Mary and Alvin Ch. 34

Homecoming

Hannah heard her name called and stepped on to the stage. From somewhere in the cavernous arena, she heard a shrill whistle. That's got to be Bonita, she thought. The dean held out her diploma and shook her hand. He spoke to her, but she could not make out his words over the audience's applause.

She looked out toward the seats, hoping to see her family, but she was blinded by the stage lights. Fortunately, there was an usher standing by the stairs, who took her arm and helped her down.

"I guess I'm not the first one who looked right into the lights," she said, laughing.

"Nope," he replied, "Just about everyone does."

She thanked him and found her way back to her seat, black spots still dancing in front of her eyes. When they finally cleared, she raised her gown far enough to reach into her pocket and pulled out her phone.

She texted Charlotte. where are you sitting??

Charlotte sent a message back with the section and row. Hannah scanned the crowd until she saw Bonita waving her arms and Alvy holding up a poster board sign that read "Hannah! We Love U". She waved back and faintly heard them shout her name. The rest of the family stood then; her mother and father, Charlotte and Seth, Jennifer and Danni.

She smiled and waved back with both hands.

"Is that your family?" the girl next to her asked.

"Yes, it is," she said, feeling a rush of pride and affection for each and every one of them. She looked up again. They were watching the line of graduates cross the stage. All except Mary, who was still looking down at her. Hannah blew her mother a kiss, and watched as she gestured catching it, and sent one back.

As the remaining diplomas were handed out, Hannah felt her exhilaration give over to a melancholy feeling. In the excitement of the commencement, and the joy she felt in having her family around her, she had given little thought to the ending of her time at Pitt. From her first day of kindergarten, there had been no place she'd rather be than in a classroom. She had now, in all likelihood, reached the end of her days as a student. She reminded herself that she was still going back to class, but as the teacher, and that brought a smile to her face.

The population of Maine had been growing, as more and more young families left hotter, drier states for its cooler climate and abundant fresh water. The increasing growth had cause a shortage of teachers, and she had been lucky enough to have been offered a position teaching second grade at Londonderry Elementary. At least she assumed it was luck, although she wasn't entirely sure someone, perhaps her mother, had pulled a few strings. In any case, moving back to her home town and teaching in the building, the very classroom, she had sat in as a student, would be a dream come true.

When the last graduate had crossed the stage and the final ceremonies had concluded, Hannah shuffled with her classmates out of the arena. Once she was out of the building, she tried to scan the crowd for her family through the forest of tasseled caps. Both her parents were tall, why did she have to be so short? Even Alvy, at sixteen, was taller than her now.

Between the ranks of black and blue gowns, she finally caught a glimpse of Alvy's sign. She wormed her way toward it, and he saw her, shouting, "There she is! Here comes Hannah!"

Charlotte was the first to embrace her, squeezing her tight and muttering, "I am so proud of you, little sis." Jennifer was next, then Seth and Danni. Bonita squeezed her around the neck so tightly, she couldn't breathe, then Alvy gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

When everyone else had congratulated her, she turned to her mother and father. Alvin held out his arms and she stepped into them, pressing the side of her face against his chest. Her cap fell off and Bonita picked it up and put it on.

"You had your chance, Nita," Danni laughed.

Alvin stroked Hannah's head and whispered, "I always said you were smarter than me, now you got papers to proof it."

It was Mary's turn, and as they hugged, Hannah said to her, "I wish Grandma Jean was here today."

"I know, honey," Mary said, "I do, too. But you know that she always believed in you. We all do."

Alvin and Mary had offered to buy everyone supper at a restaurant of Hannah's choice for her last night in Pittsburgh, and they had expected that she would pick some fancy, expensive place, so they were surprised when she said she wanted to go to a small downtown grill called The Three Rivers Tavern.

"Best burgers in the city," she had explained, "but the reason I want to go there is that it's right by Charlotte's office, and we would meet there at least once a week for lunch. So, it's a special place to me, and I'm going to miss it."

Hannah rode to the tavern with her parents. "It feels funny," she said, "sitting in the backseat, with you guys in the front. Like I'm a little girl again. It will really feel funny being back home in my old room."

Alvin looked at Mary and grinned. "Well, we can talk about that later," he said.

