MidLife in Crisis: Joyce's Awakening

"Oh, Darling, if you keep looking at me like that, we will never get out of here." She walked over and I felt the briefest of kisses before she pulled back and applied her lipstick. "Come darling, they have a secluded table with our name on it." My hands trembled as she helped me up and walked me to the door.

As soon as we were in the hall, she let my hand drop and I sighed. How she knew exactly what to do, amazed me. We walked in comfortable silence and companionship to the eating area. She softly spoke our names to the hostess and we followed her to our reserved table. She didn't look at the menu as she ordered up the fruit bowl and cinnamon tea.

"Do you have any regrets?" She asked, bringing me out of my fog.

"Only that I didn't get to know you better before." I looked down hesitant, not knowing what to do with my hands.

"Yes, there is that. But, you have to admit, we make perfect love with each other. I never expected it to happen. And Darling, I have been looking for a long time." She smiled at me as she set out the tea service.

"I never thought it could be so...." Shivers went down my spine every time she called me that endearment. So much was said in that simple word.

"Yes it was, wasn't it? For someone so new to Sapphic delights, you are one of a kind. I shudder at the thought of anyone ever sharing that with you, but me. If you are amendable, I would love to see if we can build on last night's loving." Alarm bells were going off in my head. Was she asking what I thought she was asking?

She must have seen the look on my face. "Darling, I will not push. We can take this as fast or slow as you want. All I know is that we fit ever so well and I don't want to lose that. I think, you are a lot like me. Not one to share themselves easily. But to be honest, I want to share everything with you. I never believed at love at first sight until last night." She had her hand softly placed on mine. It was the only thing that held me in my chair.

"I'm overwhelmed." There was something there and I knew it. Did I have the strength to go after it, was the issue? My heart was racing and my thoughts jumbled.

"Think about it. I will take you to Bernice's. I know she and her friend have already left. I will ensure you have my information before we part. I think we could have something spectacular. I know I have never had a night like that before. I have never even...." She looked off and I saw the dreamy look on her face. "I just need to you understand, what happed was so special to me." I saw the tears in her eyes that she refused to let go.

"This is so new to me. I just need some time to process. I've never had any enjoyment, until last night. There were so many firsts. I don't know where to start. Until my daughters' I never understood that a woman could be really in love with another woman. I know my ex-husband never in over twenty years made me feel any kind of pleasure like you did with your first kiss." Part of me wanted to kiss her right there just to feel her lips on mine.

"Oh, Darling, I never knew you were so close to your crisis point. I knew there was something about you, which drew me in, like the moth to the flame. If you let me, I would like to help you past that crisis and what I believe could be a wonderful life together. Please, just think about it and talk to those you trust. Know that I will be waiting, if I am what you want." there was something so vulnerable in her eyes. I knew this was a woman who was used to being in control of every facet of her life.

I planned on doing just that. Talk to those I trust that is. We ate in quiet companionship, not worried about filling in the empty spaces. We had said what needed to be said and it was time for just being in each other's company. After brunch, we went and got our stuff. Again I was transfixed by her every movement.

We put our bags in her trunk and she drove me home. The only thing that was said or done was she softly held my hand, when she could, as she drove. Before I got out, Jeannette stopped me with a simple touch. As I turned to look at her, she reached up and gently cupped my face. Our lips met in the warmest of kisses that ended on a sigh.

"I will call and we will talk." I promised her. I felt like a teenager again, coming home from the greatest date ever. The part of me that was Joy was again, doing the happy dance. I think a little showed as my hips swayed as I walked to the door. I could fell Jeannette watching me. I waved to her as I slipped in the door. I so wanted to go straight to Bernie and tell her everything.

Unfortunately, that wasn't to be. I could hear the unmistakable sounds of people having sex. I knew Mary was getting close to her completion, because she was talking again. I knew I would be greeted by a view as I passed the living room. It was obvious by her words.

"Oh yes, so good, oh yeah that's it right there. Oh Ted she is licking me so good. That's it, fuck her ass. Give it to her. I can feel her go deeper with every thrust. OH fuck... I'm cumming. Fill her ass; oh yeah..." She groaned in pleasure.

