All Comments on 'Memories : Reliving the Pleasure'

depressing, awful characters that don't deserve what they have, much less what they wish they had.

Great story. Hot sexy and fun. It reminds me of a past relationship I still pine away over very frequently

And have hot and wet dreams about sometimes.

Are very likable. Misbehaving wife. Guy needs to confront his wife and not get sucked in (or off!). T-G shouldn't be enticing a married guy who's emotionally vulnerable.

Forgive or divorce once everything is out in the open.

Great story- well written- very erotic descriptions of the action. TG is one hot tamale 🫔. Hard choices but in the end correct. Good ending. Surprised at how few comments

First-time writer???? Outstanding. Very well written. While I was disappointed at the outcome, feeling that Joyce's infidelity was too extreme to warrant a reconciliation, I truly enjoyed reading this story.

I predict your going to become one of this site's more well-known and respected writers in the event you wish to continue to write.

Thanks for sharing your talent! I look forward to reading more of your works.

G

OUTSTANDING! have been back and forth on writing a story, but been trying to get my life on track. Reading your 1st story has envigorated me to put one out there. Such a beautiful adaption to the original one, and it flowed together so nicely. I am looking forward to reading some more of your work. Great job.

What a marvelous sequence to an interesting story. But you took the story and made created a perfect sequel. The character development is incredibly interesting and a very good story. Everything was so well written. I will be watching for more.

It is a splendid work, perfect, and a great sequel to the original.

So, hello Mr. Nice All Over. I have to tell you that I've never seen an Epilogue in a short story. LOL. No rule against it, but certainly out of the ordinary. Short stories around here are definitely on the longer side.

Curiously, I wonder if you set an outline for this piece before you wrote it. That would not surprise me.

This was well done for a first story. Good erotica is more difficult to produce than many realize. If you're going to write it, I suggest you read it... I'm talking about professional stuff. One author I recommend without reservation is Megan Hart. (No, I'm not her) She writes in many genres, and she's really good with erotic literature. The stories are meaningful, the characters are well developed, the writing is smooth and eloquent. Two of my favorite novels are Dirty and Broken. Both have twists at the end. It's not superficial romantica.

Technically speaking, you do a nice job intercalating your dialogue with narrative. There are occasions when your narrative takes over for multiple paragraphs, and it becomes a bit weary. Sex scenes can tempt you to be too extensive and too descriptive. Less can be more. That's why I suggest reading a professionally published erotic novel. There are only so many ways to describe fucking. Believe me, the act has been thoroughly expounded upon. Erotica readers are interested in circumstances. Buildup is key. Dialogue is huge. Always emphasize the surrounding storm. Don't tell your reader how it feels. Show them.

Your epilogue needs to be a discussion between the narrator and his wife, not a massive narrative. At least, that's what I recommend. Your piece loses its 'story' component and becomes more like a report. It emulates a depressing air, which may be your intention, but is unattractive to readers. All that being said, people like to write comments about how much they like or dislike characters. None of that is technically relevant, so don't be alarmed. Evil characters exist. You aren't supposed to like them.

What you want to do as an author is touch your reader. You want to transfer an emotion and allow them to feel what you feel. You want to pull the reader into the story, make them empathize with one or more characters and feel as though they know them. That's the magic of character development and developing a piece. Avoid glassing over the minutia because it's the little things that matter. I'm not telling you this as an expert writer. I'm telling you as a reader who knows what I like. I've been taken on journeys by authors. That's what you want to do with the keys of your computer.

What I'm talking about is creating an 'environment' with your literature. Let your reader step through that window and be in the room. There's a little too much narrative in your piece to create that kind of closeness. Set up your story with a few paragraphs of narrative, then step into the moment-by-moment account. Let the reader look between the lines.

In other words, don't tell me the wife is going on a bachelorette adventure with her daughter and don't give me all these details about the upcoming wedding. That's discourse and dialogue. That's something I learn at breakfast. That's something she plays down until she stumbles into the bedroom at 3 AM.

Going back to the epilogue... OMG, that could be so much HOTTER. Someone could be sending vids of your wife while you're busy at that tropical meeting. The boy down the street could be involved. That's a gold mine of sexual intensity, mother and daughter at a frat party orgy. You set it up perfectly. You have to hammer that. I should be wet as shit reading about mom getting gang banged by a roomful of teenage testosterone. This is literotica. It's a sex site. That account reads like an epitaph. Juice it up. It doesn't matter if the protagonist is upset. The reader needs to see it differently and relish his devastation.

I love what you do with TG... the history between her and the speaker, her development in the world of finance. She's a self-made woman in a tainted relationship. Both of these characters are vulnerable, and that's so typical of how it happens. The fight scene was an emphasis on how Spencer has changed, and every woman is excited by chivalry. I like how TG takes up her cause and uses the situation to her advantage. I like her dialogue, calling out Joyce and besting her in bed. It's a competition everyone can enjoy. The butt plug was hot, the oral was good, the newness made everything real. That's what happens. You pull out the stops along with all of your toys, and you say goodbye to that meeting. Comparison contrast with sex partners is hot. I love seeing it in erotic literature. It's circumstantial emphasis.

TG reading the text messages was great. If she had sent something back on behalf of the husband, that could have been even hotter. You have to be careful there, but you could definitely do something. I like her antagonistic and devilish demeanor. She softens a bit in the end.

There's enough material here to create a novella, but you've got to back off the narration. Your goal is to draw all this out and concentrate on the sexual energy. Joyce is having a mini-midlife crisis. You have to wonder what else she's been up to - maybe at the gym. It sounds like she loves to flirt. Younger men get her going. She has been criminalized in the piece, but you could make her more likable through discourse. People stray. Things happen. Details of the mother/daughter adventure would be a fab chapter in itself.

Just because your narrator is a conservative family man doesn't mean what he tells us can't turn your reader on. The bones of your story has the potential of an A Bomb on the scale of erotica if you squeeze out every drop of essence. When I look at what is happening, I'm in awe of what you have here, and I didn't even read the referenced story. That was intentional. I wanted to see if your piece could stand on its own. it does.