Messy Ch. 09

Inside and with the door locked behind us, Jessie flipped a switch and illuminated the space. Mostly one room, we were standing in a kitchen, green cabinets and tan counters, the cooking space separated from the living area by a small eating bar.

The unmade bed was a few feet on the other side of the bar, pushed back against a red brick wall. On the far wall hung massive floor to ceiling curtains, wrapping partially around to the wall to the left. That side of the apartment was dominated by a huge fireplace, a futon sitting at the foot of the bed, heavy blankets and pillows scattered on the worn wood plank floor between its metal frame and the fire grate. On our left was a door that presumably led to a bathroom, and then there was The Wall.

It took up one entire side of the apartment, and was covered in paint. In the upper left, above even my ability to reach was a crudely painted map of the nation, black lines connecting points around and through it. Elsewhere The Wall was a patchwork of colors and designs looking nothing so much as a brain scan of a schizophrenic on an acid trip, overlaid with chalk drawings of clothing.

I registered movement and saw that Jessie had moved to the fireplace, loading it up with wood from a nearby stack and lighting with practiced skill that the most experienced eagle scout couldn't hope to duplicate. Hopefully it would ward off the chill, the apartment had to be in the low forties.

"Home sweet home," she said, and I detected a note of irony in her voice.

"It's very..." I couldn't finish the sentence. I didn't know how.

"It'll warm up in a few minutes," she said, pulling her arms through the coat. "I'll be right back, there's glasses and alcohol in the cabinet." Jessie disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door, and I shook my head and went hunting for some human antifreeze.

I'd poured two glasses of bourbon and was sitting on the futon in front of the raging fire when Jessie stepped out of the bathroom. She took a glass from me and bundled up in a blanket next to me, even though this close the flames were growing intolerably warm. "What do you think?"

"Very unique." That was all I could think to say.

She sipped long and hard at her drink, turned the glass around in her hands like she wanted to throw it or hug it. "I wanna tell you some things. I don't know why, but I do. And I'm afraid if I do, you'll go running."

"No, I won't." I put a hand on her knee. "Say whatever you want, or don't."

Jessie took a breath and seemed to curl into herself even more. "When she spoke, the words seemed to come from far away, delivered emotionlessly, through a train tunnel. "My mom put me on anti depressants when I was fourteen. Middle nineties. She found some very explicit letters I'd written to my first boyfriend and instead of trying to teach me about sex and relationships, she thought it was an emotional problem, something she could cure, maybe so I didn't end up a young single mom like her."

There was silence, like she was hoping that I would divine all she needed to say from that brief statement. When I said nothing, she continued. "I didn't FEEL anything for four years. They wouldn't take me off the pills even when I complained, even when I told them I hated feeling DEAD. I moved out, to this place on my eighteenth birthday. That was my birthday present, detoxing alone."

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling shock and disgust at what had happened to her.

"No you're not." Her words were simple and unaccusatory. "You didn't know me then. You only get to be sorry if you could've fixed it and didn't. I've been living here for a decade. Rent is fifty bucks. I don't have a furnace, so I heat the place with firewood the landlord provides in exchange for me not reporting that his apartment is unsuited for human habitation. I make do, and it sucks. But I live the life I want, as I want it. I feel what I want. I do what I want with my body, when I want. And no one can stop me."

Jessie smiled softly and it seemed genuine, not the intelligent feral grin I was used to. "I'm free. I'm fucking poor, but I'm free. Its scary, and I hate it, but I'm free."

"Jessie, why are you telling me this?"

She shrugged. "So you remember ME. So you know ME. From what you've seen of me, from what I've shown you, you probably think of me as this glamorous crazy girl who goes to orgies, and that's only like one percent me."

"I don't know you, you're right. But I'd like to. I like you. You're interesting to me. There's a sexual component, yeah, but that's not all I see you as. Unless I'm just having a quick fling with someone, I like to get to know the people I've slept with."

Jessie grinned. "I don't do this with every guy I fuck, so you know."

