Marion's Story Ch. 08

The others all hi fived her and I sighed giving a weak nod of my head. "Thanks guys I suppose at least now I can stop masquerading and just be Marion again. No more dress up."

"Oh no, no, no, that's not right." Mel blurted out. She glared around the room. "I want to do this and to hell with the nay Sayers but it has to be Mi who stands tall. Unless you front up as Mi then we're fucked. Our fans might accept Mi but they won't accept anything else."

When she saw I was unconvinced she just charged on, "Don't you see, if it's Mi then people will understand that's who you are, but if you get on stage as Marion then they will think we just did it to trick them."

I could see the others all nodding in agreement.

Molly got more beers and passed them around. "I think you're right... I think they will accept Mi, all that matters is whether you're prepared to do it."

"I don't know what to do, I need time to think it over, if you could all just give me some space to weigh it all up."

There was lots of head nodding and agreement. We drank the rest of the booze and it was a late night. As Moll's and I laid in bed snuggled together she whispered breathlessly. "Babes only days ago you said regardless of what happened you wanted to be Mi, what's changed?"

"Well everybody knows I am just a guy in a dress."

"Big deal... Who cares, it will not change a thing, your fans are your fans they will love you regardless. I say stand tall, say yeah, this is me... deal with it."

Her fingers twisted my nipple playfully. "Do you still want to be involved making music?"

I nodded. "Yes of course, I love performing, being on stage listening to them singing our songs with us, I love that."

"Then you have no alternative, you have to stand up as Mi and say suck it up bitches, this is me..."

Molly may have slept but not me, I tossed and turned staring into the darkness as I tried to figure out what to do."

The morning dawned bright and my puffy eyes struggled with the light streaming in through the window. Molls woke to find me playing with her hair, she smiled through a big yawn. "Have you slept yet?"

Shaking my head, I mumbled. "No, I couldn't."

"What you spent the whole night designing me a new hair style?"

"No, but I have spent the whole night admiring your beauty, you have to know that I love you so much."

She giggled. "That's hardly a secret, Jesus you told the whole crowd at the Bottleneck."

"I know but I need to keep saying it, I want the world to know."

Continuing her girly giggle she whispered. "So is the world going to see me with Mi or Marion."

It was jump or climb down time... "No more hiding, no more bullshit Moll's I want to know who you want to be with."

"No way, no god damned way are you dumping this up on my doorstep. Listen I love you and I love Mi, I don't separate them you will always be Mi to me. But I can't tell the future, if we break up, I don't want you blaming me because you changed for me. I want you to decide who you want to be and I will tell the world you are my girlfriend or my boyfriend, but it has to be your choice."

Laying my head back on the pillow I sighed deeply. Moll's whispered. "When are you happiest? Marion or Mi?"

"Mi, I am Mi that's when I am comfortable... I love Mi."

"Then that's settled. The girls are behind you, I'm behind you we just have to ride it out, the first gig might be tough but after that it will get easier. Think about it this way, you are making a statement for all the guys and girls in the country who feel like you do, you could be a role model. Stand up and be proud of who you are."

"But what about mom, she is going to be ridiculed."

"What say we tell her up front, then let her decide, I bet she says she doesn't care as long as you're happy."

"I don't want to have that conversation over the phone."

"Then let's drive over and see her, let's do it now, today, right now." She jumped out of bed and headed straight for the shower. "Call her, tell her we're on our way, hurry up, times wasting."

Mom looked stressed when we pulled up outside home, and rather than the beaming smile she looked tense. She opened her arms wide as I walked up and the intensity of her hug showed how she was feeling. "Marion sweetheart its, wonderful to see you."

"You to mom, how are you?"

"Embarrassed, ashamed and sorry. Honey I am sorry I didn't ask before I yelled at you."

Giving her a big kiss, I mumbled. "Mom it's OK, its fine."

"No its not, I feel terrible, I just don't understand what has come over April." As she let me go she opened her arms to Molly and they hugged. "Sweetie I need to apologise to you as well. I said some mean things."

Moll's smiled kissing her cheek. "It's OK I earned every single curse, not for this but for letting April get between me and MI in the first place. What I did was horrible, I'm the one begging forgiveness, if I had stayed true to my heart none of this would have happened."

Mom hugged her tight. "The Lord works in mysterious ways, we don't always understand them but everything happens for a reason."

Mom led us inside never letting Molly's hand go. "Well, why did you two drive all this way, it wasn't just to hear me say sorry."

Moll's glanced at me as mom started working on dinner. I muttered. "Mom I wanted to talk to you, I don't know if you know what happened?"

Mom stopped me. "Yes I know, Sandy called me in tears to explain... I just don't understand you two were always so close."

"Yeah I don't know either mom, it's like she is on a mission to destroy my life, but it has left me in a tough spot."

She nodded. "I can understand sweetie, you know you have my support."

"Do I mom? What I wanted to talk to you about my future."