She waved to me as I passed. They knew I was there but they were involved. I actually paused, taking in the tangle of bodies. Mary was on the floor, her legs spread with Bernie's head at the juncture. Bernie was on her knees and Ted was flexing behind her. As I looked at Mary I felt a tingle, when I saw Ted, I felt nothing. I waved back and quietly grabbed my cell phone and left them to their fun.

"You did what...?" Elspeth asked me astonished. "Here let me put you on speaker. Amy come quick, mom is on the phone." I heard her call to her wife. "Say that again... Amy is here now."

"I just made love to the most perfect woman." I said succinctly.

"Way to go mom." Amy cheered me on. "A new lesbian is born."

"I'm... I'm not a Lesbian. I can't be a lesbian. I have kids. I've had sex with a male. I've studied this. You two are lesbians, I'm well, I don't know what I am, but I can't be a lesbian."

"Mom... MOM, breathe." Elsbeth said with a laugh in her voice. "Did you make love to her and do you love her?"

"It was the most special night ever. I could get used to waking up next to her..."

"That's a yes." Amy said loudly. "Did she take you where no man has ever been before?"

"Oh goodness it was so, so; I never knew I could be that way." I breathed and felt myself get moist.

"Another yes." I heard them giggle.

"Okay, here's the big one, does she love you?" Elspeth quieted Amy so they could hear my answer.

"She said she wanted to be with me forever, but I needed to talk to those I trust to see if this is what I wanted...." They were so excited for me that they weren't letting me finish my sentences.

"Oh mom, that is a definite yes. When do we get to meet and talk to her?" Amy said with a sigh.

"I, I don't know." I hadn't thought it through that far.

"This is so unreal. My mom is in love with another woman." Elspeth said. "Tell me everything."

"Sweetie, I have to go in to work. I am in the Pedi-ward today... mom, can she call you back?" She asked me over the distance.

"Oh, yes... I'm sorry I didn't know." I stammered.

"It's fine I just need her attention for a bit. She can call as soon as I go in." Amy said interrupting me.

"Okay, you girls be good. I'll talk to you later." I said happily.

"Mom, she is very good." I heard the husky quality in Amy's voice and blushed. I knew what she had on her mind. As a matter of fact it was also on my mind. Well the memory of it anyway.

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Last entry:

Joyce Hampton.

Okay, after much persuasion, I'll admit that I might be a lesbian. But only to family. To everyone else, well it is just not any of their business. I realized after talking to Elspeth for hours after Amy went to work. That one; I needed my own space, and two; I wanted to see where a real relationship could go with Jeannette.

What I didn't know at the time was both problems had the same answer. I stayed with Bernie for another week and talked to Margret one last time, before I followed my heart and moved in with Jeannette.

Again, I am trying to jump to the end.

After my long talk, and since I had no idea if Bernie still had company, or if they were finished with their sex play. I ended up at the address that Jeannette gave me with her phone number. Again I was hesitant to knock at a door. This one was gilded glass and deep dark wood. I pushed the button to her doorbell and heard her heals on the floor as she answered the door.

"Oh... Hello, Joyce." I could see the shock in her beautiful green eyes.

"You said I should come over when I was ready to talk." I held my purse in clenched hands.

"Yes Darling, I did." She smiled. "Why don't you come in?" She motioned me past her as closed and locked the door. I turned as I heard the deadbolt click into its arbor. As soon as I was facing her and in front of her glass door, she cupped my face and kissed me. I hesitated for only a second then my arms and hands moved of their own accord as I reached up and pulled her into me.

I heard a noise behind me and pulled back. I saw the shapes of people behind me. "I didn't know you had company. I'm sorry to show up unannounced." I apologized.

"Oh yes, let me introduce you Darling. And you are always welcome, announced or not. I'll get you a key if you like." She smiled at me and made my knees weak.

"Mom... are you going to make the introductions, or are we going to have to guess who your friend is?" I heard the humor in the voice behind me.

"I'm sorry Peter. Joyce has a way of making me forget my manners." She fanned herself and smiled mischievously. "Peter, this is my lover Joyce Hampton. Joyce this is my son Peter and his wife Gale. They came for dinner. I would have set you a place if I knew you were coming." She softly touched my back as she made the introductions.

