Miss Enid Kirkwood’s Academy Pt. 03

"Nose she's not, comes in have fun dinks with mes!" Tracey stated from her sprawled out position on the floor.

"But Tracey, I don't want her here!" Nelly said soberly.

"Im's goods, so she's, Nells can you'se both help's me up?"

Nelly stood there and looked at both women and sighed.

"Okay come in, I guess you want a coffee?" Nelly then asked Suzy. "I know I need another one."

"Oh, err, not sure, yes, err, thank you. I guess."

***

"You really didn't have to come in, I am fine, oh well done on clearing a seat." Nelly smarmily snapped as stuffed her hands into her hoody, pushing it protectively down her legs a little as she slowly walked into the living room from the kitchen.

"I genuinely wanted to see you, it's okay, but don't you think her leggings will be seen out again?" She faux laughed as she carefully picked up the offending damp item pincering it between her fingers from the seat beside her, before wiping her hand dry on the sofa.

"Yeah, she is just drunk, give her ten or fifteen minutes, she will wake up as she will need another ciggy or potentially a wee, or both and then will be fine!" They both looked across to Tracey practically asleep in the chair dribbling saliva out the corner of her mouth, as she hugged her bottle of vodka as if her life depended on it. "But thank you for the wine, we will drink these, err later" Nelly half joked and almost sounded warm to Suzy, as she carefully carried a tray with three mugs of steaming coffee into the lounge. "I have put them both in the fridge for later."

"I know you don't want me here, but are you genuinely, okay, I am allowed to be concerned, even if it's for your dad's sake?" Suzy said, taking the hot mug from the tray before swapping hands and wincing at the heat.

"I am seriously fine!" Nelly snapped as she slowly lowered the tray onto the table. "I have not been drinking. I've been looking after Tracey." She glanced sideways and tutted at her teacher.

"Of course, I know you are..." Suzy said calmly. "Where is your mum and Harold?"

Nelly looked with alarm at Suzy, "Did they not tell dad?"

Suzy shrugged her shoulders and took a gulp of the coffee, "No, I don't think so, he thought she would be here...that's why...anyway he didn't mention anything!"

Nelly sat down on the sofa next to the now dozing Tracey and crossed her bare legs over, she then pulled her overly alcohol and ash-stained hoody up her thighs a little to attempt protect her thong covered crotch and chuckled as it instantly slipped back down her dark stubble covered thighs. She leant over and picked up her open pack and kindly offered it to Suzy.

Her eyes opened wide with fear, "God no, I haven't had one for years, your dad would be furious with me, and especially you!"

Nelly shrugged as she put a filter between her lips, "How is dad?" She dug into her hoodie to find the lighter.

"He is fine, I know he thinks about you a lot."

Nelly snorted, removed the cigarette from her lips and quizzically studied Suzy "Yeah, I am sure!"

"Oh, come on Nelly he does. He really does care and worries about you. He will be concerned about the state you are in now!"

Nelly ran her hand through her greasy, tangled, matted hair, and shrugged her body before she placed the filter back between her lips, again with a bit of effort fishing in her large hoodie pocket she again found the lighter and with a flick and suck, she swiftly got the cigarette alight. Then exhaled, "Would you believe me if I said I got this delightful stinking habit from the finishing school?" She grinned looking across the room as she instantly brought the filter back to her lips and pulled again.

Suzy looked confused as Nelly's exhale bathed her in smoke. She instantly started politely coughing as the smoke drifted past her.

"Pardon?"

"Tracey here," Nelly pointed with her cigarette trailing a cloud of smoke across her face as she moved it, "is my amazing teacher, she had taught me a lot this last term, especially how to type drunk!" Nelly laughed, shaking her head in the process thinking of the amazing sex afterwards. "Harold is going to so fucking furious with me, I find it hilarious, he thinks he has stopped me drinking...the idiot!" She grinned, and then her eyes clocked the cigarette between her fingers, and she brought it back to her lips and her cheeks collapsed as she pulled hard on her cigarette. Letting the filter and smoke loudly pop from her mouth, before exhaling a cone across the room.

"That's crazy."

"I know I am sorry about her; she likes a drink or two, but to be honest she is way more drunk than I ever thought, I have not seen her that drunk."

"Are you concerned?"

"Nah, we, I mean I go to a drinking school." She sniffed again.

"Oh."

"Also, sorry the coffee is black... as...er...I haven't been out to the shops much."

"It's fine."

