All Comments on 'Matrimonium Interuptus'

Really good but not sure how the images of her orgy will ever leave his mind. Still 5 stars for great writing.

4 star for implied thresome if it little bit descriptive it will be 5 star good story good that you're writing again

what happened to the teacher?

Not sure about the ending section but otherwise excellent. There are some loose ends (e.g. Rachel's future) but I don't need them tied up as they are marginal to your main story. I did like the way that you led me to expect Rachel to end up with Steve - and I'm pleased that she didn't. Thank you for posting it.

A very well crafted story that was an excellent read. Thank you for the characters you created.

Continue to enjoy your great works. Keep them coming.

Rachel seemed like an unnecessary character. Almost like since it was preordained that Steve would get back with Kathryn for some flimsy reason about love, there was need for another woman to be shown up for a narcissistic twat.

Lots of twists and turns. As others have pointed out, Rachel was a strange addition to the story and was was left a loose end.

Rachel was used and discarded...by the author. Not cool. I mean, I know she's a petulant bitch, but she still deserves a decent arc.

I don’t know whether the story has accidental gaps or they occurred after portions were cut out. Good tales and characters but there is a whole lot of hangers here.

Thank you, an enjoyable read.

I'm not sure if the comments about Rachel have any merit, for me she is a perfectly acceptable part of the story and how Steve came to be seriously injured.

More importantly, she is the device the writer decided to use, it's his story, his call.

Thank you, well worth the read.

I wouldn't call two weeks of sex a mistake

Rachel explains why someone with Steve's obvious experience and knowledge of the outdoors could be so seriously injured; he had to be attempting to rescue someone seriously stupid. She was also a bit of a red herring, because in a typical LW story, Steve would have somehow broken through her wall of stupid and she would have become his next romance.

An enjoyable story, certainly worth 5 stars. That said, the "I nursed you back to health after your crippling injury" reconcilliation hook is pretty played out at this point.

Entertaining story.

Desperately in need of editing.

A good story. Steve was too perfect, though. D

Really great story!

Awesome!

But ... what happened to Rachel??

I enjoyed the read. Thanks for your time and effort... Slick742

I got to page 4 and got ridiculously frustrated with the awful grammar. You desperately need some help. Do you proof-read? Obviously not. Most of the comments from readers say that the story is good, so I'll give it another try. But get some help.

Very good. 5 stars.....Rachel who?

Really not very good. Long, drawn out, rambling, and disconnected. Awful grammar and spelling errors.

Normally don't like reconciliation stories and have only written one that included it. But this one was different, much better than most. My only serious disappointment was Steve fucking Nora, even if they thought it was for a good reason. That made it a 4 for me instead of a 5. Not suggesting you ignore comments about grammar and punctuation, but don't let it discourage you. You're a good story-teller.

You know, it wasn’t flawless and the BTB crowd are likely giving it 1s, but I liked it The whole judge thing if he had “adopted” her was too contrived, it may have added to the length of the story but I would have taken a different route. Maybe have her taking a job out of town/country due to her misconduct? That still leaves a path back. 4.6*

An interesting story. 5*

I started reading this because of it's high score.

I can't believe it!

The editor should be defrocked as well.

I got through nearly 3 pages but found I just could not take any more of the appalling grammar, stupid mistakes, and woeful ignorance. (eg, "the judge denied contact with Miranda" - was he the long time care giver, or was he insanely violent and Miranda in jeopardy? (The answer is the whole of the story to that point).

I'm a Brit. We have an expression:- Total Bollocks!

The writing is more than a bit rough, it does not feel edited at all. The story also had twists and turns that felt contrived and not necessary to the development of the plot line. I am afraid I feel the story is over rated. Very average.

Sorry, didn't read your story at all- spotted the "reconciliation" flag in the tag box, in the nick of time! So I thought it must be a very NICE story, for fans of "recon" stories, of whom there are plenty on this site, I know. I just wanted to reward you for your honesty and transparency, so rare thesedays in writers of this genre, so thanks!

4, above average. Definitely felt a bit rough in places and the story lines kinda meandered at times (the stuff with Rachel being dropped part way through despite her being set up as a major character, almost seemingly a love interest). Overall though a nice reconciliation and like the bit with Noa and Patricia. If this wasn't a reconciliation story I might have thought Steve would have gotten with Rachel after a bit of "shrew taming" or Noa but the reconciliation worked.

That was a lot of story. I tend to think that the duration of a divorce should relate to the magnitude of the cheating before reconciliation is possible. This seemed right, but if ever someone created her own divorce, it was her.