"What? Are you going to kick me out?"

"Of course not, sweetheart," Mary said.

Hannah leaned forward in her seat. "Mama," she asked, "When you finished college, did you go back to live with your parents?"

"Oh, no, honey, Wyatt and I already had an apartment, and we got married just after graduation."

"I've always wondered what he was like."

"Well, you'll never get to meet him."

"Why not?"

Mary looked over the seat at her.

"Because he came to see me before your father and I got married. And your Papa and Uncle Tim told him that if he ever came back to Maine, they would take him out on the ocean and toss him overboard."

"We did not!" Alvin exclaimed as Hannah laughed.

"Maybe not in those exact words, but he got the message."

"He been back?" Alvin asked.

"No."

"Well, alright then."

The burgers at Three Rivers Tavern were judged to be as good as Hannah had claimed.

"So, Papa," Hannah asked Alvin after she had finished her burger, "What were you saying about my room?"

He looked at Mary and nudged her with his elbow. "Why don't you tell her?"

Mary swallowed a sip of her wine, then said, "Well, we were going to surprise you when we got home, but since not everyone will be there, we decided we would tell you tonight."

Hannah looked around the table and saw that everyone was grinning. "Tell me what?"

"Well," Mary said, "We know that it's really tough to find an affordable place to rent anywhere on the coast these days, and we didn't think you really wanted to move back into your old bedroom."

"Well, it's a place to stay anyhow."

"But your Papa had a better idea." She looked at Alvin.

"We converted the loft of the barn into an apartment," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Really?"

"Yes," Mary explained, "And everyone pitched in. Andy and Danni and Theo did most of the carpentry and the plumbing, and Papa and Bonita did all the electrical. Theo and Jamie shingled the roof, and Jen and I did the painting. It's really nice, sweetie, I think you're going to like it."

"It sounds amazing," Hannah said.

"Remember when we were little, " Bonita said, "and we pried the old loft doors open?"

Hannah laughed. "Yeah, and almost fell out! I remember Jen flipping out when she saw us."

"Well, we replaced that doorway with a big picture window. The view is awesome."

Hannah felt tears in the corners of her eyes as she looked at the faces around the tables. "You guys did all that for me?"

Alvin looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Well, of course we did."

Mary took Alvin's hand. "Baby, we have to get up awfully early to get to the airport in the morning. We ought to get back to the hotel."

"I suppose so," he said, wistfully.

"We should call it a night as well," Jennifer said, "It's about an eight hour drive to Danni's sister's house in Providence."

They said their goodbyes in the parking lot. Alvin hugged Hannah and said, "Drive carefully, honey," then Mary kissed her and said "See you at home, sweet girl."

Home. That sounded good to Hannah.

***

"If we are going to make Maine by tonight, we need to get out of here and haul ass," Bonita said.

"Oh, don't be in such a rush," Charlotte scolded, "Let us say our goodbyes."

Hannah hugged Charlotte. "Thank you for everything," she said, "I really love you."

"I love you too, little sis." She kissed Hannah's forehead.

As Hannah hugged Seth, Charlotte put her hand on her shoulder and said, "Listen, Alvy's in the backyard. I don't think he wants to come out here. I think he doesn't want anyone to see he's upset."

"Okay, I'll go say goodbye to him." She squeezed her sister one more time, then stepped away. "You named him right, didn't you?" she asked as she walked toward the corner of the house.

Alvy was standing in the back of the yard. His hands were in his pockets and his chin was on his chest.

"Hey, are you okay?" Hannah asked as she crossed the yard.

He turned and looked at her. She saw that he had been crying.

"Come here, honey," she said. He came to her and she wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her and laid his head on her shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you so bad," he sniffled.

"I'll miss you too, Alvy. But school will be out soon, and you'll all come up to visit."

"It won't be the same."

"That's the way life is, honey. But you know what? The only thing that will be different is some space. The feelings don't change. Tell you what, we can talk online tomorrow. I can show you my new apartment."

He straightened up and nodded his head. "I'd like that."

"Okay, come on, say goodbye to Nita, and then we've got to get going."

"She'll make fun of me for crying."

"No, she won't."

