Mixed Emotions Pt. 01

As I moved my chair back she sat straight in her chair, "Damn girl, you're in love with this guy aren't you? So, he's the real deal huh? Wow, just wow."

As she was walking away I called her back, "I have to tell you Ang, it's happened so fast it scares the hell out of me. I thought I'd gotten to the point where I would never be vulnerable again, never care for another man again, that's no longer true, he woke something inside me. I don't mind being intimate with him, but he's gonna have to earn my heart, I'm too old to play games."

"Now that's the Amy I know, the sex might be great but your right, he needs to win your heart if you two stay together." As she walked away I heard her mumble, "A white boy, never woulda believed it."

The morning seemed to fly by, at lunch I let Angela answer the other girl's numerous questions, after all she thought she knew everything they needed to know. By the time lunch was over you'd have sworn Ed had ridden in on a gallant steed and carried me off into Sherwood Forest. He sent me a text about three with a kissing emoji and a *hi, I miss you*.

I texted at three fifty-five and told him I'd be by his office for the key about four fifteen. I got a thumbs up and smiley face. Walking into the lobby of their office area I was impressed by how professional it looked, I stopped at the receptionist and told her I was there to see Ed.

She smiled a devious smile, "You must be Amy, I'm Rita, he's done nothing but talk about you for two days. He's on a conference call he couldn't postpone or re-schedule, he said to give you these, his house key, address, and security code. You'll need to enter the code within two minutes of opening the door, it's only four digits, easy peasy for a smart woman like you."

I must have looked like I was in shock as she stood and came around the desk, guiding me to a chair she sat me down.

"Don't be alarmed, he's as gentle as a lamb when it comes to the fairer sex, this isn't something he's ever done before, you are obviously very special to him."

My mind was racing, "But, isn't he afraid I might take something or, I don't know, it just seems so unreal."

"Well Amy, are you planning to take something or whatever? Nope, didn't think so and neither does Ed, he's a tremendous judge of character, I can tell you he wouldn't be doing this if he didn't trust you. Any idea where you're going for dinner?"

I was caught off guard, "Dinner, oh my gosh I forgot he wanted me to choose where we go. I haven't been invited to choose where I eat dinner in so long it completely slipped my mind."

Pulling me up she bent to whisper, "He likes Logan's Steak House, no it isn't fancy but he likes it, you won't go wrong suggesting that."

His house wasn't elaborate, a three bedroom, two bath with an attached three car garage in a nice part of town but ritzy in no way, I lived a mile or so away in an apartment complex so I was fairly familiar with that part of town. The interior was done nicely, it had a definite *maleness* to it but it was also obvious there had been a woman's touch, I figured his sister or maybe his mom. When I left his office earlier I stopped by my place and changed clothes, especially my panties which were sufficiently dampened by the anticipation of the evening.

I wasn't sure what to wear and decided I was going for the gold, if we ended up in bed he was going to like what I was wearing under my dress. I chose a bright white sheer panty/bra combo and white diamond shape thigh high stay ups, the three inch heels matched the color of my simple button down dress cinched at the waist and flowing into a skirt that ended a few inches below mid-thigh. I pirouetted once causing my skirt to rise up high enough I could see the tops of my silk hose. Mmm-hmm, this would do nicely, if this ensemble didn't make his dick hard nothing will.

I heard the garage door open and then his key in the entry door to the kitchen, I was on the loveseat waiting, I'd only been there a bit over five minutes. He walked directly to me, reaching for my hands pulling me up, my arms went around his neck as he softly kissed me, his hands on my butt cheeks caressing, softly kneading, pulling me against him but not aggressively. My breasts were pushed tight to his chest as he made my heart swoon with his magical lips.

Breaking the kiss he looked in my eyes, "Hello beautiful, were you waiting long? No. Good, let me take a leak, wash my hands and we'll go, got any idea where you'd like to go?"

When he returned he'd changed his shirt and lost the tie, with raised eyebrows he looked at me, "How about we go to Logan's?" I asked.

He chuckled, "Ah, I see you were talking with Rita. That sounds great, I like their New York Strip, may I escort you mahlady?"

