Mike & Karen Ch. 24

So now Tatyana found herself dithering outside the door to the master suite, wondering if she should just go tell her employer about the ROM courier immediately, or just wait patiently until she emerged? This was not exactly proper use of Tatyana's time, since there was much to do. But frankly, the notion of interrupting her rather irritable boss worried her. She was just standing in the damned hallway, paralyzed by indecision. She wiped her hands together, distressed by how sweaty they were.

And then she heard the shriek from inside the suite. Without another thought, she dashed in to see what was wrong.

In the bathroom...

"Alli!" Karen sputtered, thrashing around to get away from the jet that had assaulted her while her sister cackled gaily. "What are you doing, woman?!"

"C'mon, Kar, play with me!" Alexa squealed, shaking her tits at Karen before gliding in closer. "Think of all the naughty fun we've been missing out on all this time!"

"Alli," Karen moaned, wiping at her face with her hand, trying to compose herself while the other hand attempted to fend off the blonde's relentless advances and groping. "There's not time, I-"

"Ma'am?" called a voice from inside the bedroom suite.

Karen's eyes snapped wide as she recognized Tatyana's voice. With an adrenaline-charged surge of panic, she grabbed Alexa by the top of the head and shoved the blonde completely under the surface of the bubbling, churning water. Alexa didn't have time to protest before being submerged.

"Ma'am?" Tatyana said, rushing into the huge bathroom and seeing Karen in the tub, looking rather panicked. "I heard a shout, is everything all right?"

"Tatyana," Karen breathed, still trying to compose herself while turning to look at her seneschal while keeping her sister under the water. "I... I apologize, I must have been falling asleep and one of the jets kicked in and woke me up very suddenly. You know how it is."

"No, ma'am, I can't say as I do," the Russian woman replied, giving Karen a somewhat confused look. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Downstairs...

"This is one of the bags," Marie said as Les stood at the door, holding it out for her to take.

"That's what I've been told, and our chauffeur Wulff is in a lot of shit" Les agreed, shrugging. "I just know I got told to bring the bag back and give it to you guys and get the one meant for my employers."

"Well, thank you," the botanist and gardener said, nodding. "I will make sure that it is put into the right hands at once and we'll get yours for you."

"Thanks," Les said, standing there at something of a loss now. "So, um... I don't suppose Mrs. DeBourne's daughter is around, is she?"

Marie raised an eyebrow. "Her what?"

"Y'know, her daughter," Les pressed, hoping to see her again. The Ingrams weren't exactly tight about his time on the clock. "Bouncy girl, fun to be around?"

"Ignore him, Marie, there's no such thing as a daughter," Dave grunted as he came back through the foyer and noticed his co-worker standing with some dumb kid. "What's he want now?"

"He brought us back another bag, David," Marie replied, holding up the attaché case. "Would you happen to know where Tatyana is?"

Dave thought about that for a moment. "I think she went up to see the boss lady on the third floor, tell her there's a courier from the ROM."

Marie turned and headed toward the grand staircase. "I'll take this up to her. In the meantime, please see that the last ten of the forty kilogram bags of chernozem are put into the compassion greenhouse?"

Dave sighed in exasperation as he trumped off toward the greenhouses. "Bring me flour from the basement, put the soil in the greenhouse. Why don't you girls just get a broom for my butt so I can sweep the floor on the way out?"

Les just stood awkwardly in the door.

Upstairs...

Marie guessed that if Tatyana had been looking for Mrs. DeBourne, she would be in the east wing suite, so she headed down that hallway. The door to the suite was open, but there was no sign of Tatyana. She could, on the other hand, see the bag Dave had been referring to sitting next to the giant bed.

Time was wasting. She put down the bag she was carrying as she picked up the one intended for the Ingram boy. She knew they were on a tight schedule, and Tatyana hated inefficiency. She trotted off back to the main floor, happy to have done a good deed.

Inside the master suite's bathroom...

"Well, ma'am," Tatyana said rather uncertainly, not used to seeing her employer looking so frazzled. "I just came up to tell you that the intern from the museum is back, looking for your Sargon."

"At least they don't have my underwear," Karen sighed, trying to sound relieved while keeping Alexa submerged somehow. "Thank you, Tatyana, I'll call Nancy once I'm out of here."

