Mommy's Lingerie

I was alone in the house and was going to be for at least the next eight hours as my mother was away at work. It was summertime, and I had just graduated from high school as I turned 18 years old. My mother left for work before I got up so when I was sure she had left the house I stripped off my pajamas and went to the hallway linen closet to get one of her long nylon and lace nightgowns. I selected a long sleeve pink one and quickly pulled it on before returning to bed as I loved feeling like a pretty girl in a sexy nightgown lying in bed.

I absolutely loved wearing my mother's lingerie and feeling like the girl I knew in the back of my mind I was. I had a very short, thin penis and a tiny ball sack between my legs. At 18 years old I had no real body hair at all; nothing between my legs or under my arms, and not a hint at all of chest hair or leg hair to be found. My shoulders were rounded and not square like a male's should be. I had worn my mother's panties, slips, garter belts, stockings, bras, and dresses for a long time without her knowing.

At 18 years old, it was becoming very obvious that I had yet to begin puberty and if it was going to start it was going to be very late in coming. I had never ejaculated, and was not sure I could. I had experienced a few wet dreams, but no hard erections that I could remember. My nipples would grow very large if I flicked them with my fingers and I enjoyed the feeling I got when I did this. I did not handle my penis in a sexual way at all and found the thought of doing this to be somewhat disgusting.

I had decided I would be very happy to go through life without ever trying to ejaculate and the thought of trying to get my never really hard penis into a female vagina was something that held no interest at all for me. I was very content to dress in pretty lingerie and pretty nightgowns and flick my nipples into full erection for a sexual release. My tiny penis did not get hard or feel anything when I stimulated my nipples and that was just the way I wanted it. In my fantasy, I would imagine a loving male sucking on my nipples to give me a sexual release.

It was the late 1960's and early 1970's and woman's lingerie styles were very feminine. Lots of pretty colors, lots of lace and nylon; there were also sexy colors like black and red. My mother always had an ample supply of lingerie in the second drawer of her dresser in her bedroom. I always delighted in what I would find in there when she was not at home. My body shape was not large and her lingerie always fit me perfectly.

On this summer morning I was very comfortable in bed in a very pretty pink long sleeve nylon and lace nightgown. I was totally nude under the gown and felt the nylon all over my naked body and I loved the feeling. I fell back asleep and had a short dream of myself as a girl and how much I wished I were one. In my dream I was looking between my naked legs and finding that my penis and ball sack were completely gone. It was an image I really liked. In my dream I was so relieved I was finally rid of my filthy little cock and balls I felt totally at ease. When I woke up I was slightly disappointed that I was dreaming as I really did not want a limp little penis between my legs at all.

It was time to get up and to dress completely as a girl as I did every morning I was alone in the house when my mother went to work. It was an exciting feeling slowly walking into my mother's bedroom wearing only a nightgown. I went to her dresser and opened the second drawer where she kept all of her lingerie. I took off my nightgown as was totally naked as I looked into her lingerie drawer at all of her beautiful undergarments. It looked that she had bought a new set of panties in three different colors, baby blue, pink, and yellow. This was an addition to her white panties. All of her panties were full cut and were adorned with ample amounts of lace. They were very feminine. Over to the side of the drawer and tucked down low she had a red and black pair of panties along with a black garter belt and black stockings. I assumed these were for special occasions when she wanted her panties and slips to be seen by a man. There were also folded up full slips and half-slips and several satin and lace bras in all colors. I was in heaven looking at all the pretty lingerie and taking my time to select my wardrobe for the day.

My nipples were increasing in size and shape as I stared at the lingerie and I felt a tingling deep inside my body, but to my relief, I showed no signs of my penis becoming hard, or of it getting bigger. I had a very short shaft to my penis and when it was limp the only thing sticking out was my undersized helmet. I selected a pink pair of panties with lace around the waistband and around the leg openings. I stepped into the panties and pulled them up and the feeling was wonderful. When the helmet of my tiny penis touched the crotch of the panties it was a turn-on to think my mother's pussy lips also touched the crotch of these panties. The fit for me was perfect and there was only a very tiny bump in front where my still limp, and very tiny, penis was.