Holding his arm out I slipped mine through his and we headed to the garage. I'm not sure what I was expecting, there was a four or five-year-old Ford Fusion and a new looking pickup. He led me to the truck and as he opened the door a lighted foot bar swung out from beneath the door, I was duly impressed, it may have been a truck but it wreaked of elegance ... as much as a truck can wreak of elegance. The interior didn't look like the inside of any truck I'd ever been in, the seats were comfy and I noticed the little switch on the console to turn on the heated seat. It wasn't winter yet but it was cool, I figured warming up the playground before and after dinner wouldn't be a bad idea.

While driving I thought about the conversation Angela and I had just before we finished for the day, we happened to be in the lady's room at the same time when a simple greeting turned into a ten-minute talk. Gently taking hold on my elbow she asked.

"Amy, are you sure about this? I mean, you met the guy two nights ago and now you're going to his house? He may be a great lover but what if he's some kind of serial killer, they can be charming to, then they rape you and slit your throat."

I was laughing quietly, "You watch way too much television Ang. I don't think there's a mean bone in that man's body, he's soft and gentle with me, I adore being with him, he's made me happier in the three days I've known him than I have been in the last fifteen years."

"Soft, kind, gentle, who wants some pansy ass pussy in the bedroom, you need a brother to take care of you like a real stud, you know, somebody to breed you."

I'd had enough, "Pansy ass, I don't think so. That man takes my pussy any way he wants to and does it in such a way that I can't wait to offer myself, hell, I've even considered giving him my ass and I swore to myself that would never happen. As for being bred, I'm not some animal who goes into heat and needs breeding, that right there is part of the reason I haven't gone out with the *brothers* as you call them, to many of them talk like that and I'm having none of it."

Angela looked almost put out, "Damn girl, I didn't mean to piss in your cornflakes. Chill Amy. I aint sayin you can't go out with him, just be careful."

I pulled her in for a hug, "We been together way too long to be at odds Ang, I love you, you know I do, but I'm done doing things because somebody else says I should or shouldn't. My mama told me to stay away from white boys just like your mama did, except the guy who's won my heart in a matter of a few short days happens to be just that .... white, Caucasian, white bread, or whatever they're referred to as. I'm done with that way of thinking Ang, I'm going to be in that man's arms just as long as he'll have me."

As she pushed back we held hands in front of our bodies like schoolgirls will do, then Angela spoke.

"I want to be excited for you Amy, and I am, I just don't want you to be hurt. If you say he's the one, then who am I to argue, be careful though honey, don't rush this thing."

Walking back to my desk I knew her words were meant to be cautionary and not judgmental, and she was right, things were moving at warp speed, yet somehow I wasn't concerned, Ed, my Eddy, seemed to be in complete control of our self-created Enterprise spaceship. Arriving at Logan's he told me to stay seated so that he might get the truck door for me, I had never been treated so elegantly before.

As he opened my door I opened my legs just enough to tease without being too obvious, he chuckled as he took my hand, "You're a very naughty girl, I believe I'll have to punish you with my rod of correction later."

I squeezed tight to his arm holding him against me as I whispered, "Mmmm, sounds delicious, I can't wait for you to beat the insides of my kitty with your rod. Will you have enough energy for me to have a power load of protein injected into my throat as well as my hungry pussy? I'm new to oral but I want to get better."

He growled as we walked, "You nasty little cunt, you've made my dick hard, we need to stop for a minute so I'm not walking in there with a hardon. Before you get upset, I like you being a nasty little cunt, as long as you're MY nasty little cunt."

I put my mouth to his ear as we stood in the lot waiting for him to soften, "I'll be anything you want me to be Eddy, as long as it's only you and you don't treat me like a slut in public. The bedroom, yes, please, in public, no."

He turned so I could be in his arms looking directly into my eyes, "I would never treat you that way Amy, I know we've only known each other a few days but I've never been with anyone like you, I've never felt so head over heels attracted to a woman like I am to you. I'm well aware there's a cultural and age difference between us but I don't care, I'm falling for you Amy, not a skin color. Am I making any sense?"

