Mess Made on the Baroness' Bed, The

She made a decent point. The thought of me having to make the trek back with a stiffy in my slacks the entire way did not sound very comfortable. It only took me a second or two to mull the proposal over, and simply shrugged my shoulders when I reached my decision. With how wild things had been and since I was back in the mood anyway, was another minor misdemeanour really going to matter in the long term? I assented, and Min responded with an enthusiastic exclamation of "brill!" before she stuck her hand into her abundant cleavage and rummaged around before producing a small vial which was hiding between her bosom.

The glass container was about two-thirds full with a substance I could not quite make out in the lunar light, but seemed to be a translucent goo that moved with syrup-like viscosity. "Nicked this from th' old cow's drawers. 'Tween this an' th' frillies, seems like she gets up t' a bit more mischief than I woulda guessed from a battleaxe like that! I've been needin' t' stock back up on th' stuff meself, but didn' think I'd be makin' use a' it quite so soon!" Min elaborated while she unstopped the vial and poured a quantity of its contents onto her palm. I did not have a chance to clarify what this slime was before she applied that same palm to my penis, making me flinch from the wet slap made on impact and how cold the stuff felt against my sensitive organ. I sighed when the goblin's fingers wrapped tight around my girth and her wrist started shifting back and forth, quickly coating the entire length from tip to base with this chilly ooze, and in spite of how firm her grasp was on my member's circumference, it easily glided along the inches that the slime had now made slippery.

This second handjob was even briefer than the first, only being performed for as long as it took for my dick to be thoroughly slicked up. Min then handed the vial to me before turning around and bending her upper body parallel to the ground. She then reached back with both arms to place a hand on a buttock each that were now being purposefully projected in my direction, sinking her digits deep into the plump flesh of those bum cheeks as freckled as the ones on her face to spread them apart and grant me a stark view of both the vagina I had just shagged, and the anus that had just shat, each appearing to be slightly agape than they otherwise would normally be because of those respective acts, and finding myself uncertain which I found to be the more erotic sight between the two.

"Since ya liked seein' somethin' come outta me shitter so much, how 'bout puttin' somethin' in it this time~?" The nonhuman said with an almost tittering tone as she looked at me over her shoulder, no doubt to derive amusement from my inevitable reaction to such a hint. "I've jus' emptied me guts, so things should be plenty clean up there! Jus' make sure ya lube it up plenty 'fore stickin' yer lad in. Gobbos might be stretchier than most, but even we've got our limits when it comes t' takin' the ol' dirt road!"

Her words rendered me dumbstruck. Was she seriously suggesting the act of anal sex so casually? I had absolutely zero experience when it came to that unorthodox form of intercourse even once in my life up until this point, and nor have I ever had the opportunity to experiment with it again as of the date I am penning this memoir, not even with my beloved wife. However, as it would appear that night had become a night all about exploring outside my comfort zone, and rather than admit to Min my lack of firsthand knowledge regarding alternative erotic practices, I decided to have faith in my instincts to carry me through just as I had done when following the goblin during our getaway.

I tipped a decent dollop of the transparent grease onto my the index and middle fingers of my dominant hand before putting those same fingers to the goblin's presented arsehole, admittedly having a moment of hesitation when it came to touching this part of her body, especially after witnessing what was recently expelled from it, but its wrinkled surface and from what little of the interior I could perceive seemed unsoiled enough to me despite that, and so I started to steadily trace my digits around that ringpiece (which was - like her nipples and her vulva - a slightly deeper colouration of green compared to the majority of her flesh) three or four times, watching it wink by reflex from my touch while listening to Min hum from the same cause.

After this, I put the tips of those same two fingers to the eye of her arsehole, and with only a little pressure needing to be applied behind them, sank them into the opening without major resistance being met until my knuckles touched the rim, although I still found difficulty moving my digits in any direction save for directly backwards and forwards at first. At first, I did so slowly, as to be careful not to cause any potential hurt in the goblin's bunghole, although even that was enough to bring a few moans out of Min's mouth, and it was not long before I started wiggling my fingers within her backdoor in addition to increasing the speed of my pushing and pulling fingers in an effort to make her produce more. With every motion I made, the looser and slicker the goblin's anus interior became, soon allowing me to twist, spread and even curl my fingers inside, each type gesture producing a different pitch in Min's vocalisations whenever I pushed my hands forwards, almost as if I was playing her like a musical instrument, and I could not wait to discover what melody might be made once we move onto the next stage.

After a time of this preliminary work, I determined Min's chute had been suitably lubricated and withdrew my fingers, leaving the aperture significantly wider than it had been before, and although the redhead did not clarify whether I had done enough, neither did she aver that I left the preparation incomplete. It was time for me to proceed to the main event, however, instead of lowering myself to an elevation to compensate for the goblin's shorter height as I had done before, I instead reached over and pushed down on the goblin's shoulder with one hand, urging her to bend over even further, planning to do so only as far as she was flexible, but ended up taking her to the point where she was almost standing atop her own head! Min unquestionably maintained this unusual, doubled-over posture where she stood, looking back between her own legs while I positioned myself directly above her posterior which now nearly angled upwards, holding her steady on the hip with my mitt that had slid from her shoulder to her side as my other aimed my erection as directly downwards as much as the stiff appendage could be manipulated before steadily bending my knees until the tip of my cock was touching the non-human's rear entrance.