Seeing the look of confusion on her face I blurted out. "Mom I want to live as Mimi permanently, but I am worried about embarrassing you."

"Marion... sorry Mimi I don't care what people say, my friends will understand."

"But mom what about the church, what will the minister say?"

She hugged me tight. "Sweetheart all I have ever wanted is for you to be happy. My friends will understand, those that don't ... Well perhaps they shouldn't be friends."

"But won't you be embarrassed?"

She glared at me. "Are you embarrassed?"

Ashamed I stared at the floor. "Yes, I feel so confused mom, I love being Mi, but I am scared."

Mom gazed across at Moll's who had been sitting watching the whole thing. "Molly sweetie, are you embarrassed?"

Moll's shook her head. "I have tried to tell him, I love Mi, I love Marion, I don't see them differently. I want him to be happy as well. I wish he would commit to Mi and see what happens."

Mom nodded. "Marion the only one embarrassed here is you. It is you who needs to find acceptance."

She was right, I knew it, I needed to find a way to make sense of it all. Mom returned to getting dinner and Moll's joined her. I went out to the tree house to think.

When mom called me down to dinner her and Moll's were talking and laughing. As we ate mom asked. "Am I to assume that you will be sharing a bed tonight?"

Moll's and I both choked on our bread. "Um yeah if that's OK mom?"

She nodded. "I hope you're using protection, don't get me wrong I want more grandchildren but I want them to live in a steady home, I don't care whether it's with two mommies, but I want them to grow up in a loving caring home, not raised by a single parent."

Molly smiled. "I am on the pill Mr's B I have been ever since Marion and I got back together. Just so you know I love Marion and I am sorry I hurt him, he didn't deserve it."

"Well while we are on the subject then, are you planning a family?"

I choked again. "Mom! We are still trying to figure out if we can live together."

Mom confused as ever asked. "But Molly you said you love Marion..."

"I do, I love him dearly but I am as confused as he is. When Marion and I met I was trying to prove to the world that I wasn't a lesbian, but then April came along and I got confused again, I thought I was in love with her so now I am scared, all I know is I don't want to hurt Marion again."

Mom shook her head in bewilderment. "Love is love, I think the pair of you are too worried about what other people think and this rubbish about who you are. I think you should concentrate on enjoying the moment."

Molly jumped up and ran around the table and wrapped her arms around mom and the tears rolled down her cheeks as she sobbed. "Thank you."

"Molly my dear I can see you love Marion. I sense it. Be happy sweetie, life is too short. I realised that when my husband was taken from us, I loved that man and every day I miss him."

It was my turn to hug her, try and hug away her pain.

The rest of dinner went quietly with Molly listening to mom tell stories about me from when I was growing up. Moll's laughed her head off at some and shook her head at others.

After dinner we all sat around and mom made me go and get my guitar and sing some songs. She asked about my song writing and I played some that I had been working on, the ones that I had played Jas and Mel, but they didn't like.

"Marion... Those songs are beautiful, so deep."

Molly cried out. "Holy shit Mi... Where have those songs been hiding, they're incredible, why haven't you been playing them?"

"I played them to Mel and Jas and they didn't like them, so I have been working on them myself, maybe a solo album."

Squeezing my hand, she smiled. "We have to do something with them."

The next couple of days slid by, I helped mom around the house, Molly cleaned the windows, I mowed lawns. Bev and the family came around for dinner and Moll's loved playing with the kids, it was a side of her I never knew, and seeing her bouncing the new-born baby on her knee was pretty sweet.

Sunday morning and mom was up early, Moll's and I arrived at the breakfast table with the food already laid out. "Hurry up you two, we have to hurry, I don't want to be late for church."

Molly gazed across at me. "Um sorry but I don't really go to church."

Mom fixed her with a steely glint in her eye. "Well you are today young lady."

Moll's dropped her eyes. "Yes ma'am."

Mom glared at me. "Well don't sit there, we need to get cleaned up and ready to go. I have seen how long it takes you to get dressed and put on makeup."

Molly and I both stared at her, but she didn't flinch. "Marion if you really want to live as Mi, then it's time to show the world. Now go and get dressed, we're going to church."

We finished clearing up the dishes and mom chased us away. In the bedroom Moll's burst into uncontrollable laughter, "Shit we are going to burst into flames when we walk in that church." She started hunting through her clothes and found her least sexy outfit whilst I did the same. Finding something in Moll's bag was impossible, there was nothing in there. I moaned. "God damn it I'm going to have to go shopping."

Moll's laughed. "Yeah me to, I don't really have church going clothes. Jesus it sounds like the start of a joke doesn't it?"

Confused I snapped, "What."

"Well you know a lesbian and a crossdresser walk into a church...."

Mom wasn't happy when she saw us skedaddle out the door.

It took us ages of rummaging through shops to find something suitable. We laughed the whole way home.

We changed quickly and applied only the lightest makeup. When we walked into the kitchen mom sucked in a big breath opening her arms to us both. "You girls look lovely. Marion Bev and her family are going to be there as well, so be warned, there will be questions."

