Memoirs of a Swinger Ep. 32

"But you should see Ursula before that."

"I will."

"Can I come to Munich with you at Christmas?" Suzy asked.

"Of course you can," I told her.

"It's still a long way off," she said wistfully.

Presumably I didn't fully understand the full gravity of Suzy's sadness because, unusually, Lesley afforded her the privilege of sleeping between us that evening, a position that Lesley normally kept for herself. Obviously whatever had got into Suzy was serious.

SUZY'S PARENTS

On Friday, after work, I stopped off at the supermarket to do the shopping for the meal with Lynne and Siobhan. Lesley had enlisted Michael's help in deciding on a vegetarian menu and my contribution to the process was making sure that all the ingredients were freshly sourced. Helpfully, Michael had also suggested some wine to compliment the meal and so a trip to the off-license was also required.

We had the house to ourselves that evening, as Suzy was out with her badminton friends, and so I was quite surprised when I got home to see her car in the drive along with a Ford Escort that I didn't recognise. I assumed that perhaps our house was just the meeting point but when I walked inside I realised that wasn't the case. In the lounge were a middle aged couple and a very stressed looking Suzy.

"Steven. These are my parents," Suzy said with an undertone of dread in her voice. "Mum, Dad this is Steven, Lesley's husband."

"Mr and Mrs Armitage, I'm very pleased to meet you."

"There's no need for that, son," Mr Armitage said getting up from the sofa to shake my hand. "My name's Sid and the wife's called Mary."

Hearing that I was home, Lesley came through from kitchen with a big but forced smile on her face.

"You've met Suzy's mum and dad then," she said. Then she dropped the bombshell, "They're staying over tonight."

"Great," I said.

I took the shopping through to the kitchen and Lesley followed me in.

"I didn't know anything about this," she said. "Neither did Suzy. They just turned up and they've come all the way from Leeds."

"It'll be too late to cancel Lynne and Siobhan," I said.

"I know. We'll just have to muddle through."

I went back into the lounge and asked if anyone wanted a drink, while Lesley stayed in the Kitchen and got to work on the food.

"I could murder a beer," Sid said, then added, "The wife's fine."

"I'll go get you one."

"Don't be daft son. Suzy'll get them for us, won't you love."

"Yes dad."

Suzy came back with two beers and two glasses. She opened up a can and poured the contents into a glass, taking care to get just the right amount of froth on the head then she handed the glass to her father then repeated the process for me.

"You always did pour a good glass of beer love. It's just a shame that you don't have a man of your own to pour it for."

"Dad, please. Not in front of Steven."

"I'm just saying it's a shame, that's all."

When the doorbell rang I got up and walked to the front door to answer it. Lynne and Siobhan stood at the threshold and I invited them in.

"I am truly sorry for what you are going to experience tonight," I told them as I took their coats. "Our lodger's parents just turned up out of the blue. They've come all the way from Leeds."

"Don't worry," said Lynne.

The three of us walked into the lounge and I did some introductions to the Armitage clan.

"This is Lynne and Siobhan. Lynne is my assistant at work and Siobhan is her flatmate." Turning to the two girls I said, "Suzy's our lodger and these are her parents, Sid and Mary."

"What is it with you southern girls," said Sid. "Not a man between you."

"That's not because they aren't trying," Lesley said as she entered the room, hugging both Lynne and Siobhan. "I happen to know that someone was given a very expensive watch by a man who thinks the world of her, just the other day."

Lynne smiled and held out her hand showing everyone the watch.

"And your own daughter got a letter from an admirer earlier this week, Sid."

"Does he have a guide dog?" Sid joked.

"Dad, please."

"No he doesn't have a guide dog. But he was tall and hunky and if I hadn't been a married woman I might have been interested in him myself."

"Well there's still hope then," Sid acknowledged.

"So dinner will be in about fifteen minutes," Lesley continued. "I hope you all like vegetarian."

"Oh no, no, no," Sid replied. "I can't eat that. But don't worry, Suzy can rustle up something for me, can't you love."

Suzy looked defeated.

"I tell you what Sid," I told him. "Why don't we nip down to the pub? They do a great steak pie and chips."

Sid thought about it for a moment then said, "Aye son, I reckon that would be a grand idea."

Suzy looked at me with relief in her eyes.

"We'll be back later," I told them.

"We might just stay for a couple of pints," Sid added.