Putting some force behind my plunge, I penetrated past the outer circle of Min's booty hole and slid my inches down into the rear chute just as I would have done had it been her pussy, although I was immediately struck by the difference between the two orifices after my entry. As to be expected, this brought about a louder groan to the redhead's mouth mirrored by myself as the sheer tautness of the short female's taboo inlet clamped secure and hot around my cock, and despite both being thoroughly oiled, it still took some amount of exertion for my length to part the passage walls, with both my hands now clasped on both the non-human's hip in order to keep her as anchored as she could during the stuffing, although this was still succeeded without too great of a struggle. Perhaps it's a good thing I have not tried anal again since this, as I suspected Min's arsehole only felt as tight as it did for me due to our size differences and skewed my expectations, as I'm not sure anything would have quite compared to this initial experience if it was not with a goblin, halfling or another member of a similarly diminutive species. Once all my entire cock was buried balls-deep into the goblin's backdoor, I paused to adjust to the almost suction-like sensation the rectal passage had on my length, a low moan being made to express the pleasure from my manhood being squeezed so, coinciding with my fingers tightening on the redhead's sides while also probably giving her arsehole a chance to adjust itself in holding it, although Min did not let her impatience go overlooked just a few seconds into this standstill.

"Hey, hey! What's th' hold-up back there? Don' tell me yer gettin' cold feet now of all times?" Min said as she outreached behind herself to give several impatient slaps against my thigh as if I was a mule she was encouraging to get going, which further reinforced my impression I had gained that she was already well acclimatised to less vanilla sex acts.

Far be it from me to keep a good lady waiting, I recommenced my pelvic motions, of course pulling back as I could not proceed any further forwards at that instance, and experiencing the cling of her arsehole on my shaft all over again. Once all but the glans of my member was withdrawn from Min's back orifice, I immediately reversed direction and set to pushing them all back inside, although this time foregoing any of the hesitant gentleness I had employed in my first delve, reinserting dick into the pliant goblin anus far faster than the last instance, finding it having adjusted to my human manhood so much so that within the span of merely a few downward thrusts, I was now pounding her chute with a speed comparable to when I was shagging her cunt earlier, if not slightly faster. Each of my presses was made with enough assertion that I genuinely thought I was going to embed the goblin into the very earth she stood upon had I kept it up for any longer than I did, my clothed pubis clapping into her naked buttocks with enough impact to make their pillowy flesh ripple from the contact.

A variety of obscene grunts, groans, whines and curses were sounded during our forestside fuck and without any shame after the other crimes we had just committed. If anybody happened to have been walking through those woods at this late hour, their pleasant moonlit ramble would have been disturbed by such salacious sounds, though my imagination was partially on the plausibility of the Baroness' guards finally finding us in the middle of me reaming my cohort. There was not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that Min would have welcomed such an audience to the act should she be so hormone-driven to choose pleasure over preservation, and if I'm honest, the idea of somebody catching us doing what we were in the open enhanced my personal exhilaration. I was too caught up in my own gusto and thoughts to really pay heed to the provider of my gratification outside of the groans she made while she handled me, although once or twice, I did cast my gaze downwards and saw one of her arms seeming to reaching inwards and up in the general direction of her crotch, and I could swear that even above the racket our voices were creating, I was able to hear the distinct sloppy sounds of at least some of her digits being stuck into her sopping slit to help heighten her own relish.

Knowing she was fingering herself on top of everything else already described was the final factor prompting me to cum for the second time that night not long after she started, impelling down with my weight focused to my pelvis in order to bury my whole shaft upon arriving at the decisive moment to maximise how much of my member would be compressed during my orgasm. It would seem the realisation that I was unloading my second volley of seed just as - if not even more so - large as my first into her shitter had a similar effect in setting off Min's orgasm, for she made a cry in conjunction with my own shout and with a shudder in her haunches as the entirety of her tiny body seemed to seize up, holding her thighs tight together while her anus repeatedly flexed around my spewing member almost as if trying to wring my rod for every last drop of its spunk, which if it did not succeed at doing, felt like it came pretty damn close!

All I did was hold my position, and still I was treated to quick clenches of pleasure even long after my dick had ceased throbbing and began softening, postponing my pulling out until the contractions seemed to fully concluded, although I still received another quick, involuntary internal spasm when I finally did withdraw my cock. Immediately after my member was removed, Min stood back up straight and whirled around on her heels before taking my half-erect cock into the same hand I was certain she had been using to play with her pussy for how distinctly sticky three of the fingers felt on my cock, and without telling me a word of what she was about to do instead put her mouth to another use: putting my prick past her lips to impart some last-minute delights by delivering a short but fierce (and very audible) polishing to it before I could put it away, presumably to guzzle up any cum which still clung to the circumference - just like the unapologetic slut that she had presented herself as - and without any evident baulking to placing what had just been probing her own arsehole to her tongue. This happened all so quickly and unexpectedly, that I did not have the chance to check whether my penis had been dirtied during its several plunges into the goblin's chocolate cavern, although I had no doubt it was thoroughly washed regardless by the time the brazen trollop concluded her cleaning.

