Marriage Divorce Life Ch. 01

Shelby, my wife and I had been married for nearly twenty years. We were now empty nesters and I hoped that would be the catalyst for a new stage in our life. Not that our life was bad, in fact it was great, but with the kids gone I wanted us to enjoy some extra time together as a couple, actually spend some time together. The last ten years had been hard work, we had set our sights on getting the mortgage paid off and the kids into good schools. With both those goals met this was going to be our time.

Life doesn't always go the way we expect and I was about to learn that the hard way.

Shelby worked hard as an independent literary editor. She had spent many years working for a top publishing house but five years ago after some pressure from writers she worked with she went out on her own. It didn't take her long to establish herself having taken a couple of top writers with her others soon followed.

I worked as a car salesman for a top dealership and I was pretty happy with my career choice. I loved cars and car racing. My love for cars spilled over into my dealings with people. Honest John had nothing on me, mostly because my reputation meant a lot to me. I tried to always do the right thing, at first, I clashed with my bosses but they learned quickly that my honesty and desire to do right by our customers sold more cars than dodgy dealings. A happy customer is a repeat customer.

So now with our life goals well and truly met I was hoping to get to spend some extra quality time with my wife.

Shelby is the quintessential understated beauty. She is attractive without trying. Her figure is slim, she always complained that her boobs were too small but I thought they were perfect.

Over the last couple of years, we had sort of drifted. We had our own circle of friends and often went to parties or gatherings alone because one or the other of us was tired or didn't feel like going, and we were now at a stage in our lives where we could honestly say, sorry I don't want to go. No drama.

We still made love three or four nights a week on average. After twenty years we sort of had a routine and it never varied much. I hoped that with the kids now both gone we could reignite a little of the lost passion.

The kids had moved out of home to go to school. I thought it was great but Shelby hated it. With the house empty things got a little strained between us. Things that never used to worry us suddenly became big issues. She missed the kids and I could see it and feel for her. They say there is a syndrome or something that effects women when the kids fly the coupe. Shelby definitely struggled with it. That surprised me because she was so busy. She had an active social life, lots of friends. Her business was racing ahead. I thought she had enough in her life to cover for the kids leaving.

So, over the last twelve months Shelby had substituted the kids with writers. There were a couple in particular she spent a lot of time with. Annabelle was a nice woman and I guess a half decent writer. Shelby had taken her under her wing trying to encourage her.

The other writer Paul I wasn't so happy about. They spent too much time together and unlike Annabelle it wasn't here at home. It was always at her office or his place. I never questioned Shelby's fidelity, I trusted her implicitly, I just hated the way he monopolised her time, I admit I suffered a little jealousy. This was supposed to be our time and it annoyed me that she so easily gave it to him. Whenever I complained, it always turned into an argument. She took exception to my grizzling chiding me for acting like a jealous school boy.

She was so sure he was going to be special, for some reason it bugged the shit out of me, whenever she talked about him it was always in such glowing terms.

Yeah, it was annoying, but I figured it was nothing that other married couples didn't go through.

I did get a bit of a shock when out of the blue, with no discussion, Shelby announced over dinner one night that she was going to be running a writer's clinic.

When she first floated it, I thought it sounded like a great idea, she had a large group of writers who worked with her and to run something like that sounded perfect. What didn't sound quite so good was the location, without even talking to me, she rented a house at lake Brunner, and she would be gone for a whole month.

"A month!" I growled. "Jesus Shelby, you're not going to stay up there the whole time, are you?"

She nodded, "Tom I want this to be something I do regularly, you know I love working with novice writers."

"Yeah, I know but Christ girl a month...are you coming home weekends?"

Shaking her head slowly she mumbled, "No, I made a commitment to the writers, and I am staying there with them to work and offer advice when needed." She glared with bright intensity, "Honey this is going to make us nearly $25000 dollars."

The figure blew me away, "Wow, the money sounds good, but what about us?"

She seemed a little shocked by my statement, but quickly recovered, "Don't be overly dramatic hon, god, we are adults after all, surely we can spend some time apart. The kids are gone, we are free."

