All Comments on 'Memory Deficit'

Hehe. Weird but at times quite funny. 4 stars

I don't pay for the stories and so try to show respect for those who generally keep me entertained.

While cuck stories don't appeal or interest me, I even accept we all have different tastes.

This then is an oddity, it is a story that has totally defeated me and I regret I'll never get the time back. The humour escaped me, and all I'm left wondering is where is this place that Tom was for a period of time preceding the accident?

Still laughing.

That was funny lol.

Ending was a weak and pointless.

Should have used the ever golden classic Diesel Chevette to trap the mechanic.

Loved the exploding banana and how it ended one of the MC's problems. Seemed kind of strange that the wife went from slow talking to her husband to because of his amnesia to confronting him that he really didn't have amnesia. Lots of red herrings thrown around but it ended well. Four stars for the chuckles.

Humor is apparently wasted on a lot of readers here on Lit. Smh.

Funny stuff. How the wife was reacting to the fake amnesia at first had me rolling. 5/5

I suspected the twist before it was finally revealed, but it didn't diminish my enjoyment of the short story. Very funny and very clever. 5/5

Death by 🍌 oops mnmnm.... Yummy

🙊🙈🙉💨🍌🤯🧠🧟‍♂️

Pretty darn funny. Some zany twists. The drip feed of lies and then truth was hilarious as the MC kept reacting. In the end the wife never cheated. She had a crazy plan to break the prenuptial and thought Mike was a genuine friend on her side. But of course after the amnesia Mike makes his intentions clear and she is confused, then worried, then confesses to save her husband from an incoming exploding banana. Fitting death for Mike. Liked the side plot murd we attempt with Detective Cook, of which the wife was wholly innocent and had zero knowledge. The part about scraping the stone was hilarious and his reaction great. Kids are a mess. 4 stars. Some of it got a bit tortuous.

One question! How many magazines, manuals, novels, guides, instructions, have you read with dot dot dots in every sentence and WTF is meant by a dot dot dot at the beginning of a sentence. Up to my last day teaching college level English Literature, I'd never seen any one use it. If you don't leave a space after the third dot when listening to your story by a Text reader you hear every one of those dots. Ruins a good story like your. Had I received a manuscript on my desk written like this while during my 12 years as the Editor in Chief, it would have ended up in the dumpster and I'd have paddled my Secretaries ass. Excellent story but too many bad habits by other story tellers at Literotica. Still going to give this 5 stars. Install Text Aloud and use it to write your story and have it read it back to you and you'll hear every mistake you made. Pause and change anything or add, maybe backspace over something you want to get rid of. Most important, you'll hear how dot dot dots ruin your story.

Funny story. His kids? Sure setup a trust for education costs based on grades. In his will? Setup trusts that his kids can’t access until they’re 40. The wife? Make her sign a postnup as a condition of having spending money.

Totally insane LW's comedy. Brilliant really. Bravo 👏 5 🌟's

i had to check to see if hdk was'nt the authur of the "master piece"

For me, too long and contrived, i got bored and went to see what happened at the end, it still didnt seem like the mc was doing anything.

Good plot and pretty funny. Somewhat lengthy intro though.

Pretty good far e. Four stars. It got a bit too silly, but I guess that's what a farce is.

JPB

I could see this as a one off hour of TV, so silly it worked.

Good one.

Very humorous story that could have been hilariously funny without all the distracting subplots. Four stars anyway, because it's very hard to write comedy without being a comedian beforehand.

Funny how so many commenters ignore the humor and the zany rug pulls but insist the wife had to be cheating. Roll. It is fiction.

Hilarious farce. Crazy. But entertaining. Like how everyone assumed he had amnesia but he didn't.

LOL, what a great farce

That was a good one. A lot going on, but everything ended well. I don’t think I would ever trust Dani though.

only 4 stars because there is written that a PT Cruiser is wonderful car. It might be meant to be funny but it still means one star deduction.

A hoot.

[11.08.23]

Funny Stuph!

Looove the pop culture refs:

1) "I wasn't completely happy with the much bigger Lebowski Total Auto Service place that I had used before."

2) Nurse Ratched

3) W. E. Coyo

11/10!!!!!