Once Min had finished, I stashed my penis back into my slacks before she could convince me to go for a third round, although it was unlikely we would have had time for that even if I did want it, for it was only after this post-orgasm dick laving that we noticed the lights of those still seeking us out were now far closer to our current position compared to when we last looked, in fact appearing to be drawing nearer by the second as their search was evidently extending to the surrounding area. After Min flipped an aggressive two-finger salute in the direction of the Baroness' manor which I could not help but to replicating myself in the passion of things, we resumed our run back to Forgdan, slowing down to a brisk walk once we reached the foot of the hills and the lantern lights were out of sight, although still stopping at nothing until we had reached the outskirts of the town, and hoping those guards would not be sharp enough to pick up our trail from the occasional dribble of jizz that I noticed escaping from Min's loosened and uncovered arsehole when we were part of the way there.

III

I gave Min my cloak to wrap around her waist as a makeshift skirt to avoid ourselves being charged with indecent exposure during this final stretch back to relative sanctuary, making our way in and out of the streets as casually as we could after knowing what we had just done, as news of the raid and subsequent vandalism on the Baroness' boudoir had obviously not yet reached anywhere outside of her private estate, we did not want to give the crooked watch any excuse for stopping us, taking extra care not to cross the paths of any of its patrol to be on the side of caution. We made it back to the refuge of accommodations without incident and almost quite literally fell into bed after our taxing evening, managing to get in what few hours of sleep were left available to us until morning.

Upon waking up, everything that had transpired the previous night seemed so distant and unreal to me as I looked back on it, hardly believing that I really took part in the things that we did, almost like I was recalling a dream, although the presence of a bottomless goblin woman at my bedside yawning, stretching and groggily asking me what was for breakfast proved it was indeed reality. A little later, Min and I went to work dividing our haul as equally as we were able to amateurly appraise each stolen article's value before making our farewells and finally parting ways after I had gone out and bought her a replacement pair of bottoms with some of our newly gained gold. My compatriot set forth for a new locale knowing she would not be able to openly show her face around town for very much longer, and to this day, we have never crossed paths again, although for the remainder of the year following this escapade, I would occasionally hear barroom whispers now and then concerning a goblin female with half a head of red hair causing all sorts of trouble in the neighbouring counties until I heard them no more. Wherever Min might be and what had become of her, I only hope she is doing as well as she can for herself in her own unconstrained, liberated ways.

In truth, part of me wished I had gone with the goblin, if only to escape from my own wretched circumstances, although after putting any serious thought into the idea, I don't believe a life of endless wandering would suit me, as romantic as the notion of freedom such a life may bring, it would also bring its own set of troubles to contend with, such as never knowing whether you might have a roof over your head that night, or unable to forge any meaningful friendships to count on. Besides, I had too many commitments in and around Forgdan to seriously consider just up and leaving on a whim, as miserable as it was to have to live in that town. That said, I was fearful about even showing my face around said town over the next couple of days after Min went her way lest somebody managed to identify me as one half of the pair of thieves who had help spoil a noblewoman's bedroom, only leaving my flat after nightfall in search for food scraps while keeping my hood firmly over my face.

When the day came for fresh wanted posters to be printed and posted on every noticeboard in the neighbourhood, I braved going out one day to confirm what I was formally charged with after the Baroness witnessed my affront to her authority first hand. Scanning the nearest noticeboard from my residence, I was able to pick out Min's likeness on a flyer almost straight away (being the only female goblin displayed there certainly helped her stand out) illustrated to near-perfect detail, while directly below that were the figures representing a rather substantial reward offered to anybody who could capture her alive, much more what both of us had profited from that night combined. I quickly scanned the rest of the most recent posters, dreading to see my own mugshot looking grimly back at me, although I could not find any that came close to mirroring my own likeness even after going through the board thrice.

Of course, the fact that I did not seem to have a bounty in my name gave me great relief, although also puzzled me as to why this was until I looked back to Min's own poster and read the description beneath the portrait that detailed her characteristics and her crimes (although wetting and soiling the Baroness' bunk was only alluded to as 'sullying of personal property'), and found that any acknowledgement of my self was only relegated to a unspecific sentence of a 'humanoid male accomplice' along with an estimate of my height. This led me to conjecture that those who were observed our crime were so transfixed on the most disgusting of the goblin's deeds that night, I myself was but an afterthought they did not get a long enough glance of to determine something as fundamental as my species (being identified only as 'humanoid', rather than 'human'), let alone any of my distinguishing features before we took to our heels. I could not help but let out a chortle at the thought - drawing confusion from anybody nearby as to what I found so funny about these bills and advertisements - and was greatly relieved that I had practically gotten off scot-free in spite of my not small involvement, and I very much doubted there was anybody alive who could determine my identity from that notation alone.