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Noticing the cellblock monitors she spotted Shantel Bigelow waving her arms at the camera. Turning up the speaker to the wing Gert heard the fur wearing hag bellowing. "I NEED TO TAKE A DUMP." With no bathroom in the age-old cells the on-duty officers normally escorted any prisoners to the powder room. Nobody else here to provide that service Gertrude was tempted to tell her to cop a squat in her tiny cell. Sympathy of age Gertrude snatched up the cell key and hobbled back to the cellblock and entered.
"Don't you try anything. I'm doing you a courtesy." Gert winced.
"You're an angel from Heaven. I was ready to do a monkey and whip my turds into the other cell."
"Stand back." Gert unlocked the cell as Shantel stepped aside. "I won't cuff you because I'm not wiping your ass."
"Bless you... Gertrude, isn't it?"
"Yep! Let's go." Cell door open Shantel eased out the door, one hand on the bars and smirked. Before Gert could react, the treacherous old bat snapped the keys away from her and rushed Gert shoving her into the cell. On the floor she toppled. Locking her in Shantel pouted.
"Forgive me Sweetie! Beauty before age they say." Cell key tossed into the opposite cell Shantel looked up at the camera and actually did an Elvis Presley hip dance. "Let's rock! Everybody, let's rock, everybody in the whole cell block, was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock!"
Cracking herself up she walked right on out of the cellblock and closed the door behind her. Preparing to skip the building entirely she paused to look at the empty dispatch station. Seeing Gertrude's purse on the floor she shuffled in and grabbed it. Opening it up to see her wallet she found sixty dollars in it. Lots of goodies actually. "Oooo! Tampons! Haven't seen one of those in a while."
Car keys found Shantel grew giddy. Hearing communication over the airwaves from outside Caretaker units, Shantel cackled and plucked up the mic and pushed a button. "CALLING ALL CARS! CALLING ALL CARS! CAR 54 WHERE ARRRRRE YOU?" Laughing her ass off she tossed it aside then left the station. Only one car in the lot an old Volvo, she climbed in and made her getaway.
"Full tank of grass. WOOHOO!" Radio turned on to a local AM channel she sang along with Willie Nelson. "On the road again. Just waitin' to run over Foo Foo again." Okay, she changed the words.
Old Dog... new tricks!
R.I.P. Foo Foo!