I had all I could do to not cry, and then said screw that as I burst into tears with my face buried in his shoulder, he wisely said nothing simply holding me tight. I felt him move and then his tender fingers hand me a hanky, who the hell carries a hanky anymore? Eddy, that's who. Wiping my eye's I leaned back,

"I don't know what to say Ed, I'm like you, I've never before felt this magnetic attraction, this need and desire to be with you constantly, this passion to give my body to you any way and any time you want me, I'm a little frightened if I'm honest. I don't want to be hurt again."

He kissed me soft and tender, with my arms around his neck and his around my waist he drew me tighter Frenching me deep and slow, exploring my tongue with his, his right hand squeezing my butt as he pulled us apart.

"I'm not going to hurt you Amy, I know this sounds outlandish and careless, but I'm falling in love with you, I'm like you are, I want to be with you every waking moment. I want to be making love to you in some form or fashion all the time, I sit at my desk with an erection thinking about what you might be wearing under your dress. Are we insane Amy, have we gone of the trolley tracks, are we setting ourselves up for absolute doom?"

Though it was seconds it seemed like I'd stared into his eyes for hours before I answered, "If we're insane I like being crazy, if we've gone off the rails I like four wheeling, if we're setting ourselves up for doom we'll do it in each other's arms. I may sound as outlandish as you, I'm falling for you hard Eddy, if I've ever known love like this before I can't remember when. You know, you could take me back to your place and screw me senseless right now, I wouldn't mind."

Softly stroking my face he smiled, "That's a wonderful idea, but I have other plans to start our evening."

Normally Logan's doesn't take reservations, at least ours didn't, he had apparently been there so often they changed the rules for him, escorting us to our table my heart began to beat faster as I noticed the table we were being seated at had a huge bouquet of red roses in the middle. The chairs were opposite each other, Ed moved that chair and seated me before he sat to my immediate left, we weren't in a booth, as close as we were we may have as well have been. I leaned over to kiss Ed, holding his hand in mine.

"Thank you darling, I haven't had roses since my wedding oh so many years ago and that was only because my mother insisted I have roses at the head table. They're beautiful, I'll have to think of a special way to say thanks."

Ed scowled at me speaking just above a whisper, "No fair, stop it, my cock is hard as it is. I'm ready to bend you over this table, drop your panties and plant myself inside you as it is, please baby, no more teasing until we leave."

I sat back feeling hot and flush, if my skin hadn't been a brown color I'd have been beet red, I could feel my pussy spasm and my body tremble as the juices filled my pretty panties. Truth be told, if it wouldn't be so embarrassing for both of us I'd have done exactly as he said, I decided that when we got to his place I was going to do as he wanted. I would bend over the kitchen table, raise my dress, tell him to remove my wet sticky panties and bury his cock all the way to his balls. My body shook again as I thought about it, making the gusset of my sheer white panties even more wet, I squeezed my thighs together trying to stop the mini-climax I was experiencing. To no avail.

Thankfully, the waitress appeared asking what our preference in beverages might be. It made both of us stop thinking like sex starved twenty-year old's in their honeymoon bed. Dinner was enjoyable from beginning to end, we kept conversation in check on the way back to his place, we had talked about going dancing, until I put my hand on his and smiled.

"Take me home and ravage my body Eddy, I don't want to dance tonight, I want to enjoy that hunk of meat between your legs all night long. Take me home and screw me lover boy, sink that big white cock deep into my little brown pussy until our bodies meet, make me scream baby, make me scream."

Walking into the kitchen from the garage I asked him to please take my purse and coat in the other room, when he walked back in I was bent over the kitchen table, my dress bottom was up to my waist and my legs were slightly parted. Looking back over my shoulder I purred.

"Take these panties off and bury that sausage in my hot little cunt, let the cum drip on the floor when we're through. Give it to me Eddy, give it to me now."

That was the beginning of a weekend long lust-fest, he took me again later that night, or should I say I took him as I rode with abandon, my tits moving up and down when he wasn't holding them, my hips grinding back and forth, me bouncing my ass against his pelvis as he pounded up into me. He had cum so hard we were both a mess, in the shower I asked him to do me doggy to which he agreed but wasn't sure he had anything left, he did, not as much as usual but he left some inside me.

