All Comments on 'Mary's Affair, Ended'

A professional in the public school system thinking they have the right to what they want no matter who it affects. Hhhmmmmmm seems like business as usual in the administration departments of the public schools. No accountability, no moral integrity at all and no guilt at their actions. Graduating students who can barely read at 6th grade level and forget about math and science skills. As long as they can pass the standardized test, which by the way is what most students are taught to do along with their liberal bullshit......and then they are shocked that parents who do pay attention to their kids future remove them ASAP from this corrupt system and put them in private or charter schools to ensure education without indoctrination.

Just a matter of time before these assholes are found irrelevant and put out of our misery.

Well to the assholes involved in this corrupt system.....your time that started with the militants from the 60’s hiding in universities instead of being caught and made to pay for your actions. Your time is up! You should begin to pray that being removed from positions of influence is all that happens. You really would not like to have what you deserve for your actions occur. You have acted in direct opposition of the fundamentals that our country is based on. This was done deliberately and with the intention of ruining the country.

This is by definition is sedition and treason, which is punishable by death. Which as far as I’m concerned is a lenient action considering what you have done.

Good concept. The courtroom parts were very bad. You do realize lawyers prep the witnesses? Admitting to giving her drugs makes it a rape as it removes consent. Sally would have either not testified or she would have had a script to follow.

Interesting storyline. If you take the rape out of the equation in this story how would a man react to his wife cheating with another women.

Assuming the affair was just an affair would a man react in the same way as they would to an affair with a an. Would the male ego get in the way in the same way it would if it were another man. I've tried to imagine what my reaction would be but just can't.

Good story but a number of times Mary and Sally's names were transposed which was confusing.

You fucked up with Sally's and Mary's names number of times!

I think proofreading isn't your thing.

I think you meant Sally. The first story I've read today and felt like this was just a run of the mill BTB. I was hoping for a more creative approach to the topic. Still, worth 3 stars for the writing.

Original and well done. Solid 5, although I'm not sure the rape accusation would hold water.

Sally's consequences came to remind me like the massive landslide of a small town in the Philippines where in just a minutes the town's existence came to an end burying 3,000+ people alive. Sally's world collapsed fast -- and furious.

Needs a rape tag. I don't read rape tapes.

please proof read your next story

This great story had three surprises for me. First the cheating wife had the affair with the daughter's best friend, instead of the usual LW trope husband's best friend. Second surprise was the rape accusation by Mary against the esteemed professional wife.. The third surprise was the firm attitude of the judge and the cheating , rapist wife getting the harsh punishment she deserved. Not really na surprise, but I enjoyed the husband and daughter's complete contempt and rejection of Sally after her imprisonment. Great story Mr Black.

To high schoolish

Interesting story!

5

. . . when there was no evidence of such?

The fact that My continued the affair for three months is evidence that she didn’t think it was rape, but was talked into believing it was rape fur years after the fact.

Mary saved text messages for four years? That’s pretty improbable for someone who didn’t think there was any crime committed nd just wanted to get away from the affair. And we are not told what the text messages said that was so damning. Indication of an affair is not evidence of rape.

If I’m on that jury, not guilty!

Original story well done. Thanks for sharing.

Hooked

She shrugged and said: "Okay, so I had an affair with Sally. It's none of your business Steve, nor of your business, Donna.

Stopped right there. The moment a writer just has to make someone this arrogant to wind up the reader, its a dead end to anything beyond that.

Too bad, I was thinking it may get really good.

Interesting story, but a bit too heavy handed. No complexity of emotions by anyone, just boom, she's a rapist and we all hate her.

2* confusion with Sally and Mary names. Try to remember that Mary was the victim. Also your knowledge of trials is pathetic. An attorney never asks a question that he doesn't already know the answer to. The defendent would have been trial prepped and certainly has the right to not self-incriminate herself.

Now that was a story from a different angle and with a definite twist in the plot.

The story was well written, the plot excellent.

Just desserts were dished out the villain incarcerated.

Scores 5/5, the best tale thus far.

Well told, and the emotion was real and flowed with the ups and downs. A great read, thank you...

Well-written story, apart from a few name mixups here and there. Good on Steve for immediately realising that Mary was a victim and not at fault for the 'affair'. Would have liked Sally to have more of a character, she's just painted as a borderline sociopath who never shows any remorse for what she did.