"What do you mean free?"

"I mean we can do what we want without worrying about getting home at certain times, or schedules...we are free, It's not like we are teenagers, we don't have to spend every waking moment together."

"This doesn't make sense. What am I supposed to do while you're gone?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake Tom, you're a grown man, you can get by. You have that bloody awful rust bucket that you call a car sitting in the garage you haven't worked on for ages, you have your car mad mates and golfing buddies, you have friends."

That was a kick in the guts, and it didn't resonate well with me. Suddenly we were supposed to live completely separate lives. Shelby wouldn't be deterred, she had it all organised. To get things organised she decided to have a get together of all the writers at our house on Saturday. When she told me Friday night, I got straight on the phone to see if the guys wanted to play golf, just so I didn't have to be here.

I left early to miss the swarm of wannabe writers. When I arrived at the course, about to unpack my clubs when I got a phone call, the guys had been involved in a car accident and wouldn't make it.

The course was packed so after smacking a few balls at the driving range I decided to head home.

Pulling into our little cul-de-sac I could see parking at our house was going to be impossible. there were about twelve cars parked in our driveway, on the lawn, on the verge and on both sides of the road. I ended up parking up the road at one of our friends and walked back home.

I figured she would have them all gathered in the living room, and as I walked up the drive, I could see there was indeed a huge gathering in there. I walked up the side of the house in through the open back door so as not to disturb anybody. The last thing I wanted was to be surrounded by that bunch of posers.

As I walked through the laundry trying to make as little noise as possible, I neared the kitchen and heard what sounded like lovers kissing. I poked my head around the corner wondering who I was going to be catching out and there was Shelby in the arms of Paul. Her arms up over his shoulders standing on tip toe reaching up to receive his kiss. Their tongues swirled wildly and it was a moment of deep passion. I snatched my head back quickly leaning against the door absolutely flabbergasted trying to catch my breath. It was like being punched in the guts hard. I had to use all my powers of self-restraint not to barge in, grab him and punch him in the face.

I stumbled a little turning to lean back against the wall and catch my breath and give my heart a chance to catch up. As I leaned there, I closed my eyes trying to figure out what to do, it was then I heard him say, "God I can't wait to get you up to that damn cabin. I'm not sure I can wait that long."

Her sexy titter shocked me, "I can't wait either, but you will have to wait lover, we will still have to be discreet."

"C'mon Shelby they all know we are seeing each other."

"Maybe so but I don't want to flaunt it. I am still a married woman after all." She sniggered.

I turned and walked out. I had heard enough. My head spun my heart raced and I needed some air. I walked back out onto the street and wandered up the road. Walking slowly, I managed to get my breathing under control and I felt like my body was at least functioning. I walked down to the park and sat on one of the benches to try and figure out what to do.

this was obviously a long-standing affair, judging by the way they talked, like lovers.

I waited until all the cars vanished before returning. My body and mind may have been working but the anger I felt rose with every step. As I got closer to home those levels climbed dramatically. I walked in the front door, Shelby was finishing her clearing up. When she saw me, she looked up smiling sweetly, as if nothing had happened, like it was just another day, "Hey sweetie, how was the game?"

"Not so good, the others didn't make it. What the hell's going on Shelby?"

She glanced sideways at me nervously taking a step back, "What are you talking about?"

"How long have you been sleeping with Paul?"

Her face paled and her breathing stopped just for a second. She stumbled back against the counter top looking for support, "I don't know what you're talking about?"

I felt my cheeks burning as the anger boiled over, "Bullshit." I screamed, my flying spittle splattering her face. "No more lies...stop treating me like a fool. How long has this affair with Paul been going on?"

Her breathing became ragged. Her word's stuck in her throat. It took her several minutes to get her breath, she reached out clutching my arm for support, "Tom I'm so sorry...how...I mean how did you find out?"

"I came home earlier and saw you kissing him, I heard you talking about how you couldn't wait to be together...How long has this affair been going?"

Tears started to flow and her body shuddered dramatically as she tried to speak through her snivelling sobs, "A little while."