The seneschal folded her hands in front of herself and nodded politely before turning around and exiting, closing the door behind her. Once she was gone, Karen exhaled loudly and relaxed, finally taking her hand off Alexa's head. The blonde girl burst up out of the water, gasping for air loudly. Karen took no notice, just settling back against the side of the tub wearily.

"Kar, that was fun!" Alexa said, still breathing heavily, but her eyes dancing with excitement. "Y'can't breathe underwater and then y'get dizzy, it's great! Your turn!"

Before Karen could object, Alexa had grabbed her and gleefully shoved her bodily under the churning foam.

***

Tatyana exited the suite, exhaling and shaking her head. The mistress of the manor was even more stressed out than she'd thought, clearly. She was so tense that she couldn't relax in a jacuzzi, which Tatyana happened to know was one of Karen's favourite things.

She still wasn't exactly clear on how her employer's intimates had become snarled up in all this, and she was reasonably certain she didn't want to ask the one staff member who might know, Miss Prospero. Tatyana wasn't that desperate to figure things out. She just wanted this all over with.

Heading downstairs, she went to check on Theresa, seeing if her plans for dinner had recovered.

Back upstairs...

Having finally escaped Alexa's THC-addled and horny clutches, Karen ambled out of the bathroom, naked, and plunked down on the bed, sighing heavily. She looked dully at the bag before patting it in resignation. This stupid artifact had caused her so much trouble today.

Karen eyed the bag suspiciously.

If it was really the Sargon.

"Oh, of course not!" Karen groused loudly to the empty room as she opened the bag and glared at the coprolite. She fell back on the bed, looking at the ceiling, her arm on her forehead, not giving a damn that she was soaking her silk sheets. The coprolite was supposed to be with Nancy, and this was supposed to be the Sargon! How on earth had the bag transmogrified once again? Karen was starting to think she was jumping dimensions, where each attaché case was never the one she needed.

This nonsense hadn't happened before they turned on the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, she muttered darkly inside her head. I always thought that thing was a bad idea.

"Uh, mom?"

Karen tilted her head up slightly, just enough to look past her boobs and down her naked body at the door to the bedroom, where Alex was standing, looking somewhat confused. Why was she lying down totally nude on her bed when the bishop was due imminently? At least he could see her looking at him, so it didn't feel like he was talking to her pussy.

"You, uh, gottny idea where Alexa is?" he asked. His parents had trained him to not look away when talking to people, but it was rather difficult in this circumstance. "She kinda got away from me. Thought she might've found her way here to molest you or something."

"As a matter of fact, she was trying to drown me a few minutes ago," Karen sighed, going back to looking at the ceiling, not caring at all that her goodies were on display to her son. "I have now lost track of her as well, and frankly, I'm getting to the place where I don't really care where she's scampered off to."

"I'm just tryin' to get her dressed before the bishop arrives; turned my back for half a second and she was gone," Alex explained, standing up now. He was unable to look at his mother without looking at her erogenous zones, so he was simply staring past the mountains that were her boobs at the far wall, still giving the illusion of looking at his parent. He noticed the attaché case. "Which of the bags is that?"

"It was supposed to be the Sargon, but now it's the coprolite," she answered, her voice weary with resignation.

"Well, that's good, right?" Alex reasoned. "At least you have one of them back and accounted for."

"I don't want the coprolite, I want it at Langstaff where it belongs!" she exclaimed in exasperation before sitting up and then standing. Alex had seen her naked countless times in the past; she was not the least bit fazed by it now, even if he seemed somewhat weirded out by it. After all these years, that was on him. "Go find her and get her into clothes somehow. Staple them to her if you have to. I'm going to get dressed again."

Alex nodded and headed out, happy not to be looking at his mother's pubic mound.

Karen now turned and headed over to the closet, knowing she needed to pick out another outfit. After the day's stresses, she doubted her old clothing was up to the task. She walked into her closet, picking out a new blouse, stockings, a soft grey skirt-suit, and some matching jewelry. It was modest but effective.

She was coming out of the walk-in closet, fastening the second earring in place when she noticed that the attaché case that had been on the bed was missing.

She doubted the eyebrow twitch was a good look with her current ensemble.

***

The rose greenhouse, some time later...

