Mom Overboard

With an arrogant smirk on his smug adolescent face, and walking toward his spectacularly imperious mother to help her as requested, Will Parnell made a snap-decision that would provide joy for many, the undoing of two and otherwise alter significantly the balance of power at the Davidson community pool.

"As if Tabash," the young preppy mocked the former captain of his high school crew team, "maybe you should head back to Cambridge early."

In an instant, Aaron Tabash's humiliation turned to anger. It was one thing to have to endure a public tongue lashing from Mrs. Danielle Marie Parnell but quite another to be insulted by her equally egotistical pipsqueak of a son. Although a genuine beat down of the little jerk would no doubt get him kicked off the Harvard crew team if not expelled from school, Aaron was willing to risk a little shoulder to shoulder contact so, as Will walked by toward his waiting poseur of a mother, the sizable collegian gave the smaller boy an "accidental" shove which precipitated quite the domino effect.

Knocked off-course by the unexpected push that came from Aaron Tabash, young Will Parnell caught his foot on a lounge chair which in turn caused him to fall face first into the back of his sister who had just returned from the kitchen with her mother's promised champagne in one hand a tray of hor d'oeuvers in another. Pushed forward by her brother's fall, Anna Parnell launched both the glass and tray into the air as she careened toward -- who else -- but her as yet unaware mother who was standing at the pool's edge.

"Mom -- look out," cried Anna causing Danielle to quickly turn around just in time for the barbecued tuna hor d'oeuvers to crash head-on into the sexy silk white crop-top snugly holding her ample cleavage and the champagne to hit her squarely in the face.

"What the..," shouted the startled starlet before the food and champagne shower hit her and Anna, hands out to stop her own fall, sent her stumbling backwards in her towering golden heels.

Although almost everyone present was already in stitches at the scene playing out before them, Emily Duncan, who earlier in the day had borne one of Danielle's typically cruel barbs, saw a way to prolong the spectacle and, without even a shred of guilt or remorse, acted on it. Extending a false hand toward the still stumbling diva to help relieve her of her fancy little jacket, Emily Duncan surreptitiously stuck her foot out behind the backpedaling barrister which sent the already discombobulated Danielle literally flying into the pool.

As the shocked but uproariously laughing onlookers watched, the perennially fashionable Danielle Parnell, now covered with food, was knocked by her own daughter's hands (and Mrs. Duncan's well placed foot) out of her sky high heels and into the deep end of the Davidson pool. To add fuel to the fire of her indignity, the force of the blow had also caused her highly stylized captain's hat and mirrored aviator sunglasses to leave their flying wearer and float safely -- and dryly -- onto the deck.

Not being much of a swimmer and stunned by the chill of the early spring pool water, Danielle was flailing madly when she finally broke the surface of the water. What's more, her hair and make-up, which only moments before had been perfectly coiffed and applied, now appeared to be no more than a wet mop and chalky mess.

"Not so hot now is she," joked Emily Duncan to a guffawing Katherine Wray.

"You ain't seen nothin' yet sweetie," answered the willowy southerner as she grabbed the large rescue hook from the empty lifeguard stand to pull Mrs. Parnell out of the water.

In the meantime, mortified by his mother's undoing and determined to come to her rescue, Will Parnell had already shucked off his shoes, socks and shirt and was headed to his mother's aid.

"You're going to pay for this young lady," the soaked suburbanite screamed at her daughter as she tried only semi-successfully to tread water.

"You're grounded for the entire summer do you hear me."

Trying not to laugh on the outside, Anna Parnell was elated. Grounded for life would be a small price to pay for what the young girl had just been party to. But her mom's night was far from over. Before Will had completed the swim to his treading mother's rescue, Katherine Wray had managed to extend the long, hooked pole to where Danielle was clearly struggling.

"Just grab it Danielle," offered Katherine sincerely.

"Get that thing away from me you beanpole," came the typically rude rebuke, "I don't need your help... I don't need help from any of you losers."

"Oh is that so," thought Katherine to herself as Danielle turned her back on the tall runner to reach out to her arriving son, "I think it's time that someone taught you a lesson in humility."

While Will struggled unsuccessfully to calm his mother in the pool -- and the entire Davidson community howled in delight -- Katherine Wray eased the hook at the end of the long rescue pole into the silky waistband of Danielle's midnight blue harem pants and, unbeknownst to their wearer, began to slide them down the drowning diva's legs. In the meantime, Will, struggling to get hold of his mother under her arms so that he could swim her to the side of the pool, had inadvertently caught the latch on his steel watchband on the silk of his mother's now practically transparent white crop top.

"What are you doing Will," Danielle screamed to the crowd's delight when it finally dawned on her that she was no longer wearing pants.

In a panic she whispered to her son, "give me your shorts."

"What," came the young man's stunned reply.

"I said give me your shorts... my pants must have come off when I fell in... don't you look."

"But mom," said Will sheepishly as the two floated together toward the pool's edge, "I'm not wearing any underwear."

Shocked but without the time to chide him, Danielle as usual simply stormed ahead, "that's not my problem do you hear me... now get those pants off and give them to me this instant."