Decent story, but it should have ended after the two reconciled. The part with impregnating Noa and Patricia was a gratuitous add-on that detracted from the main story. Also, Rachel rather disappeared after being virtually slapped around by daddy. That story arc either needed to be expanded upon or deleted with Steve’s injury coming from some other source.

Love the story it all came together very nicely

This was well done for the most part, but I have absolutely no clue why Rachel was in this story other than as a slap at privileged people.

Would have liked to hear about what happened to Rachel. At least seeing the Ex have to explain why he divorced her to see her reaction. Also she should have been named Porsche or Mercedes because her personality fit it so well and always laughed whenever a selfish rich chick had a stupid name like that . And I was sort of confused about Steve's situation. At times I got the sense that he's almost sort of a Tony Stark type character that devoted himself to being a stay at home dad. Hyper competent at everything he does. But at others he's dragged down to mortal status. I was honestly expecting he was going to end up being some major industry figure one of the CEOs in the story knew. Like the guy telling the son that the woman he got to cheat was married to a major patent holder their company relies on or something similar from Rachels Dad.

Anyways good story. Not a fan of reconciliation but you showed pretty accurately how it can be done. Force them into a position where they have to be near the cheater or even better, need to rely on them such as being injured. Have them forced to take powerful opioids while they win them back. And then baby trapping them to finish things off.

A good story; but too long. What happened to Rachel? 4 stars.

I usually detest Disney type endings. This one was quite well done. Five stars.

Nicely done for the most part. As noted by others, Rachel served no purpose other than her hand in the accident. That could have been done another way. Maybe a sequel to give her closure?

Story in itself was decent, but I found it to be way too much over the top to fully enjoy it. I almost stopped reading when the guy still drove the kids home while bleeding out. Yes, you wanted him to be hardcore manly McMan, who's impervious to pain, super intelligent, and a muscular adonis. But... seriously? Who the fuck starts driving around with teenagers he supposedly cares for, if he feels dizzy and lightheaded? You just kept giving him personality traits that contradicted each other.

I also did not enjoy how, the longer the story went on, the more typos found their way into your writing. And I don't mean that the total number increased as the word count rose. I mean that it seemed like your editors just gave up trying to finish it themselves.

And I'm really not sure why this was even posted in LW. She cheated. It was mentioned, not described, and done and dealt with by the end of page one. Then followed six more pages of a romance story without much sense. The focus was clearly not on the wife's extramarital affairs. You just used that as a quick plot point to make the guy more sympathetic.

I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but the woman spent months/years disregarding and belittling him, then spent two weeks having an orgy with her coworkers, but the only reason he divorced her (knowing full well he would lose the daughter, despite her being the most important thing in his life) was the fear of her being with someone else. And then they come back together with little to no build-up or explanation.

And what was the whole spiel with Rachel? What was that character's purpose?

All in all, entertaining but somewhat unsatisfying. 3/5

Well done! Thank you!

Don't write about law or medicine. You aren't even close. Is English a second language for you? It's bad, really bad. I don't usually care about this stuff, but there was a lot I just couldn't understand. The basic story was good, just write what you know and make it coherent.

This was a good read.

A tad too long, especially the monologs, and Steve had god-like status.

Otherwise I enjoyed it.

"Give it to me lover boy. Extinguish my inner fire with that hose of yours. Fuck me into oblivion." Seriously?

Great story!

This was good, I continue to enjoy your stories!

In my opinion, the ending wasn't as strong as the rest of the story; the MC having a kid is a bit of a trope here on lit, but I felt you worked it in nicely. But the lesbian couple asking for a kid didn't seem to fit as well.

Thanks for writing!

Of course the same idiot who would risks his life for that absolute c@nt also gets back with the train pulling hoe. Typical.

I hate Disney stories and this piece of shit is exactly that.

The handsome prince is beset by the evil wife and overcomes all odds to. Not only survive but thrive in the face of adversity, winning the praise and admiration of everyone.

Not only did you write Kathryn to be a mental moron with the intellect of an ant; but you made her a fucking pussy. Boo boo, my daughter blames me for everything and I’m mentally exhausted and punishing myself by being tired.

Fuck that and fuck you. People cheat, they divorce and they move on. And Steve? He’s a great example. She cheats and he turns into a hardened shell of a man, no empathy, only work. Fuck hom. Boo hoo, my wife cheated on me so I’m going to be miserable and not trust any women anywhere because I was cheated on.