A heavier tale than normal from you, quite powerful in it's telling and certainly refreshingly original. (Yes there were a couple of edit errors but it looks like poor old Randi has edited almost every one of these so she's probably got blurred vision by now) As always thanks for your work.

I always enjoy your stories and this is one of your best. Thanks for the hard work and keep posting!

Sally's lawyer would have to be a complete moron to put her on the state, and she would have to be a complete moron to openly admit that she intentionally got Mary drunk and gave her drugs, especially when there was no evidence of this.

Poor execution, edit.

Failure to develop the story and characters . Sally was a complete stranger. Was she always distant and cold. Don't even mention how dumb. This is a person with responsibilities for a whole school. Just doesn't make any sense.

A very weak effort by you MattblackUK.

This terrible story takes away from everyone that reads it 😪

Some of your stories I like and some I hate. This is one of the best you've written.

This a unique story and so much better than so many stories that simply re-tread old plot lines.

Having said that, the story did not make much sense. Donna may have been persuasive, but how could the husband act on the basis that his wife was rapist without even giving the wife to answer? The whole thing stinks. Then, why would any woman admit to anything, particularly given that there was essentially no proof and the facts were now 4 years old.

So, an interesting plot line falls apart in the execution.

Good try, but that is about it.

It got a little too cookie cutter as it progressed. And predictable.

But well written. 4 easy ****

I found it hard to believe that both Steve and Donna accepted Mary's story instantly without even confronting Sally. Steve and Sally were, presumably happily, married for over 30 years. As soon as Mary tells steve about the affair he decides it was rape and suggests that Sally probably used drugs on Mary.

Mary was in the 'rape' relationship for 3 months. She claims she thought they had an open marriage but she never mentions it to her best friend Donna or Steve.

The Sally character was supposed to be a psychologist but she comes across as stupid as hell.

I won't even get into the courtroom scenes.

Not a bad story but a little too much formulaic to give it more than 4*.

With more than a dash of preachy hysteria. In what jurisdiction would anyone be bothered to prosecute this? Loss of reputation by smear would have been sufficient.

Failure to check before submission does not improve credibility-see Lit. Submission Guidelines.

I have to admit that your story hit me really deep. How thin the line is between consensual sex and rape! I think a lot of people don't really think about that. I really liked the clear mention of the rape and the resulting consequences. A very entertaining, interesting story!

Powerful and unusual story, I think Sally got her just desserts. Well done.

No way this is rape, but the author was so intent on bringing it on, that evidence and facts were invented to support the charges. You don't snuggle with a rapist and continue to see them for months. And ecstasy wasn't mentioned until the husband guessed that it was used which led to an invented admission that was written in to save the rape focus. This was a focused seduction by a skilled, sleazy seductress. But it isn't rape. It is however, scary how so many readers believe that it is.

For the first time, I'm of the same mind as ReedRichards: it's very hard to believe this was rape. Sounds more like the Politically Correct crap being spouted by man-hating feminists. The affair lasted for months, for gods sake!

Why, if she gets drugged at the house, meaning she was sober when she woke up the next day and sober on her way to meet her friend's mother for more sex, why did she keep going back???

I guess women NEVER mature to where they're responsible for their actions? LOL

And mom never would have testified that she drugged her lover. That's just... silly. No way would her lawyer have allowed it.

The other thing that seemed unbelievable was that dad and daughter absolutely HATED her for what she did. I mean, immediately hating her. No sadness, angst, or grief over the breakup of the marriage, seeing your mom go to prison, etc. Just hate.

And this male ego thing again. Really? It's always the man's ego that's a problem, NOT the cheating and manufactured rape, just his ego. Believe it or not, men AND women both have egos, so why is it always the man's ego that's so tragically fragile?

I thought the story was very amateurish . Expected better. 3 stars.

I APPRECIATE YOUR CONTRIBUTION, BUT THIS WAS KIND OF PHONE IN

You have a peculiar focus in your writing style. Lots of irrelevant and innocuous details, plus almost robotic personalities of your characters.

So Sally is a monster, a rapist, has no morals, ethics, or scruples, is completely arrogant, guiltless, and deceitful. But the husband and daughter who lived with her, interacted with her on the most personal and detailed level of life and discussions and behavior, they had no clue their mother was criminally evil, or mentally irresponsible. Does that seem unlikely to anyone else? How shallow, tepid, and distant must those relationships have been?

