Maximum Badonkadonk Ch. 15

"Gene."

"Maybe you should call your father; he didn't pick up last night. There's opportunity to get in front of things before your mother speaks with him also. You take care of yourself." I had a newfound respect for the man when I probably should've given him attitude for stepping in as a surrogate parent in my mother's stead.

"Thank you sir." We shook hands. He gave me a pat on the back before walking down the hall to disappear into my mother's bedroom.

I sat down on the edge of my bed with a stinging cheek. The dishrag left a welt, but the damage ran much deeper. Eventually I closed my own bedroom door as softly as I could feeling like that would make me small enough to disappear from my mother's eye's. They left just under thirty minutes later. I could hear my mother's luggage and hushed talking before the door front slammed.

Then I broke down.

It was mainly a culmination of things, but more towards recent events and the end of my relationship with my mother.

"Hey man, ain't nobody trying to take her away from you; I just wanna say you didn't have to get my mother involved." I made the call two hours later predictably getting Mr. Van Allen's voicemail.

Most of the things I wanted were already packed up with the boxes provided. Most of my bedding was in the wash, I'd decided to pack it into a box and mark it if my mother wanted to toss it in the trash later. I knew he wasn't involved but thought this was a good opportunity to prod him out into the open as my phone rang.

"I would like you to know that I am considering removing her phone for the time being."

"Ah, let her keep it; the damage has been done already. I'm being evicted."

"You probably wouldn't believe this but I'm very sorry to hear that; I could make a few calls on your behalf, if you like?"

"I'll manage, but just tell me something Mr. Van Allen; does your wife mind sharing you?"

"You know I can't answer that, but I had to do something so I got our daughter involved."

"Inserted is more like it right?"

There was a long pregnant pause as I continued packing up.

"You don't understand what we have; no one could understand least of all my wife. We're in trial separation and I'm just gonna let her have whatever she wants in the divorce. I regret using you, but initially I just wanted information. It was your decision to do everything else despite the fact I was helping out with your imprisoned girlfriend. You weren't thinking straight."

"Are you thinking straight right now?"

"It's not that simple; hell man you've been with her! It's fucking incredible and there was no way I could let that go after all we've shared over the years."

"Mr. Van Allen, what do you think's gonna happen next? You can't control her like Yoli, and you know it."

"She's exquisite." He pressed growing more emotional as the conversation continued.

"You know you can't keep her, right? Mr. Van Allen, she used me and the other guy to finance an escape from you. How could you get your daughter involved?"

There was another long pause on the line as he mulled over my thoughts.

"I love my daughter."

"Sure you do."

"You don't understand."

"Don't give me that shit, I fucked her too; I think you know that and it burns your balls Mr. Van Allen. I liked your daughter, too."

"Look, I can help you find a nice place if you want. You can't imagine how much good you've done for us. In time Renee will come to appreciate the role you unwittingly played in keeping us together." He was full on monologuing bordering on a rant.

"You're welcome."

"Her pussy gets so wet." Mr. Van Allen ended the call abruptly on that awkward note having unwittingly explained the dual motivations of himself and Renee.

All this time she'd been trying to escape him, not her obligation to Yoli. I wondered how he was able to keep himself emotionally contained considering the details of my coincidental relationship with his lover.

I'd been one hell of a stalking horse destabilizing her finances and severing her ties with a potential replacement sugar daddy. My android chimed with a few thousand bucks sent out of guilt at his part in jacking up my life.

What both of them didn't know was that I'd become a quick study of infamous baby mamma number two, and now Mr. Van Allen.

There was still more left to do as I glanced at the contents of the white plastic bag I'd come into the house with this morning.

I dialed up Jaquan.

"Hey, what's up cuz?" I was heartened to know he didn't know about Porsha's incursion to my home. Jaquan would've led with that. I think my mother was too embarrassed to gossip right away.

"Just checking up on you; I was worried Renee might've taken your daughter away by now."

"No she's still here with me and mom; they talked on the phone last night. I don't know what you did, but Renee says she's willing to give me back my parental rights. Guess we owe you a bit of thanks for that, huh cuz?"

"Man, that's okay for now; I'm gonna be moving soon, getting my own place and uh, well I bought little Daisy something the other day. Maybe, you could come by for a minute and hang out?" It wasn't a question even though I framed it as such.