I matched her smile. "This would probably scare most of them away. Just saying." I leaned forward and kissed her. Tentatively, small movements of the lips before putting a hand behind her neck and pulling her hard into it, seeking her tongue with my own. She whimpered into my mouth and disengaged just long enough to set our glasses on the floor, and then I pushed her back, flat onto the futon. Her legs parted as I lay on top of her, and her hands slid under my shirt to stroke my back as we kissed.

We made out like teenagers for a long time, hands touching and discovering each others bodies, lips and tongues meeting and separating before meeting again with desperation.

I sat up and looked down at the pale beauty lying on the cushion below me. Her hand crept towards the hem of her dress, a teasing smile on her face. "Tell me about that wall," I said. "I've never seen anything like it."

Jessie groaned and sat up. "You bastard."

"I'm serious." I stood and offered her a hand up, and we walked over to the wall.

She pointed up at the upper left corner. "Bucket travel list. I want to see the United States with a friend of mine. The national parks mostly, but a few other places. May hitchhike, not sure yet. Right side is where I used to sketch clothing ideas. I'll use the tablet you gave me now, I can export right to a computer at the office then. And the rest...I just paint to reflect my mood."

I stepped up behind her and put my hands on her hips, kissed the back of her neck. Jessie shivered at my touch, and melted back against me. My hands slid around her waist and down, and she turned her head to look at me out of the corner of her eye. "I haven't been wearing panties the entire night and you never even tried to look or touch."

I turned her and pushed her back against the wall, kissed her hard. "You had me hard the entire night," I growled. "You are so fucking hot it's been all I can do to keep my hands off you the past two days."

Her chest heaving, she pushed me back slightly. "Before... Before we go any further, I need to tell you some things."

I stroked her neck. "Well, you're not a guy, no Adams Apple."

Jessie grinned. "Definitely all original girl. But... I'm allergic to condoms. Even if you use non-latex ones, I'm so sensitive that I'll be in pain for days."

"I remember you telling me that you were allergic," I replied.

Her face fell slightly. "I'm also allergic to hormonal birth control. It makes me...it... I'm... Its not a good thing for my body."

"So we can only have unprotected sex."

She nodded. "You just can't cum in my vagina. If that's a concern or a problem for you, well, I'm definitely open to alternative forms of birth control."

"As I also remember."

"You should know, if you're concerned about STDs, I've only slept with girls since I got tested for the party. You're the last guy I was with."

I imagined her rolling around in bed with another woman. "How do I end up having so many bisexual partners?"

Jessie shrugged. " You seek out people everyone else would consider kinky."

Images of her masturbating for me in the cantina filled my head. "That I do."

"One other thing." She looked down, embarrassed, then back up, forcing herself to meet my eyes. "If we do have sex... There's a very good chance I'll call you daddy. That's just one of my things."

"If?" I slid my hand down from her hip to the bare skin of her leg, then back up. Jessie trembled as my hand moved up her thigh, fighting to hold eye contact as I teased ever closer, then skipped her privates altogether to rest on her hip.

"You're mean."

"Oh you wanted something?" I teased my fingertips across her waist, dragged my knuckles gently down over a small, finely trimmed patch of pubic hair. Her slit was burning hot and lower, very obviously wet. I stroked her lips before sliding one finger, then another, into her and starting to rub small circles on her clit with my thumb.

Jessie's hands sought my cock, tracing its hard length though the fabric of my pants. She worked the zipper down and awkwardly pulled me out through the hole, gently working me as I manipulated her.

I pushed her around again, and she leaned against the wall, pushing her ass out at me, looking back over her shoulder with that feral grin as I pushed her dress up around her hips and teased the head of my prick down from the crack of her butt to her labia, back and forth before pushing into her.

It was probably the most aggressive, athletic sexual experience of my life.

I held her hips as I speared up into her, driving forward to saw against her gspot as I moved my hands to her wrists, restraining her against the wall to the sound of girlish gasps and squeals and the slap of flesh on flesh. Jessie was ridiculously tight around me, a fact I accentuated to her by changing angles slightly left or right. I kissed and bit at her neck and shoulder as I pounded her, relishing the smell of her, hearing her pleasured noises so close up.