They walked back to the front of the house. Bonita was already in the passenger seat of the car, impatiently drumming her fingers on the window frame.

Hannah kissed Charlotte one last time, then got in the car.

"Bye, you guys," Alvy said, waving weakly.

"Ask your Mom and Dad about the summer," Bonita said to him as the car started to roll.

"What was that about?" Hannah asked, turning out of the driveway.

"I told them that if Alvy wanted, he could come up for the summer and work at the wharf."

"Oh, that's frickin' brilliant. Where is he going to stay?"

"Well your old bedroom ain't spoken for, is it?"

They bought coffee and croissants at the Starbucks drive through, then turned on to the interstate.

"It's nothing but Dunkies for you from now on," Bonita said as they sipped their coffee.

"I'm fine with that," Hannah laughed.

"So, college ain't changed you into something else? You're not a city girl now?"

"Well, I mean, sure it changed some things, but I'm still me."

"Are we still us?"

"What do you mean?"

Bonita looked out the window for a minute before answering. "From the time we were born, we were HannahBonita, like it was one name. But I guess that's not true any more."

Hannah reached over and took Bonita's hand. "Why would you think that, honey? We will always be us."

"Well, there's Jamie, for one thing. You aren't the most important person in the world to me anymore. And that hurts. It makes me feel bad about myself. Like a traitor."

"Oh, honey," she lifted Bonita's hand and kissed it. "You love Jamie, but that doesn't take anything away from you and me. Your moms love each other, does that take anything away from you? Does Papa love you less because he loves me and my mom?"

Bonita shrugged. "What you know and what you feel don't always match up," she said, "Mama Mary taught me that."

Hannah synced her phone to the cars audio system and cued up a playlist. For the rest of the morning, they rolled through the hilly Pennsylvania countryside. As they sang along with some of their favorite songs together, Hannah felt the old closeness, as if she had never been away. They stopped for lunch at a Burger King on the outskirts of Scranton. It was Bonita's firm policy that when you were out of town, you should eat at the fast food places that they did not have in Londonderry.

"We should be fair to shitty restaurants we don't have at home," she explained.

Bonita took the wheel for the second leg of the trip. Hannah tilted her seat back and closed her eyes, drifting in and out of sleep to the sound of the tires on the road and Bonita humming along with the music. She was happy that Bonita had found someone to love, but there was some sting to it. She had to admit that she was a little bit jealous.

Living with Charlotte had not allowed for her to become as involved in student life as she might have if she'd stayed in a dorm room. She wasn't interested in parties, but she did miss dating. She'd been popular in high school, although no serious relationship had ever developed.

It was November before a classmate asked her for a date. He was a nice fellow, soft spoken and polite. They went to dinner and a movie, and afterwards, Hannah realized that she had been bored stiff the entire evening. Shortly after the holiday break, another classmate took her to a basketball game. She had a good time, but felt no chemistry between them, and apparently, he did not either. While he remained friendly with her in class, he did not ask her out again. It was just as well. She was focused on her classwork, and although she hated to admit it, she was a little overwhelmed by the scale of college, and of the big city. The campus was too big, her classes too crowded. It was better, she felt, to not allow herself to be distracted.

When she returned for her sophomore year, however, things seemed different. She was more comfortable in her environment and more open and friendly with her fellow students. Little by little, she became more involved in campus life. She joined a tennis club and a film discussion group. Gradually, she developed a circle of friends with whom she would sometimes sit for hours in one of the coffeehouses or diners near campus and talk about politics and art.

She did discover one solitary activity she enjoyed. As she left her tennis lesson one Saturday afternoon early in the fall semester, she had heard music coming from somewhere in the building. She thought it was a cello. Curious where it was coming from, she followed the sound until she was in front of the doors to the auditorium. She hesitated for a minute, then opened the door just wide enough to peek inside.

The cellist was a young woman, sitting alone on the stage. At first glance, Hannah thought the dark auditorium was empty, but then she saw a figure sitting in the front row, and a small scattering of listeners sprinkled through the seats. She wasn't sure if the public was welcome, but she didn't think anyone would notice her, or mind if they did, so she slipped inside and took a seat in the back row.

