Mistress's Journal Pt. 01: Falling

Part One: Falling

When I got married at 20, I thought I knew I was in love. I was so ready to be committed to one person for the rest of my life. Until I wasn't.

The day Steven started on the retail store I was working at was uneventful except for the fact that he was the new music manager...and we already had one. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who noticed that fact. Half of the other employees were upset and the other half were indifferent. I mean, working retail, you are used to a lot of change happening.

The first time that Steven and I worked together I found him pleasant, intelligent, and easy to get along with. Conversation came easy. I realized quickly that I had met a match for my sarcastic wit and I thoroughly enjoyed verbally sparring with him.

His eyes and smile were warm, inviting, and we became friends effortlessly. Steven became a confidant for my frustrations and I learned about the difficulties he and his wife were going through to have children. We started doing things together outside of work, meeting for lunch, going to movies. It felt nice to have a friend to confide in after my best friends had left town after getting married. After moving to a new state, I'm sure it felt nice for Steven to have a close friend as well.

One night, my shift was ending about the same time as Steven's was beginning. As we walked my cash drawer to the office, we chatted.

"Has it been busy?" Steven asked.

"Things have been going in waves," I replied. "It has been busy for a period and then it slows down. Then it gets busy again."

"Great! And I get to close by myself tonight, as the only manager." We had recently lost two customer service managers and they had not been replaced.

"Poor baby!" I teased. "Well, I'll tell you what. Make me a manager and I'll stay and close with you!"

I laughed but Steven stopped walking and looked at me intently. "Are you interested in being a customer service manager, Stacy? Because you know we still have positions open."

"I don't know, maybe," I responded. "Let me think about it. Are you serious?"

"Yes, if you're interested I think it would be a good fit."

After discussing it with my husband, I told Steven that I was interested and training started.

Rainy days in Arizona always seemed to bring people in droves to our store to rent videos. Steven and I happened to be working together one such day.

"Stacy, have you taken your lunch yet?" Steven inquired as he walked up to me as I was checking in videos.

"No, but you can go. I can go when you get back."

"You should go first, you've been here longer."

"Go, I'm busy right now."

I could see he was about to argue, so I added, "Just go!" with a laugh.

Since I was still checking in the never-ending stream of videos I saw Steven re-enter the store. He looked my directions and flashed me a large smile. I was struck by the warmth it contained. Watching him walk towards the back of the store, I realized that raindrops had dotted his white button-down shirt. My eyes took in the snug fit of his black jeans, his thin waist and the wave in his dark hair. I was shaken with the realization that Steven was attractive! I hadn't seen it before! Why?

Shaking my head, I returned to checking in videos, trying to focus on the task at hand rather than this surprising revelation. My mind wandered back to the image of Steven until it was replaced by the real thing standing next to me. I was keenly aware of how close he was.

"Wow, that was quick!" I choked out. "Did you eat already?"

Steven scooted behind me, placing his hand on my back and gently moving me out of the spot I had been occupying. I could feel the heat from his hand and a shiver traveled through me.

"Are you okay?" Steven laughed.

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Go look in the office. I can eat after you."

I stood examining him for a moment, unable to move. I noticed the exact shade of chestnut brown of his eyes, the fullness of his trim mustache, the straight line of his teeth as he continued to grin at me. Finally, I was jolted into action by the embarrassment of my realization that I was staring at Steven. I scurried off quickly, thoroughly confused.

Dinner from one of my favorite fast food restaurants was waiting for me on the desk in the office. I sat unmoving for a moment and pulled my thoughts together. Things had not been going great in my marriage lately I rationalized. So, Steven was attractive! It was nice to have eye-candy around. I had nothing to worry about.

A few weeks after my eye-opening look at Steven we were talking on the phone. Steven was out of town for work but it wasn't anything unusual for us to talk for extended periods of time on the phone, just joking around, catching up or discussing different topics.

There was an awkward pause at one point when it seemed that neither one of us knew quite what to say. I sighed heavily.

"Is something wrong?" queried Steven.

"No, um, not really," I mumbled, unsure. My mind was arguing with itself. Tell him, don't tell him... My attraction to Steven had been growing.

"Stacy, are you okay? Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"I have something I want to tell you but I'm not sure I should," I blurted.

"Okay," he answered, then waited patiently.

"I'm..." I swallowed. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, trying to decide whether to take that leap. "I'm...attracted to you...as more than a friend."