Moll's gave me a squeeze sensing I was about to run. "C'mon babes, we can do this, I just hope the church is strong."

Mom gave her a quizzical look and Moll's laughed. "I am expecting it to fall on my head when I walk in."

We climbed out of my wagon in the carpark and mom gathered us together for a quick lecture. "Heads high girls, we have nothing to be ashamed of."

We quickly found seats and it wasn't hard to pick up on the chatter. The young guys in the crowd were wondering about the girls with mom. We took our seats and it wasn't long before Bev arrived and their brood sat beside us. As always we started with some hymns and it was nice to free the vocal chords and sing enjoying the massed voices.

Molly was lost and stuttered along encouraged by moms' arm around her shoulder. Bev gave me a funny glare but she couldn't hide her smile.

After the service there was the usual gathering and mom was surrounded by her usual band of friends. She was about to do the introductions when the minister walked up. He gave me a funny stare before mom interrupted. "Minister you remember Marion, and this is his girlfriend Molly."

He stuck out his hand. "Marion, well I never. I would never have recognised you. He turned to Molly and gave her a hug. "Welcome Molly, it's a pleasure."

He turned back to me, "So how are the studies going?"

"Um nearly there, not long to go now."

"Good we are expecting big things from you."

It was obvious mom must have warned him, or at least talked to him. He never even flinched.

My heart raced like never before as some of mom's friends who I had known most of my life collected for their regular Sunday gossip. Strangely if there were nasty or snide comments, they were being kept very quiet.

On the drive home mom said. "Well, are you still breathing."

I nodded and Moll's giggled. "At least the church survived."

"Girls you made me so happy, and proud, so very, very proud. Molly thank you for today, promise me you will look after Marion."

Moll's giggles stopped abruptly. "Of course I will, I love her."

Mom nodded. "Good, that's all I wanted to hear. When we get home, we have to get dinner ready because Bev and the family are coming for dinner."

That was a bit of a shock as little Anna questioned me about how come I used to be a boy. Bev tackled me when we were alone. "What the hell is going on? I thought Molly was April's girlfriend... Jesus I thought you and Sandy were the real deal. Mom said you were in love."

I explained the whole sordid tale and we ended up out on the rockers as Anna jumped and climbed all over us.

In the end Bev hugged me. "Be careful Marion, Molly seems pretty strong but I am picking you could easily break her heart."

Wednesday Moll's and I headed back to Lawrence. "So Mi, what's it going to be? Do the Lips need a new guitarist or are you going to tough it out?"

"Nobody is taking my spot, that's my band as well. No I am going to do it. I am just going to have to suck it up."

Molly called the girls and gave them the news as soon as we were home. She also started working on new gigs.

By rehearsal night Molly already had half a dozen gigs booked. First one was back at the Bottleneck. The girls were behind me one hundred percent. Cindy and Jas probably didn't care they were still deep in the honeymoon phase.

Saturday night and we were getting ready to go on stage, the crowd had been building steadily and it looked like it was going to be a full house.

We sat in the green room sinking some shots as I tried to gather the courage. It was Mel who said. Fuck it, if they don't like who we are then we will find other gigs, but we sink or swim together."

We all burst out on stage together and there were lots of cat calls and whistles and a group of girls in the corner were chanting Marion... Marion... Marion and the hand clapping started. As I stood on stage with my skirt barely covering my arse and my stocking tops exposed to the world Jas started playing the intro to one of my songs, it'll be all right on the night. The moment she started to play the clapping changed from solid clapping to full on raging applause. Cindy joined Jas with the tightest groove, Mel walked up to me and hugged me tight. "Let's do it."

She turned back to the mic and as she powered into the first line I was drawn from my frightened state and I played along slowly building my confidence as we got deeper into the song. With my eyes shut tight I let it all go and sung my heart out. My guitar filling the holes with sweet little licks.

Soon it was like a normal night the dancefloor was packed and I mean packed, the whole place was like a giant mosh pit.

Like always after the gig we were swamped by fans. The surprising thing was how accepting they were. Sure there were a few hard core lesbians who weren't happy but I noticed they had been dancing with everybody else.

It was nearly two hours later when we got into the green room. "Holy shit, what a night." Jas groaned. Have we ever had a bigger crowd?"

"Christ I don't know what we were worried about." Mel mumbled, "We should have told the truth I have to admit I was wrong."

"Yeah Mi, they love you more now if that's possible." Jas cried out.

As we were getting ready to leave the manager came over and talked to Moll's. It looked pretty heated and I wondered if they weren't happy.

When she drifted back, she said. "Phew, Jesus that was rough."

Mel asked what was going on and Moll's groaned. "They want us to play every weekend for two months, but when I told them we already had gigs booked he got a bit pissed. We came to an agreement. It will mean rearranging the schedule but it's going to be good. Plus, he offered a lot of money."

The girls all cheered and there were hugs all around. Mom might be right, maybe threes a reason for everything?