I decided I was going to completely dress for the day and I got out a pair of nylon stockings and slowly slid them up my legs. I found a white satin and lace garter belt and pulled it on and attached the stockings. Next I selected a satin and lace pink bra and attached it behind my back after putting my arms through the straps. I balled up a couple of pairs of panties and stuffed them into my bra to fill out the cups. I topped this off with a knee-length pink full slip with a large amount of lace. I paused for a moment to enjoy my look in the mirror and I was a very pretty girl in very pretty lingerie.

It was time to select my dress for the day; my mother had several in her closet to choose from. I picked out a polka dot dress in pink with white dots. It came down to just below the knees and perfectly covered my slip and it had long sleeves. It fit me perfectly and I felt so relaxed and natural dressed in my beautiful lingerie under my dress. I had no male sexual urges at all; no erection of my tiny penis in my panties. My nipples were erect in my bra and it felt wonderful to flick my fingers on them.

I sat in the living room in an easy chair and relaxed looking at a McCall's women's magazine and enjoying the feel of my lingerie and dress against my body. I felt completely female and at ease. The McCall's magazine had article after article on topics of interest to women and of course had more than one pretty full color advertisement for ladies lingerie. I was enjoying the look of an ad with lots of panties and slips in it when all of a sudden I had an intense feeling of having to pee. The feeling caught me totally by surprise and I jumped up out of the chair and dropped the magazine and began to dash for the bathroom, but I did not make it and I was afraid I was going to get urine on the carpet and in my mother's panties and on her slip, but that did not happen.

I froze in place on the way to the bathroom as I felt my pee start to come from my still very limp penis and I braced for the sound of the urine hitting the floor, but it never happened. Something wet was coming out of my penis but it was not pee, it was very warm, and felt sticky and fluffy. I could feel it collecting in the crotch of my panties and my body experienced little muscle spasms. With each spasm I felt more cream like liquid come out of my penis. I had never had an experience like this in my life. I was mostly relieved I was not making a mess on the carpeting and everything coming out of my body seemed to be held in place in the crotch of my panties. When the spasms stopped, I felt the entire head of my tiny circumcised penis encased in warm, sticky, wetness.

I went to the bathroom and lifted up my dress and my slip and slowly opened the front waistband of my panties to see what was in them. I looked down and saw a huge mound of white cream all over my cock head and completely held in place by my panties. Nothing had dripped out or run down my legs. It took a second or two for me to realize I had ejaculated and what I was looking at was a mass of semen. It was the first time in my life this had happened and my tiny penis was fully limp and somewhat retracted during the whole episode. But I had cum for sure and I had to think fast of what to do as I had just cum in my mother's clean panties.

Still holding my dress and slip up, I slowly began to lower my panties until I could step out of them making sure none of the mound of semen spilled out of the crotch. With my dress and slip smoothed back down, I bent over to gently pick up the cum filled panties. As I slowly lifted the panties, I had no idea what came over me, but I kept lifting them up to my mouth and without any hesitation I stuck out my tongue and pushed it into the warm white mound of semen. I found the feel and taste of the semen very enjoyable and I stuck out my tongue again for a more complete lick of the semen. I got a much larger amount the second time and felt a shiver come over my body as I consumed the cum. I kept going as I placed the panties on the bathroom counter with the crotch facing up and I bent over and licked every drop of the sticky white cream I could into my mouth. I cleaned every last drop of the semen out of the panties and swallowed every bit of my ejaculate. It was the first time I had ever ejaculated and the first time I swallowed semen. I did not know it at this moment, but going forward I would only ejaculate once more over the next ten years, but I would happily enjoy swallowing ejaculated semen from erect male cocks many, many times over the next ten years.

Now, my focus was getting my mother's panties washed so she would have no idea I had cum in them. I put them in the washing machine and then the dryer and after making sure my limp penis was wiped clean I pulled the panties on again. I undressed completely before my mother got home and got all her lingerie back where it belonged, but I knew I had turned a very real corner that day.