It was quiet for a moment. I held my breath. Why didn't he say something? Oh, god, I shouldn't have said anything! What a fool!

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to you also. I had no idea."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"But we're both married and we shouldn't have these feelings, right?"

"Just because we are attracted to each other doesn't mean we have to act on those feelings. We enjoy each other's company and we can continue to be friends."

"Yes, right, of course we can."

Another pause had me worried. In a panic, I pushed forward. "You're not mad at me or upset that I told you are you?"

"No, not at all! I'm flattered. I've always thought you were pretty."

My embarrassment and disbelief kept me from responding.

"I haven't upset you now, have I Stacy?"

"No, but I really should get going."

"I'll be back tomorrow and I'll see you the day after that. I think we work together."

I lay on the bed after hanging up the phone, my mind spinning, wondering what it would be like to kiss Steven. Then chastising myself for thinking about something like that...especially since both of us were married!

The first night Steven and I saw each other after our conversation was a little strange. It took a while for us to feel comfortable, but by the end of the night we were back to our regular verbal sparring. He stimulates me, mentally and physically. I caught myself sneaking peeks at him all night and there were times I caught him looking at me. We would just smile at each other.

After closing, one of the responsibilities of the managers on duty is to drop the night deposit at the bank. It was about two weeks after my confession that Steven and I were the two closing managers. Protocol is that one manager remains in their vehicle while the other walks the deposit to the drop box. That night he walked it up with me and then escorted me back to my car. I knew something was different. I could feel the electricity between us even though we hadn't touched. At my car, I turned to say goodnight when Steven wrapped me in a hug. It felt so good for him to hold me, so right.

The next night we closed together, Steven parked his car in a parking spot. I followed suit, even though we usually just pulled parallel to the sidewalk leading to the drop box. We walked up together to drop the deposit bag in the chute and then back towards our cars. We were chatting as we walked so I wound up on the side of Steven's car rather than at mine. He reached out to hug me and I anticipated it, wanted it. While his arms were around me, he leaned back on his car. I put my head against his chest, felt the rhythm of his beating heart and felt at home. He kissed the top of my head and I pulled my head away to look at him.

"You're so beautiful," he said softly. The tenor of his voice resonating through my entire body.

I pressed closer to him. Wanting him to kiss me. Wanting to get lost in his embrace. I could feel he was aroused through his slacks.

"I can feel you," I whispered as I gazed into his eyes.

My head tilted upward and to the side, readying for his lips. He bent and kissed me. Softly at first. Just a peck, followed by a few more before our lips parted and I finally tasted his tongue. He drew me closer. My head was spinning as I melted into him. The kiss was long and lingering, like neither of us wanted to break it. I could feel my body responding to the warmth of his lips and the evidence of us desire.

"I think we should say goodnight," Steven sighed, breaking the kiss abruptly.

Our eyes were locked on each other. I imagined we both had the same rush of conflicting feelings coursing through us. Pleasure and joy from our embrace, our kiss, our intense reaction to each other. Guilt and shame that we were both married. I walked shakily to my car. We gave each other a weak smile and parted.

The following day Steven and I spoke about how what happened shouldn't have happened, how we both felt guilty and, though it was very nice, it couldn't happen again. We both agreed.

But, this pattern continued each time we closed together and that seemed to be more often as the days went by. I remember asking him about that one night.

"Closing, again huh?" I pondered aloud.

"Yep, gotta close the store every night," Steven quipped.

"I mean, it seems like we've been working more shifts together it seems. More closing shifts as well."

"Of course, I do that on purpose when I make the schedule."

I shouldn't have been surprised. We both wanted to be around each other as much as we could. When we weren't around each other, we talked on the phone. It became impossible to fight the feelings we had so we started talking about what we wanted to do to each other. How I longed to have him make love to me. How he wanted to taste me.

My husband was the only man I had ever been with. So, my experience sexually was quite limited. However, my imagination ran wild when I thought of Steven. What I wanted to do with him, to him, was beyond anything my husband and I had done with each other. I thought so often of Steven, not just sexually, that I began to wonder if I was in love with him. I had never had feelings so intense for someone else...not even my husband.

On New Year's Eve that year, Steven and I were working the closing shift together. The store had been relatively quiet. As I counted the money from the cash drawers and readied the deposit, he managed the employees who were cleaning and prepping the store for the morning.

He entered the office as I was putting the cash into the deposit bag. A large, warm smile on his face.