Anyone that stays with a cheater that treats them like that will always boggle my mind. Yuck

Ok story, but you need an editor for multiple typos and mistakes (wary and weary, for example). Also, A man with two broken ribs and a ruptured diaphragm could not possibly drive for three hours; he’d be lucky to make ten minutes. And a judge may have awarded custody to Kathryn, but she could have let Steve see Miranda any time - Kathryn kept him from her, not the courts.

Way too long.

A good story, well told. There still is the question of why she cheated or what happened to the nasty teacher.

interesting and winding story but with characters created then left out of the final closure of the telling.

Not quite my cup of tea, but cleverly done how you mask the RAAC by inserting Rachel as a potential love interest in the middle part of page 2 of a 7 page story where the reveal and divorce happened on the 1st page. The last page with all that free love going on had me hoping the author wouldn't make it any worst by writing a incest scene in there as well. So thank goodness for small mercies.

Very nice and well-written story. I thought it kind of petered out at the end.

Ed

You get all five stars because I pay for entertainment

Why would the divorce have necessitated cutting off contact with daughter? If Mom had truly been so remorseful, she wouldn't have acted that way. The judge wouldn't have just decided it out of the blue, so it felt very contrived.

Compliments for your excellent command of the English language. Only few small errors ("from" instead of "about" or "of") hinted that you are not a native speaker. Myself, I will never reach that level.

As for the story, I sneaked to the last page to find out wether it was BTB or reconciliation (bad habit of mine!). Driven by couriousity how in heaven you would get those two together again I read through this long story and wasn't disappointed; the outcome is believable.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Did Dr. Albertsons have a sex change?

Four stars, for a tale well told. However, you could use the services of a good proofreader. There were far too many unforced errors usually wrong words (chance should have been change, etc.) Also, you had numerous sentence structure issues. Other than that, not a bad tale, ignoring plot holes including whatever became of Rachel. Did she ever grow as a person?

JPB

I liked it.

I wanted to like this, but entirely too many inconsistences, errors and fabrications. No child calls their parents by their first names, also no judge refuses custody or visitation unless the parent is in prison or a clear danger to the child's well-being. Also, you made it seem like Miranda was a child, yet she was also a assistant school principal? A lot of this made ZERO sense. I understand that English is most likely NOT your first language, but the use of an editor and proofreader would do you wonders.

3 stars. Definitely, a fantasy RAAC. Story holes big enough to drive a bus through.

This was good, but Rachel and her father's involvment didn't make that much sense

Was striving for 5 in the early going…..dropped to a 4 in tne middle….and crashed to a 3 with tne loopy ending.

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Setup was good. But then the divorce happened in a blink of an eye with zero confrontation — and then a judge goes rogue and denies Steve access to Melinda? And later we learn Kathy didn’t want that? Yet absolutely no explanation.

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Post divorce we jump almost 2 years ahead and Melinda not doing good…so ex in-laws get Steve signed up to be her guardian? WTF? And THEN story goes off the rails. The bitch school “mentor” is introduced….and for what? But she is used as a plot device to get Steve injured so that girlfriend and ex wife can “rescue” him. But girlfriend only wants sex from Steve…not a relationship. But wait! She’s a latent lesbian! Who later hooks up with Steve’s friend! Meanwhile, Kathy manages to reel Steve back in! But wait! She’s OK if Steve impregnates the lesbians!

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Sorry…but this plot just became a huge mess in the second half of the story. So it averages out to a

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3 ***

This is just awful. Loose ends every which way, all over the place, stodgy writing at best. I can't count the word error, participle, and tense-agreement problems.

Very nice, thank you. 5+ stars

I disagree with many of the comments below regarding Rachel. It was necessary to replace Noa as Miranda's mentor with a less involved person to allow her to fully spiral out of control and force Steve to be allowed back in her life. Besides her eventual role in getting Steve hurt so that Kathryn could benefit from the Florence Nightingale Effect, she also served as a nice red herring as I'm sure that many anticipated him taming the wild beast that she was. Heck, I was one of those who expected she would stagger from her flooded tent and end up naked in Steve's tent needing his body warmth to survive...

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No, the character that I think was mishandled in the story was Rachel's father. That was a needless subplot that didn't really add much. So, he now has a part time job we know nothing about and didn't have any impact on the story? Yes, I know that it was intended to tie up the loose ends with Rachel, but I think it failed overall as it left more threads than it tied off.

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Actually, I think the judge was also poorly portrayed. While I have no doubt that many a judge has denied visitation to a (step)father, I've never heard of one doing so without a request from the mother. It just didn't fit with how it was described that Kathryn handled her side of the divorce. Also, it is mentioned later that he had adopted Miranda, so he would have had the same rights as a biological father would, so the "not actually the father" bit was not actually the case. Yes, I know, plot armor...