"They don't sell milk in the pub..." She then looked sideways at the sofa as there was a cough and shuffle. "Trace, miss, coffee for you, is here?" Nelly shouted as she turned her head. She coughed and sniffed hard once finished.

Tracey again stirred, coughed, sniffled, groaned, and shuffled about in the chair before grabbing the vodka bottle tightly in her hands, the liquid in the bottom sloshed around in the bottle violently before she almost growled before she closed her eyes again.

"Hang on...she taught you, what drunk?"

"Yes," Nelly grinned, "mostly plastered, maintaining that Every Women Needs A Cigarette Between Her Fingers at All Times." She grinned and brought the filter back to her lips.

Suzy looked on with shock. "No, they don't?"

"Yes, we do!" Nelly confidently grinned as the smoke was then forced out of her nose in two streams. "Every Single Cigarette Helps Me Work, Rest and Play."

Suzy's eyes widened "That's a mars bar. What the fuck have they taught you?" She exclaimed between tuts. "That's total garbage!"

"Miss Kirkwood Is very insistent in her mantra that one must have a lit cigarette between our fingers or lips at all times, and it helps if you have a drink in the other...."

"Miss who, this is crazy?" Suzy shook her head in bewilderment.

"Kirkwood, it's the academy finishing school I got sent to." Nelly again rolled her eyes suggesting Suzy keeps up.

Suzy shook her head, "I wouldn't or couldn't have a cigarette, not without a drink, at least, I just couldn't!" She accidently stated.

Nelly smiled, brought her hand the lips, closed her eyes and took a quick pull on the cigarette "Excellent, that's why we drink, Miss Kirkwood is very correct, as always, we shall finish these coffees and get a proper drink!" Nelly smiled.

A pained expression crossed Suzy's face "Oh Nelly, come on, snap out of it, I am alright thanks, I will survive without a cigarette or a drink, as should you, I've got to get home to cook your dad some tea!" She leaned forward to blow on the coffee to cool it "so where is your Mum and Harold?" She quizzed on changing topics, before taking a gulp.

"They buggered off on a world cruise or some shit!" Nelly giggled and slurped her coffee, licking her lips, her tongue slapping loudly against them.

"What you're here on your own? So, what are you doing for Christmas?" Suzy took in the barren room with no decorations up "You've got no tree up, nothing?"

Nelly looked around the empty room, nodded in agreement and then shrugged her shoulders and brought the filter back to her lips and pulled the smoke in to her lungs as the thought about it. "I'm like over eighteen, an adult and I think I will be okay here. I also have Tracey?"

"Errr?"

They both looked at the half naked woman loudly snoring with every breath in the chair, and then back to each other "Oh, yeah...but I haven't got anyone any presents...oh, thanks for the drinks..." She looked back at the now properly passed-out Tracey as she exhaled a plume of smoke.

Suzy's eyes followed as Nelly turned her head back and brought her hand with the burning cigarette back to her lips and watched as they were locked around the filter. Her cheeks collapsed deeply as she pulled the smoke deep into her lungs, before forcing a thick cloud of smoke out into the room.

"You, know you could, or even you both could come to ours, for Christmas, it was just going to be your dad and I, you know, I can cook for the four of us?"

Nelly thought for a moment and studied Suzy's warm, kind looking face, she was only 6 years older than her with so much more pressure, "No it's not fair on you, honestly it would only be for three..." Nelly then coughed as she leant forward to flick the long ash from the cigarette. "I am fine here on my own!" She stated and almost robotically moved her arm, so her filter touched her lips as pulled hard again on her cigarette.

Suzy tutted, "Nells, you're clearly not, please go and have a shower, wash, get your hair clean, you will feel more human, and then come over to ours, spend some time with us?"

Nelly looked around the room as she shrugged her shoulders, "No, I am happy here, nothing wrong with my hair." She attempted and struggled to run her hands through her practically matted, messed up unlocked after locks before sighing and giving up. Her fingers got stuck. She took one last drag on the short butt of her cigarette, leant forward, and squashed it out amongst the other in the tall glass and the picked up her mug of now cool coffee and gulped three mouthfuls in quick succession, she then put the mug down and pulled another cigarette from the pack, again offering it to Suzy, who again politely put her hand up and shook her head as Nelly swiftly light yet another cigarette.

Suzy watched yet another cloud of smoke build in the room, she shuffled her weight and gulped her coffee "Is, Tracey, okay, should we whisper?"