I pulled out after a few minutes, stepping back to look at the beautiful woman leaning against the wall. She spun and dropped to her knees, sucking my wet shaft into her mouth, taking it all the way in and dragging it out, mouthing and licking the sides before returning it to the warm wet confines and bobbing up and down on it. Her hands found my belt and when she slipped me from her mouth, she continued nuzzling my cock even as she pulled my belt free.

Jessie offered me the loop of leather, eyes wide, almost innocent looking. "Please?"

I raised my eyebrows at her questioningly.

She rose and leaned against the wall again, lifting her dress and arching her bottom out. "Please, daddy."

I took my belt from her. "Why?"

"I was a brat to you in the restaurant. Please. I need it..."

I tangled my fingers in her hair, pulled her head back as I brushed the folded belt against her ass. "Is this what you deserve?"

Jessie nodded and I pulled the belt back, flicked it against her skin like I was snapping a towel. Not very hard, enough to gauge her reaction. Not much other than a widening of eyes and an inhalation. A harder smack, and another harder still, and she shrieked, biting down on her lip. "Bad girl, Jessie."

Her eyes went sad, and I whipped her again, leaving a white trail across her milk-colored skin that almost instantly turned dark pink. I kept going at that strength, and she shrieked every time, flinching away from the kiss of the leather against her butt and thighs.

After ten strikes, I dropped the belt on the floor, pulled her dress up over her head and unsnapped her bra, leaving her standing there in just her stockings and heels. "On the bed."

Jessie walked seductively to the bed and lay there in a curl as she watched me undress, then rolled to her back and parted her legs lewdly wide as I approached. My dick screamed at me to mount her immediately, to bury myself in her boiling wet slit, but instead I knelt between her legs and bent over, grabbing her ass roughly and pulled her pussy to my mouth as I pushed her legs up towards her chest. I applied hard suction to her clit, flicking at it relentlessly with my tongue. Her shrieks and squeals rose in volume and frequency as her orgasm approached, ending with a scream as she crested and went over. Her whole body shook, and she gestured incoherently with her hands in front of her as her brain fired pleasure through her nervous system.

I kept ahold of her legs as I repositioned myself, letting go only briefly to push the head of my cock into her, and then I was thrusting, holding her legs together to artificially increase the tightness of her already tight channel. Even with my entry and movement, she seemed to be coming back down from her oral-induced high, looking relaxed. "That was amazing."

"I wish I'd eaten your pussy before," I told her, bending her in half as I leaned down to kiss her. Her response was passionate, pulling at my back as her tongue fought mine and my strokes went from long and deep to short and sharp.

"Middle aged women say 'pussy' to make themselves feel dirty," she said breathlessly. "I have a cunt."

I let her legs fall to our sides and push into her as far as I could, my elbow above her shoulders, our bodies as tight together and as flat to the bed as possible. "I wish I'd eaten your cunt before."

I think Jessie came just from hearing me say that. She bit my shoulder and wrapped her legs around my waist, pumping up and down uncoordinatedly with my rhythmic thrusts, her face bright red, her nipples diamond-hard against my chest as she moved with me.

I tired of rutting into her in a conventional position and grabbed her ass, holding her tight against me as I sat up. Jessie giggled as my prick slipped free of her during the change in position, and she twisted, taking me in hand and reseating me in her drenched hole with a delicious push of flesh against yielding flesh. I fisted her chin-length hair and yanked her head back as I bounced her on my lap, kissing and nibbling at her exposed neck. Those girlish cries started amping up again, and she aggressively sought her climax with rough, hard bucks of her crotch into mine.

I pulled her down, forcefully holding her still even though every fiber in my body cried out to push, thrust, fuck. She trembled in my grip, whimpering as she realized I wasn't going to let her reach her goal. "Hold. Still." We sat there, sweating, shaking, looking into each others eyes as the sexual high dissipated.

Then her predatory grin appeared and she roughly pushed me flat on my back. "Fuck you." Jessie leaned over and kissed me wetly, passionately as she started bouncing again, wet slaps as she rode up and sank back down again on my erection. After putting so much energy and muscle into fucking her, it felt good, satisfying, to lay back momentarily and let her take over. Hands on my chest, she rode me aggressively, twisting her pelvis as she pushed back, adding another layer of stimulation to the wet, constricting slide. Changing it up, Jessie began a more muscular, animal fucking, rolling her back down as she pushed back, arching it up like a cat as she pulled forward until I was almost dislodged, throwing herself back again. The visual of her lean body against mine and her small breasts hanging in in my face drove me crazy and I gripped her ass hard, pumping up into her every time she moved back.