"It is nice to meet you Joyce." He smiled at me. "I was telling Gale, that someone special had to put that sparkle in my mom's eyes, as soon as we got here. She has been alone for so long. Welcome." He clasped my hand warmly and looked at his mother. "If another night would be better?"

"No...!" We both said at the same time.

"We can set another place. There is enough." Jeannette said with unruffled calm. "It will give everyone a chance to get to know one another."

Two hours later, after an exquisite dinner set on fine china and wine out of crystal goblets. We again stood at the door as we said out goodbyes to Jeannette's son and daughter-in-law. After kisses and hugs all around, we watched as they walked to their car. I didn't realize it at first, but Jeannette had her arm loosely around me as we waved. Without thinking, I leaned into her as she waved to one of her neighbors and closed the door.

"Did you bring a change of clothes Darling?" She asked looking at me with her enchanting eyes.

"I didn't...." I was stammering again.

"Then we will have to make due." She stopped my voice with her lips.

I again woke up in soft cotton and hugged from behind. I could see the sun between the lavender drapes, peeking in. I turned and was greeted by her lips, giving me a reason to smile. Her warm nude body next to mine felt like heaven.

"Darling, we are going to have to get to sleep much earlier if we ever want to get out of this bed before noon." She nibbled my ear, making me shiver and hug her arms to my middle. "I do so love watching you sleep though. You look so peaceful; it just pulls me back into slumber."

I turned over and kissed her neck and nipples, before hugging her tight. "I could stay right here forever." I sighed against her warm skin.

"Oh Darling, you have no idea what you do to me. But we have to have a talk. We have to have honesty if this is going to work."

"I honestly don't want to move." I found her nipple again and this time I started what I knew was going to be a long loving experience. It was well over an hour later, when she rolled away and gasped.

"Oh Darling, I'm famished, but I can't move." She was breathing fast and hard. "What did you do to me my love?"

"I accepted." I kissed her stomach.

"Oh... now we do have to have that talk. Let me up love. I'll make us some tea. Please for God's sake, put on a robe or we will never get this done." She forced herself out of the mussed bed and walked on shaky legs to her bathroom.

I dozed happily until she woke me back up. "Darling, the tea is ready." She nudged me and nipped at my center. "Come on love, I'll be waiting in the sun room." I don't know how she did it, but she looked perfectly put together in her long satin robe and matching peach slippers.

"Darling, um, I know who you are." I could feel her hesitation.

"Yes...? Who am I, other than you new and hopefully last lover?" I asked confused.

"Oh my... you say that with such passion even." Her face flushed and she bit her lip. "Honey, I know who Joyce Wolford was. You might not remember me, but I even went to your church while I was married to my husband. My kids and yours were in Sunday school together. I admired you even back then."

"Patterson... that is your or was your last name." My brain flashed with Elspeth and another little girl playing house together. They would sit there and play for hours, ignoring everyone else around them. "How is Melody?"

"Oh my God, you do remember. Darling, she is married with children and hating it."

"I didn't until just now. I knew there was something familiar and comfortable about you, but I haven't seen you since the kids were little. What happened?" Memories flooded me about the demure woman who could never hold eye contact.

"Charles was an abuser. He loved finding new and interesting ways in making me suffer. Melody married someone just like him. I'm trying to get her to a safe place, but she isn't ready to believe you can't change them." She wiped away the tear that fell.

"Was an abuser?" I asked.

"Yes, he was killed in Taiwan when a... a whorehouse that sold young children to foreigners, caught fire. He had a very good insurance plan, plus I sued his employers. I paid for the little boy's family to come over here and start a new life. They live in Seattle and are very happy."

"Oh my GOD...!" I couldn't stay still. I was instantly by her side and hugging her. "I am so sorry. If I had known...."

"You could have done nothing." She smiled at me. "I have come to grips with that and so much more over the years." The way she looked at me, I knew there was more.

"Darling, I hate to say this, but the reason I left the church was because when Richard was consoling me...." I could feel the fear and loathing flow though her.

"He wanted you give him oral sex!" For the first time in months, I felt sick to my stomach. I felt so bad for Jeannette. How she survived was a miracle.

"You knew." She looked at me with something close to revulsion.

