Martin Luther

Later when Martin was heading back to his room he strongly felt that something was wrong. The things his teachers were all saying and what were actually supposed to be the teachings of the church were not the same. Day by day as more and more evidence mounted up Martin was left with the inescapable truth that the pope was not really the pope but was a fraud. God would not allow a murderer to be pope, would he? God would not allow a child rapist to be pope, would he? God would not allow a thief and a liar to be pope, would he? But much more than all of that, God absolutely would not allow a heretic to be pope. There was no question on that. So there was only one conclusion. The real pope had to be someone else and not the guy in Rome. The real pope would be wanting to lead people to Christ but who could it be?

Wait, he couldn't be right. Who was he to judge the pope? He was always being told that he had to accept whoever Rome chose as pope no matter what or he'd be out of the church. It was the one main, constant, core teaching of the church for all time, wasn't it? Being a Catholic meant personal loyalty to the pope not any religious connection to Jesus. Martin had to be wrong. No one was allowed to judge the pope. There was no way. He tried to ignore it as just over thinking but the longer he was in seminary and the more integrated he became into the church and her politics, the more he could see all the corruption going on with money under the table, theft, and lies. And fear. Everyone lived in total fear all the time. There was no love no matter how much everyone talked about it. No matter, he told himself. He was going to not bring attention to himself, get ordained and be a good priest. He took the year one exams and was pretty confident that he'd passed.

He had passed from year one to year two but his change in behavior had been noticed. He wasn't confronted about it directly and it seemed that maybe everyone just thought he was pretending to keep up appearances. Martin started to live according to the rule of St. Benedict and it was no act. When the school staff offered him to participate in some sin or other and Martin would politely decline it was then that they knew. Little by little he found himself no longer treated as the star favorite pupil by the seminary staff but rather as a pariah whose days were numbered. During second year Martin improved his Latin to the point where not only could he read it but he could speak it at a basic level as well. He discovered all the excellent Latin texts that had never been translated into English and it became his mission to learn all he could from them. And then he discovered the traditional Latin mass. The deeper and deeper he went one by one not a single person at the seminary would even talk to him directly anymore. He would never be called on in class, and he was made to rewrite his papers over and over again.

Then it came time for the year two exam which he had to pass in order to go on to final year at the end of which would be ordination. Martin was very confident that he'd totally aced his tests. Totally. Martin wouldn't even call that thing they gave him a test it was so easy.

Only he hadn't passed at all it seemed. There was a secret requirement to make it to third year and Martin hadn't fulfilled it yet. In order to pass and get ordained he had to agree to let all the male staff of the seminary all fuck him in the ass. It was tradition according to them. All the other candidates had done it already and he was the last one. Out of respect for his mother they were originally going to let Martin slide without asking this of him but with his change over the previous year and wearing a cassock of all things, they had to insist that he accept being inseminated if he wanted to stay in seminary. It was him proving that he was more loyal to his superiors than even to God. He had to show them that he fully accepted their authority over him for the rest of this life and in the next when they would all be burning in hell together. Well, if anyone even went to hell cause according to the current pope hell must be empty if it even really existed at all.

Martin was put on the spot and made to answer right away and so he retreated to the chapel. However, it would not be a sanctuary for him and again he found himself running for his life with nothing but the cassock on his back. He wasn't sure if the seminary staff really would carry out their threat but he wouldn't put it past them.

Martin had no money but he was walking to the bus stop anyway. Before he could arrive he was picked up by a cop car and in swift order Martin was in the police station being asked about child molestation. Martin kept his mouth shut and didn't say a word. Most people who get convicted or have to take a plea get into that position because of something they themselves say to the police to explain. There was no explaining. He just had to accept his new life of being a prisoner with a vow of silence. As long as he did not have his freedom he would not utter another word in English for the rest of his life. Even as they were asking him questions he blocked out their voices by reciting the Credo in Latin in his head.

