All Comments on 'Michael and the Cruise Ch. 01'

A good start, look forward to reading the next chapter

Keep going as this is just great. My one request is that you let your narrator have one conversation with his ex-fiancee to embarrass and shame her. He should not harm her physically. Just let her hear what she lost.

Your first chapter was well written I hope to see the next section soon.

Can Michael have some chest hair for his sexy masseuse to massage? A good coating of chest hair across the pecs (and a man's nipples can be very sensitive surrounded by chest hair), and a treasure trail down the center of the washboard abs would suit him fine! Looking forward to the next massage!

Good start but please use a volunteer editor to catch and correct all the spelling and text errors. They distract from your story. See example below of three errors.

Michael smiled as he opened the door, holding it and waving off a few of the men who tried to take it from them. The wait was only a dozen seconds or so as he spotted the women of his interest from the same Old Navy flip-flops. He was smiling and nodding at each person that past.

I want a massage now too.