All Comments on 'Loving My Brother'

I hope your stories are going to be longer. I like the flow and the characters, but wish you would develop them more. Thanks for your time and imagination.

Well written. I could feel the love you had for him through your words. Keep it up!

Your story is well written and interesting. I would encourage you to attempt to gain more reader interest in the future by giving us a reason to care about the characters in your story. It is not impossible, but is difficult to create reader involvement when the story is only written in the first person point of view.

An additional suggestion in creating reader interest is to write about the main characters struggling to overcome a problem or obstacle. People generally like the "little engine that could" idea. Identifying with the character as they successfully overcome a problem is usually a sure fire way to pull the reader into a story.

Thanks for writing the story and please continue with your writing.

DOS

I read your bio.

Before you submit another story regarding you and your brother, I suggest that you start at the beginning.

This would give us the background necessary to put the future of your life together into perspective.

If you two were not yet eighteen when anything even remotely sexual too place, you're going to need to take literary liberties and write every story of the two of you with that timeline. If you don't, you'll have a struggle having your stories published.

Dialogue is the heart of the development of a relationship. Without it, there is nothing to hang the relationship on. One word of dialogue per story is going to keep you from telling much of a story.

Now try telling a story! Try reading it aloud to yourself and see if it makes sense to you or if you find something missing. This was a great outline of a story - try building a story around what you have.

If this was the store of "The Three Bears" your story is "a blond girl LOVES porridge - eats a bowl, licks it clean, and sees bear tracks when she leaves!

No story but the porridge gets eaten... Just sayin'

Don't listen to these retards it was great, simple but more powerful than a story with characters and whatnot. Real emotion and love and not just fetish

A penis is designed to enter the vagina, & only deviates stick it up a bum.

One of the best indicators of a good story on this site is how my cock responds. By the second paragraph I was getting hard; by the end my cock was like steel.

About half way down the page I was thinking "oh no, she's only written this one story." Please tell more. I'd love to know how you and your brother started being in bed together. When and how he started licking your cunt. When you fell in love with him. What it was like when he first made you cum. And much, much more.

Thanks for this vignette telling about how you started to suck his cock and how he began anal play.

Well...it was OKAY I guess...short and (not) sweet. Surely can do better.

To all commenters. There is no way to publish any lead up, and I can't "make up" a story that would explain the "build-up" which you seem to ask for. This was a 50 year relationship, so you can do the math in your head.

I wish there was someone to talk to. Our mother knew.