Mike & Karen Ch. 24

To her secret delight, many of the neighbours were apparently going green, moving toward using solar energy on their properties and having backup generators. It was an uncharacteristically progressive move for the normally staunchly conservative residents of the Bridle Path and its surrounding avenues. True, she had begun working on getting her father to start converting some years ago, but the other properties were catching up rapidly.

Up the stairs and to the third floor, she hummed a happy tune to herself, pausing to have a word with one of her ancestors, the charming Lorraine Blackwell, a matriarch of a branch of the family from the eighteenth century. She seemed to be smiling at Karen, as if acknowledging a job well done.

"We did it, Lorraine," Karen breathed in cheerful relief. "The Sargon is off to the museum, the coprolite to Langstaff, my friend's husband has the underwear, and the bishop approves of Alex and Alli. It was a trial worthy of St. Stephen, no doubt, but we did it."

She turned and leaned back against the wall beside the portrait, smiling and relaxing. "Hard to know what to do at the end of a day like that, but I'll take the victories where I can get-"

VLABADA-BOOOOOOOOOM!!!

The portrait shook on the wall, followed by the sound of Valentina shrieking in fright somewhere in the manor. Not half a second later, all the lights went out. As Karen looked around in wide-eyed confusion, her cellphone began buzzing.

It was the museum.

Another call started coming in behind it, this one from Nancy.

Again? How?!

Then she heard her little sister cackling and start to sing in a slurred, delirious tone from somewhere nearby.

"Hello darkness my ol' fren... you've come to... to... come to fuck my tits again..."

The staff were in a panicked commotion now, everyone wondering what was happening. Karen put her hands over her face, trying to make sense of it all.

And then the thundering voice, all the way down in the grand foyer.

"WIL-MAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Mike bellowed, louder than any mortal she'd ever heard.

Shit! The funding proposal! Karen had totally forgotten! She glanced down at her watch, noticing that it was well after six p.m. The window for submissions had been closed for over two hours! Now they'd have to wait until next year.

Sirens in the distance. She could already hear them.

Staring blankly, Karen walked with slumped shoulders into the master suite, heading for her boudoir. Next to her vanity was a lovely little spirits cabinet. She opened it and pulled out a very expensive bottle of Armagnac and a small crystal glass from the cabinet as well.

Then she walked up to one of the walls and pushed aside a fake bookcase, revealing a secret door. Without looking back, she slid it aside and stepped through the wall, disappearing into the darkness, closing the bookcase and then the door behind her. God would dispose of the rest of this day as He saw fit. Karen was tapping out.

All's well that ends.

***

Author's Notes: Don't forget the stinger after these notes, folks!

Okay, this chapter was a lot of fun to write. One crazy incident after another, and seeing things beyond our darling Karen's control took a considerable amount of detail and timing to get right, especially in what was actually a very short span of time. I spend a lot of time glorifying Karen because I have such a massive crush on her, so this chapter was completely out of left field. But so much fun all the same.

The piece Pax plays at the beginning of the chapter, The Faerie's Aire and Death Waltz, is nuts, and perfectly captures the insanity of this chapter, and Karen's mindset. Go check it out.

Frankly, except for the resolution to the bishop's visit, and Alex's penance for trolling him, none of this is relevant to the story, so expect just about all of it to be treated as a noodle incident, never to be mentioned again. The possible exception is Karen sexting everyone, but even that will be kept under wraps so that she doesn't need to assassinate a bunch of people.

What's with the Corsican cheese? Go read the illustrious 1973 comic Asterix In Corsica. It'll become obvious from there.

If you're a fan of the Alexaverse, you should dive into another story of mine here on Lit, Time Rider. Not gonna say why, just do it.

Interested in being inserted into the Alexaverse or another of my stories in some li'l cameo role? PM or email me and we'll talk, folks. Don't come at me with huge and specific roles, and if you're a dude, don't ask to fuck Alexa or Karen. I've inserted more than a few people now, kind fans, people who donated to my fiduciary well-being, and my editor. If it would brighten your day to get trolled by Alex, get mixed up in some insanity with Freja and Jeanie, or be on the receiving end of Becky's Krav Maga, just lemme know! We'll see what we can do.

On to chapter 25. Get vaxxed, punch Nazis, and donate your underwear to a needy friend, folks. We're all in this together!

- Management

***

Two days later...

Karen was standing in one of the manor's myriad studies, looking over one of Marie's sublime flower arrangements with an appreciative eye. She was in awe of the French woman's creativity and eye for detail. Karen may have had some minor skill in flower arranging and bonsai, certainly, but these creations of Marie's were a wonder to behold. This one gave her such a sense of peace.

"Hey, Kar!" Alexa chimed, bouncing into the room and coming up behind her sister, dressed in jeans and a tight white t-shirt, and her long blonde hair in a high ponytail. "Guess what?"

"What, Alli?" Karen asked, turning around and smiling at her younger sister. Alexa had recovered remarkably quickly from the spiked tea incident and remembered almost nothing.

"I love you!" the blonde girl squeaked, giving her sister a big, joyous, and squishy hug. It always flooded Karen's heart with warmth to be hugged by her little sister.

"Oh, I love you too, Alli," she sighed in contentment, hugging Alexa back and caressing her neck. "So much."

"Hey, there you are, Lexi," Jeanie said as she wandered in and saw the sisters hugging. "Didja tell Lady Prof yet that you trashed the Porsche?"

"Ah-hahhhh, I was just getting to that part, Jeanie..." Alexa laughed rather nervously, hugging her sister a little tighter as Karen's eye began to twitch uncontrollably.

~fin~