Meeting a Woman 02: At College

While they were still embraced, he told her he needed to tell her something. She said ok. He said when he woke up this morning that his hand was on her breast and that he didn't remove it right away. He did want to move it but was worried that she would wake up when he was taking his hand off and think that he had done it on purpose. He just wanted her to know.

There he goes being such a sweetheart again. She said that she already knew because she had woken up in the night and noticed it. She tried to describe her rationale for it. She said it was intimate without being sexual and that she put her hand on his to keep it there. She said she didn't want him to do it on purpose, but it had happened while they were sleeping so she wasn't mad or thinking he was trying anything. He said the explanation of being intimate without being sexual was the exact way to describe it. She told him thanks for being honest and telling her.

She hated herself now. She waited for as long as she could. It felt so good being there, but she had to pee very badly. He released his hand around her and she quickly got out of bed and went to the restroom. He took his turn when she got back. When he returned she had layered up her clothes again and was getting his and her breakfast snack out.

```````````````````````

He teased her that she had made breakfast. That got him his smack in the arm and a smile. She asked if they were doing more Nakita. He said that sounded great to him.

They watched one episode and then decided to call their families. They went to separate sides of the dorm room to try to get some privacy.

She wasn't sure if now would be a good time for her father or not. He answered on the 2nd ring and was so pleased to hear from her. She immediately started telling him about the heat being out yesterday and about her and Joey's conversation this morning. She sounded a little distraught and said she was so confused. Here was this great, sweet guy and she was in turmoil. She didn't want to go back on her promise to herself but she did see something in him.

Honey, you need to talk to him. Think of how much restraint he has shown toward you. He had you in his arms for two whole nights and hasn't made any move on you. Think of how much respect he has for you. He said he wasn't trying to encourage or discourage her from seeing him. She just needed to be honest with Joey so he could make his own decision about them being almost friends, friends, or more. She told him that he always made so much sense to her. You boiled down everything in a few sentences that she hadn't been able to put her arms around for the past few months.

He asked what her plans were for the rest of the day and she said they were watching La Femme Nakita. They started yesterday and had made it close to 10 episodes of season 1 so far and would probably watch all day today.

She asked him if it was wrong if she hoped the heat wouldn't be back on tonight. He just laughed a little and told her she had to talk to Joey about it. If she needed to talk, please call him. Even leave a long message if he couldn't make it to the phone. He wished her a Merry Christmas and said he needed to get going. She told him she loved him and Merry Christmas to him also.

Joey's conversation was much shorter. He hadn't mentioned any of the details of the camping trip or about last night to anyone, so he just said that one of his classmates and he were going to watch a TV show together all day. They made tentative plans to get his tickets changed in a couple of days to still come out and have a belated Christmas celebration. He was looking forward to it.

`````````````````

They got back into the show and watched until they both were hungry for lunch. They had their sandwiches and chips. Not the best Christmas lunch menu, but they were both enjoying the company.

By dinner time they had finished season 1. With that cliffhanger, they couldn't wait to start on season 2.

They microwaved their pizza rolls and hoped for the best. They would have been better had they been baked, but it was better than nothing.

They watched several episodes of Season 2 and she was starting to get cold again. She looked at him and asked if they could go to bed a little early tonight. He joked and asked, a beautiful young woman just asked me to go to be with her and I'm supposed to answer like I have a choice in the matter? She smiled and she gave his arm another slap.

He continued teasing and asked what the rules were for tonight. She didn't bat an eye and told him that he was only allowed to poke her in the butt and lightly grab her breasts, but only if he was asleep. He busted out laughing and then she joined in. It was the most they had laughed with and at each other so far. That was a good one he told her. Yes, it was she told him acting like she was being snooty.

They got ready with the nightly restroom routine and she beat him to bed again. He was pretty sure she was doing that on purpose so he would have to climb over her. He didn't mind at all. He tried not to let his eyes lock onto hers. That first time he almost couldn't restrain himself.

