All Comments on 'Milf Next Door'

I would hope that you might learn the English language, and how to structure a sentence!

Switching between past and present tense verbs totally ruins your story. That is assuming that the other horrible points don't.

It felt kind of like someone stabbed it a few dozen times, and each blow would have killed it on it's own.

Apparently, she was standing on her head when you were watching her masturbate, but she could only see your hair on your head. Light doesn't bend like that.

She didn't give consent. She was too drunk to give consent if she was passing out. You raped her. Makes this story in the wrong category. Should have been in the 'reluctant/non-consent' category. Honestly though, even in the correct category, it would have been just as horrible.

If you plan on submitting more of your writing for publication, get an editor. Tell them right up front you're clueless when it comes to grammar, structuring a coherent idea, and plot totally confuses you, then let them decide if they want to put in the work that would be required to make it readable.

This goes for all your writing. Ignore the people who claim to like it. It's horrible.