Instead of letting him sleep in a bed, Martin was forced to sleep handcuffed to a chair. Morning had come and Martin thought it would be another round of them asking him the same questions over and over again. He wouldn't even hear them. He would turn his mind to God and let that be the only cause of his existence. It was his cross to carry. Wow, being a believer actually really sucked but he had no choice once God was really revealed to him.

And then something very inexplicable happened. After the night shift was gone and the day shift was there the cops just uncuffed him. They opened the door and they were letting him go.

"You don't have to say anything. We know. We're not stupid. We know all about what they're doing over there. Just go. And to be safe, maybe don't ever come back here."

Martin nodded to show he accepted the advice and then he quickly got to his feet and got out the door to accept his freedom again.

Day by day Martin hitchhiked across the state to try to get somewhere, anywhere. He needed a fresh start and he knew the kind of fresh start he wanted. The superior at the seminary had to be wrong. There had to be a bishop somewhere out there who was validly consecrated in the old rite before the changes that made the rite invalid. There had to be someone who could make him a priest, a real priest with valid ordination in the eyes of God. There had to be. But where? There was no guarantee that the Armenians or Byzantines had valid orders after they were occupied and forced to change their rites to appease the heathen muslims who didn't even believe in the same god. Martin felt like he could only trust the Latin rite, the true Latin rite that they were attempting to suppress.

Two weeks after being informed of his excommunication from a church that was apparently all fake now he was very rough around the edges but he'd finally made it back home to the town where he'd grown up. Without any idea of how to get his life started again back on the right track he went to the office where his social worker worked to ask for help. Martin put on a brave face for her while she was concerned for him. The woman had great news for Martin. She'd been contacted by someone in Martin's family, an actual blood relative, looking for him. Martin couldn't believe it. He was informed that he had an aunt and uncle and that they were very eager to get to know Martin.

... Chapter 3 Two men on a road trip

It was a very strange first meeting. Martin's uncle Ben was a heavy set man but was nonetheless all charged up and full of energy and came immediately once he was informed that Martin had been found. Martin wasn't related to him by blood but rather the uncle was married to Claudia, the sister of Martin's mother. Martin's actual blood relative was his aunt who was off doing something or other in Europe.

When Martin was first introduced to his uncle their relationship started with just a handshake but the uncle then pulled Martin in for a big jolly hug. Martin was very much not used to anyone touching him with any kind of affection and he flinched as if he expected an attack.

Without Martin really giving a lot of input into things apparently it was already decided that Martin would go with his uncle and stay at his uncle's house instead of sleeping on his former social worker's sofa anymore.

"You have to stay on your game. I call it beating the bushes. You have to just go out there and hustle and work." the uncle said during the initial stage of the very long car ride as he took it upon himself to give his nephew life advice.

Martin found it strange to be spoken to again like he was a little kid or something. He also found the short phone call to his aunt to be rather strange as female voice on the phone told him that she loved him even thought Martin had no sense of who she was.

After a long day of driving they stopped for the night at a motel and stayed in room 13. The room number disturbed Martin but not because he was superstitious about the number 13. It was something else that bothered him but he didn't know what. Martin had a plan to just pray using the old office from the time before Pius X and then go to sleep but instead his uncle wanted to go see what the small hick town had to offer. Once Martin was cleaned up with new fresh clothes his uncle was telling him how maybe if they were lucky they could bring some girls back to the motel room. Martin thought that was a strange thing for his allegedly married uncle to be saying but he was going to keep his mouth shut. Martin needed to get established with some kind of means for himself before he could go saying anything and have anyone listen. Once he was able to do that he could continue his search for a real bishop.

There were girls in the bar but the music was way too loud for Martin to hear what any of them were saying. All he could do was smile and pretend to sip his drink. Amazingly enough that night while Martin had been able to keep the girls off of him so he could secretly be true to himself and be a good priest once he finally found valid ordination, his uncle was not so inclined. The fat man indeed was able to get one of the farmer's daughters to his bed and Martin had to hang out outside until they were done. Martin really didn't know how he was supposed to be feeling about all of this or what it meant.