When he got almost in the position he asked her if she had a preference for one arm or two arms around her. She said she like the one arm around her that they did last night. He said it felt more intimate that way for him and was hoping she liked it also. After she got all snuggled into him and his arm was tight around her, she gave him another kiss on his right arm and told him good night. He did the same kiss on the top of her head and said the same to her.

```````````````

They slept the whole night through. No word on if he got any breast grabbing in last night. He couldn't remember if there had been. They didn't say much, just laid there in their embrace. He was hungry but he was going to go without food for as long as it took to keep her in his arms. She had to pee, but the same went for her about not moving or saying anything so she didn't have to give up this comforting feeling.

"Nic?

"Yes, Fi."

"You called me beautiful last night."

"I did."

"Why?"

"Because it is true."

"You believe that?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die!"

"Nic?"

"Yes, Fi."

"I have to pee, but I want to come back into your arms, ok?"

"Yes, Fi"

`````````````````

They both took the time for the morning routine and he grabbed an almost unopened box of granola bars and snuck back in bed before her this time. What was he thinking? Idiot! She soon joined him.

He brought one of the bars out from under the blanket and somehow opened it up without getting crumbs all over the bed. He broke a section off and brought it up to his mouth with his left hand and started chewing. When he was almost finished with that bite, he broke off another piece and started to bring it back to his mouth and she blocked his arm.

You know she said, if she were to break off the pieces then his arm could stay around her. He thought that sounded like a good plan. So she took the piece in his hand and brought it to her mouth and started chewing. When she was almost finished, she broke off another piece and brought it to her mouth again. He cleared his throat and she giggled. She said, oh did you want more?

He asked if she was ticklish. She froze and said, you wouldn't dare. He told her he didn't see where it was forbidden in the rules. The rules stipulate that there could be no boob grabbing if he was awake. There were no rules that prohibited tickling so it must be allowed using standard deductive logic. She asked if she fed the Big Bad Wolf if that would keep him calm. He said he would be willing to try.

