All Comments on 'Magic Mountain'

A very good fantasy....But it let me think what he would have done if instead a Chloe his wife showed with a Kurt...

I don't really know because I didn't read any of the others. But I was glad to read yours. At times, it seemed forced, but you definately captured the intensity of these two lovers reconnecting after such a long separation. The bi-sex young wife being desireable to hubby is OK, but was this ever a shock to him? Did he know about this before? Was this a new development since her time away "in the desert"? If so, then she IS a cheater after-all. You also make it seem like Ryan probably had opportunity to stray as well while she was gone. So WAS this already a predefined open-marriage? After this experience, it seems likely to STAY that way. If your intention was to convey that 'what happens on magic mountain STAYS on magic mountain', then you missed the opportunity. The passion these two felt for each other seemed at odds with the open marriage concept, like you wanted them to have both. Possible, I guess, but more believable beyond being just a fantasy.....only with lots more background and character development first. As a merely a quick flash story it works, but while you wanted to comment on these two being married, we are never afforded the knowledge of what these two would/will REALLY be like together (even in the short-term when NOT on holiday). As such, reluctantly I must point out, this probably should have been put in Erotic Couplings or Group Sex. When you are ready to tell us MORE about the marriage instead of just two of the sexual experiences they had, then return to LW.

Either way, thanks for stopping by, and contributing. Keep at it, and Good Luck!

In real life marriage is over before it began, should have been in group sex.

I like the plot and the characters, but the story reads more like a detailed synopsis or a journalist's report. I think it would be much better (and hotter) if you developed the characters further, maybe through dialog, and also if you provided a little insight into their thoughts and/or emotions.

Erin was truly a LW to be willing to share her new groom. 5 *'s

Ridiculous plot and story.