Maddy's Midlife Crisis

Author's Note:

This is the story of a woman re-examining her life as she is about to turn 40 years old.

Fair warning, this story is more about the woman's self-discovery with a dash of exhibitionism (i.e. it's not filled with over the top sex), so if you're looking for something quick and dirty, this may not be for you. All others, I hope you enjoy.

******

"Damnit, is that a grey hair?" I asked in exasperation.

My husband looked on in bemusement from the bed while I sat in front of the mirror with a single strand of grey separated out from my shoulder length brown hair.

"I really am getting old," I sighed.

"Maddy, you worry too much. You're gorgeous."

Rick, my husband, meant well, but his words fell on deaf ears. I'd been dreading my upcoming 40^th birthday, and this certainly wasn't helping. Maybe I'm just more sensitive to the signs of my aging, but lately my joints started feeling creakier, I'm getting forgetful, and I just feel tired all the time. I see the new hires at work brought in straight out of college, and it's like they're talking a foreign language. I'm practically old enough to be a mother to many of them.

"God, is that another wrinkle?" I said in exasperation.

"They're called laugh lines, Maddy," Rick countered.

"Do you see me laughing?" I complained as I continued staring into the mirror.

Rick insists it's all in my head, which makes sense on some level. I'm 5'6" and about 135 pounds. Many of my friends say they're jealous of my figure. I have larger C cup breasts, although those sometimes feel as much a blessing as a curse. I don't mind the attention they've brought me over the years, although my back's felt more pain lately, likely as a result my melons put on my spine.

That said, physically, I'm not vastly different from how I looked a year or two ago, but I can't help but feel like I'm on the decline. I realize I'm about the same age as my mom was when I was a kid, and maybe that's what scared me as much as anything. All my life, I'd felt youthful with so much of life in front of me. Staring at 40 meant realistically reaching the midway. And what had I accomplished to this point? College. Got married. Had a kid. Divorced. And now married again. Don't get me wrong. I can count my blessings, but nothing stands out. What mark have I left on the world? What mark has the world left on me? Before I thought I had all the time in the world to fill my life with excitement and accomplishment. To make important scientific discoveries. To travel the globe. To go sky diving. To scuba dive. To go mountain climbing.

Instead, I've got a big weekend of laundry and a trip to Costco in the works. If the rain holds off, maybe I'll also pull some weeds. It's not exactly a life of glamor. I tell myself I should be grateful for what I have, but the words ring hollow, and I'm left longing for more.

Rick is a good husband. We're the same age and have been married for 3 years now. He's 6 foot and in decent shape since he runs regularly. He doesn't seem worried about turning 40, although he's got another 3 months before he starts his next decade, and, besides, men somehow grow ruggedly handsome as they get older, whereas, us women just start shriveling up like a prune.

I remember when I was younger, I used to get a lot of attention from men. Some of it was flattering, and some of it was outright creepy, but my beauty always seemed to draw attention. The older I get, the less attention my beauty draw with each passing year. It's gotten to the point now where I often feel invisible, and I see eyes looking right past me to the younger beauties in a room.

I felt my husband's arms wrap around me from behind and he lifted me off the ground and kissed me on the side of my neck.

"Is it ok if I go fishing with the guys next weekend?" Rick asked.

"Aha! An ulterior motive. I knew you weren't actually concerned about my well-being," I said, pushing him away.

"To the contrary. I'm more than happy to prove my attraction to you right this very moment," he insisted.

"Not so fast, Rick. I forgot, but Tess invited us to go out next weekend. I already told her we'd go," I told him.

Tess was an old college friend. We hadn't seen each other in ages, but we recently reconnected on social media, and she invited us on a boat ride.

"Who is Tess? I don't remember her," Rick asked.

"Oh, you've never met her, but we were good friends back in college. "

"Is Tess hot?"

"And why exactly is that a concern?" I glared back at him. "I thought you're a married man."

"I am, but my wife is accusing me of ulterior motives, so she's not putting out. So, you know, I'm just trying to know what my options are," he said with a silly grin.

"How about we make a deal, then? So Tess is taking us out on a boat. You can probably go fishing anyway. Now would you rather go fishing with me or with your boys?"

"Do you want an honest answer?" he asked as he looked at me incredulously.