"It's still, going on, right?"

"I wanna see Daisy; if you trust me."

"Okay, I'll drop by around two and maybe we can fire up that grill in your backyard too."

"Sounds great."

We hung up as I continued packing up noting the rebounding karma that assailed me and his infamous baby mamma like a rabid game of tennis. There was no doubt I could've finished things if not for current events. I'd been blindsided by Mr. Van Allen.

I mustered up the courage finding only three of the files on my compromised laptop remained. I guess my mother tried to erase everything before having a parental meltdown of the highest order. Nothing was actually compromised as I noticed my hiding place for Renee's cloned desktop was undisturbed.

I'd had three actual laptops sacrificing one to stick it to Renee in front of her side guy Adil.

There was no way she could keep him from posting her image on his social media which in hindsight was a mistake on her part. It alone gave me the information I needed to pop up at a fateful moment. He was intent on shoehorning this woman he really knew nothing about into his privileged life.

I checked it again, finding the page set to private.

I decided to visit Shawnee's page finding no new pics of her, just point of view stuff of places she was visiting and things she was doing. The old content was there if you patiently scrolled down, but she'd amended the information adjacent to her thumbnail saying "No New Bookings" taking herself off the market.

I felt a twinge of pain realizing that part of my karma came from the fact that I'd brought her into Renee's circle. Besides me, she'd taken the most abuse as her new mentor "found herself" in no uncertain terms.

My new site was doing fine running with not much input. It was a turn key operation bolstered by all of the new content I'd shot since being expelled from Renee's inner circle. With the addition of my day job, I wasn't actually hurting for money. It was more emotional than anything as Renee made good on her ominous assertion that I'd eventually have to chose between the two worlds. I'd been slingshotted with Porsha Simms as the unexpected return shot in our psychotic war of the roses.

"Huh, what's this?" I found an unknown file on my desktop I hadn't noticed before. My mother's attempted mass deletion of my files left it exposed. I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. The folder was just marked New Folder AA and nothing else.

I clicked it.

"Hey man, you gotta a microwave burrito or something, I'm hungry?"

"Shut up!"

"I owe you one."

There she was on my laptop screen sitting at my desk filming herself while I was visible in the background, open bedroom door making her some dinner in the kitchen microwave. Her intense beauty and facial resemblance to Eva Mendes beauty mark and all there before me along with a glint in her eyes.

She glanced over her shoulder oozing mischief then fidgeted in her chair quickly turning about mounting it on her knees. Her shorts were yanked down quickly exposing her huge partially tanned butt to the camera on my laptop. The silent twerk lasted seconds.

Then Vickie righted herself while I was in the background taking her food out of the microwave quickly leaning into the frame.

"Now you don't need lite-brite." She looked way too pleased with herself positively beaming with a twinkle in her eye.

I slammed my laptop shut hunched over my desk.

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Jaquan popped up at my backyard with his little girl finding me sitting in a lawn chair reminiscent of the last time we saw one another. I was surprised to find Rashida in his company as well. She was dressed rather conservatively in a pink hooded tracksuit and sandals.

Daisy was wearing her own little tracksuit with her backpack attached. I noted all three were holding hands as the toddler disengaged walking over on my left side while my cousin and Rashida appeared at my right. I exchanged glances with him as he noted the two empty beer cans and the half full one in my grasp.

"It's that bad, huh?"

"I'm moving bruh, but first I just wanted to hang out for a minute." I glanced over finding little Daisy Kelly staring me in the face. Her diminutive resemblance to her mother was beyond astounding despite her fathers nose in the center of her face as Rashida spoke.

"Hey, it's all good and everything with me so you ain't gotta worry none. I'm gonna get a room at my cousin house in a few days, so we good. Uhm, I think I even gotta job at another salon too."

"Well this is cause for celebration, perhaps we should have a drink together."

"I don't think so." Jaquan looked stern prompting me to open the cooler at my side revealing a number of sodas and some assorted juice boxes mixed in with my beer.

His features softened while Rashida chuckled.

"Where's my present?" Daisy asked almost devoid of emotion.

"He gonna give it to you baby; we talked about being nice, didn't we?"

"Yeah, but I don't really gotta listen to you anymore. You a substitute, that's what my mom said." I raised a brow at her vocabulary range.