But before that instant passed, Katherine Wray acted yet again. As Will Parnell momentarily let go of his struggling mom to remove his only item of clothing, the sexy southerner managed to get the large "C" shaped rescue hook around Danielle's waist and began to pull her -- now sans her white crop top which as she moved tore away on Will's watch -- to safety.

"Oh my God... oh my God," cried Danielle as the crowd continued to go wild.

"Mom," shouted Will who, finally out of his shorts which floated beside him, had realized his mother's fate.

What happened next was the effective emancipation of Anna Parnell from her mother's reign of terror.

Having pulled Danielle to the pool's edge, Katherine Wray grabbed one of the mortified mom's arms and Emily Duncan the other thereby permitting them to lift Mrs. Parnell from the water and stand her -- barefoot and to her true height of 5' 2" -- on the deck. If the crowd had been in hysterics before, the site of the undone Danielle Parnell standing before them took their laughter to an entirely new level.

Gone was the ceaselessly sexy fashionista whose imperious stares stirred the lust of each man and the envy of every woman she would disdainfully walk on buy. Stripped away were the towering heels, the silk harem pants, the tiny tight crop top and the faux-admirals jacket. In their place, soaking wet and wearing nothing but her nautically themed jewelry and a very tiny, midnight blue G-string with a golden anchor embroidered on the tiny silk triangle covering her most private place, stood a shell-shocked Danielle Marie Parnell who, upon realizing her near naked state, was moving her hands desperately from one recently unveiled secret to the next.

What had just happened? Where were her beautiful clothes, her shoes, her sexy hat, her glasses? How could it be that she was nearly naked in front of all these... these... losers. And then... her silent scream was given voice.

"Oh my God... where are my clothes... I'm practically naked... Will... help mommy!!"

"I'm coming mom," cried her young son from the pool, "just as soon as I get my shorts back on... my shorts... where are my shorts???"

It was then that things started to become clear for both mother and son for as Danielle continued to try to shield herself with her hands and Will began climbing from the pool using only his hands to hide his growing manhood, Anna Parnell stepped through the parting crowd. In one of her hands she held her obnoxious brother's seersucker shorts that she had fished out of the pool while her perverted brother stared creepily at their nearly naked mom and in the other her mother's captain's and hat and sunglasses. Having stepped into Danielle's Louboutin heels, the ordinarily tall Anna now stood at over nearly 6 feet.

"You should be ashamed of yourself mother," glowered Anna at the now markedly shorter woman standing before her.

"Anna," croaked Danielle as she practically craned her neck to see her daughter staring down at her, "please... please give me something to wear."

Then, to the shock and delight of the entire crowd, after removing the faded white apron around her waist and unzipping and then taking off the ill-fitting, polyester maid's uniform to reveal the very fashionable black bikini she had intended to go skinny-dipping in later that night, Anna Parnell threw the cheap garment at her mother with the admonition to "put this on right now!"

As she quickly slipped into the boxy outfit that, at least two sizes too big for her, came down almost to her feet, Danielle Marie Parnell was transformed from a suburban sexpot into what appeared to be a little girl dressed in her mother's ill-fitting clothes.

While the likes of Katherine Wray, Rebecca Ross and Emily Duncan high-fived one another at the once imperious uber-MILF's comeuppance Anna, now wearing only her mother's sky high heels and a very fetching black bikini, let down her long hair and put Danielle's captain' hat and aviator shades on. Then, staring down at her mother as Mrs. Parnell had stared down so many times at her announced, "I'm the captain now... do you hear me!"

"Yes," stammered her cowed mother, tightly clutching the unzipped front of the horrible nylon dress to her chest.

"What did you say," shouted her daughter confidently.

"Yes ma'am, Anna, you're the captain now."

"That's right... now you get home before you embarrass yourself or this family anymore."

"Yes ma'am," croaked the broken show-off as, now only in her bare feet, polyester dress and G-string, she went running across the pool deck and into the clubhouse that she had graced with such sophistication only minutes before.

Still startled by her undoing, the once sexy suburbanite accidentally ran smack into Aaron Tabash who, having been in the restroom since his own shunning was only now returning back to the party.

"Hey, watch where you're going little girl," the tan stud implored.

"B-b-but Aaron... it's me," answered the undone diva as the young rower tried to place her, "look."

But as Danielle opened the front of her ill-fitting dress, in an attempt to regain an iota of her lost glory by showing the young man her still sexy body, the completely naked Will Parnell -- fleeing the crowd to the sound of laughter from all quarters -- ran smack into his mother clumsily relieving her of her dress and causing both of them to go crashing to the clubhouse floor.

As the crowd howled wildly, the last image they saw of Danielle Parnell before she feinted was a woman with her eyes wide as saucers, and her mouth hanging agape, staring transfixed at the raging manhood of her son that, without a touch, had, before the naked boy passed out face first in his mom's lap, deposited its contents across her gloriously tanned midsection.

After laughing hilariously at that scene, Aaron Tabash -- his confidence replenished -- made a bee-line for the new girl at the party -- the one in the high heels, bikini and sailors cap.