"Fine. You skip your weekend fishing with your boys, and you go with me to Tess' outing, and I'll make it up to you," I promised him.

My husband's interest was piqued. "How and when?" he demanded to know.

"How about right now?" I said with a wink as I knelt down and unbuckled his jeans.

"Good, I always wanted a blow job from an old white-haired lady."

"Listen, you can either stop joking around and let me suck you off, or you can crack your jokes and not get a blow job. Either way, you're going to Tess' outing with me."

Rick proceeded to mime zipping his lips closed, and I proceeded to take him into my mouth and reward him for his obedience. He's such a predictable lout. I can dangle sex in front of him, and pretty much get my way anytime I want. Anyway, he was already hard, and he didn't last very long. It was only a few minutes of me expertly running my lips and tongue over his cock, and he was ready to explode. It's one of the benefits of marriage. I know exactly what gets him off. How he likes to have his balls played with. How he likes it when I blow my warm breath over his cock. I can feel the blood pulsing through his cock every time I do so. The next thing I knew, his body tightened, and he shot his load into the back of my throat, and I took in the warm jets of his cum and swallowed it down clean.

"There, it's settled," I commented as I wiped the excess cum off my lips. "You're hanging out with me and Tess this weekend."

*****

Later that week, I called my sister, Leigh, on the phone just to catch up on things.

"By the way, you'll never believe who I reconnected with recently?" I asked her.

"Who?" she responded.

"Tess!"

"Oh my god, that's cool!" she exclaimed. "You guys haven't seen each other in ages."

Leigh is a year younger than me, but we ran in the same circles back in our days at Oregon State University.

"She invited Rick and myself to an outing next weekend," I told her.

"What kind of outing?" Leigh wanted to know.

"Tess told me she's got a boat, and she and her husband like to take it out off the Pacific shore," I answered.

There was a pause on the line.

"Hello, you still there, sis?" I inquired.

"Yeah, um, did Tess say anything about what to expect on the boat?"

"Not really," I responded, curious at my sister's question. "I mean, it's a boat. I think she said we'd be going out of Coos Bay. I figured we'd cruise up and down the coast a little and see the scenery. I remember back in college; she was kind of wild. She was never into drugs or anything illegal like that, though. I assumed there'd be alcohol. I mean, she said it was adults only. Said something about how we all work hard, so we have to play hard, also. Why do you ask?"

There was another long pause on the phone before my sister spoke again.

"So, it's been a few years, but I've been on a few boat outings with Tess and her husband. They're fun. I'm just not sure if it's your type of thing."

"How so?" I asked.

"They get out far enough from anyone's sight and kind of relax. I mean, I used to have fun. It's just that Tess and the other women, they're not shy, so they'll often wear thongs or G string bikinis out there. Sometimes they'll drop their tops so they can soak in the sun or go skinny dipping a little bit. "

"Oh, I see," a certain amount of disappointment in my voice. "Do you think I'd stand out if I show up in my standard one-piece."

Leigh laughed. "Yeah, I'd say the only time any of the other women on the boat are in a one-piece swimsuit are when they're topless."

"Oh," I said slowly, processing what that all meant for my weekend prospects. "I see what you mean."

"I mean, don't get me wrong," Leigh continued. "It's all harmless fun. There's no sex or anything like that. The women just like to lose a little clothing when they get far enough out on the water. Then the beer and wine flow freely and everyone just kind of has a good time. They're really all a good group, and I always had fun on their boat."

"Wait, so you're wearing a thong bikini when you've gone with them?" I asked, unaware that my little sister ever dressed like that.

"Well - I didn't wear a thong," she confessed.

"A G-string?" I gasped in shock.

"Maybe," Leigh conceded.

"Ooh, my little sister has a spicy side," I teased her.

I heard Leigh take a deep breath on the other end of the line. "I mean, don't take it the wrong way, but you're a mom and all. I don't think you've attended anything like that since college."

"I might have a wild streak," I answered defensively. "But you're probably right, sis," I admitted.

We ended the call shortly after, but my sister's information about the boat outing kept running through my mind. I put aside the fact that Leigh had evidently attended at least a few of these outings and focused on what she said these boat rides were like. I wondered if maybe Leigh was just joking about the whole thing or exaggerating what they were like. Leigh was sometimes prone to playing pranks, and I imagined how embarrassing it would be if I showed up dressed in a thong while all the other women were dressed more conservatively. I could only imagine the evil glares they'd shoot my way, especially with their husbands on board. Still, something told me that Leigh wasn't pulling my leg.