Thinking I might stay the weekend with him I had thrown together an overnight bag with toiletries and a change or two of clothing. For the second time in a week I awoke to him gently stroking in and out of me, it was as good this time as the one before, I decided he could wake me like that all he wanted.

Saturday morning was breakfast out followed by a small grocery shopping, just after lunch I wanted him to do me in the den, he obliged by bending me over the back of an armed chair, he knew I liked it from behind and gave me a good solid fucking. That night I was conflicted, I wanted to give him my ass but I was afraid at the same time, he sensed something out of whack and drew me onto his lap placing his hand over my mound just holding me without playing.

"What's going on in that pretty little head princess? You seem agitated."

It took me a few seconds to respond, and even then it was in a very reserved tone, "I want to give you my ass but I've never done it before and I'm afraid it will hurt too much. I've read that being butt fucked can be very painful."

Turning my face to his he kissed me, "We don't need to do that love, I'm happy with your kitty and your mouth. Maybe in the future if we're both okay with it, but I don't need your virgin ass to know you love me."

"Have you ever done that Eddy, I mean anal?"

"I have, it can be enjoyable if both people are prepared, there are what they call butt plug kits starting with smaller working up to larger, the idea being that by the time you're at the larger size your rectum will be more adept to receive me. Not all women climax from anal though, and I may be in the minority but if you aren't going to climax and I do, it won't feel right to me, why don't we give that idea some thought and talk about it again at a later time?"

"I like that Eddy, you're so good to me."

"Yes I am, now spread those legs and prepare to be fucked woman, and there better not be any whining either, take it like a woman."

Playing along I smiled, looking into his eyes as he began pushing into me, "Yes daddy, I'm your little fuck toy, give me all you've got and don't be gentle, fuck me hard, I want it doggy when you cum."

We were worn out enough from two days of satisfying one another that we slept until Sunday morning. I played around in the kitchen getting a beef roast ready to go in the oven while he did lawn work. I took a large glass of fresh lemonade out to my sweaty man as he finished, sitting on the patio he took my hand.

"Amy, I could live like this forever, I love being with you. I wish couples didn't have to go through all the dating and engagement junk before they got married, if you know you're in love then why wait? To me it makes no sense."

At the moment my mind was a whirlygig, did he just mention marriage? We hadn't known each other a week and the word marriage fell from his lips as though it was a part of his regular vocabulary. Sitting in silence since I had no idea how to respond I contemplated what he had said. Why do people wait when they're old enough to know what they want, we were certainly compatible in bed, he was a successful business man with a very promising future, I knew what I didn't want again making it easy to know what I did want .... someone like him. Though it seemed like hours which I'm sure was only minutes I was shaken from my thoughts by Ed repeating my name.

"Amy - Amy - Amy are you in there? Did I offend you? I'm so sorry if I did, sometimes it would be better if I kept my mouth shut."

"Sorry Ed, I was thinking and got lost in my thoughts. I need to ask you something and I want an honest answer. Did you just refer to us being married, as in husband and wife, for better or worse, to have and to hold, a forsaking all others until death do us part kind of marriage?"

He looked at me concerned, "Yep, I did. If I've ruined things and you want to leave I'll understand."

"You've ruined nothing Eddy, come inside where it's cooler and we can be comfortable on the loveseat."

I waited for him to sit then plopped my sweet cheeks onto his lap while I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Sweetie, I'm flattered and amazed that someone as special as you are would consider an older woman like me as a candidate for marriage. Then there's the difference in skin and cultures, are you prepared for what people would say if you married a girl with brown skin? I'm almost ten years older than you, are you sure you would still be happy with my body, my wrinkles, my diminished sex drive and the sag of my body at sixty-five? Think about it, you'll only be fifty-five and still full of spunk."

He laughed, "I have a number of clients who are further apart in age than we are, and as for me being full of spunk when you're older, then you'll be full of that spunk because it isn't going into anyone else. My folks were sexually active into their late seventies, there's nothing to say we can't enjoy one another in old age."

I figured my next question would push him away, "What about kids? I never wanted them with my ex and my clock is ticking, I'd love to have kids with you but it would have to be right away. Are you sure you would want that?"