MoLex Pt. 04

"What do you wanna say to him?"

"Go to hell for not picking up the phone all this time." She said jokingly. But then she wistfully added, "and that I miss him."

"Then you should do that."

Monique let out a loud groan like she was frustrated, but really, it was because she was scared. "I was so awful to him, Toni. What if he hangs up in my face?"

In a motherly tone, Toni said, "He won't."

____________________________________________

Alex looked around at his new, temporary home; if one could call this that. Hotel rooms all tend to look the same. They are inviting, but emotionless; almost like they want you to be comfortable, but at the same time they're saying don't get too comfortable.

He dropped his bag, let out a sigh, and flopped down on the bed. That liberated feeling that swarmed inside of him when he first walked out of his childhood home had all but evaporated. Now, he was faced with the reality of his situation. He was literally homeless, and his options were few.

He couldn't stay here forever. Where was he going to live until he found a place? With Sarah? Her and Daryl only had a two-bedroom apartment. He'd be sleeping on her couch. Also, as much as he loved his sister, that option was more a worst-case scenario. He knew how she was, and how he was. They'd end up killing each other before he could put down the deposit on his new spot.

His best friend Greg would put him up for a while, but he only had a studio apartment. His place was basically a large bedroom with a kitchen and a bathroom. He didn't even have a couch to crash on.

His thoughts went to Mo. At one time, he could've asked her to host him for a while. Would she have done it? Would she have let him move in with her? What would it have been like to live together?

He shook those thoughts away. What did it matter now? She was gone, and probably wasn't even thinking of him.

His only option right now was to use some of his savings and book the room for the week. From there, he could come up with his next step.

His phone rang, snapping him from his empty thoughts. He snorted at the sound. It was probably his dad, calling to hurl some verbal abuse at him. Being over his father at this point, he had half a mind to let it go to voicemail without even looking to see who was calling him.

But it could also be Sarah. Or Brianna. Or even Greg for that matter, telling him that he wasn't coming to work tomorrow.

Conceding, he grabbed his phone and looked at the screen. Then, his heart stopped beating.

Oh shit.

Of all the people, he was not expecting Monique's name and smiling picture to light his screen up. The vibrations of his phone ringing in his hand seemed to reverberate throughout his entire body. Even after all this time, he could smell her scent whenever he thought of her.

"Hello?" He answered after the third ring.

"Hey Alex." She said, her soft voice sounding like music to a guy who'd just got his hearing back. "How are you?"

Looking around his small hotel room, he lied and answered, "I can't complain. How about you?"

"I'm good, I guess."

Neither knew what else to say, but it was Alex's turn to speak. Struggling for something to throw into the conversation, he said, "I just came back from the amusement park. Today was Brianna's birthday."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How old is she?"

There was a bit of pride in his voice when he said, "14. She'll be a freshman this year."

"Oh my god!"

"I know, right!"

"Wow."

Of course, this was just shallow conversation to cover for the fact that they weren't saying what they really needed to be. Neither had the courage to broach the 4 months of unspoken heartbreak, or the neglect they felt at the hands of the other.

Monique did have another reason for calling though; a question she needed an answer to. Alex never saw it coming.

"Did Hector have sex with Summer?"

Hearing that name come from Monique's mouth was so unexpected that it didn't seem real. He'd just told Brianna the story behind her. It was like Summer was coming back to haunt him, like the ghost from Christmas past.

"Uhhhmmm...where...did you hear that?" he asked, his brain finding difficulty in forming the words.

"Long story." She said. It wasn't really, but she didn't want to add to Alex's horror of revealing that her brother lost his virginity in a gangbang with her. "Is it true? Was Hector the guy you dropped her off to?"

After a pause, Alex's voice was low as he said, "Yeah."

"Fuck."

She was quiet once again, processing everything. Finally, she asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

As she said that, she felt anger starting to rise inside of her. Shit she'd been trying to overlook now came rushing to the surface.

"Why don't you ever tell me anything? Why do you always have to hold shit in? How could you sit there watching me work out with him and not say ANYTHING?!!"

"I...I don't know." Alex stammered. "It was a while ago, when we were 18. It seemed silly for me to still be holding onto that, and I guess I didn't wanna tell you who to be friends with out of jealousy."

"Fuck you, Alex!" she said in a burst of emotion. She could feel the heat from her tears burning her eyes. It was evident in her voice, too. Her level of anger was irrational, and Alex was confused by it. But then, in a softer voice brimming with dejection, she said, "I thought you loved me!"

This isn't just about Hector.

"I do." Alex said, not realizing he was using present tense in the face of her past tense.

But she caught it. It made her gasp. With hope in her voice, she asked, "You do? You still love me? After everything?"

She emphasized her words in present tense to make it clear what she was asking. Alex didn't even need to think about it before saying, "I'll always be in love with you. I don't think I can stop."

"Oh god, Alex!" She said with a catch in her throat. Those words were like perfect arrows hitting the bull's eye. "Then why? Why the hell did you leave me? If you love me so much, why haven't you called me in four months? I know I messed up with the whole Trey thing, but you have to know that I don't want him. We could've worked things out. But you...you just left. Why?"