They finished that package and two more before they had had enough.

``````````````````

They must have laid there for another 2 hours at least just relaxing and enjoying the intimate embrace they were sharing. The heat must be fixed because they could feel the temperature rising.

She asked if they could have a serious talk and he said that would be fine with him.

"Nic, I must tell you that I find you very handsome and that I'm very attracted to you. I've purposefully tried to keep my distance from you because I made myself a promise before coming to school here that I wouldn't have any relationships my freshman year. I find it hard to be just friends with you because I don't think I could keep my promise if we were friends. I don't think I'm strong enough to stop my feelings for you from bubbling up to the surface."

"Nic, I'm still a virgin and I've never had these feelings for anyone before. I'm scared that I'm going to mess up. I don't mean to tease you or give you hot and cold signals. I've never done this before so it is all new to me."

"You show me that you care for me, I see it in how you treat me, the respect and restraint you have shown me while we've been in bed together, you've watched out for me on our hiking trip, and the little things like changing the sheets for me two nights ago so that I had fresh sheets to sleep in."

"I'm telling you all of this Nic so that you know my heart. So that you know I'm not trying to be cruel or a tease. I don't know how to be your friend right now Nic because all I want is to be with you and be much more than friends."

"I've been talking for a while Nic. Help me understand where you are at please."

"Fi, I've liked you from the first time I saw you outside our advisor's office. I didn't know what liked meant that day, but I knew you were beautiful and that after a brief conversation I wanted to get to know you better."

"Since then it has been a stop-and-go fit of whether I'll see you or will be acknowledged as being on this planet. When you take the time to have a meal with me or walk with me somewhere, it just makes my day."

"Somewhere along the line, I knew I was starting to develop real feelings for you. Love is a strong word and I know I don't have enough experience to understand what that is just yet, but I know I like you more than a friend would."

"When I'm around you I have these feelings that are coming out of me that I don't understand. It is like an instinct that I've never tapped into before. I've never felt like I needed to protect someone like the feelings that come out of me when we are together. I'm not trying to sound macho or anything or that you can't protect yourself and I have to do it for you because you are weak. Nothing like that."

"When we were on the hiking trip, I enjoyed showing and helping you with whatever tasks we were working on. It felt like somehow when I showed you something, it was pulling us closer together. Like it was forging a bond between us."

"Fi, I'm a virgin too. I've had my opportunities living in a small town to not be, but I've chosen for it to be with someone that I care about in a committed long-term relationship and not in the back seat after prom. I'm not saying that I want it to be you, but I see something between us that leads me to believe that it could be you someday. That brings so much joy to my heart."

"I agree with you when you say that we can't just be friends. If we are that close, then I will be hurting if we can't be more. I've been hurting when I don't see or talk to you for a few days. I know you aren't trying to make me feel that way. I'm just being honest with you as you were with me."

"I'm not trying to give you an ultimatum. But I think that we are on the same page. If we are friends then we need to be together as boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever other terms we want to substitute for it. But you have made a wonderful, thoughtful commitment to yourself, for all of the right reasons before coming here. I think it was a very smart and mature thing to do. I won't ask or try to get you to change your mind in any way on that. But I can't continue to be on this unintended emotional roller coaster."

"Does any of that make it understandable or did I just ramble?"

"Nic, you made perfect sense. I've struggled and now I know that you have struggled as much or more than I have. I'm sorry for inadvertently hurting you. You know that wasn't my intention."

"I don't know what else to say Nic. I think I should probably go."

"Fi, why does it feel like we are breaking up when we weren't even a couple?"

"That will be a question that haunts me for a long time Nic. I don't want you to Nic, but can you let me go, please?"

"Yeah, sorry."

She got out of bed and started collecting her things. He got out of bed also and tried to look around to make sure she hadn't missed anything. When she got to the door she turned with tears in her eyes and asked if she could please have a hug, a real hug before she left.

He walked over to her and bent down and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He put one hand around her waist and the other around her back.

Her crying turned into sobbing. She hadn't cried like this since her mother passed.

He was crying tears that he had never known before.

He stood up straight and she came up off the floor with him. The emotions were coming stronger for him as well. He moved forward so that he could put her back against the door and lean into her to make the hug even stronger. He needed to feel closer to her and more pressure would help that.

They hugged and cried together for a long time.

She felt she had got it out of her system for now. Oh, there would be more to come for sure, but for now, it was all out.

He let her down gently and they just stared into each other's eyes.

"Nic."

"Fi."

"I should go."

"Fi, if you ever need anything, you get caught in a rainstorm in a bad tent, your heat goes out, I'll be there for you. Just let me know. If you change your mind in the future and I'm already with someone, and I know this will sound selfish, but if you come to me and let me know you are ready, I will drop them and come to you. I feel this in a way that I can't explain. Please tell me you will come to me if you ever change your mind Fi. Please promise me."

"Nic, I can't promise you that. Not in my current state of mind. I know there will never be another like you Nic. I'm not saying it is 'No' forever, but I can't promise you that it will ever be 'Yes' either."

"I know"

She pulled him in for one last hug. He kissed the top of her head. She pulled him down and kissed his cheek, stepped away, picked up her stuff, and walked out the door.

`````````````````````

In four months, he had found the woman of his dreams and had also been crushed. He didn't blame her or he wasn't even mad at her, he was just sad. He couldn't tell you much about what happened the rest of the school year. He was incomplete inside.

They saw each other often, would say hello, and even had to work together on a few group projects but never any more than that. Both could see the hurt that still existed for the other. Both wished they could somehow help the other.

The summer flew by and before they knew it, they were back on campus. This year they were in different dorms. That helped reduce the number of times they ran into each other. But being in the same major, they did tend to still have a similar class schedule.