Not happening!!

Humor is supposed to be in there But just stupid.

Slapstick I outgrew when became an adult. Some never do so I can understand the good comments But I wasted my time hoping it would finally be humorous

So, after all this contorted shenanigans nothing significant happened? This piece need help.

Thanks any way for your effort. 1

Some funny bits but all in all, this is the literary equivalent of eating a shit sandwich.

You develop plot points only to come out and say "that's not a plot point!".

train wreck....

Maybe I’m just strange but I love this one. Hilarious. Doesn’t take itself seriously. Great little romp!

+1 to the previous comment.

Also the kids need to be grounded.

Sorry to say this one missed the mark, by some way. Really messy and unconvincing story and characters, which I'd a shame from a generally good author.

A bit messy but ultimately settled on a 4, above average, as it was an interesting read. I'm not sure I buy the lack of a conspiracy by his wife and kids, they were just so blatant about everything. Why was the PI lying too? Overall not bad, I really thought it would turn out that the kids weren't his and Dani had a long term affair with Mike or something along those lines.

one of the worst stories i have had the misfortune to read

enjoyable but when she said she went too far with Mike just how far did she go?

I don't agree with the premise of the family being innocent in all this. A fair read but something was lacking. Had it not been a serious affair of someone getting nearly killed, it would've made a good comedy of errors. 4* for the bold endeavour to write and publish.

That was enjoyable, thanks.

Fun story to read, I don’t think I’ve read anything quite like it, here before. Thanks for giving us something light hearted. KS

"He started insinuating things about you and other women, and I believed him" - Why do they always believe the guy they know wants to get itno their pants.

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Assuming (bad word) that the prenup was fair, she should want to keep it if she's afraid of him leaving.

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I guess we know why the YouTuber never posted the last chapter!

Brilliant, loved it

then what?

Was pretty funny, but I think you milked the amnesia a bit too long.

Not humorous or that satirical?!!

hard to follow wtf was going on.

Slick story. You had my imagination on the edge the whole time. Did he really have amnesia or was he lucid throughout. I was constantly waiting on the other shoe to drop. Not sure I buy Dani having no direct involvement, but only you know for sure. Probably one of your best stories to date - 5.0*

Slick story. You had my imagination on the edge the whole time. Did he really have amnesia or was he lucid throughout. I was constantly waiting on the other shoe to drop. Not sure I buy Dani having no direct involvement, but on you know for sure. Probably one of your best stories to date - 5.0*

Weird tale

Great bit of fun

Stev you really fumbled the ball on this one. Not only stupid but very hard to follow the logic flow too much subterfuge in trying to be nifty...

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2.9***, hooyah barely

So totally out of left field. Still laughing.

What about the PI and his lies where does that fit in?

I see some potential here, but you did a pretty good job of burying it under really bad writing.

Very good and funny, I would've sworn it was an HDK story, it had his rhythm, timing, and setup.

All in all a solid 5*.

Good job

A silly story, not at all well drafted. A mercy three stars.

JPB

The exploding banana was hilarious..

Very funny, but did she sleep with those two guys or not?!

Why would his son tell him to have Joe do his brakes?

Too many loose ends and the story was incomplete. But I still appreciate the effort.

Good idea, not so good execution. The author should have worked on it more. Maybe this contest deadline was too short? It's not the first submission I read that looks like an unedited draft...

I have never been a big ste2244 fan. Kind of convoluted but the story had its Mullens where it was kind of funny..

Not all the story worked like it's supposed to but it had its moments

HUH??

I thought it was funny as hell. Was everyone stoned except the MC? It's amazing what having money does to some people.

Kind of obnoxious, and far too shallow and dim to be worth decoding all the slapstick and confusing dialogue. So someone tried to kill him to get his wife, but the wife didn't know about it so she didn't suspect it was attempted murder. But then his son implied that He knew something about the bogus brake job and tried along with his sister to cheat their father out of money? And the stupid cuck thinks he can fix his children with some tough financial retraints?

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And the police investigating his reckless driving and the insurance companies that paid for his car and paid his medical bills didn't have someone look at the car when the driver claimed his brakes failed? Like one cop, known to be crooked, could just cover all that shit up?