"BUT WHAT DID I SAY?!" Jaquan cut in irritated with the diminutive clone.

"I was just saying what momma told me on the phone; I like Rashida cause she makes my hair pretty. You said I have to listen to my parents; ain't momma my parent? Didn't I come out of her belly?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"If I came out of her belly, don't I have to listen to her first?" Daisy countered.

"You know what I mean little girl!" My cousin huffed.

"Okay daddy, you are just telling me that right now when momma is not here cause she in the hospital, right? Should we just call her with my phone and understand it better, daddy?"

Little Daisy Kelly was holding her pink backpack like a purse casually unzipping it removing her phone.

"I know you didn't!" Jaquan half bellowed making me interject.

"YOU GUYS ARE WAY TOO FUNNY!! LITTLE DAISY IS WAY TOO CUTE FOR WORDS!! Hey man, I got some links in the fridge, it's a bit much so can you guys help me out?" Rashida knew what I was doing tugging on his arm a bit. Daisy was staring back at her father with a static expression that should've been alien for a toddler, unfazed.

"Alright cuz, but we gonna talk about respect later Daisy."

"I'll help you out with that, just show me where the fridge is, okay Jaquan?" Rashida was trying to extend an olive branch between father and daughter.

I was happy when he left the yard with her grumbling under his breath. He knew what he had on his hands with a child that had been raised to see her mother as his superior. I turned finding little Daisy Kelly staring pointedly at my face at bit closer than expected.

Her own sharp green eyes were faintly disquieting.

"Oh yeah, here you go baby." I reached down into the plastic bag at my side handing her a stuffed toy. It was one of two things I'd bought. It was a plush funny looking creature with a nice tuff of fur covering its body and the tip of its tail. There were soft horns on the toy's lion-like head.

Daisy took it with authority staring bluntly at it like I'd given her a piece of coal, but then wrapped her arms around it in a deep hug against her chest. The sneer on her cute little face was hard to ignore.

"His name is Gibbles." I added noting the name on the toy's tag.

"I don't like that name; I'm gonna give him a better name."

"Like what?"

"What do you want?" Daisy asked without hesitation.

"I wanted to give you something nice; you don't like it Daisy?" She pulled the plushie away from her body holding it with both hands looking at it, arms extended before hugging it again. The little girl ruefully swiped a juice box finding a seat opposite me in the only other chair on the grass. Her eyes bore into me giving nothing away.

"Why are you sad?"

"Ask your mother." It just slipped out of me before I had a second to check myself but she didn't bulge or betray any emotion. She took a long drink from her juice box then regarded the toy before looking at me again.

"I know what I'm gonna name him." She said tapping her foot to some tune only she could hear.

"What?"

"Adil." I started coughing profusely setting my beer down to thump my chest until I cleared my pipes. She sat there watching me still tapping her foot as I realized this little girl was more than she appeared.

"Hey Daisy, you're really smart, aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Kind of, like your mom right?" I inched into it horrified at what she'd say.

"Took a test one time, they said I'm a 130; so that means I'm better than you."

"Does Jaquan know?"

"Daddy don't need to know that cause he ain't like me and mommy; he's just, daddy. Now you, might be a little smart too, but we got 277 brain points together so you can't be better."

"I think your daddy would love to know how smart you are Daisy."

"I know daddy just likes having a lot of mommy's and you know it too. That's why I have two houses and maybe three someday. What do you want?"

She took another extended slurp finishing the juice box then for the first time since we'd met, little Daisy Kelly smiled ever so sweetly at me. I knew I was being trolled by a toddler.

"Do you really talk like that?"

"Well if I were to start vocalizing in my normal voice everyone would freak out and uhm, probably call an exorcist. I'm reading somewhere below 2000L but not by much, and pretty much the same mathematically. Tell me, are you splitting the atom in your head now, or are we getting to the point?"

"To be honest, uh I think you do need an exorcist."

"Maybe that's why she likes you; because you're so funny."

"This is crazy man, Jaquan is gonna freak out."

"Is he gonna freak out because I'm a genius, if I let the cat out of the bag; or is my daddy gonna beat you up again for trying to use me against my mommy?"

"Palaver?"