Kind of okay. Others have made the point about Rachel. There’s also the judge’s decision cutting Steve out of Miranda’s life. That made no sense on any level. Then there’s the sappy sexual sharing at the end. Totally unrealistic. It’s a good way to destroy marriages.

Very good, A new favorite of mine.

reading these stories is like reading a form letter.

I loved Rachel's presence and found her bitchiness to be the perfect foil to get us to accept Kathryn's redemption.

Just would have liked a bit more of what happened to Rachel later... perhaps a follow up story?

The two biggest problems in amateur writing are hyperbole and overwriting. Hyperbolic characters and action are what results from everything in drama, being a cartoon, either by design or through execution. There's no longer any nuance. I didn't like Steve because the only people that perfect have serious personality issues: sociopathic or over-compensatory. Maybe both.

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The scene on Bird Island was just unbelievable because they were so obvious, and how did they NOT see everyone running around with a telephoto of about a zillion millimeters focal length? Why make it so obvious? Reduce some of the other scenes and expand this one. Create some tension and conflict in other spots.

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The overwriting is because you have no editor or a weak one who says, "Tha's cool, Braw!" Editing is collaborative, sometimes contentious, and always necessary. A large part of this story went adrift with details that didn't add to the story.

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Everyone's reactions were predictable, which doesn't make for a good story. If you read enough of these cheating wife stories, they all have the same plot, the same characters, the same language, and the same tropes. Yes, there will be similarities due to the limits of the LW category but dare to get away from the easy, lazy writing techniques and write some conflicted characters. Include some dead ends that make MC doubt what he knows, or thinks he knows. The highlight of this story was when the mother-in-law told the 14-year-old Miranda to back off her mother a bit. When that's the most memorable part of a story, you're in a formula-induced rut.

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You're a great storyteller but stretch yourself. Avail yourself of some of the tens of thousands of writing improvement resources.

I agree, great story. Too bad Miranda wasn’t present to witness the conceptions.

an illiterate author is bad enough, but a RAAC too? oh, hell no.

The medical parts of this story (the shock team and shock room!?!) Were so bad it made my eyes bleed.

The teacher seemed like she was going to get a big part but was essentially killed off. I'd imagine the author might've wanted it to go her way at one point then at the last minute, made it into a RAAC story. Too bad the teacher didn't get a chance to find out who Steve really was and get humbled.

Great story! I really enjoyed it! DerMtMan

A rare really well written cheating fairytale, with an unbelievable ending RAAC, but ... this time well deserved and justifiable. A good plot, with many twists, not filled with useless filler just to make a tale longer. Very much different from the usual cheating tales, with some content belonging to other categories: lesbian, fetish-cuck and fetish-cuckqueen. All in all, a well balanced, not boring just-sex tale, with a good realistic plot, even though too much fairytale in the end. So, 5+ full stars. Good job.

Excellent story and worthy of 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Very well written Josh.

Good until the very end with all the Poly stuff. That seemed over-the-top and out of character with the rest of the story. I would have ended it with the reconciliation. Just saying.

Not very well done. I commend the author for trying but much of the writing is stilted and awkward. The entire sub-plot of Rachel was a distraction. Yes, I understand that the author needed an excuse to throw the MC and Kathryn together so they could reconcile, but the Rachel story line seems particularly forced and badly contrived. And why do so many writers in the LW category make the husband the paragon of all virtues and the straying wife the slut of the world? Steve is portrayed as a faultless genius with all the attributes women supposedly want in a man: sensitive, caring, loving, great with children, brilliant, devoted, hard bodied, a big dick that he knows how to use. So why does she cheat? Because some rich asshole puts down her husband for supporting her work ambitions so she turns on hubby and fucks the boss? That's it? Really?

Maybe an interesting story would be the seduction of Kathryn and some explanation as to why she would whore herself out and betray a guy who is literally the best husband material ever. But as presented in this story, there never would be a reconciliation since the only explanation would be that Kathryn is a mindless slut who never could be trusted not to cheat again.

So, a very pedestrian story line that has been done here thousands of times. Kudos for the author to have the courage to write and publish this story, but 3*** for a tired-out story line with cardboard characters and awkward writing.

Mediocre. Not sure what the point was of the camping story.

In reality she neither respected or loved him. She proved it. Why would it be different this time.

How could judge forbid contact? Can't do that. Makes no sense.

Where was story supposed to be? If usa too many terms were incorrect. Trauma not shock team. The way you referred to teachers and principals is incorrect.

We're getting along quite nicely and I know you love me, but I'm damaged goods now and have trust issues. And no, that's not all your fault."