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Kind of a stupid story. Its obvious why.

Good effort.

Well-crafted that it even perplexed me just as how the MC was feeling.

But the ending was a bit of a disappointment.

And it really wasn't clear to me who did the brakes or for what.

And Dani's explanation felt so nonsensical I keep thinking which was the idiot, the MC or her.

If the author's goal was to confound the reader,

then Congratulations -- you managed to do just that to me.

But again the ending was a dud.

And confounded me to no end.

That was a fun, ridiculous romp!

Thanks for the chuckles.

Well done. Funny without being silly

It was pretty funny at times, but the biggest laugh was when you invoked the rabbit in “hare-brained scheme!” What a riot! Nice nod to Glenn Close and Fatal Attraction.

I see what you were trying --- but you missed by a mile. Hard to follow or read, it was just to disjointed -- 3* for the effort.

Absolutely ridiculous story.

Unlike the last 2 lines of this tale one can NOT polish this turd.

Very weak. Flow was never there, choppy and confusing. Not sure what you were after, bu it missed the mark with me. I hung in there until the end, but ultimately, it was a story about pretty much nothing. BTW, his wife is a cheating skank slut, no matter what she claims!

"I couldn't really blame her" - and then there were no likeable characters, just an idiot-fest.

That was a difficult read

Congrats. This rises into the ten worst stories I have ever read.

Thank God this polished. I'd hate to think how bad it was before the polishing. You also might want to take a hard look at your polishers. The grit they're using is way too course.

What a cluster fuck and that's being kind to this mess.

??? Where the MC was born... the Planet of Apes ? Utterly nonsense. Really bad.

This one is sure the cat's pajamas! Magic Mike and the exploding banana; now that's true inspiration for you. 5 stars!

More twists than a twizzler,! I had to laugh when he gives Joe the PT cruiser to work on, that alone is funny as hell ( PT cruiser makes FIAT look good). Congrats that the pieces all ended up fitting, with a story like this it is easy to leave something hanging . As crazy as it was, it worked that the wife wasn't the guilty party but the lusted after.

One note, it would be hard for cook to cover up that the car was tampered with, a detective doesn't do that, a forensic tech does it.

What an absolute piece of crap

Very funny how pretending amnesia can get you great results. Watching cartoons helps too.

Pure rubbish.

Really implausible.

That was a waste

Quirky. Well written but requires too much suspension of disbelief to accept the MC would wait weeks and weeks before calling a lawyer to alter his will, reconfirm his Pre-Nup, and establish an intense investigation of his partner--none of which he ever did. Such a clueless wimp would never have built the wealth all parties coveted, nor accepted that his wife was simply worried about his leaving her; she had too many convenient ties to too many of the suspiciously avaricious characters. Humorous but insubstantial.

MLJ

Fun! Maybe the bump on his head knocked some sense into him and he's finally able to see how awful his family was treating him. But, it sounds like everything is going to work out for him, now that he is a bit more observant.

I don't understand some of the negative comments. Have these people no sense of humor?

Wow, that was a wild ride! A textbook example of a story that doles out the information slowly, so the reader doesn't know any more than the protagonist about what the hell is going on. I think some readers perhaps misidentify tongue-in-cheek humor as statements meant to be taken seriously (like the doctor, for example). I wish Tom much happiness and a long life--but he clearly needs to dump those two kids.

Thanks, ohio

OK with a great premise of faux amnesia, but just a bit too unbelievable.

Clever and funny

Great story!!!!!

Well done!! 5 stars from here!

Damn! That was a hell of a ride! Poor chap was surrounded by pathological liars and idiots and it took a bang on the head to clue him in! 5* story, very enjoyable.

This was a mess.

You set the banana blow-off up perfectly.

Honestly, this bored me to tears. Monotonous, devoid of emotion and paper-thin characters and plot. You've done a lot better, but we all know you're one of her favorite puppies, so you get constant invites.

This thing was like watching that buffering signal on a computer screen when the internet signal is lost, just keeps going around in circles and nothing happens

I thought it was funny. Not sure what people are talking about. I took the tone as intentional.

Exceptionally stupid. Only entertaining to a gerbil running in an exercise wheel.

Good story!

5