Martin was attempting to buy a bottle of water since he no longer indulged in sugary drinks but for some reason the vending machine wouldn't take his money. He was thinking of going over to the ice machine to just suck on a few pieces of ice when he heard laughing. He turned to see that girl leaving the room Martin was sharing with his uncle and the uncle was waving at her goodbye from the doorway. Martin walked back to the motel room and the uncle smiled big at him.

"What do you think? I got game or what?"

"Uh, I don't know." Martin replied.

"Now, I sure hope I don't have to remind you that this stays here. You got me?"

"I got you." Martin answered when he was finally able to get back in.

"Shit man, that girl in the yellow was eyeing you all night. You should have ..."

Martin wasn't listening about what he should have done. He was completely confident in the fact that he'd done the right thing.

The next morning, instead of driving out directly to the uncle's house, they took a detour to go fishing.

"What do you think, huh?" asked the uncle when he rented a huge boat for them to go out onto the sea. "Just two men being men. It's great."

Martin smiled and appeased him while secretly Martin was worried about what he was supposed to do if there was trouble and the boat sunk or something. He'd never been on a boat before and when they were so far out that they couldn't see land anymore Martin almost felt like he wanted to panic. Thankfully the plan was not to sleep out on the boat and they returned to shore by dusk.

After a few days of this eventually Martin and his uncle made it to the uncle's home. The house they arrived at could actually be better described as an estate. A lot of foster kids and orphans have dreams about having rich parents and relatives who would come and rescue them from foster care but because he already knew that his mother and likely whoever his father was were both already dead Martin never indulged in that. So therefore, because the universe is run by the devil and the devil is a piece of shit, it would be Martin who actually had the rich relatives.

There sure were a lot of people there at the estate and Martin wondered just how big his family was. But then it was explained to him that none of those people there were related to him, they all just worked for Martin's uncle. Besides servants and employees there didn't seem to be anyone around. The uncle rested for a moment and the lunch was served to them. After lunch the uncle asked how Martin liked everything but Martin could only shrug and say it all looked nice while he was still just overwhelmed that he was related to someone with so much money.

"Oh, but you haven't seen everything yet." the uncle replied. Then without even finishing lunch the uncle took Martin on a tour of the property so he could boast about all the great things he had such as his own movie theater, some horse stables, a mini bowling alley, and even servant quarters. The uncle's pride and joy was his museum of sports memorabilia which featured various signed balls, cards, gloves, a few helmets, some posters, jerseys, and behind a locked display case various championship rings including two super bowl rings.

"Yo, Julio." Martin's uncle called out to summon one of the higher up servants to him. "Set my nephew here up with a room."

If Martin had any thought that his life was about to be that of someone who lived in the lap of luxury, he would soon discover that he was mistaken. He was given room number 3 in the building for servants quarters. Martin was confused at first but it was ok. He stood there looking at the number on the door and his mind could imagine the number 1 after the 3 for some reason. But ok, Martin wouldn't complain. It was a small modest room and he thought that perhaps it would be good for him to live there and start to get back to living like a priest. And it still was a free bed after all so how could he possibly complain about that. Plus he knew in himself that even for a servant's room it was still much nicer than some of the other places he's had to stay in his life.

And then Marin found out that the room was not in fact free as he had thought. The head servant guy came and gave Martin the rundown of how much it would cost to stay there. Martin was confused and went to talk to his uncle about it. Rather than it being a mistake, the uncle was all positive about it.

"Yeah, way cheaper than anywhere else around here and it includes meals. Now I know you might be worried about money and all since you're kind of a broke (racist expletive deleted). But I got that covered too. I got you a spot in one of my stores. That'll be more than enough to cover your stay. You don't have to start paying until after your first paycheck."

