Marion's Story Ch. 09

Credit here to my friend and fellow author EM Kay (Marina Kelly) who helped with the story and kept me on the straight and narrow and of course did all the editing so thanks Marina....

The next six months disappeared quickly in a flurry of touring and playing. We rode the wave of success, we had record labels bashing our doors down wanting to record us and the contracts they were offering were attractively lucrative.

Molly and I were tight, in many ways things had never been better between us, she travelled everywhere with us and when we weren't travelling to play, Moll's and I went home to visit mom.

Mom was struggling a little because she was determined to fix things between her and April. Sandy was her saving grace, they had a strong bond and spoke every day, at least April and Sandy were trying to stick it out.

Mom was displeased with me seeing as how I still hadn't talked to either of them since our bust up.

Mom put more and more pressure on both Moll's and me to try and break the deadlock but it just wasn't happening. We were saved from a deepening argument with her when we took on a schedule of gigs that meant we were on the road a lot.

The breaking point arrived in the form of a wedding invitation. My big sis Sue was getting hitched. The wedding was going to be in Chicago where she was now living. Molly was excited and it generated a host of phone calls between mom, Bev and Moll's, planning the trip and what to wear.

We were surprised when out of the blue Sue called. "Hey little bro, Mr famous,"

"Hey Sue, how's the wedding planning going?"

"Yeah it's good but mom suggested I ask your squeeze Molly if she wants to be a bridesmaid... Do you think she will do it?"

I laughed. "Ask her yourself." I handed Moll's the phone and she stared at me. They fell into a tight conversation and I sniggered as Moll's said yes. She looked nervous although excited.

When she passed the phone back to me and Sue said. "OK that's one down, all I need now is for you to say your band will play at the reception."

Again I handed the phone back to Moll's and I heard her say yes again.

When she hung up I chuckled. "What are you going to say if the girls say no?"

"They wouldn't do that babes, you may not know it but those girls love you."

"Yeah but to travel to Chicago, man that's a lot of money and you know what Mel's like when it comes to cash."

"Babes all I have to do is get a couple of venues on board and get them to front up with the travel and accommodation and we will be on a winner. As it happens I have recently turned down some gigs in Chicago we might have to do some travelling but we can do it, we can turn it into a mini tour and make some money."

By the end of the week Moll's had it nailed down, we had a mini tour including not only Chicago but Detroit, Cleveland, Milwaukee and Pittsburgh. Now all she had to do was sell it to the girls.

The tour wasn't the only thing she was busy with, there was also the wedding stuff, she had to spend a lot of time with a local dress maker where she had her measurements taken for her bridesmaids' dress.

The anxiety set in when she found out that April was also a bridesmaid.

It came out on a visit home when mom let slip that Sandy was also going to be a bridesmaid, April had obviously pushed that one.

For me things were getting serious, my life as Mi had begun in earnest and after months of living in Mi's skin it started to feel more normal, natural even. Marion had pretty much vanished and at first that worried me but with every passing day Mi became who I really was and seriously, I loved my new life. Even although most people knew I was a man in a dress I had stopped caring, it no longer worried me what others said, I still felt like a woman. It was no surprise to Moll's when I told her I wanted to get breast implants and some facial surgery. All she begged was that I take care and not go too far.

Taking her advice I decided on small boobs, just a B cup small but pert. My lips I wanted a little pout not massive just more kissable lips, what I was most worried about, was ending up looking like some freak.

I booked in for the surgery and although Moll's knew I asked her not to tell the girls, I still felt a little bit unsettled about it, somehow fake like a pretend woman.

The surgery was simple enough, when I woke in the recovery room Molly was there holding my hand and there were gentle tears as she gripped me tightly. As I lay there, I croaked. "Did it go OK?"

She smiled. "Yeah babes you now have cute little titties, but they look pretty swollen now."

Recovery took a few days and as the swelling went down, I was left with these gorgeous cute little boobs. They were tender to touch but as the days slipped by, they started to feel more normal and I got used to the weight and bounce. I spent hours in front of the mirror just playing and staring.

Every time Moll's caught me, she laughed. "Jeez Louise give them a rest they'll fall off."