The whole story was so devoid of normal human behaviors, instincts, emotions, interpersonal discernment and subliminal communication, that it begs the question what planet these people are from. The daughter's BEST friend is in turmoil and mental distress while fucking the daughter's mother, but the daughter notices no changes in her friends personality, behavior, attitude toward her or her mother, nothing? OK, maybe on Mars.

Yeah, its all just too nonhuman to be interesting or engaging. Who the fuck knows or cares how Martians live their lives?

But thanks for the effort. Next time apply the skill and imagination that you have amply demonstrated with other stories.

As someone said the characters were a bit flat, but it must be admitted that to fill them out would have taken at least another page, or about 40% more writing. And as you get no monetary compensation for this, thank you for your time.

The mother seemed to capitulate on the witness stand rather too easily. All the questions a lawyer uses to tangle and trip up a witness are nothing to a trained psychologist. She should have thought of that in the fly, or at least sitting in bed at night waiting for the trial. Maybe a super smart lawyer could verbally spar with a smart Sally?

Also, after Mary’s mother died and Sally said the Mary could consider her as her mother, WHY did she seduce/rape Mary? Was she always this calculating and cold? Had she always harbor fantasies about Mary (at least once she was old enough)? Or did something happen to Sally that triggered a psychological shift in herself? All sorts of possibilities there.

To me, the way it is, it’s a 3-star story. If filled out, and depending on how well it’s done, I could see a 5-star. But, because of the novelty for me, I upgrade a 3-star story into 4-stars.

Matt, the story is written well and I like the overall premise. That said, the rape aspect of it killed it for me. It's over the top social justice warrior nonsense. Is Sally a conniving bitch of a character? Yes and no. Was Mary raped, criminally? Absolutely not and to me it's an abuse of our social conventions to redefine rape in this manner to satisfy a never ending victimhood society. Sally was a consenting adult UNLESS we want to start stuffing a lot of horny young men in prison for being the seducing, manipulative cads they can be when they succeed in stuffing a young lady's panties in their pocket and scoring one right in the deep pink.

Men and women, of legal consenting age, have been playing this deceptive game since Eve fucked around on Adam with a snake of a creature. Mary, a troubled young woman was manipulated into pleasure and came back for more. She got mad when she realized she was played. At the end she had to be convinced by a father figure who was himself manipulated the young lady into agreeing she was raped.

No, the husband is the bitch in this case.

That said, I still rated you highly :)

I have enjoyed your other work, but this story missed the mark. First, the whole concept of rape just does not work within the context of current law. Further, to have a husband, daughter and law enforcement all move with such rapid speed, after a few discussions is unrealistic.

Then we have the mother being so narcissistic and amoral, yet neither her husband nor daughter has any idea of who they are living with? The story would have been more effective had you developed the character of the mother first, and had some examples of how/why here family were so unsuspecting> Otherwise, the reader does not really care, no emotional attachment means you really don't love, hate or care what happens to them.

Further, the story had some of the right elements, but they were buried with so much extra verbiage and detail that I really had to struggle to finish.

"If I ever found out Steve was cheating on me, I'd cut his balls off!" - Actually, depending on what kind of rules are established, you can have an "open marriage" and still cheat.

/

She wasn't raped.She was seduced and lied to, but she could have said no and left at any time. There's no proof of any drugs.

/

"I suppose I was fortunate that Donna was very understanding about my revelation that I had found her friend attractive." - Why wouldn't she? Presumably she knows her friend is attractive.

/

"Why? Because it's an airtight legal document." - Why is his prenup any more airtight than any other prenup that a judge could throw out within minutes?

/

There seems to be a continuity issue: "Her own mother had vanished from her life when she'd been a child," and her father got cancer when she was a young teen. There were a couple of times where it was said that her mother left AFTER the cancer diagnosis, but unless we want to call a young teen a child, she left before the cancer diagnosis.

/

I can't believe that Sally would admit to so much that couldn't be proven without her own testimony.

/

He guessed that she would try to brazen it out, but never showed how she did that.

