All Comments on 'Loving Neighbor'

Lots of promise in the story, but every sentence a new paragraph? Kills the flow

I don't think I have ever read an entire story made up of one sentence paragraphs. Consult an editor.

The bad grammar and atrocious spelling distract from your HOT sex story. Keep trying, though.

"There son, Jason, was sitting in his own living room.

I smiled and moved my hand to my crouch as I thought about him.

My hand found it's way to my wet opening and rubbed my clit."

there should be their, crouch should be crotch, it's should be its

With three errors in three lines I could go no further.

You may be lusty but you are certainly no writer!

@Prfsr - don't forget "I imaged Jason face in between my legs." which, presumably, should have been

'I imagined Jason's face ...'!

Otherwise, I totally agree. Definitely NOT a writer.

Needs a good Editor urgently.

Is that anything like "their son" ?

U kneed:

1) Spill check and a clue howe to uze it

2) Editur

3) struckture

So how does this qualify as 'romance'?

It's a pretty serious abuse of the English language and I'm not exactly sure how this sort of story gets approved? Is there a sentence here which doesn't have a mistake in it?

Sorry Lustywritergurl - wrong category, wrong language, wrong...everything. Please find an editor and post in the right category.

and here I am your # 6 commentor. Your writing is not anywhere ready for publication. You need to take english 101 and learn how to put a sentence together with correctly spelled words. You have the desire so maybe you just need to collobrate with other writers, carefully read really good stories and by all means get someone with an education to proof your written material. Oh, and yes put your stories in the correct category.

The way it is written leaves more than just a lot to be desired.

This is perhaps the funniest story I have ever read. Your english is atrocious. Please tell me it is a joke.

Screw the english majors, it was fun, yeah it could use some work but it probably is way better than anything these assholes have ever submitted.

Thanks for writing, and for taking the time to put yourself out there for criticism.

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