On his own, man to man, Sid was actually a nice bloke to talk to. He'd been in the army for the early part of his life and now he drove a truck around Yorkshire, making deliveries for a building supplies firm. I tried to explain to him what I did for a living but I'm not sure he fully accepted me as a fellow worker.

"I suppose you went to university," he said.

"I did," I replied.

"Worst mistake I made was letting our Suzy go to university."

"Why?"

"Gave her ideas," he continued. "If I'd have put my foot down she'd be married by now with a couple of kids. Settled."

"I think Suzy's done very well for herself, Sid. You should be proud of her."

"Don't get me wrong son. It's alright for your sort."

"What do you mean my sort?"

"I don't mean to offend you son. I just mean the upper classes."

I had to laugh and Sid looked at me oddly.

"My dad would punch your lights out if he heard you say that. I grew up in the East End. My dad was a porter in the markets by day and a prize fighter by night."

"I would never have guessed. So how did you get the fancy house?"

"As someone once told me, it's down to luck, hard work and the love of a good woman."

"Did you ever get in the ring?"

"I had no choice," I laughed. "I used to compete as a junior and I enjoyed it, but I gave up the competition to focus on my studies. My mum and dad wanted something better for me than what they'd had growing up." I explained. "Listen Mr Armitage, you have a very talented daughter with a great future ahead of her, you should be proud of her."

"Aye, perhaps," he replied. "Suzy's got a brother you know."

"I didn't."

"Fucking waster," Sid said, almost spitting the words out. "Hangs around in some squat in Leeds with his smack head friends, thieving off folks. I had such high hopes for him."

"All the more reason to be thankful for Suzy I guess."

"Aye, perhaps."

Seven pints of Fuller's London Pride is a lot of beer by most people's standards. It certainly left me comfortably numb, while Sid probably should have stopped at five. At eleven, the landlord called time and I guided Sid back home taking care that he didn't trip over kerb stones or walk in front of passing cars. When I opened the front door I was greeted by the sound of laughter and we walked into the lounge where the five girls were on their umpteenth bottle of wine judging by the empties.

"I think I'm going to go to bed," Sid declared to the assembled crowd.

"I'll just go up with him. Make sure he's ok," Mary said. It was the first time I'd heard her speak.

I collapsed onto the sofa next to Lesley and she curled up against me.

"How was dad?" Suzy asked.

"He was fine. I mean he's not going to win feminist of the year but he's a good bloke."

"I'm sorry. To all of you."

"Don't be," Siobhan replied. "Your mum's pretty cool once she's got a couple of glasses of wine in her."

When Suzy's mum came back down, she sat with Suzy who hugged her tightly.

"I'm sorry that you have to share a room tonight because of us," Mary told Lynne and Siobhan.

"It's alright Mrs Armitage," Lynne replied. "We'll manage."

"How was the meal," I asked.

"It was really good," Siobhan enthused.

"It was Michael's recipe," Lesley admitted.

"Is he a chef?" asked Siobhan.

"No, he's a high court judge."

"Oh right."

When it came time to call an end to the evening, Mary joined her husband in the guest bedroom, Lynne and Siobhan slept in the room that Carole used during the week and Suzy returned to her own bedroom. I'm not sure she'd ever slept in it before. As we were drifting off to sleep I heard our bedroom door open then close. Suzy climbed into bed with us and once again Lesley let her take the centre spot.

******************

In the morning, Suzy got up and snuck back to her own bed while I went downstairs to make some coffee. Mary was already in the kitchen nursing a glass of water.

"I shouldn't have had so much wine," she said.

"If I had a pound for every time I'd heard that," I joked. "Would you like a coffee?"

"Please," she replied.

I poured the coffee grounds out onto the filter paper and set the machine away

"Suzy wasn't in her bed when I went to see her this morning," Mary told me.

"Aha," I said non-committedly and continued to fiddle with the coffee maker instead.

"I'm her mother. I can't help worrying about her. Her brother, Mark, is a drug addict you know," she continued.

"Your husband said. I'm sorry."

"It broke his heart. I don't know what I'd do if Suzy went the same way."

"I can understand that."

"When I heard she was staying on luxury yachts and going to Munich for parties I got worried. I had to come and see for myself what sort of a life she was living."

"I can assure you Mrs Armitage, nobody is taking drugs around here. Well, as long as you exclude alcohol and coffee I guess."

"I can see that now." Mary laughed nervously then she asked, "Does Suzy always sleep with the two of you?"