The young man looked sheepish as he stood in front of the tall, regal woman, and he was blushing furiously. He couldn't look her in the eyes, her stare was giving him a headache. Frankly, she scared the Hell out of him as she just gazed at him levelly, saying nothing.

"So what you're telling me is that everyone at the Langstaff branch has seen my underwear," she said finally, her arms folded under her bust. "And you didn't even see fit to bring them back?"

"I... no ma'am," he replied quietly, still not looking up. "We were all there was the branch director opened the bag, and..."

"Never mind, I don't need details," Karen sighed, shaking her head before snapping her fingers and pointing at the door. "Go. Go back to the branch and bring my underwear to me. And there had better be no pieces missing, young man, or there will be Hell to pay."

He hurried out the door. Karen sank into a bench built into the glass well, one leg crossed over the other and her chin on her hand while she stared at the rows of flowers, her eyes glinting with annoyance. She'd come in here to hopefully find some peace of mind and composure. So far, no luck whatsoever.

"Even if I get them all back before giving them to Nancy, my underwear will be all over Reddit," she groused to no one in particular. "I should take lessons from Freja and Jeanie about how to monetize this idiocy."

Her smartwatch buzzed and she looked down at it. Someone had sent her a message.

"Late at night and all alone. I don't suppose you have another lovely picture to entertain me with, Kat?"

Oh, not right now, Penrose... Karen despaired, shaking her head. She needed to get the Sargon from wherever it had disappeared to, she needed her underwear back, and there was a case full of petrified dinosaur crap floating somewhere around the manor.

She hoped.

"Theresa, how are we doing on dinner?" she asked as the chef came into the greenhouse.

"I'm doing what I can, ma'am, but it's going to be a strange meal," Theresa confessed. "I don't know how that little monster managed to contaminate all my food."

"Trust me, this isn't even her final form," Karen muttered, quoting one of her son's anime shows.

"Ma'am, do you know what has happened to my Excelsior arrangement?" Marie asked, coming into the room. "It is missing from the formed planter I had it in."

"How does an entire flower arrangement go missing?" Karen asked, frowning. The botanist shrugged.

"What on earth is going on around here?" she demanded, trying to keep her temper. "How hard is it to keep an estate from going to pieces?"

"I'm doin' what I can, ma'am, but today is just one of those days," Andrea said as she entered the greenhouse, wiping her brow. "Not used to 'em around here, gotta admit."

"At least the power is still on," Karen groused, standing up and stocking back and forth now, like a tigress. "And where's Tunde?"

"In his room, ma'am," Andrea replied, shrugging. "Apparently he had a small drink or something and he got kinda green. He's sleeping it off."

"From one little glass of Sherry?" Karen snapped.

"Boss, I found your case with the petrified crap," Dave grunted as he entered, holding up the attaché case. "Your sister had it. She put all the specimens in a circle, had it surrounded by one of Marie's displays, and was trying to fit herself inside the case."

"Excelsior!" Marie gasped in panic before dashing out of the room.

"Give me that!" Karen snapped again, snatching the case from Dave, who looked worried she might bite his hand off. She looked inside, seeing the specimens back in place. She could only hope this was all of them.

"Uh, mom?" Alex said, entering the greenhouse now and holding up his phone. "Why is your underwear trending on Reddit?"

"What?!" Karen almost barked, grabbing her son's phone from him and looking at the article.

Zillionaire heiress' soiled underwear on display at museum by accident!

She was scrolling through the pictures, her mind spinning, the satin underthings mocking her from the photos. At least no name was attached!

"Is that the coprolite, mom?" Alex asked, looking at the case on the bench cushion behind her.

"No!" Karen hissed, backing up slightly so that she was directly in front of the bag, eyeing them all. "This bag is staying with me, end of story! Nobody is to touch it until that brat from Langstaff arrives again! Until I have the Sargon and my underwear, nobody touches anything except me!"

"I guess we went wrong by using identical cases, right, Mistress? Maybe we should've just had Master drop the Sargon off at the ROM since it's so close to where you both work anyway?" Val suggested.

Karen's expression changed, and she went completely silent. Valentina swallowed, realizing only now what she'd done. Everyone else stood still. Maybe Karen's vision was based on movement.

Her golden eyes were almost crackling with wrath, and she seemed to grow over them, taller than the greenhouse should have allowed, her nostrils flaring as she glared at the assembly, her hands flexing and balling into fists. They all quailed, squeezing their eyes shut...

