” Mandy said.

“Yeah,” Carol said.

I tried it, and so did Janet. It was the strangest thing. Punching him felt almost as good as rubbing on him. I think we all felt much better when we added punching, and slapping to the rubbing.

I was the first to get off him; whatever that crap was, it was gone. I hurt all over. My hands and wrists were throbbing, every breath felt like fire, but my pussy was the worst of all. It felt as if I’d ripped all the skin off, and I could barely move, it hurt so much.

Carol got off next, and sat on the floor trying to blow on her pussy.

“We have to kill him.” Janet said. She sounded dead serious, and kicked him to boot.

“Don’t,” I said, but my heart wasn’t really in it.

“Oww,” Mandy said after she got up. She was dancing from foot to foot all bowlegged going; “Ow, ow ow, ow ow.”

Jerry’s moans and efforts to move made us stop what we were doing, and four sets of hostile eyes turned to regard him. We drifted into a circle around him, and he curled into a tight little ball on the floor.

“What’ll we do?” Mandy said.

“I know what to do,” Janet said, and left.

“He’s got to pay for this,” Carol said.

I was about to add my two cents when I saw Janet coming back from the kitchen.

“No,” I screamed. She was holding a steak knife.

“No.”

“No,” the others chimed in.

“Let me at least pop that purple thing,” Janet said.

“Put the knife down,” Carol said.

“He’s getting away,” Janet said.

“We can’t catch him until you put that knife away,” I said.

She threw the knife into the fireplace, and we all had to giggle when she went after Jerry. A tree sloth could have caught Jerry the way he was dragging himself across the floor, but Janet pounced on him like a starving Cheetah.

“Please,” Jerry croaked, clawing the floor as Janet dragged him back.

“So what do we do with him now?” I said.

We had stuffed him head first into the firewood box, and Janet had been able to latch the far corner of the cover. The top was digging into his butt, and all he could do was wave his legs in the air.

“Let me out. I’m sorry, okay?”

“I say leave him like that and check back next winter,” Janet said.

“Come on guys, I think I have to go to the hospital. Let me out. Please?”

“We should untie that stocking,” Carol said.

“Yeah,” I said. It was digging into his flesh, and even his balls had turned a dark purple.

“I’ve got to put something on my pussy first. It stings so much, my eyes are starting to water.”

We all crowded around the medicine cabinet, quickly found five different things that made it worse, and two that made it horribly worse. In fact, the only thing that made things even marginally better was an old-fashioned wooden hairbrush. Janet used it to whack Jerry’s butt until his cheeks were cherry red.

“Take that sock off while you’re up there,” Carol said as she sat on the couch, fanning between her legs with a copy of Cosmo.

“Janet!” I yelled, rushing over when I heard Jerry screaming.

“Your brother is a crybaby,” Janet sulked as she stalked off.

Her idea of taking the stocking off was wrapping the loose end around her fist, bracing her foot on the wood box, and pulling with all her might.

“Hold still, stupid,” we had to tell him as we carefully cut the stocking off.

“I can make something to stop you pussies from hurting,” Jerry said from inside the wood box.

“I could cut your balls off so you’d know what it feels like,” Janet said.

“He probably could make something,” I said.

“Let me out. This is killing me. I’m getting splinters and there are spiders all over. What if there’s a black widow?”

“What a crybaby,” Janet said. “Oh, wait. I know where there’s a black widow. I could catch it in a glass.”

“Forget it, Janet,” I said. “We’re not going to kill him. What’s your problem?”

“That son-of-a-bitch got my cherry,” Janet said. “It isn’t fair.”

We all hugged her as she broke down. I know you guys won’t understand how a girl who’d had my sister’s fist inside her could still think she had a cherry to pop, but there’s more to being a virgin than a thin membrane. We all agreed that cutting off his offending appendages would be fair compensation, and from the clattering inside the wood box, Jerry must have thought we meant it literally.

We finally let Jerry out of the box, and he made a paste that worked so well that I came close to forgiving him. We were all nervous about Janet. She had gotten very quiet and deep in thought. We were afraid she was really planning to kill him.

Shows how wrong you can be.

There was a reason why Janet and her family were so rich. They were able to see opportunities where the rest of us wouldn’t think of them. She figured the whole thing out while we were all dabbing Jerry’s healing paste on our genitals.

The company’s called Earth-Mothers of Crestline Inc., so everybody will think we’re eco-nuts and leave us alone. We have a staff of over a hundred girls now, and we’ve been adjusting the attitudes of wayward men for over seven months.

Jerry’s new formula doesn’t cause headaches, and he’s come up with an amazing ‘Tough Skin’ jell that protects sensitive parts of the female anatomy without interfering with the pleasure of rubbing ourselves on whoever the lucky guy is.

Do you have a man who can’t keep his mind on his work because he’s always thinking of sex? Is your husband always chasing skirts and dreaming of having sex with a harem of girls? Maybe you’re a man and you know how your sexual obsessions are interfering with leading a productive life. Whatever your problem, we can help.

Psychotherapy takes years or even decades, yet we give better results in only eight to ten hours.

Simply click the little five hole below, and we’ll send five to ten of our highly motivated girls to you. They’ll fix everything in no time at all.