She collapsed against me, her arms wrapped around my waist, "Tom I wanted to tell you I really did. The time just never seemed right. I...I...I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You think me hearing you tell him you couldn't wait to be in his arms wouldn't hurt. Bloody hell you broke my heart."

Her tears soaked into my shirt as she buried her head further into my shoulder, "I'm sorry Tom, I don't know what to say."

"Are you in love with him?"

Silence...cold deathly silence pervaded the room, "Well tell me...do you love him?"

"I don't want to hurt you more, honey I...I...I...shit Tom this is hard."

"Just bloody tell me, do you love him?"

"I don't know...yes, I mean I do have feelings for him."

"Feelings...What the hell does that mean, I have feelings for people as well but that doesn't mean I jump into bed with them."

Her guilty flushed face dropped and she tried to hide her eyes under my arm pit. "I have feeling's I don't know what to say, I can't explain them, or what they are I don't know, I like spending time with him."

"Then you're leaving me?"

Her body sagged against me, I had to grab her to hold her up. Her body shuddered and convulsed as the sobbing fit turned into hysterics, "W...Www... What... god no...I'm confused, but no, I'm not leaving you."

"Then what the hell are you saying? At least tell me it's over with him."

Her pleading embarrassed eyes stared up at me, "Tom, I can't say that."

With more growling snarl than intended I hissed, "Make up your mind Shelby, you can't have it both ways, that's not the way it works."

"I'm sorry Tom my thoughts are so muddled about everything."

Disbelief, shock, rage ravaged my body. Pushing her away I walked over to the drink's cabinet, "I need a drink."

As I poured my drink I hissed, "Shelby tell me what's going on, try and explain it so I can understand...this workshop, am I right it's just a cover so you can have sex for a month, live together, just tell me."

Her face awash with tears, her body convulsing wildly she grabbed my drink and took a calming gulp, "The workshop is real, but yes I was using it to see what it would be like to live with Paul, see if we could get along. I do have feelings for him. God, I don't know Tom, this all sounds terrible. I just wanted to spend time with him, figure out my feelings, I mean we have never even slept together."

"These feelings you keep waffling about, I assume if it went well with him you were coming home to tell me you were leaving?"

Her hysterics returned, sniffling and trying to keep the flood of tears under control she screeched, "No of course not, I don't know, I haven't exactly thought this through."

"If I hadn't caught you out were you going to tell me?"

Guiltily she mumbled, "I wanted to tell you, right from the start, you know me, I don't like to lie."

"Fucking bollocks, you've been lying for however long this things been going on...how long is it Shelby, at least tell me that much?"

"Six months." She whimpered.

That floored me, "Six fucking months!" I screamed, "And you say you hate lying, seems like you've been doing a good job of something you hate."

"Please sweetie, don't act like this."

"Like what? Like an angry husband who found out his wife has been cheating on him!!"

"Can we try to talk about this rationally, can we calm down, and speak without the yelling...please."

"How many others have there been?"

"Oh my god, I'm not some cheap slut. Apart from you Paul is the only other man I have ever been with."

"So, where do we go from here?"

She flinched, "I don't know what to say, I wanted this month so I could collect my thoughts see if my feelings for Paul are real or just an infatuation."

"Just tell me what you want."

She gave me a twisted thin hopeful smile, "What I want is to have the month and regather my senses, then come home and we, you and I could sit down and discuss the future calmly, without the anger. Would you give me that?"

"No." I bellowed, "God no, I'm not sitting here at home while you go off with old lover boy. Hell no."

"Tom this is important, I need to assess my feelings."

I lost it completely, her total lack of respect absolutely floored me, and I roared, my bellowing voice reverberating loudly, "Tough fucking luck, I'm sorry Shelby, but that's not how it works, if you want to go with him then go, but you don't get to choose what happens afterwards, you choose now, or you live with the consequences."

Wiping her eyes frantically to try and stem the flow of tears she whimpered, "Tom, please don't make this harder than it is, I don't know what to do, this isn't make believe, I have feelings for him, real feelings. Honey it would be just one month against over twenty years, surely you can give me that?"