"I won't lie to you, but do you really want to know the answer?"

Mary thought, then said, "I guess it's none of my business."

"She's in her room now. Why not take this coffee up to her and tell her that you were worried about her. I think she'd really like to know how much you care. Oh and ask her about the boy who wrote her the letter. She'd like that too."

I handed Mary a couple of cups of coffee then took a couple back to bed for Lesley and me.

As breakfast was going to be a meat free affair that morning, I suggested to Sid that we went to the local café for a fry up.

"Can I come too?" Suzy asked.

"Sure," I said quickly. "We need someone to pay the bill."

We took the Land Rover to a transport café on the road to Croydon and ordered three 'Full English' breakfasts. I loved a cooked breakfast but eating it in a place like this was the real deal.

"You remember when you used to take Mark and me to the football, dad?" Suzy asked. "We used to stop at a place like this on the way."

"Aye, you used to enjoy the fry up more than the match if I remember right."

"Football was more yours and Mark's thing, but I used to like coming with you."

"I know you did, love."

"Have you seen Mark lately?"

"He comes by every now and then. If he's got any money then he brings your mum some flowers but usually he wants another handout. I give him what I can and tell myself he'll buy food with it, but I know he'll just buy more drugs. We've tried to get him some help and get him into a clinic, but he's not interested. He's not ready to give it up."

"I'm sorry dad."

"I know you are, love. Listen, I should have said this before now and I'm sorry that I haven't, but your mum and I are very proud of you. Don't ever think that we aren't."

"Thanks dad. That means a lot."

"Mind you. If you can find yourself a man I'd be happier."

"I'm working on it, dad."

Sid and Mary left us just before lunchtime on Saturday. We said our goodbyes to them then Lynne, Siobhan, Lesley and I left Suzy alone with her parents for a final farewell. When Suzy came back she was crying and Lesley and I made a space for her between us.

"Mum knew I'd slept with the two of you last night," Suzy said after a while.

"I know," I told her. Then after a short pause added, "The problem is that Lynne and Siobhan didn't."

Suzy looked stunned. In fact she looked as if she wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

"To be honest," Siobhan joked, "it was pretty bloody obvious."

I looked at Lynne.

"Siobhan's right. The three of you touch each other far too much to be just friends," Lynne said.

"It doesn't bother you though."

"Of course not," Siobhan said laughing. "We're lesbians, so it's always nice to find people that society thinks are more depraved than us."

Lynne and Siobhan stayed for the rest of the afternoon. We didn't do much. We just sat chatting with them and having a laugh. Suzy's error meant that we could all be a bit more relaxed around each other. Suzy cuddled up with us on the sofa, while Lynne and Siobhan were similarly affectionate with each other.

After they'd left, Lesley suggested to Suzy that she should call Uwe. It was Saturday evening in Germany by then and there was no guarantee he'd be in but as it turned out, he was. They spoke for about twenty minutes and when she came back into the lounge Suzy looked happy. Lesley wanted more information of course and made Suzy recount the conversation detail.

When we went to bed Suzy wanted to be made love to, first by me and then by Lesley with her strap on. In her mind I'm pretty sure that Suzy was fucking Uwe however. Afterwards Lesley allowed her one last night in the centre of the bed.

Although things hadn't gone to plan, it seemed like they'd gone well all the same.

******************

On Sunday, Lesley and I went out on the Harley and met up with Daniel and Kate. There was a chill in the air but if you stayed in the city then riding the bike wasn't too cold. As usual we ended up in the Rock Café for lunch where Daniel had a proposition for Lesley.

"You know Kate's going to Geneva for Poppy's operation in a few weeks," he reminded her. "Well, I wondered if you'd like to take that trip to New York we talked about. If Steven doesn't mind that is."

Earlier in the year, with Lesley's approval, I'd taken my French friend, Sophie, to Corsica for a long weekend. Lesley had always wanted to go to New York and so as a sort of quid pro quo Daniel had offered to take her. It seemed only fair and I could see why October seemed a good time to do this as Kate had made a promise to Poppy, the young girl we'd met in Annecy that summer, that she'd be there for her operation to remove the scar left by a dog bite. Poppy meant a lot to Kate and she planned to stay out there for two weeks and help Poppy's mum look after her.

Lesley thought about the offer then said, "It's a lovely offer Daniel. Would you let me think about it and talk to Steven. I'll let you know tonight, I promise."