How is it not all her fault? Completely her fault.

Nicely done. Hartelijk dank.

Your English is quite good, but the story would have benefitted from another pre-post read by a native English speaker. There were a number of little things amiss, but the thing that distracted me was your referring to Miranda and her friends as “children.” She was about sixteen and, in the US at least, we would have referred to her group of friends as “kids;” “children” would generally be younger than teenage. (There are exceptions. If you ask someone if they have “children,” the answer would be “yes,” even if those ”children” are now adults and even parents themselves. Languages ARE complex!)

Again, bedankt.

See, SEE? The whore fucking around just made the relationship and the marriage stronger, eventually. Try it at home, and let me know how it works out for you.

\

Actually, if the whore is really rehabilitated and the stupid cuck doesn't have any better option, why not? What has he got to lose? They didn't even need any counseling. And the whore was still a promiscuous slut until she got the phone call about her stupid cuck needing her. He's getting what he's marrying, so he deserves whatever he ends up getting, even if that is screwed over, again. Its like living with a time bomb. Hope he enjoys it.

With.all due apologies sir, you are trying too hard. It just got utterly ridiculous. I couldnt finish. Too unrealistic. I like your writing style, but you need to live in reality. I will watch for new stories on hopes of progress. Still giving you 5 stars because feedback needs to be encouraging. There is a great story in you, this just wasnt it.

I am sooo very glad I only skimmed this pathetic piece of shit. Yeah, grammar was atrocious and premise is not believable at all. He's got 2 weeks of her being screwed over ad over and all he can come up with how much he loves her? Bullshit.

A very long and tedious read. Sorry but I had to bail on this convoluted tale after about 4 pages. The author insisted on detailed dialogue concerning unimportant details. This extended the story considerably and contributed to the story flow being interrupted constantly. No score because I couldn’t finish it

This story is a prime example of why you can’t judge a story by its score. I guess a lot of the readers on this site aren’t too discerning. This was so monotonous and filled with errors. The author seemed to wander off on different tangents.

Started skimming once it was clear the plot was not Steve finding a new love but another story of a cuckold reconciling the town cum dumpster.

Would have been more creative story if Steve had refused the request from Kathryn’s parents to meet with them and Kathryn to save Miranda, stating “I have a court order to stay out of her life. If Kathryn needs help then she should call her rich fuck buddies.”

Only part that I liked was Steve making sure Kathryn kept her job thus saving himself alimony payments.

…shortly thereafter Steve was named the first living saint and is now an advisor to the Vatican.

Just wore me out reading it, couldnt get past page 5...

Kinda dropped the Rachel character in the middle there. Not that she deserved any better.

There are too many loose ends. What abot Rachel? Did she suffer? Did Steve climb again? Is it an open marriage now?

You guys sure do like to paint with a wide brush. There is a very big difference between a cuck who is disrespected, abused and lied to and a man who is able to forgive a remorseful and truly repentant woman. I wonder if you will have the same black and white perspective of no tolerance, no grace, no forgiveness when you are standing before God in judgment.

It's a good story, but I'm not convinced. What happened to Miranda's father? And if she was 'pining' for her lost love, what was she doing in bed with her latest one-night stand?? This broad is a cheater looking to happen. But as a guy, I can't complain too much at having been given a cornucopia of sexual excess- even if only one time. It was only one time, wasn't it?? Steve was a stand-up guy with good friends. But still just a guy. SO...... 3 stars, the Bear liked the sex parts. Try again. Your writing is good.

The BEAR

I liked it. The lot's of detail in the story telling. However, reconcilation stories don't fair well here. That said. 5 stars. Looking forward to more from this aurthor.

Excellent story...

...5 stars is a no-brainer from here.

Enjoyable story!

5

I really want to know if there is a redemption arc for Rachel.

Five stars thank you for sharing your talent with us.

This was a good story in spite of the horrible grammar. I'm glad that I stuck with it but it wasn't easy. Usually, when the grammar is this amateurish, the story is bad as well. Thankfully, that wasn't the case here. I would say you need better editing, but it isn't right to blame the editor because the editor would have to change practically every sentence in the story. You really need to learn some basic English writing skills to go along with the good story telling.

4*. Would have been 5 except for the Rachel loose end.

Yes, it was disappointing to have no follow up for Rachel, but I guess she served her purpose in getting the hero in hospital. If he had already adopted the daughter, I don't see how the judge could have stripped him of his parental rights. Still, I gave you five stars.

She treated them badly for months and then left for a two week orgy vacation. Hard to get past that to the RAAC.