All Comments on 'Mandy's Letter'

So she gets a death sentence, cheats on him, he checks out and moves on with his life and she kills him for it?

Damn, that's some way to go out. Gotta feel for Mandy, even if she did waste a teenager.

Very difficult to read or make any sense of for most of the story. Got it at the end. Sorry but didn't like the way this was written.

Wow

What was that?

?

The writer was on crack. Could not follow this story, gave up.

Well written.

This is disturbing.

I also do not think this is a Loving Wives story.

Depressing. Once I figured out what was happening, once all pretext fell away, the thought that we all die alone invaded my thinking. The vision of a wounded animal, crawling off to die beneath some rotten log, came to mind.

The stream of consciousness style made it too hard to follow.

I can say this piece was different from any LW stories out there.

For that I give this one high rating just for the effort of trying something unique.

But I had difficulty understanding the background of the story although the author, I think, have put some info about it -- but it is strewn in bits across the whole story.

/

But after scouring through all the ramblings and in-between rants of a dying wife due to cancer,

I seem to get that all those rants was because she is mad at her husband for not indulging her entitlement of giving permission to slut around with other men. She thinks she deserve this entitlement because she is dying due to cancer. Her husband refused (so it seemed) -- but she did it anyways and she is madder that the husband decided, instead of supporting her wish, went off leaving her for a younger woman.

/

I do think her husband is an asshole for leaving the wife in such a dire situation. But it is probably due that the husband had had enough of the wife forcing the issue to permit her to have sex with other men. He probably couldn't take the pressure and just left her, in essence giving her freedom to do what she wished but without his support.

Oh, this is a continuation of my thoughts.

I think in the end the wife shot the husband and his girlfriend dead.

What a despicable end -- not for the husband and his girlfriend.

But for the wife because she for being selfish had driven the husband away.

Now she's surely going to pay for that -- in hell.

what a mind numberly awful unreadable boring Shitty story.

Does anybody have any idea what is going on in this story because I am but I'm a unable to follow it?

This is a very good story indeed. It cuts to the chase and doesn't waste any time on inconsequential shit. It gets to the pint straight away! Thanks for sharing 4-Stars!

WTF was that mess?

Dark, difficult read, unsure final outcome. LOVE. slap*hapy*papy. #9

That was a very dark story. You just shouldn’t betray someone who has nothing left to lose.

Why does this category get all the garbage writers? 1*

I tried to enjoy it, but it was like reading the aftermath of taking a printed page, tearing it up into pieces, then chopping them up in a blender with some beer, then pouring it out on a table to dry. Pure gibberish.

That was a hell of a ride with a great and totally unexpected ending. Loved it.

Very dark, well crafted short piece — found it easy to follow Mandy’s misery and saw no need to share details on death of husband and woman he was with. Captured that perfectly. Aside: interesting, probably not surprising, yet unfortunate how shallow/inane the comments from anonymous readers. Although such sadly dark tales are not my preference, I will read your next effort.

Keep writing, no one starts on top. You do have talent and desire.

Very good dark read. Took a while to put it together.

Sorry but story should engage readers into reading start to finishes & not force them to skip over.

Your paragraphs don't make sense nor they connect to each other.

Hello, everyone. Thanks for all the comments. I’ve been on Literotica for a long time under a different name but wanted to start exploring my own characters and darker themes. I fully expected to get shredded in this category, but I’m really excited about some of these comments.

I love the idea of fast paced, limited perspective stories. I’m a WIP with my writing but I’ll address some uncertainties related to the story.

Mac Lapu, I tried to convey the point that Mandy had been cheated on numerous times before and she shrugged off all advances, even Brandon, even though she had no reason to stay faithful beyond her own mental blocks. Some were mentioned in the story. I should have made that more clear for the reader.

The screaming, the madness, sadness and bitchiness towards Brandon was because she had murdered them just hours before she went to the cafe and couldn’t deal with what she had done but knew she had to run.

I felt it was chilling that she went back for her things with them dead in their bedroom. Still do.

As far as category placement, some might not like it, but that’s not for me to decide. Don’t care about stars, only engagement. Thanks again.

So she wanted to be a skank, he didnt, then she gets pissed because he gives up on her (cant blame him for that) she fucks around too and then feels he's the bad one?

Did I get that right? Because if i did, and its hard to tell as this was a mess, then this story fell really flat. Even if Im wrong, it still achieved the same award, in the end.

Its great that you tried something different, but it should be less rambling and a bit more concise and clear.

An interesting experiment. Probably too nuanced and subtle for the LW readership, and way to violent for the panty waist SNAG's. I do appreciate the effort, and hope you will try some more.

This is totally incoherent!

When you write dialogue, you need to attribute it often enough so so the reader can follow. Except for Amanda and her friend in the beginning, the rest of the characters were shapeless wraiths that eluded me. I know there's a good story in here, but it was difficult to follow. The remembrances, the reflections were difficult to understand. For the first half of the first half of the story, I thought she was sick and spitting blood. The chemo reference? 'Is she missing her chemo?' I wondered. I assume the parentheticals were her thoughts? I was confused at first and wondered if there was an alter-ego other illustrative device.

.

I would suggest an editor, because I think you've got great stories to tell. It's just that the reader needs to hear, see and feel them the way you do. I never caught up with this one, and I regret that. 3/5.

Gave it a 2. There might be a decent-ish story in there but how its edited makes it hard to tell. Also murdering the husband's lover, a described young girl, seems pretty effed up.

...oh so good. So very very good.

It’s a bit of a tough read, but makes sense... if you can get to the end.

5-stars & Favorite

That was very heavy fare and it really irritates me that I find such a story here. I still liked it a lot!

Interesting read. A bit chaotic, but I think that’s were her mind was, still it made it hard to follow at times. Gave it a 4, hope you’ll continue writing.

I’ll never stop Regguy! Thanks for reading.

Etchiboy, thank you. Glad you enjoyed.

Messy, partially incoherent, and dark. Overall, not a particularly good story, though it probably had some potential.

The end though ...

Certainly was a dark space story.

incoherent

Dark.

So, I read this story twice. From what I gathered from her letter and piecing together the bits from the story, Mandy struggled with being monogamous, and then when she got news of her cancer, and her life ending, she thought she could finally just let go and go be a slut.

She tells her husband, hoping he'll go along since she's dying, not thinking of how this would affect him after 20 years of marriage, and then she gets upset when he doesn't want to touch her. She basically just destroyed that man.

The husband takes up with a much younger woman - which is understandable since his wife wanted to slut around, he probably figured it was ok for him as well. Put some of the hurt on Mandy for what she did. It wasn't right, but the man had been destroyed by his wife's admission that she wanted to be a slut, his mind wasn't in the right place - it very rarely is when you find out your married life has been a lie and destroyed.

So, Mandy, instead of realizing how much she hurt her husband through her actions kills him and his lover, and then leaves town to either kill herself or die in isolation.

She doesn't learn her lesson on being selfish. She just doubles down until the very end. And her husband paid the price for her selfishness.

Definitely a dark story, with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. A reader should not have to read a story twice just to figure out what the hell happened, or even what the story was about. Sure, a re-read to maybe glean some things that were missed the first time, or to enjoy the writing of the author again, but to have to re-read just to barely understand the story is not the mark of a good writer.

@dcvngtn3 Joyce mentions in the beginning scene that Mandy can’t keep doing this(going back). Meaning, the husband has already cheated before.

Other than that, I’ll leave the interpretation up to you.

Thank you for reading it twice. That was nice.

More repressed sexuality creeping out in another shitty writers wet dream.

No story just prattling on about nothing.