The first thing I learned that day was that it was possible for me to ejaculate semen without having an erection and without touching my little penis. The second thing I learned was ejaculating, for me, was something I never really wanted to do. There was nothing feminine about it. Thirdly I accepted the fact I wanted to experience life as much as I could as a girl. It was very natural for me and put me completely at ease. And lastly, I learned I could not get enough of the taste of semen. I knew I did not wish to ejaculate again myself, but I also knew I wanted to find a way to enjoy swallowing the semen ejaculated by a male who found me attractive as a female.

For the rest of the summer I dressed completely as a woman every weekday from 8am until 6pm and got very good at doing it. I began to teach myself how to apply make-up and really enjoyed the look I created. I used some money and purchased a shoulder length wig in a hair color that was a compliment to my face and my look was totally and completely female. There was no question at all that I wasn't a girl.

After the summer I moved away to college and left my mother's beautiful lingerie trove behind, but it did not stop me as I used the money I earned from an on-campus job and began to buy my own. I was not the least bit shy about shopping in the lingerie section of the local department store. In fact, after I first purchased ten pairs of very pretty panties, the sales lady figured out I was buying for myself and she was very helpful. She suggested sizes for me and helped measure me so I would get a perfect fit. In just a couple of months I had filled my dresser drawer with panties, bras, slips, camisoles, garter belts, and stockings, plus several nightgowns and baby dolls. I visited a local thrift store for vintage but very cute dresses and along with my wig and makeup I was fully stocked.

I obtained a driver's license as my female self and I managed to enroll at the community college I attended as a female in addition to my male identity. The first day I attended a class dressed fully female was a turn on and then after that it became easier and easier to spend every day as a female. Wearing male underwear or clothing quickly began to feel strange and I never felt fully dressed if I was not wearing a bra.

Sexually I was very careful to avoid any type of male sexual stimulation. Even though I liked licking and swallowing my own semen I refrained from ejaculating as much as I could. Girls don't ejaculate and I was living as a girl so I should in no way want to ejaculate. I also suppressed any types of erections I felt starting and my tiny penis. I found a source for over the counter estrogen and I began taking it on a daily basis. My already tiny penis shrank in half as did my testicles, and soon, I found it physically impossible to produce any kind of semen like discharge. My nipples were growing bigger, and I could feel I was ever so slightly starting to grown my breasts. I shaved every strand of body hair one night and it never grew back. My hips began to slightly expand and I could feel it in my panties.

It was about this time I found an underground college newspaper that accepted my ad looking for a boyfriend who was interested in a "special" girl like me. I had several responses very quickly and began to go on dates as an overly feminine girly girl. Each date always ended with me bringing my date's penis to a full, hard erection and me on my knees joyfully kissing, licking and sucking my partner to ejaculation. I came to appreciate all types of hot semen shooting into my mouth and being swallowed. My continued consumption of estrogen without a doubt reduced my own sperm count so low I was rendered virtually sterile as a male and to my delight; erections for me became another physical impossibility. I was sure of the fact I had way more sperm swimming around inside my body from my dates that I could ever hope to produce myself.

My desire to have a sexual experience with a female had all but disappeared. Other than my mother, I had never even kissed another female and I had no desire for even the slightest sexual contact with another girl. I had immersed myself into being a female and presenting myself to the world as a female and it was the best thing I had ever done for myself.

A couple of my male dates did blossom into longer term relationships. A couple of the men took me on vacation with them as their female companion. I always made it a point to pack extra girly bridal lingerie on those trips and they enjoyed me coming to bed every night in my various chiffon and lace outfits. Some nights it would be a long nightgown and some nights it would be a short teddy. Every night there was no trace at all of any of my male sex organs. I found myself falling in love with a couple of my partners, but any talk of a permanent living arraignment never came to pass. I have been living as a female on a full time basis now for almost 20 years and I am completely happy with my life and my relationships.