/

"But please do be aware that I am going to give careful consideration to all sentencing options, including some jail time. " - No, I didn't think he'd carefully consider all options.

I liked how the story completely diverged from the cheating wife templates. The divorce was a footnote. He didn’t even consider BTB, or reconciliation. And the victims healed and advanced their lives.

The rape, conviction, and offenders registry are all realistic and appropriate.

I think it would have added depth and emotional impact, if there was attention paid to how Mary’s relationships with Steve and Donna changed since her return; and how Steve and Donna’ relationship changed as a result of Sally’s actions.

This is one of your best. Kudos!

This one was a little off the mark for me. I'm fine with playing loose with the legal issues the story brought up. They're just elements to increase the plot tension. I'm also fine with the timeline feeling so unrealistic. Although not specifically delineated the process felt really accelerated.

What really stuck in my mind is more mundane. Where did the story take place? Kent was mentioned, which I assumed was the county in SE England. Meanwhile the characters interacted with the district attorney and county sheriff, which in my mind assumes somewhere in America. This confusion was incredibly distracting.

Annon, you misread the story. The hotel was called The Kentish Hotel, there was no mention of the county of Kent, or S.E. England. There's a Warwick Hotel in San Francisco, but it's not in Warwickshire. And there are several Kentish hotel in various parts of the world, but none in the USA, which is one of the reasons I chose that name for my fictional hotel and fictional hotel chain.

I was expecting a lot of other victims to come out of the woodwork. The story gave off the vibe that Mary wasn't the only victim.

I do like how the husband was reasonable but when she wasn't he let the lawyers go for broke.

Agree with FullyLoaded, I woudn't have been surprised if Sally had been seducing young women for years.

I can't fathom how can a mother rape her daughter's best friend of many years. She gets what she deserves. I would like to see how Sally's life is like post prison

While I found the rape charge to be far-fetched, the aftermath was just ridiculous. Six years in prison and she got nothing from the divorce? Really? And then the mysterious, over-the-top ending. Donna is dating the husband and her Father is dating the wife? How fucked up is that???? This was simply a train wreck.

**That was bad storytelling. Sorry

Great BTB story. She deserved all that and more punishment. Well written and a reminder, that what comes around, also goes around. Thanks for this story.

Author decides to see how stupid the plot can be and still find somebody broken enough to like it anyway.

Why do these crazy lw authors always write to give the wife the house? That is just totally stupid nuts. In this case a house worth 4 mil? Nobody does that, just idiotic. A most unreal and poor effort.

WOW! Something very rare, a story that makes you cry, and want to cheer for those who stood up and helped the victim.

Excellent story. The "t's" crossed and the "i's" dotted, with the predator getting what she deserved.

Several have already pointed out courtroom errors.

But what really got me was in the space of a few minutes Steve went from a loving husband to a disgusted accuser without ANY hesitation. Someone he was close to, but that he hasn’t seen in 4 years, who left under mysterious circumstances, totally switched over the love to hate on a woman he has loved for +25 years. No questions asked of his wife, and without doubt enough not to call law enforcement before talking with his wife. It actually sounds like he had one foot out the door already and was looking for an excuse.

This is like one of those cases where we criticize the wife for tying the husband into a chair, then fucking several of his best friends in front of him, because of a couple of grainy photos of hubby getting a lap dance at a party. We go “How can she do that to him if she really loves him??!! How can she do that without talking to him first? She claims she loves him, then why not give the benefit of the doubt, until she finds out otherwise?”

Of course in our stories it always turns out the pictures were photoshop fakes, or he was drunk out of his gourd or drugged. So we say he didn’t deserve the sharp accusation or rough reaction. In this story the gender role MIGHT be reversed (until we find out otherwise). But when Mary first comes to Steve how are we, the reader, to know what is true? What if Mary’s accusations turn out to be “manufactured false memory” by the therapist she had seen? Helped create the reason for her obvious mental trauma as PTSD from rape? With just Mary’s say so, we have no real clue.