Jessie giggled at my renewed energy. "You like that?" She pulled off and mounted me in the opposite direction, legs on either side of my shoulders, pussy in my face as she inhaled my cock, slurping it up and down noisily. I fought to ignore the pleasure from the lower half of my body by concentrating on eating her out, nibbling and tonguing her clit and labia as I pulled her tight asscheeks apart to work two fingers into her soaked twat. Jessie shrieked around me, pulling off as I found her gspot and manipulated it while sucking on her little pleasured nub, looking back at me, overjoyed. This girl REALLY liked oral.

The look on her face was more than I could take. Those delicate features, the twist of her lips, the way they stretched in an orgasmic gasp spiked lust through my body and I pushed her off me to flop onto the bed. I pinned her there, hands on the edge of the mattress, head hanging off, while I pushed her thighs open with my knees and leaned over to push back in. A few strokes down and against the front wall of her cunt, and she pushed her ass back at me. I dragged her up into a more normal doggy style and she squealed repeatedly as she bucked back against my hard thrusts. I fisted her hair again and used my grip to pull her up off her hands, back arched like a bow, throat exposed. She came as soon as I reached around to support her with a hard grip on one breast, uncoordinated humps back against me as she tried to grind more of my erection into her spasming sheath.

I'd been fighting the need to ejaculate for a few minutes, and now I whispered in her ear "Where do you want me to cum?"

Still unfocused and fuzzy from her climax, her throat worked a few times and she twisted - barely - in the hold I had on her hair to kinda sorta look at me questioningly. I released her and pushed her flat, ceased all movement, and tried to calm down. Eventually Jessie looked back at me. "In...in my ass."

I pulled out and flopped down on the bed beside her, breathing heavily. "Lube?"

Jessie rummaged through a nightstand and passed me a partially used bottle. I pulled her against me, back to my chest, and she settled into a more accessible position, snuggling her small bottom back against my crotch and lifting a slim leg to allow me easy access. I squeezed a large amount of the liquid out onto my fingers and then reached down between our bodies, slicking it up and and down between her buttocks before pushing one wet finger firmly past her ring. I wormed my other hand under her, reaching around to stroke and squeeze her right breast.

She turned her head to look at me when I added another finger, gently stretching her asshole open. The look on her face was...intimate...and she kissed me tenderly, pulling away when I handed her the bottle. She squeezed more onto my hand and I reached down to liberally coat my rod before taking it in hand and squirming slightly to position the tip at her anus.

I pushed forward slowly but insistently, and Jessie gasped silently at my intrusion, her mouth working through a series of erotic grimaces, smiles, and winces as I penetrated her. I pulled her down and against me as I thrust, each movement slipping me deeper into her insanely tight ass. With the hand I had under her, I pushed at the back of her head, and she kissed me again.

Picking up force, I began working my cock back and forth inside her, trying to get to my climax. Jessie broke the kiss to look down between her spread legs, and she licked three fingers and reached down to begin rubbing her privates. Turning back to me in an almost embarrassed way, she asked "Can I play with my cunt please?"

I nodded, and she held eye contact with me as she rubbed furiously at her clit, her face contorting in that feral grin before she shrieked out another orgasm. The rhythmic squeezing of her backdoor around my prick was too much, and I pushed as deep as I could while my body released, clenched, released again, forcing my cum hard out of me and into Jessie's ass, over and over and over.

When the contractions had ceased, I reached down and gently pulled out of her. I started to rise to look for something to clean us up, but she twisted to face me and gently pushed me flat before crawling up my body to lay her head on my chest.

Without a word, we lay there. I couldn't read her mind, couldn't tell what she was thinking or feeling, but I felt fulfilled. Sated. Full.

And strangely guilty.

I felt messy. This was getting to be a common feeling.

Dammit.