He wondered what this year would bring. If she would come to him after completing her relationship-free freshman year. He waited on her for several months and decided she must have moved on. He never lost those feelings for her but realized that he needed to let her go and move on with finding the right one for him.

She was hoping that he would come to her. She knew that it was her that had ended their relationship before it even started, but she was hoping to see any sign that he was still interested. She never saw the first sign, just his hurt.

Before too long, she noticed that he was starting to hang out with some other girl. She was happy for him in some ways but it just amplified her internal struggle. That should and could be her with him. She didn't hate the girl, she was just jealous.

By the time he figured out that the new girl wasn't the girl, he ended things with her. By that time it looked like Josephine had started to date. Why would she be dating someone else if he was right here? He couldn't understand.

The cat and mouse game continued until graduation. Being polite and friendly, but never mean or vindictive seemed to be both of their mottos.

```````````````````

He would call Mr. Monk several times per semester to get advice or suggestions on what courses he should take or what direction he should take his degree after graduation. Mr. Monk was always supportive and never once asked him anything about his daughter or their relationship status. He was as professional as a professional could be.

As graduation approached, Andrew knew he shouldn't be meddling, but he just couldn't help himself. He knew those kids should be together. He could hear their misery when he spoke to each of them. He honestly thought that Joey would be a great fit in his company, so he encouraged him to apply for several of the open position they currently or would have open by graduation.

He was phone interviewed for two of them and those didn't go anywhere. But there was a third one that had him do two phone interviews and then an onsite interview. He got out of class on a Friday afternoon, got to the airport, and was in Florida by 7 pm. His interview would be at 8 am the next morning. He interviewed in front of a panel of four people and he wasn't aware if they knew his mentor was the owner. He hoped he would get the job on his merits and for no other reason.

After the interview, he received a text from Mr. Monk asking him if he was available for dinner. He certainly was and was excited to get to see him again. He only got to meet in person the one weekend of Thanksgiving his freshman year. Seems like so long ago now.

Mr. Monk picked him up at his hotel and they went to the club where he was a member. Joey was completely out of his element. Mr. Monk could see that he was very nervous and looked at him and told him just to be himself, he couldn't be anyone else. Joey took a deep breath and relaxed. Mr. Monk asked about other job opportunities and he explained that his uncle had put in a good word for him at the company he works for back home. He had several other resumes out but no work just yet. It was still early so he wasn't concerned yet.

Mr. Monk also told him that if he wanted to use him as a reference he would be happy to make that happen. He also wanted Joey to know that he didn't influence the decision to interview him at all. As far as Mr. Monk knew, there wasn't anyone that knew of their friendship. That meant a lot to Joey and he thanked him for conducting himself that way because he did want to do this on his own.

"Well, that concludes our business discussion for now Joey. Hopefully more to come on that. Now I'd like to move to a personal matter if I may?"

"Please."

"Joey, it's been 3 1/2 years since I've seen my daughter happy. Can you tell me why?"

"Well sir, I think it would be best if you asked her directly. I'm not sure I could tell you why, because I don't know the answer myself."

"That's what I was afraid of Joey. I don't mean to pry, but I would like to help if I could but I don't even know where to start. Can you tell me how you two left things?"

"Sure. I assume you knew about the heating incident in the dorms our freshman year?

"I do."

"Well, after those two nights together, where again nothing happened, she asked if we could talk. She shared what she believed her feelings were for me at the time and how those conflicted with the promise that she had made to herself before leaving for school. She said she would not have a relationship with anyone her freshmen year."

"I also shared what my feelings were at the time and said that I also couldn't be just friends with her because if I was that close to her, I would have to be more than friends. It would have to be boyfriend and girlfriend because I just wouldn't be able to contain myself otherwise. I'm a very patient man Mr. Monk, but I'm not perfect and I would have failed her trying to be just her friend."