I decided I should give Tess a ring and try to confirm everything. I called her, and the phone rang and rang. I was almost about to hang up when she picked up.

"Hi Tess, yeah, it's Maddy," I started off the conversation.

"Maddy, it's great to hear from you. I'm really looking forward to hanging out this weekend."

"Tess, I'm really excited about it, too," I answered, sharing in her sentiment. "I just had some questions, though. Do I need to bring anything, any food or drinks or anything? What kind of boat do you have?"

"I'm glad you asked, actually. So, we've got a pretty nice small yacht. It's actually got two levels and plenty of seating. We just go out on the water for the afternoon, open up some beer and wine and hang out and have fun. Bring your bikini. We can catch some rays. Everybody always has a lot of fun. There's going to be three other couples aside from you and your husband, including myself and Alex."

"Oh, that sounds fun," I replied.

"Yeah, it is. Your husband is coming, right? It'll be great. You haven't met Alex yet, and what's your husband's name?" Tess asked.

"Rick."

"Yeah, we definitely need to catch up," Tess continued. "I'm sure they'll get along great. There's one thing, though, Maddy. I mentioned it's an adults-only party, right? I just don't want you to be surprised in case you turned into a prude or something after college. I mean, it's nothing crazy, but some of our bikinis are kind of revealing, and some of us like to sunbathe topless, so it's not kid-friendly."

So, I guess my sister was right, after all. "Yeah, Leigh was telling me about that a little. I guess she's been on a few of your outings before."

"Yeah, I love Leigh, she's a hoot. Too bad she said she can't make it this weekend," Tess told me.

"It's alright. Hey, I'll see you Saturday," I said.

"Great, we're looking forward to it."

******

"Do I really have to go to your friend's thing? Is this like a Tupperware party or something?" Rick complained.

"You promised you'd go," I reminded him.

Rick sighed, "I know. And I know I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't go, so I'm all yours."

"You don't have to sound so excited about it," I complained.

"At least tell me I don't have to dress up for it," Rick pleaded.

"We're going on a boat. Why would you dress up, dummy?" I yelled at him. "Maybe you can even go fishing from their boat."

"Just please tell me there's at least alcohol involved." he begged.

"There is," I assured him.

"Alright. Then I'm in."

I couldn't help but laugh and shook my head in disbelief.

"Can you act seriously for a minute?" I asked him.

Rick calmed down and looked at me with a look of mock concern.

"So, I was talking to Tess. I just want to make sure you're okay with going?" I asked him.

"Why wouldn't I be? Are they devil worshippers?" Rick responded

"No, it's nothing like that. It's like a party boat. They drink. The women, they usually wear pretty skimpy bikinis. Like thongs and G-strings," I explained.

Now Rick's suspicious stare turned skeptical. " And you're thinking of going there? I've never seen you in anything but a one-piece."

"I know," I replied, as I took a deep breath.

"Maddy, you've got a banging body. I should know. I've banged it many times." I glared at him as he continued. "Look, I know you'd look phenomenal, but you've always been a little insecure in that regard about your body. You get nervous if the light's on while we make love. God as my witness, you've got nothing to be insecure about."

"I know it's silly, right?" I replied as I bit my lip.

"But you're seriously considering it," he said, almost doubtfully.

"I don't know," I conceded.

"I love you, Maddy, but this just doesn't seem like you. It doesn't seem like us."

"I know, but I've been thinking. I don't know. Are you in any way curious?" I asked as I raised my head and looked my husband in the eye.

"I can tell, you're really tempted to go," he said with a sigh.

I took a deep breath. "Look, I turn 40 soon, and I don't know, but I keep thinking, there's so much I haven't tried. I'm already starting to feel old, but I don't want to be 80 years old and wishing I tried a whole bunch of things, but it's too late by then." I almost felt tears welling in my eyes.

"And this party will bring meaning to your life?" Rick scoffed.