Those were questions Alex asked himself every day. He pondered it, hoping to gain insight. The answer, he found, was staring him in the face. "Because I was afraid."

"Of what?"

With a sigh, he said, "Seeing you with Trey was more than heartbreaking. It was devastating. You may think that it was the sex that hurt the most, but it wasn't. I was more hurt by the fact that if Trey is the kind of guy you want, then we're doomed. I'm not domineering like him. I'm not a cocky asshole. And If you're just gonna wind up leaving me anyway, then..."

His voice trailed off, but Monique got his message. It was frustrating though because his insecurities kept missing the point.

"But I don't want Trey, Lexxy. I want you." she whined.

"Then why did you want me to fuck you like he fucked you?"

She let out a sigh. "I didn't want you to fuck me like HE fucked me. I wanted you to fuck me like...like in my dreams."

"Huh?"

As much as she chastised about him sharing with her, she found it hard to share her little vulnerability with him. But she bit down the embarrassment and started telling him everything. She explained her hidden kink that she had, how she enjoyed a bit of gameplay from time to time. It wasn't the fact that Trey did it that made her like it, he just happened to be the one she shared it with. He was her fiancé, after all.

Then, she told him about the dreams; how he'd been the feature attraction since back when he was with Cameron. The dreams only intensified as time passed, and the tension had started to build inside of her.

In hindsight, exposing Alex to her freaky right after he watched her get pounded out by her ex-asshole was a BIG misfire. The message it sent him was not what she wanted to send.

"You're so much better than he is, Lexxy." She capped it all off with. "If you've never believed anything I've said, believe that. You eclipse him in every way that matters. Full disclosure, he has a bigger cock, but who cares? There is something more than sex that exists between us. When we are making love, its more than your cock inside of me. We're connected. I can give you a hand job and walk away needing a cigarette."

Alex had to chuckle at that last part. Also, he couldn't ignore the stirring in his cock as memories of her last hand job flooded him. It wasn't just the hand job itself, but the way she held him as she did it. It was so...loving.

She was right. There was more to them than sex.

"When my mom left my dad, it broke him. The man we all knew was gone, and he was replaced with...I don't know. Something else. Over the years, I've watched him slowly disintegrate into nothingness. She broke him, utterly and completely. I...I can't live like that."

Monique gulped down the lump in her throat. She heard him this time. His insecurities made sense to her now. Alex's heart had been abandoned so many times it's a wonder the thing still beat.

But he didn't realize one thing. Monique was in the same boat. From the first day in his car, there was an unexplainable connection between them. Even before their relationship was romantic, he grew roots into her life. He was anchored to her, deeper than she let even Trey get. The way he left her on that bathroom floor was akin to a hurricane ripping a tree from the ground.

"Lexxy, if you only knew how much I love you. I don't think you'll ever understand what you did to me when you left me that day. My heart is in just as much danger as yours."

"Really?"

"YES!" she answered emphatically. Her emotions were raw. Four months of lonely frustration had eroded her into an exposed nerve. "And you know what? It's really infuriating that you're surprised by that! How many times do I have to chase you for you to get it through that fucking head of yours? I just wish, for once, you would see yourself how I see you. Why can't you just let me love you?"

If Alex never heard anything else she said, he heard that. There was no doubt in his mind that she meant ever word.

"I hear you." he said.

"Do you?"

"Yeah."

Monique blew out a sigh. Then, as if she'd been waiting to say this, she said, "I miss you."

"Yeah, I miss you too. Life just isn't fun without you."

"I know, right!" she said, her voice excitedly raising in pitch. "I haven't even been able to finish Grey's Anatomy!"

Their mingled laughter sounded complete, like a unified choir singing a chord. Alex found himself smiling, and it felt like he hadn't done that in ages.

The two of them talked well into the night. They didn't talk about anything in particular; they just enjoyed each other's company like they used to. Conversation was easy again, flowing seamlessly as they strolled from one topic to the next.

Alex's hotel room didn't seem so grim and depressing anymore.

It wasn't until his phone beeped with the low battery message that he had to reluctantly tell her he had to hang up. It was 2 am.

"Aww...what?" she said not hiding her disappointment. "I'm not ready to let you go yet."

He chuckled. "I know. We haven't spoken like this for a while."

"Too fucking long!" she agreed with him. Thinking on that, she said, "This is what we lost, Lexxy. Right here."

"Yeah. This is what MoLex is about." he agreed wistfully.

Even with her having to wake up in 4 hours to get ready for work, she was reluctant to end this call. A part of her felt like this was a dream, and if she let him hang up, she'd wake to the realization that none of this happened.

With a huff, she said, "Fine. I guess it is time to get to sleep. I'll let you go under one condition."

"What's that?"

"You call me tomorrow. Or...today, rather."

"Deal."

She smiled into the phone. It felt like her first true smile since he dumped her. "Okay then. Talk to you later. Bye Lexxy."

"Bye Mo."