"Madame?" Tatyana said from the door to the greenhouse, her hands folded in front of her while she nodded. "The bishop has arrived, he is in the foyer."

Karen went pale instantly, her eyes wide with dread.

***

"Your Excellency, thank you for coming," Karen said with a cheerfulness she hoped didn't sound desperate as she approached the rather severe-looking elderly man waiting in the foyer. The bishop nodded as she approached while Tatyana took the long coat he was wearing and put it in the cloakroom. "I trust the trip in from downtown wasn't difficult?"

The bishop shook his head before making the sign of the benediction over her. Karen bowed her head and waited in pious silence. "It was fine, thank you. Although I've been told that given my advancing years, I really should consider a chauffeur, at least for church business. Are you aware of the large blast crater on your front lawn, my dear?"

"I am afraid so, your Excellency," she sighed, hoping to keep him from asking further questions along that vein. "A most unfortunate accident, one beyond my control very early this morning. But it is being dealt with, I assure you."

He seemed satisfied with that response and looked around the grand foyer. "Just when I think the cathedral is a little too embellished, I come to your ancestral home and am able to re-evaluate that sentiment. Still, I am pleased by your philanthropy, Karen."

She nodded, her hands folded in front of herself. "It's a legacy, your excellency, and Michael and I maintain it in order to make sure it can be put to good use. Shall we head to the Hooper Study?"

"Where are your son and your sister?" he asked as she took his arm and led him down the hallway to the aforementioned study. He'd been in it several times over the decades, and he appreciated what a resource it was for research on faith. Some of the books and tomes were incredibly rare, and centuries old. "I'm somewhat surprised that they weren't with you to greet me, since this is about them."

Karen's tone was assuring, because she didn't think the actual answer was. "Forgive us, your Excellency, Alli is feeling not herself, and she is sitting down waiting for us. Alex is with her, making sure she's okay."

"Not a contagious matter, is it?" the bishop asked. He was rather renowned in the congregation and the parish as a germophobe.

"No, fortunately," Karen replied, shaking her head. "Something she drank didn't agree with her, that's all. But she will doubtless seem off from the Alli you have come to know. It had some odd effects on her disposition. Please exercise some patience with her."

"I still get to lecture your son, though, yes?" he queried. Apparently he was rather keen on this.

"By all means, your Excellency, let the little brat have it both barrels," Karen sighed. She would have to, somehow, try to keep the agenda on track. "May I have one of my housekeepers bring tea or other refreshments?"

"That sounds pleasant, yes," he said, nodding. "And we can then-"

"AIIEEEEK!" Val shrieked from somewhere on the main floor, her high-pitched voice echoing around the halls. "MORG JUST PUKED A HAIRBALL BETWEEN MY TITS! GROSS!"

The bishop paused, stopping and frowning while listening. Karen waited beside him, her eyes closed, waiting to see if any other shoes dropped. How many feet could this damned estate have? "What was that about?" he asked.

"I'm not even sure I want to know, your Excellency," Karen sighed.

She continued their walk, nudging the bishop into moving again, although he was still looking backward down the hall where the cry of distress had come from. Karen turned him into the study, where Alex and Alexa were waiting. Clearly Alex had heard Val yelp and gave her an inquiring look. Karen just shook her head. Alex stood as they entered, while Alexa remained sitting, a goofy grin on her face as she stared at a lamp that amused her.

"Your Excellency," Alex said, stepping forward and shaking the bishop's hand. "Guess I'll start by getting the first of many apologies out of the way, and thanks for coming."

"Thank you, young man," the bishop said in a rather neutral tone before looking over at Alexa, who Karen was now bending down next to, getting her attention.

"Heya, sissy," Alexa chirped, waving at Karen even though she was right in her face. "Did you know I have really big boobs?"

"Alli," Karen said quickly, cutting her sister off. "We have a visitor."

She turned Alexa in the chair she was sitting in, now facing her toward the bishop. "Alli, remember Fred Peer?"

"Nnnnnope," Alexa said before cheerfully waving again. "Hi! I'm...uh... Alexa?"

"Is she quite all right?" the bishop asked, observing Alexa with a rather wry expression. Her sapphire blue eyes seemed unusually glassy and unfocused.