All Comments on 'Melvin's Magic Love Juice Ch. 01'

Hey good story keep this going. and have Melvin use women as sex slaves while the witch uses him for a sex slave.

make Melvin *lfuck* the witch

Liked the start to this story. Great character build up and lots of promise for the future. By the way what's that witch's address? Keep up the good work looking forward to part 2.

Don't leave us hanging, you've got to do a follow-up soon. Great beginning can't wait to see where you take it!

....., you did end it too soon. You could've at least given us the satisfaction of: A)having his bitch boss being told to lick his ass-crack, B)having his ex refall in love w/him & then see (reading) her get told to eat his toe jam, C) having the surfer-boy lawn jockey to homosexually accidentally get his 'love-stick' get chopped off by a mower blade, & D) have him make the waitress his slave for life but you've made this guy way TOO NICE! Or maybe I've given you some ideas for the next few chapters(?). Hmmmm?

excellent start!! The story reads well and I am looking forward to the next segment.

You are an excellent writer, and as I said, could be professional. Good start with great potential, and very well written. Looking forward anxiously to the next installment.

Thanks.

I read literotica dail and I have my favorite writers. You sir have just became one of those writers. Please continue.

your story fucking sucked u should of had him fuck the witch in the ass.........................................................

A good start. I could have done without the "kept the name Crabapple because she liked it". I don't think it was really necessary to set up the character.

The gorgeous wife who only married him for his money also rang a bit hollow. I would have preferred a bit of setup on this. Instead of leading the story off with that already done, having him meet her get his heart broken, and derided as an idiot for ever thinking that a woman like that would be interested in him for anything but his money, would have done more to set up both characters.

All that being said, this is an excellent start to the story and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

i cant belive the negative comments, it was great, looking forward to more!!

Would have been nice to have at least one sex scene to get the ball rolling. Great story, but definitely needs a follow up so we can see where he goes.

Very well written. I liked the descriptions of Melvin, actually made him feel like a loser