It was different in bed though. She couldn't wait to get her hands and lips on them. She spent as much time playing with them as I did staring at them. Her lips were never far from the pointy little nipples and she loved them. Licking and sucking, twisting and pinching while she rode my cock to new heights of orgasmic delight.

My lips were the hardest to get used to, don't get me wrong I loved them they came out perfect giving me the perfect balance of kissability and pout. Now when I applied my lipstick, I didn't have to use the specialist plumper lipsticks, I could select the colours and finishes I liked.

The next stop was the beauty salon where I finally got the eyebrows I wanted, as well as my ears pierced, going for two holes instead of one.

Suddenly I was able to do all the girly things I had always wanted. New hair styles, new clothes that didn't have to hide the fact I had no tits. Now I had something to flaunt I wanted to make the most of it. All my new outfits had plunging necklines and spaghetti straps.

When we found out April and Sandy were going to be bridesmaids it scared Moll's and especially me. We were both nervous about how it would go. The only thing carrying Moll's along was the fact she was so looking forward to being part of it. She spent hours on the phone with Sue and Bev as they planned it.

As expected the band was happy to play at the wedding when Moll's unveiled the whole tour package. The gigs were going to be at the very best venues and large crowds were expected.

A couple of weeks after the operation I felt comfortable enough to go to rehearsal and it had been such a long break we all greeted each other with hugs and kisses. Jas commented. "Shit babes, I want some of that lipstick you're using, look at those lips they look luscious."

Cindy joined her. "Hell yeah I could kiss those... Hmmm honey they look sweet."

Even Mel gave me a bit of a sideways glance. Molly just chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief.

As we got into the songs and I slipped out of the jacket and exposed the tiny top I was wearing which had spaghetti straps and no bra Mel kept peeking, staring at me. I noticed but pretended not to notice, but she kept losing her place as she became more unsettled. In the end Jas stopped playing moaning. "Jesus Mel get with the program girl, you're all over the place."

Mel apologised. "Yeah sorry." But she couldn't drag her eyes away. Jas sighed. "What the hell are you staring at?" She leaned over staring as well before she blurted out. "Holy shit bat girl, you've got tits..."

Molly laughed loudly. "Get over yourselves, you've all got them."

Jas giggled with her. "Yeah but shit... they look good." She sidled over for a better look, Cindy climbed out from behind the kit and moved around so she could see what all the fuss was about. "Oh hell yes... Damn they're nice... real nice. If you need a hand carrying them around just give me a call."

Jas poked her tongue out and teased. "I'm sure if she needs a hand, she'll call me first won't you babes?" and she blew me a kiss. Moll's sneered. "Easy you bunch of sex mad bitches, she's mine and if you have any doubts just try and put your hands on her."

The rehearsals went well after that and we started to get our heads around what a set list for a wedding would be like. Sue sent us a pile of requests which brought tears to our eyes as Moll's read them out at rehearsal Mel laughed so hard, she had tears streaming down her face.

As we all recovered, I said. "Moll's perhaps you should tell Sue to find an actual wedding band, we can't play this shit."

She cringed. "But I already confirmed with her, I'll look like an asshole if we pull out now and she would probably never talk to either of us again."

Mel who was still chuckling said. "Offer her the option, she has us as we are or not at all, we could play a couple of the less cheesy songs on her list, but most of it is just tripe."

Moll's nodded. "OK what if I get her to select her favourite five songs, but that is all?"

We agreed that we'd give it a go. That night we played a few of them, the ones that we knew and a couple sounded OK, not really us but OK.

Moll's was really excited about being part of the wedding. She got all girly over the whole thing. She continued to spend hours on the phone helping with the planning.

The killer blow arrived the next week when Moll's announced she had received an invite to go to Sue's hen's night. The invite came with air tickets and accommodation all paid for. When I saw them, I was pissed off because I knew she must have known all along but waited until the invite package arrived before mentioning it to me.

She must have known but was worried about telling me, which meant there was mischief afoot. The thought that April and Sandy would also be there didn't help, in fact that alone scared the shit out of me. Ignoring Moll's excitement I moaned. "I know you're going to hate me for this but I would prefer that you didn't go."

Aghast she yelped. "What... Why not?"