"No, I've given you twenty years if you don't know how you feel about me after that then there's no hope."

"I know my feelings for you sweets, I love you, I always have. This doesn't change that."

"Of course, it does, you've been carrying on an affair for six months, treating me like an idiot, and yes that's how I feel."

"You're not an idiot Tom, I'm sorry for keeping it from you, I should have been honest from the outset. I wanted to; I just didn't know how."

When all I could do was shake my head in disbelief she mumbled, "This hasn't affected us up till now has it?"

"Only because I didn't know. I assure you Shelby if I had known it would have most definitely affected our relationship, that I can promise you."

"Tom you missed my point. During the time I have been seeing Paul, has our relationship suffered?"

Stuck I mumbled, "I don't know do I? I suppose not."

She lifted up to her full height and tried to show determination, "That's right, it hasn't. Has our sex life suffered? No, it hasn't, if you had been paying attention you might have noticed that I have been a little more interested lately...We have been having sex a lot more recently, haven't we?"

I felt the fight seeping out of me, her words confused and irritated me. She said quietly, "Tom honey, we have been drifting over the last couple of years, I felt like you take me for granted. We don't make love as much and the intensity has definitely faded. This gave me a lift, excited me and you have been enjoying the benefits."

"I'm hurting here Shell, why did you thought running around with another man would fix our relationship? Bloody hell I didn't even know it was broken. You have never mentioned that you weren't happy. Why couldn't we talk, fix it together?"

"It's because you can be a little unapproachable, rigid, aloof even. Tom you are a wonderful man but over the years I have tried to talk to you about different stuff, but you just poo, poo me and it always made me feel inferior, or insignificant. God if I ever dared to raise sexuality you clammed up leaving me feeling embarrassed, or guilty."

She sniffled, "I'm sorry you had to find out like this, I wanted to tell you but there was always somebody around, or we were busy, you see that's part of the problem. You are never emotionally available for me."

She gave me a pleading look, "We have been married for over twenty years. I love you my darling I really do and what's more you know it. I have never once refused you anything, I have supported you and never questioned your decisions, all I am asking for is a month for me to get my head straight."

Confused I blasted, "Give you a month.... What so you can figure out if you're staying or leaving me? Hell no, if you go with him there will be no coming back."

She looked shocked; I honestly think she thought I would just say OK.

Chewing anxiously on her lower lip she whispered hoarsely, "I think you're over reacting." She grabbed my arm trying to snuggle into my arms, "Hon it's just the shock, and I suppose anger, a lot has happened and you are trying to process a lot of information but I think once you think it through you will see it is the right decision, a month, that's all I'm asking, it's nothing. You don't want to throw away everything we have built together."

As we stood swaying slowly, I could see she was almost challenging me and there was a determined edge developing in her voice.

She smiled, "I love you Tom I really do, I'm sorry you had to find out this way, that wasn't fair. "She reached for my hand, squeezing it tightly, "it doesn't have to be a war sweetie."

I was flabbergasted, struggling for words all I could say was, "No Shell, the answer is no, if you walk out that door and run off with him then I won't be here when you get back." There now my challenge was laid down, the gauntlet well and truly thrown.

She sighed, "You are being silly my love, let's not fight. I think we both need time to think."

She walked out leaving me staring open mouthed.

When I climbed into bed that night, she snuggled up behind me, her hand drifting over my hips to grab my penis, "Can we make love honey, I want to feel you inside me."

I sneered, "What didn't lover boy satisfy you today?"

She sucked in a shocked breath, "What did you say? Tom all we did was kiss."

Sitting upright and turning to glare at her I rasped, "Yeah well when was the last time you had sex with him?"

Her eyes looked away and her hand let my flaccid penis flop down, "I don't know a few days ago."

"When Shelby, be honest."

"Thursday!" She snapped.

Engaging my memory, I recalled Thursday I got home from work late and she had been in a particularly randy mood and initiated sex, shit she had sex with both of us on the same day. I was Appalled, "Christ Shell, we had sex Thursday as well... Did you at least shower?"