Martin wasn't really excited to hear about all that but a job was a job and income would be appreciated. He did sort of feel like his uncle should have talked to him about this first instead of just dropping it on him.

After that Martin took a moment to explore the grounds by himself. He observed how the servants were organized among themselves with different jobs but also different status levels. It was almost like the estate was its own little town.

Back in the small modest room Martin unpacked his one bag and set his clothes into the dresser. He pulled out the black cassock he'd been wearing when he'd fled the seminary and hung it up in the small closet. Would he ever get to wear it again? Would he ever actually be able to become a priest? It seemed doubtful but then he shrugged off the doubt. He had to try and he was only at the start of his search. He'd need to start using the internet to find out where the Catholic church had actually gone.

Knock, knock.

Martin opened the door to find a young woman with Latin features standing there speaking Spanish to him. Martin was startled and could only nod politely since he didn't understand the language. She was offering him a basket with various toiletries in it. Martin thanked her and after she did a curtsy she left him. Without noticing it at first Martin watched her leave and his eyes drifted down to get a good look at the shape of her ass showing through the fabric of her dress. Then Martin snapped his head to look away.

"No." he said to himself under his breath.

Closing his door Martin investigated the basket and discovered that along with soap and shampoo there was also a price list for all the items in the basket and if the list was to be believed then Martin had to also pay for the basket itself. The total was 25 dollars which Martin didn't have at the moment.

"Patiently endure." he told himself. Then he prepared an area to pray and began to recite the office according to Pius V. As the words in Latin left his lips his mind struggled to fully understand the meaning and his mouth struggled to form the words correctly. The girl came to his mind and lingered there in his thoughts even as he tried to direct himself towards God. At times it was almost painful but he would endure and let his pain bring him closer to God.

At the halfway point he was finishing one of the psalms with "et in secula seculorum". He closed his eyes to give himself a small break. In that moment a face came to his mind. That girl again. She was likely only about 20 and she was so beautiful. He hadn't exactly picked up on that when she first came to his door because he'd been startled and hadn't understood her but the fact of the matter was she was very attractive.

WHAT! Stop that, he told himself. No temptation. Maybe she was pretty and maybe she wasn't but it was no business of his. He was going to be a priest and even if he never found ordination he was going to live true to himself and live as a priest even if he never found a bishop. Besides, he told himself that even if he did try to court her it would never work out. He was different now. He wasn't a 'normal' person anymore. All of the old things that he once did and even accepted other people doing could no longer be part of his life. If Martin did approach her there as already the language barrier which wouldn't be impossible to overcome but certainly would be challenging. If he could get past that the fact of the matter was, most women didn't like Martin. He used to have to approach many women to find just one who would also be interested in him. Sure if he approached enough women he could find many multiple women who would be interested in him but that would require approaching so many women. Just on pure odds Martin had to know that if he approached that girl and if he could get past the fact that he didn't know Spanish then it was still a very long shot that she'd actually like him. And then say that she did like him, she wouldn't like him enough to marry him. Martin had never found a woman who ever liked him that much. Also that girl might expect sex as a condition of being in a relationship but Martin could no longer allow himself to have sex with her if he was not married to her. Then say the miraculous happened and the girl did consent to marry Martin and they had sex, she was likely on birth control and Martin could not allow that. Seeing as he could not stop her from taking birth control the only way to protest would be to not have sex with her but if he never had sex with her then the marriage would be null. Then say he could convince her to stop taking birth control and she got pregnant but didn't want to be pregnant. Surely she would go get an abortion and murder the child against Martin's objections. Of course Martin could not stay with her if she killed a child but even if he left he'd be forced by the government to pay 90% of his future earning to her while he himself lived in poverty. He was used to poverty but it would mean that he would not be free to choose his work but would be forced to take more secular jobs making more money in order to donate to a woman who was a murderer.