"Well honestly I'm a little pissed, you must have talked to Sue about this, why didn't you tell me? Plus April will be there."

She faltered a little, "I'm sorry babes, you're right, I should have told you but I knew you would be upset, but you don't have to worry about April, I won't even talk to her."

Unappeased I mumbled, "You know what she's like, she always gets what she wants."

She rasped, "Let me get this straight you think I am going to jump into bed with her."

"No that's not what I meant, but she will try to seduce you, we both know that she will want to rub my face in it."

"Fuck you don't trust me at all do you? God damn it April is history, I wouldn't touch her, but I am really looking forward to this. I have never been to a hen's party."

"There will be others, I would really prefer you didn't go."

She gave me an evil stare. "Fine then you tell Sue because I'm not going to, damn it I want to go."

When I rang Sue and told her Moll's wasn't going, she became enraged especially when I told her why. She pretty much told me to grow up. Sue and Moll's kept talking and that's when the coercion started. Sue tried several times to convince me that she would look after Moll's herself and Sandy was going to be there so April wouldn't be able to do anything even if she wanted to.

Moll's was sneakier and kept working covertly slipping in comments whenever she could, making me feel guilty.

The clincher was Sandy who knocked on our door one evening. "Marion, we need to talk."

I opened the door and when Molly saw her, she became very tense although when Sandy walked up and kissed her, she softened.

"I'm not here to fight, I only wanted to say sorry for the way I treated you Marion. I want to clear the air and somehow make amends. I want, no that's wrong, I need us to be friends I feel guilty and embarrassed with the way our relationship ended, I acted horribly and want to make it up to you, I don't know how but I want us to be able to put all the pain behind us."

Moll's made some coffee as we flopped down into the cushions. "Sandy, I have no ill feelings towards you, yes it hurt because I thought we had something special, I think you used me, I think you knew what you wanted all along. But hey! Things turned out for the best in the end. I stopped hating you and I would like to be able to get along."

She looked shocked. "Marion, you're wrong, I never meant to hurt you, I know you won't believe me but I have feelings for you, real feelings and it was you who dragged me out of a bad place and I will be forever grateful for that."

"Sorry Sandy but I find that hard to believe."

She sniffled as the tears built, "Why would you say that? We shared so much... You showed me love, yeah I know it all looks bad but I loved you, I still do."

"Yeah whatever Sandy, we don't have to agree to get along, just tell me what you want?"

"I want you to let Molly go to the hens' weekend."

I sneered, "Molly is a big girl and she can do what she likes but I don't trust April I know she will try to get her into bed."

She looked disappointed, "You don't trust April... That I understand, but what about Molly and Me?"

"I don't trust you either Sandy, you are as guilty as she is."

"Marion I have tried to say sorry, I agree my behaviour was horrid, but April and I love each other, we would never do anything to hurt you."

"Yeah well I have heard that all before I am afraid."

Sandy sighed, "I know this must be hard for you we all did some horrible things to you, I accept we will always be trying to make that up to you, we all feel that guilt don't we Molly?"

Moll's nodded, "Yeah I'm no better than April, I hurt you babe, and like Sandy I will be forever trying to make amends." She hugged me tight, "I'm sorry Mi I really am."

Sandy smiled thinly, "Mi April did some horrible things to all of us and it took me a lot to forgive her, but she has changed. She has been going to counselling and everything and I have been going with her. The counsellor actually would like you to go to some sessions." She turned to Molly. "She would like you to go as well."

Moll's and I shared a quick nervous glance. "Nah I don't think so Sandy, April's problems are hers not ours."

Shaking her head vigorously she groaned, "They're yours as well and it might be easier for you to get past the anger if you attended and heard April, she is sorry for what happened she has said it over and over again. You might find it hard to believe and I don't blame you, but she does love you both."

"Sandy you're delusional, that girl doesn't know how to love, she doesn't know the meaning of the word."

Moll's muttered. "Mi maybe we have to give her a chance... I'm ready to let the past go."

"Yeah well I'm not. Sorry Sandy but she hurt me, and so did you damn it. Christ every time I have something in my life, she wants to take it away." I burst into tears unable to hold back any longer, I wanted to put on a brave face but it wasn't possible.