"Not until I caught him at it and left months ago. But, it all makes sense to me now. He doesn't look at that as sex. To him it's fulfilling his needs of the flesh; he calls it." I cupped her face. "He... they; are in the past. We are in the present and looking to our future." I kissed her and opened our robes so we could have skin to skin contact.

"Now, what are we going to do to get Melody out of there?" I asked as I hugged her. "We can't leave her trapped like that." I didn't care if her backyard neighbor could look over the fence and see us cuddling naked in her sun room.

It only took two nights of us being separated to realize I need to gather my belongings and move them into the empty side of the closet. I thanked Bernie for letting me stay and promised that we would still be as close as always. The next weekend, I asked Jeannette if we could have a getting together party.

She thought it was a great idea. It would give everyone a chance to meet each other's families. I called Bernie and invited her, then the girls, with the instruction to invite Amy's family, while Jeannette called her kids and invited them. It was the perfect chance to see Melody again where her husband could not refuse the invitation.

"Darling, you know Randy hates me for being like we are. He will hate you on site and will probably go straight to Richard with all this." She was concerned and I loved her for it.

"So, like I care what he thinks. Elspeth and Amy will be here, so will her family and yours. This is about us finding each other, not about him or my ex." I shrugged it off and kissed her again.

Let me be clear. We loved each other fully, and showed it in the privacy of our home. In public, you had to look to see the small touches that gave us away. We were both very private people. To the unobservant, we looked like two long time friends going shopping together, rather than the lovers we had become.

Anyway, back to the party. Almost everyone was there by the time Randy walked in like he owned the place. He ignored his wife as she tried to get their two kids together to bring them in. Amy's brother, Bryan, looked at him and shook his head. He went out to help so she could carry the Toddler as the older child looked up at him in fear and hid behind her leg.

"Here let me help you with that." He smiled and reached for some of the stuff she was trying to carry.

"No, it's alright, I've got it." Melody looked in her husband's direction fearfully. Her daughter, Jean, had other plans.

Jean is a little spitfire with bright curly hair and knowing eyes. She saw Bryan and instantly latched on to him like she recognized who he was. "Up... up!" She demanded as she reached out to him and strangled his neck. Within minutes, she was playing next to Sammy as she played in her playpen. Melody and Linda looking on as nervous mothers will.

I was surrounded by the girls and Amy's other brother Ryan, who was smiling at his wife. "We're going to have to say something about that." Amy told her brother.

"If he doesn't kill that bastard first." Ryan nodded as they watched Bryan look at Melody and glare at Randy. "I don't believe it. I think my brother is smitten." He laughed.

"Yeah, but she isn't one of his weekend flings. Let's go." I was going to interfere, but Amy's mom and her partner stopped me.

"They will take care of this." They held my hand as I watched nervously.

"Hey Bryan, come here for sec." Amy called out

"Yeah...." I could see Bryan was irritated.

"What the hell are you playing at?" Amy asked as Elspeth and Peter came up to the scene.

"If that asshole lays a finger on her I'll break him like a fucking twig." He bit out, trying to keep his voice down.

"Hey Doofus, she's married, with children." Ryan was enjoying this.

"Yeah, and so. She might be a widow pretty soon if he doesn't watch it." He glared at the object of his ire.

"Melody isn't a spring fling. She's an all or nothing kind of girl. Hurt her, and I'll kick your ass myself." I was shocked. It was my sweet Elspeth who said that to the much bigger Bryan.

"I know that. Look at her." They all saw his eyes go dreamy. "She needs.... I'll kill him if he hurts her or them kids. Jake is terrified of me just because I'm a man." Bryan was breathing hard trying to maintain his bearings.

"About damn time someone did something about that piece of shit." Peter backed Bryan wholeheartedly.

"We're leaving. Gather the stuff. I'll be in the car. My children will not be exposed to these kinds of people." Randy ordered. It took all of them to hold Bryan back.

"But mom hasn't served dinner yet." Melody looked frightened and flinched when he moved his hand.

"Either be in the car in five minutes or find someplace else to stay until I decide to come get you." He bent over and picked up her purse and started walking away.

"I don't think so...!" Bryan was ready to kill.