What if Sally totally denied anything untoward happened, and it turned out she was right? Where does that leave husband and daughter in their relationship with their wife/mother? No, the emotional turn around by both Steve and Donna was unrealistic the way it was portrayed. Again, in the same way we are incredulous about wives totally believing their husbands cheated on them with very flimsy evidence.

~~~~~~~~~~oooOoooOooo~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, and sort of disgusting the dirty-old-man thing. He had known her since she was four, and had been sort of like a daughter to him to, as well as she’d been to Sally. WTF is he lusting after her body when she’s 18y.o.? No mention of that being bad. Unless he had designs on Donna’s body too?

Yuck!!!

Excellent

People like this really exist. But now she is where she belongs. Fucking cunt.

Fivr Stars

er

Five Stars

If this was a US trial, Sally was an idiot for testifying, and her attorney was negligent in allowing her to do so. Under the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution, she could not be compelled to testify, and in this case, doing so was nearly suicidal. However, having once choosing not to testify, that silence goes both for prosecution and defense.

.

Great story.... as always!!!

I still have to ask if someone could be married for so many years and not know what their spouse was capable of. Such sexual predation would surely be a form of mental illness. And the husband wouldn't notice? The wife would have to be a very good sociopath.

Complete and utter nonsense.hardly rape on the evidence stated.She never said no.

Hmmm! Some just criticisms , but considering the great plot and great characters still a 5.

A few answers. People underestimate the power of sexual temptations and how lowering inhibitions through alcohol and other drugs destroys common sense. Who knows what evil lurks in the human mind. To say that the husband should have known her psychological weakness implies he had the power to know the future.

The Hoary Cleric, guest on Literotica.

I agree with etchiboy 100 percent. If I was to write a review that is what I would have said. Hero is a asshole.

"Mary looked smug. She obviously felt she was going to get away with it." WTF? How does the author get his own characters names so grotesquely mixed up? That almost killed it for me. The story had a lot of holes in it, not the least of which was the improbable dialogue between the opposing parties at the lawyer's office. In spite of these faults it was an enjoyable read overall.

A smug, self-righteous prig of a husband, a delusional sociopath of a mother, a vindictive daughter and a ludicrous plot. Competently written but nothing else to commend this story.

LA

Entertaining, original story. Thanks for writing it.

Ed

The lesbian rape twist was the only notable aspect of an otherwise average date rape drug story. Ho Hum. 3

Weak

Other than mixing up the names of the characters not a bad read

There we no mixing up of character names. At least not in this story!

Sorry Mr BlackUK, I suggest you read the story again.

Amongst several careless mistakes, may I draw to your attention :-

Approx 2/3 down Page 2 :-

******

Then the defense called Sally to give evidence. She was given soft questions about how the affair had started, how long it had progressed, and so forth.

As the defense attorney sat down, Mary looked smug. She obviously felt she was going to get away with it. But then the DA arose.

"Mrs. Walker, when you targeted Mary Jones for your seduction, why did you do that?"

*******

It may have been missed by your editor, but mistakes like this mess up the whole story.

Exactly what is "gay on gay sex crime" ?

I wanted to add...through this story, you portrayed the "God Complex" we all hear Doctors have quite well. The feeling that they're above everyone else, know best, have little to no accountability for wring doing or deserve any comsequences.

Good job on that

Not your best work. Families don’t disintegrate that fast.

Still a great story, still 5/5

She shrugged and said: "Okay, so I had an affair with Sally. It's none of your business Steve, nor of your business, Donna. We were both grown-ups, and we had a grown up adult relationship. It didn't affect our life, Steve, so why are you so upset? After all, the affair ended four years ago."

Tried a second go around and still this part was so fucking cliched I still couldnt force my way beyond it. You're lucky so many really will applaud just about anything.

Usually I am a fan of your writing but this....nah, I do have some degree of taste even in LW stories.

Damn that's was good. 6/5

Nato_

A rather strange story, makes a change for a woman rapist, quite a cleaver story line

It was good. And I understand the disgust we feel towards sexual predators like Sally.

But what strikes me is the husband, not one single time, reflected on his soon-to-be ex-wife's blaise attitudes towards cheating on him. Yes, rape is vile. He should be disgusted and outraged. But he should feel SOMETHING with how his own wife didn't once say sorry or show any remorse at all. It was reptilian.

There are plenty of people that rape. They are not always monsters. They had a moment of utter weakness and did something they can never take back. It sometimes haunts them. That's not the rapist you described in this story. This rapist doesn't care...AT ALL about anyone. I can understand her lying, back peddling, and minimizing to a point. Everyone hates to admit they were the bad guy. But it's not an act with her. It's only barely about self preservation. She GENUINELY seems to feel nothing to those around her.