"What do you think we're doing right now, and you'd better hurry up while daddy is playing with my dumb mommy." She still sounded like a toddler, but I was getting whole Chuckie vibes from our interaction.

"I wanted to take a picture."

"To get to my mommy obviously, but what's the catch?"

"All you have to do is hold what's in this bag." I picked up the plastic bag I'd bought into the house earlier in the morning removing a white box which I placed face down.

Daisy leaned forward tossing the plushie on the lawn staring at the front before regarding me with a half smirk that was way too reminiscent of her infamous mother.

"This supposed to be funny?"

"I got nothing to lose, really little Ms. Kelly. So I don't care if "daddy" beats me up and puts me in the hospital; I want your mommy to rise up and stop playing hospital. You're the only person that can make her show her true colors when she doesn't want to Daisy."

"Okay but use my phone instead."

"Why?"

"I'm only gonna let you use it once, and you might show it to daddy to save yourself from another two piece. When that happens, I'm not going to be there with a cookie." Daisy slid off her seat handing me her phone before holding the box up facing it with a smile.

I took the pic.

"Give me that phone; I'll do it." She snatched her phone back working her fingers at blurring speed before turning its face about to show me what she'd done.

The photo depicted little Daisy Kelly holding a home DNA kit with "Does He Know?" written underneath.

The mature expression and half smirk on her face belied her age as my phone began ringing incessantly. My little cousin snagged another juice box as Jaquan and Rashida approached. She also snapped up the doll cradling it to her chest.

"Where are you right now?" Renee's voice was ice cold.

"Home, are you ready to bring me the one I want?" I asked watching her genius level daughter climb back into the chair.

"I'll see you, tonight." Renee hung up leaving me to ponder what I'd unleashed. I quickly hid the kit in the plastic bag placing it under my seat.

"AW, LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY GOT SOMETHING NICE, HUH DAISY?!!"Rashida appeared holding a box from my bedroom containing some condiments and a few odds and ends from the fridge. Jaquan had a pan of prepared links and half a chicken that I'd bought from a corner store along with drinks. Little Daisy Kelly sat in the plastic chair in front of me knees drawn up cuddling with her toy.

"Yeah it's real nice, I'm calling him Mr. Van Allen." I shot her a look still weirded out at her hidden aspect.

"That's a strange thing to call a cute little monster like that, ain't it?" Rashida was talking to me, but Daisy piped up cutting us off.

"DADDY I'M SORRY FOR BEING MEAN!" Jaquan stopped in his tracks looking affected at the apology out of nowhere. Rashida was similarly distracted by her innate cuteness as the toddler raised her arms wanting to be picked up. He put the pan on my table picking the sneaky moppet up in his muscular arms.

"Daddy loves you, but you've gotta mind me too besides your mamma; we're equals." I was sure only I noticed Daisy roll her own slanted green eyes glaring down at me.

"Daddy he's sad, can we get Rashida to be his substitute mommy too?" Rashida cooed going over to my cousins back to give the little girl a peck on the cheek. I stood up never taking my eyes off Daisy.

"Too late, I'm her daddy already." My hand was planted square in the middle of Rashida's famous badonkadunk. All of us were laughing in moments, but only two of us were really in the know.

"Alright cuz, watch it; and since you up; go get my baby's tent out of my trunk."

I took his keys walking out of the backyard pondering Renee's reaction to her daughter's text knowing I'd already fired a shot at Mr. Van Allen. He seemed intent on controlling her even down to her environment, but I'd thrown a monkey wrench into things. There was no way he'd want to let her leave that secure apartment, but infamous baby mamma number two was gonna walk, no doubt about it.

"HEY!!" I found Rashida right behind me alerted by her palm slapping my butt with a loud clap. She was grinning like a jackal.

"What you up to this afternoon?"

"Maybe I should ask you that; did you two bang in my crib?"

"Come on man, what kind of girl do you think I am, huh?" There was a bouncy playfulness to her that I attributed to her status with both me and Jaquan. We'd kind of reassured Rashida of our mutual friendship jointly and independently.

"Did you two bang in my fucking house?"

"Well, uh kinda like second base below the waist." She admitted sheepishly as I opened the trunk finding a folded tent. Rashida pulled out an accompanying tote containing Daisy's toys. When she bent over into the trunk I had to fight the urge to slap her monster butt. We were visible from the backyard.