Daniel was obviously expecting his offer to be grabbed with both hands and looked a bit stumped by her response. I must admit I was too. It was only fair that Lesley got to go away with her lover, when I'd done the same a few months earlier.

When we got home after our ride we sat in the lounge and lazed on the sofa drinking tea, Lesley curled up into me and put her arms around me.

"I'd really like to go to New York with Daniel," she said.

"I know. Why did you want time to think about it?"

"Because I need your permission Steven. I'm serious about being a good wife."

I thought for a moment then said, "You have my permission but I don't want you leaving Daniel's side. He's responsible for you."

"Thank you. I'll let Daniel know tonight when we go over to see them."

That evening I lay in bed, with Kate next to me. The sex had been vigorous, just as we both liked it, but afterwards we were always tender with each other.

"When Daniel and Lesley are in New York, will you come and visit me in Annecy?" she asked.

"Aren't we all supposed to be visiting the weekend after Poppy's operation?"

"Yes, but I thought you might like to visit me on your own the following weekend," she said with a slight vulnerability in her voice. "Poppy's parents don't really need me as much on the weekend and she'll be almost recovered by then in any case."

"Won't you be staying with Poppy?" I asked.

"I could get us a hotel."

"What, you mean like, have a dirty weekend, just the two of us?"

"Yes."

"Does that mean we get to have as much sex as we want?"

"Yes," Kate giggled.

"Then I'm in," I told her

"Thank you Steven. You know I love you, don't you?"

"Of course I do. You know I love you too, right?"

"I do."

MEETING URSULA

On Monday, when we got home after our French class, we found Carole and Suzy talking in the lounge. Both of them had a glass of wine in their hand, which was unusual this early into the week. Carole was looking a bit glum and I immediately thought I knew what the problem was going to be.

"Fabien's got a lover," Carole told us, trying to sound matter of fact about it. "Some little tart from one of the galleries he sells to in Annecy."

The girls tried to comfort her, but Carole wasn't sad, she was angry.

"I think you need to spend some time with Steven," Lesley told her, knowing that there was nothing that she or Suzy could do for Carole.

"Come upstairs to my surgery," I told Carole, "and we can continue the consultation in private."

If nothing else, my comment made Carole snigger. We went upstairs to the guest bedroom, undressed and got into bed. I wasn't really sure what to expect. I didn't know if she was going to cry or want revenge sex but in the end Carole cuddled up to me and wanted to talk.

"I should have known he had someone lined up when he asked me about seeing other people."

"At least he asked you," I told her. "And if you'd have said no then I'm sure Fabien would have respected that."

"I know," she said.

"So what's your problem?"

"I'm jealous."

"That just shows you care."

"No, it shows that I'm worried about a younger woman getting her claws into my husband."

"Do you really think that's going to happen?"

"I don't know. What would you do?"

"I'd want to meet her I guess."

"I like that idea," Carole said, mulling the idea over. "Any other suggestions?"

"I'd also make sure that Fabien's getting what he needs from you. Maybe spice things up a bit. Take him away for Christmas, get him on his own for a while, something like that."

"Are you insinuating I've let things go stale?"

"Of course not. But you know what I mean. You're away a lot more. Possibly tired when you get home... "

"You're right."

"Alternatively," I told her, "Think of the possibilities."

"Which are?"

"Well, this woman might be able to take some of the load off your back, if you'll pardon the expression. She keeps Fabien satisfied in the week with the routine sex, leaving you to focus on the good stuff with him at the weekend. That way you know he's being taken care of."

I watched Carole's face as she thought about the suggestion.

"It might also give you the opportunity to have a bit more fun on your own if you wanted."

"I'm already doing that with you," she giggled. "But maybe I should get a boyfriend while I'm here. Do you know anyone?"

I thought for a moment.

"There's always Magnus. Ask Lesley about him. He'd be good for some no strings fun. I can't think of anyone else though."

Carole snuggled closer to me then reached down and felt for my cock.

"Have you had an erection the whole time I've been telling you about my problems?"

"Possibly."

I felt the warmth of her hand as she wrapped it around my erect member.

"Well, I guess we'd better not let it go to waste then."

******************

On Tuesday afternoon, Lynne and I flew to Munich and had a few beers in the bar before turning in. I apologised to her for what had happened at the weekend but she told me not to worry and that she and Siobhan had enjoyed themselves in any case.