Mando Bk. 03: General Badass Ch. 04

"What? Another promotion?"    

I give a smug, proud reply. "Yep. Bigger and more important too."    

"Bigger than VP or General?"    

"Yep. Mrs. Danny Marino. AKA, General Danny Marino. AKA Vice President Danny Marino."    

His delight rattles the airwaves. "YES! Now that's a title I can live with forever!"    

My voice drops to a hush. "Gino these past few days have taken their toll on me. I need you to bed me. Besides, Kammy left this morning for boating and nautical navigation training, so we have the evening and next two months to ourselves."

I tap the red icon on my cell phone and bite my lower lip. Am I moving too fast? Will this turn him off? Turn his stomach in disgust, perhaps?"    

After an hour of pondering, marveling, and considering the past nine months' events and their implications, I think about the bounty on my head from the school rescue. A million a week for six months is a twenty-six million dollars reward for me alone. Now each member of our team is worth twenty-five million each and climbing.

Then, unbidden, the image of the two kindergarten children shot at the school floats before my eyes. I'm unprepared for this. The floodgates open and I'm an emotional wreck in less time than it takes for a dog to bark at a cat or a cat to bristle at a bath.

I bury my head in my hands. "I'm so sorry I lost you, guys. I'm oh so sorry." I am inconsolable. "I know all about getting shot. It's no fun. I hope your death was instant." That does it. I'm a vegetable; a weeping, moaning vegetable wallowing in self-pity and unrelenting remorse. Kammy is not here to redirect my depression. Will I ever get over this guilt? The feeling of ultimate failure? Of impotence? The fear of losing more people next time? Will I? Am I losing my nerve?"

The rescues in Morocco and Italy come to mind. No, I had my nerve then. I wipe my eyes. Then what?

END CHAPTER FOUR