"Yeah, she will be fine, at this academy we all like an afternoon nap, it's almost expected, she will be out for the count for a couple of hours, I didn't get her a coffee quick enough. All she just wanted was more vodka. She probably started drinking way too early this morning, or even last night." Nelly chuckled and tilted her head back and pulled on her cigarette again.

"What has she just arrived?"

"Yeah, about an hour ago, I thought she would turn up this morning after I called her...I almost called...D." Nelly stopped and chuckled to herself "...but I think she got distracted before getting here."

Suzy sighed as she took in the open packs of cigarettes and empty bottles in front of her and nodded "You've clearly also had a drink or two?"

"Oh, god, no. Honestly these are not all today, I had one glass!" She grinned, "I had my friend Karen around on...err Sunday, or was it Monday?" She shrugged her shoulders as her mind was blank.

"It's Wednesday today, Christmas is on Friday."

Nelly screwed her face up as she thought. "Oh, really, then she left Monday, but she had to go home."

"Because she was drunk?"

Nelly laughed and nodded, "Yeah, only a little, okay, yeah, we were both totally fucked, and her parents wanted her home for Christmas. But we had too much fun dancing and drinking. Lots of dancing..." She glanced at the mess in the lounge.

"You're drunk now?"

Nelly's eyes widened in shock as she shook her head "Nah, not at all, I have been drinking black coffee all afternoon. Thought it was wise." She picked up the empty bottle of white wine on the table and shook it and brought the neck to her lips and tilted it back and gulped the last drop and winced at the taste then looked down the open neck to double check if there was anything left. "As Tracey was coming over, I made myself stop. I thought we would have fun getting drunk together...it's, you know, more fun that way." She turned to look sternly at Suzy, "See I am not alcoholic, I can stop myself, as I still had to clean up a little." She grinned and leant forward as she pulled on her cigarette.

Suzy arched her eyebrows and again took in the mess of the clearly untidied living room "Oh I see, I guess plenty of cleaning went on, well don...so go on, can you explain what sort of finishing school you are at, that makes you chainsmoking, drunk?"

Nelly nodded as she held her smoke, then exhaled a long cone, and then licked her lips, sniffed as she rubbed her nose with the back of her hand then gulped for air before she went on to explain the school, and what she has got up to, their rules and a slightly sanitised version of what goes on, only pausing to take hits on her cigarette, or once stubbed out to light the next one.

***

"Crikey, that just sounds just plain head screwing weird and strange!" Suzy exclaimed at Nelly once she had finished the whole story. Nelly smiled at Suzy as leant forwards stubbed out, yet another cigarette as Suzy coughed as the snaking cloud of smoke drifted across the room. She then shuffled in her chair "Before I go, can I use your loo, if that's allowed as I'd rather not ruin my knickers, but I don't want to offend your new religion, unless I really have too?" She said with a hint of sarcasm.

Nelly waved her hand dismissively "Oi, that's not fair, we don't normally wear any knickers to ruin, but yeah, of course, the toilet it's just off the hallway. I've been home a few days and I keep forgetting the floor is carpet and wood with no drains on the floor..." she giggled.

"I guess it saves on the washing of clothes, it just sounds so all revolting and meh, the academy must just stink of booze, cigarettes and urine, how do you learn anything sensible?" Suzy screwed her face up in disgust.

Nelly nodded in agreement "Yeah... I can't lie, both we and it do. Miss Kirkwood says it's much cleaner for our womanhood to go without." She shrugged her shoulders as she soberly contemplated the statement, "But as they say with the amount we drink, what goes in, needs to come out, and we need to keep smoking, whilst we learn Miss Kirkwood's teachings by listening to recordings."

"Right, okay..." Suzy said with little confidence of the statement "Anyway, I need to borrow your toilet."

"Good idea, I will go too, I am so desperate not to ruin Harold's sofa, I've only forgotten once since I have been back...and that was totally Karen's fault...she fell over on me..." She chuckled at the memory as she patted the sofa chair beside her before looking back at Suzy "...but more importantly we can open the fizzy, I think I need one now, my throat is parched!" She grinned as they both shuffled off the sofa. Nelly focused again pulling down her hoody over her buttocks yet again.

With a long look at sleeping Tracey in the chair, "I am not sure, err, Tracey needs anything other than her bed, then, and I really ought to go home." Suzy said, looking at Tracey as she shuffled on the chair, and then quietly snored away on the chair.