I feel the author missed a chance to explore:

1) Either the ex wife is a sociopath that is incapable of true remorse or love. That would have been fun to explore.

2)Or the wife was a monster once or twice as is in some weird psychotic dissociative break from reality. This would also be so much fun to explore.

I'm not saying the ending is bad, just rushed. Loved the story. I'v met real life sociopaths....and they are scary. You'll never a met a more energetic and charming liar. A liar that wouldn't hesitate to gut you. And they do appear harmless. They really aren't mean looking and disgruntled. It's smiles all the way. All the way until they kill someone or something. In my case...they killed the neighbors cat for being slightly offended by the neighbors...and stuffed it in their mailbox. They BRAGGED about it too. And it was said....very casually. No passion. It was like they told a story of flipping someone off in a car that had cut them off. They were officially diagnosed not long after.

What an selfish, inconsiderate, unempathic, sociopathic(?) piece of crap this so-called woman was. I hope she gets the child abuser treatment in prison.

Hard story of a screwed up wife and i would have checked for other affairs!

5 Stars on a powerful story . She is a Rapist and 6 years in jail with inmates who hate Rapist .

Very good storyline, the langague was not quite "gripping" enough, though, so 4*

The prosecutor's offices in your stories need to hire some better ADAs who at least have passed the bar, and are aware of the 801(d) hearsay exception for things such as the statement of party opponent.

I'm an electrician and I know that I could have defended the mother and gotten her off with the only evidence of any wrong doing being just the girls memory. Why would Sally admit to drugging the girl with no proof, a woman with her education would have known there was no way to prove any forced use of drugs was involved. Mary admitted to finding it difficult to sneak around and not get caught by the daughter and husband which means she was compliant and a willing participant in the affair. In fact, by sneaking around and willfully hiding the relationship she did her part to ensure the affair continued. A he said, she said scenario would have never gone to court in the first place.

Bi-curious for just three months? Nah she probably tried again with someone else serial cheater. It was a flimsy case against her but texts and photographs were mentioned but not directly linked to the rape. OK she blew her own foot off in Court mentioning illegal drugs but still very thin.

Difficult subject.

Bold approach. Missed the landing.

If the victim was under the age of 16 then its my opinion the sentencing would've been appropriate.

However, she was 18, and she still a had a choice considering she was the one to break it off, and she also continued to see her on her own accord.

Whats interesting is the reason for the guilt and shame she feels, is it because she was vulnerable and she was taken advantage of by someone of the same sex or is it because of the guilt she feels towards the husband....

Although she mentions the latter, I can't help feel it's because of the former, being because it was of someone of the sam gender.

Powerful piece, and an original approach, but I have to agree with a lot of other comments that it doesnt quite land right. Im not sure if you're uninformed, overly optimistic, or just naive, but if you're going to write a story involving a rape trial, you should really read up on them before you do. Sadly, rape is a notoriously hard crime to prosecute, and in the real world, 4 years after the fact, no physical evidence, only the victim's word to go on, and with a massive elephant in the room (the 3 month affair) to cast doubt, chances are this wouldn't even have gotten to trial let alone gotten a guilty verdict.

I truly admire what you were aiming for when you wrote this, rape and sexual assault needs to be discussed more openly so that victims don't feel as "guilty" coming forwards. I've been on the sidelines watching a friend go through it happening to them, and I'd like to think I helped in some way getting her to the point where she felt comfortable coming forwards and reporting it and then supporting her afterwards. What I remember most about that time was her insisting that what happened was "normal" and that regardless "you didnt talk about it" after it happened, so I truly admire your attempt to normalise the discussion by making it part of your story, but to make it worthwhile, you need to do it right. Sadly this wasnt the right way.

3* You write well, but the way you handled the subject matter in this one just falls flat.

It seems some readers forget that this story takes place in a jurisdiction designed by the author. It follows laws of his design, not necessarily the same laws we are bound by. Remember, these stories are FICTION.

Good story but sadly a woman would never be sentenced. There was a case in England where a med student stabbed her boyfriend/fiance and the judge found her not guilty to protect her being a doctor. Women are never sentenced to anything like 6 years for rape she would have gotten probation at worst