She had a basic understanding of classical music. Her mother listened to it occasionally, and she had learned to know Bach from Beethoven, Mozart from Mahler. But she had never been captivated by it until she sat in that dark auditorium and listened to that melancholy cello. She had no idea why it brought tears to her eyes, nor why their release filled her with an odd kind of joy. When the music ended she felt an urge to applaud, but was to self conscious to do so. Instead, she quietly slipped out of the room.

There was an announcements board near the door. She looked at it and realized that students in the music department did recitals for grades on Saturdays, when their instructors did not have classroom hours. A schedule for the next week had been posted, and she vowed to come back. The following Saturday, she heard a Bach piano recitation, the week after that, a clarinetist played Debussy. Saturday music interludes became part of her weekly routine. She brought Alvy with her one week when a guitar recital was scheduled.

As the weeks went by, she became familiar with the small group of like minded music lovers who came regularly to the recitals. She noticed one young man in particular. He was tall, and handsome in a bookish way. She would smile at him whenever he walked up the aisle past her, but he didn't seemed to notice. Then, on the last Saturday before winter break, after an hour of lovely oboe, he stopped at the end of her row.

"Excuse me," he said, "I was wondering..." He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "I thought...would you like to go for a cup of coffee?"

Hannah smiled. "Sure, that would be nice." She stood and put on her coat.

"My name is Ryan," he said.

"Hannah. Are you a music student?"

"Oh no, I go to the business school at Carnegie Mellon. You?"

"Pitt. Education major. I just come here to listen."

"Yeah, me too." He stepped aside to let out into the aisle, and as they approached the door, he leaned over her shoulder and opened it for her. It was bitterly cold out, and they barely spoke as they walked briskly to the Fifth Avenue Starbucks.

"Ah, nice and warm in here," Hannah said as they stepped inside.

"I'm from Chicago, the cold doesn't bother me."

"I'm from Maine," Hannah said with a grin.

"Touche," Ryan said, doffing an imaginary hat.

They got their coffee and found a table near the gas fireplace.

"So what draws you to the music programs?" Ryan asked.

"I find them comforting," Hannah said. "I don't feel that I need to learn a great deal about classical music, or even know the names of the pieces. I just love that there is that little bit of beauty, just behind those doors. It's like finding a rose blooming in a snowy field."

Ryan nodded. "Wow. Yeah, I like that," he said. "To me there is something mystical about the fact that composers imagined these works so long ago, and that they are brought back to existence now for just a brief moment in time, then are gone again until the next musician takes them up. I mean, it's wonderful to hear a great contemporary musician play their music, and its great that we have recordings, but that someone in a hall in Pennsylvania can channel the artistry of a German composer who lived centuries ago...it's, well, spiritual in a way."

Hannah nodded and smiled. This is off to a good start, she thought as they made small talk and sipped their coffee. When they left, he walked her to her car.

"I hope I see you after the break," he said.

"I'll see you at the next recital."

"I'll look forward to it. Happy holidays."

Hannah opened the car door. "Happy holidays to you, as well," she said as she got in.

He waved and walked away. She watched him in her mirror until he turned the corner. As soon as he was out of sight, she felt a moment of regret that she had not given him her number.

All though the break, she thought about him.

"Shit, girl, you're in love," Bonita laughed when she confided in her.

"Don't make fun of me."

Bonita hugged her. "I'm not, honey, honest, I am excited for you. It's about damn time."

"I only met him once."

"Sometimes that's enough."

"You didn't fall in love with Jamie the first time you saw him."

"First time I saw him I was fishing him out of the bay."

"Okay, bad example."

"You know who did fall in love at first sight? Your mother and father."

"Well, I don't think it's genetic."

"It shows that it's a real thing, though."

Hannah wasn't convinced. He was on her mind almost constantly, but she'd had crushes before that she'd felt nearly as strong. This felt different though, in a way she could not explain. Maybe I'm just finally ready to be in love, she thought, and maybe he's the right one.

***

On the first Saturday of January, Hannah arrived early at the concert hall. She took her usual seat and waited. She began to get nervous when the violinist mounted the stage and Ryan had not arrived.

The music began and Hannah sunk in her chair in disappointment. A minute later, though, she saw a sliver of light from the doorway illuminate the aisle. She looked up and saw a profile and knew it was Ryan.