"I am not sure if she is staying or going...anyway come on, we can wake Tracey up in a minute and have another drink or two, you said Dad was busy anyway?"

"Hmmm, I probably won't, I will just be two shakes!" Suzy stated they reached the hallway, and she pushed open the bathroom door, hunted for the light switch with her hand and then as the fan kicked in, she swiftly shut the door behind her.

Nelly turned and made her way into the kitchen, she smiled as she rummaged in her hoodie pocket for a cigarette, and placed the filter between her lips, with a flick of the lighter from her hoody she engulfed herself in smoke. With the cigarette in the corner of her lips and smoke twisting from both her nose and the tip, she opened the empty fridge and pulled out the golden foil wrapped bottle of prosecco banging it overly hard on the counter. With a drag on her cigarette for focus, she exhaled through her nose and with her nails she managed to relinquish the metal wire, and started untwisting it with the cap.

She shook her head as a heaving hacking cough, groan and subsequent cough again reverberated from the living room as Tracey stirred in an attempt to wake up. Nelly stopped opening the bottle and stretched up and opened the cupboard and got three cleanish mugs down and put them on the counter, she glanced at the sink full of dirty glasses and wine bottles for recycling. She paused, pulled on her cigarette as deep breath, and then removed the filter from her lips as she exhaled and stayed still holding on to the counter as her urine splashed and trickled down the inside of her legs and pooled around her bare feet on the faux tile linoleum floor, and then wiggled her bum and squeezed her thighs together as little for the last few drops slid their way down to her feet. She then rubbed her sodden crotch and moaned with momentarily pleasure before putting the cigarette back between her lips, she pulled hard on the cigarette, letting the smoke drift from her nose as she grabbed and then dropped a tea towel from beside the sink onto the floor and stood on it attempting to clean her puddle by moving her foot in a circular movement smearing it across the room, before shrugging her shoulders and then continued working on opening the bottle top.

Nelly looked up as the noise of toilet flushing echoed through the hallway and the door opened opposite her "Right, I better be off!" Suzy stated as she walked out the bathroom still drying her hands on her red dress seeing as the dirty towel was long gone. She paused and tugged at her black tights bringing them up over her knees whilst tutting.

"Nah please, stay with me?" Nelly mumbled around her cigarette. It bounced, sending smoke in waves across the room as she spoke.

Suzy chuckled, "As you said you have got, err Tracey, and if I remember correctly, many times over in fact, over the last few years that I am that 'fucking evil bitch' who you wouldn't want to ever see, ever?" She smiled politely.

Nelly took a deep reluctant breath and nodded as the truth hit her. She rubbed her lips and tongue together before again dragging on her cigarette to cover the prolonged silence and flicked the ash in the sink as she exhaled, before turning and looking at Suzy with an apologetic face on. "Maybe still true, but even an evil bitch can stay for a drink. I've nearly opened it, and err, as everyone says, "It's Christmas?"

Suzy looked on from the doorway at Nelly struggling with the bottle, her cigarette dangling between her lips the smoke twisting up over her eyes. "Shall I help you with that?" She asked as she made her way into the kitchen.

"I can do it!" Nelly snapped as she grunted letting a wave of smoke from her nose as she wiggled the cork.

"Come on, let's open the bottle for you, not that you need it, and then I am definitely going." Suzy stated as she made her way forward wobbling her heels on the kitchen floor. "Ooh Christ your kitchen floor is seriously wet and slippery."

Nelly sulked with a little bit of guilt across her face, "It was only a little puddle." Nelly smiled dismissively as she passed the bottle to Suzy.

"Of your pee?" She raised an enquiring eyebrow.

***

Tracey coughed, spluttered, groaned, and then wiped her mouth of dribble with the back of her hand and then with heave loudly hacked another body shuddering and fat reverberating cough whilst still sat in the chair. She slowly opened her eyes as looked around her surroundings whilst scratching her belly looking a little confused. Her head was throbbing, and her stomach was churning, and in her bewilderment as to where she was, she almost dropped the bottle of vodka she was still hugging against her naked chest, eventually stretching far enough that she put it slowly on the table without it falling over. With a further coughing followed by a groan she pushed herself out of the chair instantly falling back in with a large sigh. Sitting there trying to work out where the hell she was. With a deep breath she then wiggled her hips and levered herself out with her hands and staggered and stumbled towards the voices in the other room her dimpled buttocks wobbled and jiggled with every lurching, stuttering step.