"No, of course not," I said, finally ready to unload all the thoughts running through my head. "But don't you feel we've been in a rut. We have our routines. Works, kids, groceries, sleep, rinse, and repeat. We take our annual vacation to Disney but when was the last time we did something unexpected? We did something different. It seems silly, doesn't it? As if I'm reliving my college youth. Pathetic, huh? But what about you? I mean, I wouldn't do this without you?"

"I don't know. Are you sure you're ok with this? I ain't going to lie. I'm a guy, and I'm ok to see other nearly naked women. I just don't want you getting jealous if I'm taking in an eyeful. Are you sure you'd be okay with that?" he shot back at me.

"Are you sure you'd be okay with other men checking me out?" I countered.

"Touché. They can look, but they'd better not touch," he said with a cheeky grin.

"Same goes for you," I told him.

"Deal. Hey, for real, though. Are you sure about this? I can tell you're kind of nervous. If you want us to go, I'm right there with you. If you change your mind, then... well, I'm going fishing with my boys."

"I thought you got a blow job to not go fishing," I objected.

"Hell no, that was to hang out with your friend. If you don't go, then I have no obligation."

"Till death do us part, huh?" I mockingly replied.

"I'd think of you with every fish I reel in," he said cheekily.

"Are you saying I look like a catfish?" I complained.

"I'm not the one who said it."

I threw a pillow at Rick, and he ran out of the room. A few seconds later, I heard him playing with the kids in the living room, and I was left alone with my thoughts, trying to figure out if I could really go through with going on a risqué boat ride with Tess.

******

You know how your mind keeps replaying a scenario in your head. You already know the outcome, yet you agonize over it, anyway. Should I go boating with Tess or not? There were a million reasons I shouldn't go. I'm a mom now, and Tess' boat ride entailed doing some things that were a million miles away from the person I am today.

Maybe it was the footsteps of my 40^th birthday nagging in my head. Was it a midlife crisis? Maybe I just longed for the wild and carefree attitude of my youth. Then again, even back in college, I'm not certain I would've gone through with this. Yet, that seemed to be exactly why I was deciding to do so. Because we've only got so many trips around the sun, and there's some things, well, if I'm going to do them, I might as well do them before I'm completely old and decrepit.

"Maddy, did you ever make up your mind? Am I going fishing this weekend?" Rick asked me a few days later.

I decided I'd mulled the decision long enough. Besides, I'd been dancing around the issue, but I knew the whole time where my final decision would land.

"Do you want to watch me model some bikinis?" I shot back at him.

******

We came home a few hours later with a G string bikini. I actually had more fun than I imagined as I modelled the various bikinis for Rick. I was careful to stay out of eyesight of the rest of the shoppers, but Rick sat in a little dressing room waiting area while I tried on a variety of thong and G string microkinis and stepped out to show Rick each one as I kept just out of eyesight of the rest of the shoppers.

It was both embarrassing and exhilarating at the same time. When I tried on the first bikini, I looked at my reflection in the mirror with dismay. My tits are still fairly firm, but they jiggle a bit, and I can see sag where once there was none. I try to keep in shape, but I don't have a perfect body, and my belly is closer to round than flat. I turned around, and my ass was hanging out of the bottom. That is just who I was, though.... or at least who the almost 40-year-old version of me was. Well, this won't leave much in the way of tan lines, I thought. It was all definitely a far cry from the one-piece bathing suits I was accustomed to.

At first, I felt silly as I stepped out of the changing stall wearing so little in a public place, but Rick whistled at the sight of me, and it lifted my spirits. I'm just glad no one else was around to see except for my husband. I'm still not sure how I'd conjure up the courage to openly wear such a revealing outfit in front of other people.

All of the outfits I tried on left very little of me to the imagination. In the end, the color blue seemed to suit me best, and I ended up debating between buying a thong or a G-string. In the end, I opted for the G-string because I figured if I was going to step out of my comfort zone, I might as well go all the way.

I knew that Rick liked the bikini. "Hey, uh, what do you say maybe you try on the new bikini when we get home again?" Rick asked nonchalantly as we drove home.

"Oh yeah?" I replied.

"Yeah, you know. I just want to check it again to make sure it fits right. Sometimes, you know, the store lighting and everything, it can make things look different."

I still wasn't sure if I could really go through with the boating outing, but I was already liking some of the side benefits from wearing the bikini, even if I never wore it in front of anyone but Rick.