Molls rushed over and wrapped me in her arms and Sandy was close behind. "I'm sorry Mi I really am, I know how much I hurt you but please we can't go on like this. Your mom has started talking to April again and April is trying to make amends with her. Please I am begging you let go your anger."

Moll's and I curled up in bed after Sandy left. "Mi babes I think it's time for you to forgive, maybe not forget, just let the anger go. Perhaps it would be good to go to the sessions and see what it's all about."

That's how we ended up sitting in the waiting room at the therapist's office. Sandy and April were already in there and Moll's and me had been waiting for twenty minutes holding hands tightly huddled together before the door opened and Sandy waved us in.

Sitting with her head in her hands bawling her eyes out was April. Sandy had obviously been crying as well. Colleen the therapist welcomed us in. "Right straight to the point shall we." She said in her soft southern drawl. "To bring you up to speed April Sandy and I have been working together for a while now trying to get a handle on her anger issues. She admits she has treated everyone badly but especially you Marion, but she wants to apologise."

She turned to April and patted her hand. "C'mon dear, let's start shall we."

April peered up from behind her hands and sniffled. "Hi Marion." I responded with a curt nod .

As she stared intently at Moll's and me through tearful eyes she blubbered. "I want you to know that I acted badly and hurt you, I know that and I have no excuse."

She broke down completely tears flowing like the big muddy, and it took her a while before carrying on. "Marion I did it purposefully, I wanted to hurt you. I blamed you for everything that went wrong in my life. You were moms' favourite, you were dads' favourite, when you started singing in the choir grandma thought you were just fucking marvellous, it's all she ever talked about. Marion this, Marion did that, you were the special one. They completely forgot about me. I disappeared when you were around. I wanted somebody to notice me, say something nice about me, but no all they talked about was you..."

She broke down again, and Molly started crying as did Sandy but her tears fell on deaf ears with me. "What a load of crap April. You girls always came first with mom and grandma, Jesus I was barely gone a month and she gave you my treehouse, the only thing I had that was mine alone and she gave it to you. She loved you way more than she loved me."

"The treehouse!" She screamed, "Who fucking cares about the treehouse, you got piano lessons, I pleaded for weeks to get them as well but we could only afford for one, Sue was getting tutoring, Bev had ballet, me what did I get fucking nothing that's what I got."

I was stunned at the depth of her anger. The look in her eyes was pure hatred. "You see it was always you, I wanted to tell mom how I felt but she was always busy with church or running after you she never had time for me. The best thing that happened to me was when we made you wear a dress. It may have been Sue's idea but I loved seeing you humiliated. But even that failed miserably, look at you, Christ you look fucking spectacular."

Colleen quietened her down. "April it's good to get all this out in the open and talk about but let's cut to the chase shall we, the root of the problem."

She nodded. "Marion... Molly... I have always struggled with my identity, my sexual identity. When I started to have feelings towards Sandy, I tried to brush it aside, pretend it wasn't happening but every time I tried to get close to a boy, I became terrified and uncomfortable."

The tears resurfaced as she sniffled. "Sandy and I started holding hands, kissing then going further. I was a lesbian and I hated it. I was embarrassed. Shit remember all the nasty things people said about Sandy when they found out about her. I went along with it just to fit in, I was scared they would say the same things about me."

Sandy tried to quell her tears but she shook her head. "No, I've got to get this out. I sabotaged my relationship with Sandy because she wanted to tell everybody and I couldn't handle that so I pushed her away. Then when you and I connected again and I met Molly I was so attracted to her, I was in lust and I couldn't hide it, and I wanted her, the fact it would hurt you was just a bonus. I set out to seduce her."

Molly muttered. "Why? Why did you do that, I thought we had something."

April sighed. "We did and I would have happily lived with you for evermore but then this shithead brings Sandy back into my life, he had you, then he had her. I was angry he had my girl... Again."

I sat stoically trying to take it all in but it was all going over my head.

"Marion I am sorry, none of this was your fault I hate myself so much that's why I do this shit, not because I hate you, it's because I hate myself. I sabotage everything to feel pain. When dad died it seemed I lost everything he was the one person who understood me, he could take away the pain with a cuddle or a hug. When he died a little of me died with him."