"I'm almost done," I told him.

"No hurry. I let everyone else go. We were done." Steven responded.

I looked up at him innocently as he sat in the chair across from me, feeling pressure to finish quickly.

"Let me put the numbers in the computer real quick and I should be done."

"Like I said, there's no hurry."

When I went back into the office, Steven had moved to the chair behind the desk I had been sitting in.

"Done," I sighed as I set the deposit bag on the corner of the desk and removed my apron.

"Good. Come here." Steven reached for my hand and gently pulled me to his lap.

My heart started racing as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. Our tongues danced together. My head spun. I could sense my juices starting to flow as I got aroused. Steven's lips were insistent, his moustache tickling me, his tongue expertly toying with mine. I could feel his desire as I ground against him.

Then I could feel him lifting me onto the desk as we continued to kiss. His right hand was pushing my skirt up, grazing my thigh as he did. His left hand was tangled in my hair, gently keeping my mouth pressed on his. I felt a little shaky, but lost..caught up in the passion of the moment.

Steven's right hand had continued up my thigh and reached my panties. I felt his fingers slide inside of the fabric and then one finger slide inside of me. I moaned with pleasure, adjusting my position on the desk to allow him better access. "You're so wet," he whispered huskily.

As his finger slid back and forth within me, Steven kissed my neck. I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the wonderful sensations he was creating. He was playing my body like a finely tuned instrument and I responded to every touch without having the think at all.

I felt my panties being peeled from my dripping pussy and tugged down my legs. Steven looked lovingly into my eyes and I leaned forward to kiss him, gripping his face in between my hands. I had no idea what he had in store. I thought that soon he would slide his cock inside of me. Instead, when we broke the kiss, he sat in the chair, pulling me to the very edge of the desk. He placed my feet on his shoulders.

I gasped as I felt his tongue lick me. I tossed my head back and moaned as he continued to lick my aching pussy. He tongue felt amazing! Then he sucked my clit into his mouth and teased it with his tongue. I'd had this sort of experience only once before, with my husband, but it produced nothing near the sensations and pleasure I was experiencing as Steven continued to lick and suck that sensitive area.

I peered down to see Steven watching me. His brown eyes filled with desire, lust, and love. My hand found his head and my fingers played in his hair as I continued to moan from pleasure. Slowly, he slid a finger back inside of me. I arched my back and muttered an, "Oh!". I began to grind against him. When I looked at him again, I could see his smile around his chestnut eyes.

I leaned back on the desk. I felt my legs opening wider because I wanted Steven so badly. My eyes were closed again as he was sucking on my clit and sending small tremors through me. My heels dug into his shoulders, pressing him closer.

"Oh, god, Steven," I moaned breathlessly and began to shudder. "Oh!"

"Yes," Steven breathed. "Yes, Stacy!"

Waves of intensity gripped me. My pussy contracted around Steven's finger and I ground, hard, against his hand as I continued to cry out. I had never experienced an orgasm with my husband.

Steven stood, undid his belt and slid his pants down to reveal an enormous erection. My feet were still planted on his shoulders as he entered my steaming pussy slowly. I could feel every inch of him filling me and I pressed against him.

"Ah, you feel so good," Steven cooed.

"Mmm, yes!" I cried.

He held my hips as he moved back and forth inside of me. Incredible feelings of ecstasy washed over me as Steven bent to kiss me. I sucked his tongue into my mouth, moaned as he pressed deeper inside of me. He moved faster. I could feel myself grip is hard cock as I met each of his thrusts. I grabbed his ass to pull him even deeper inside of me and he came.

We ground against each other breathlessly for a few moments. Steven moved my feet from his shoulders and I wrapped them around his waist as his torso came in contact with mine. Our sweat mingled. He planted small kisses on my breasts, my neck and then finally kissed me deeply, passionately.

I brushed my fingers and nails lightly across his back as we quietly enjoyed each other. Then I played with his hair, running it through my fingers. I gently traced the features of his face with my thumb. He kissed me again.

"We should probably go," I whispered, though I did not want the moment to end.

"Yeah," he replied, helping me from the desk, retrieving my panties from the floor and helping me smooth my skirt down my legs. Steven held me for a moment looking deeply into my eyes and then kissed me passionately but tenderly.

We made deposit. Hugged afterward near our cars and then kissed before parting. On the way home, I came to the realization that I was in love with Steven and I was pretty sure he was in love with me.