All Comments on 'Monster'

He should have done something to them

Wow! A dark masterpiece. 5 stars.

It was well written, but the content... wasn't this just yet another weird powerfantasy?

I mean, my first problem is the notion of Tom still caring that much about Greg after five YEARS of no contact. Not a word spoken in half a decade, and he still cares THAT deeply for Greg? Then, the pain he caused by taking away his wife should've already achieved the impotence part.

Which brings me to the other point. No amount of psychological trauma can counteract viagra, mate. That's not how humans work. This is pure wishful thinking.

Pretty good story well executed, your afterthought hit the nail on the head, a spouse dumps a heavy load of shit on the marriage (husband or wife makes no difference) divorce ensues and according to most other authors here they all forgive and forget and there’s jam for tea, get real.

The author appears to have left out the part where Greg spends the rest of his life in a prison hospital, strapped into a straight jacket, gibbering and drooling like the brain dead physco he obviously is.

I liked it straight to the point. Not sure about the ex husband being a psychopath but it was effective 😊

Good story about a very disturbing person.

Pointless

The problem: escalation.

Yeah, I don't get why you need to be civil to a cheating former spouse.

I liked how Greg destroyed their marriage, just like they'd destroyed his.

Wow absolutely paralyzingly Omer the top!!! Absolutely loved it!!

Brutal :)

Very good! 5*

And another author outs himself.

A bit over the top and dark but cheaters need to pay.

Interesting outlook. But quite ridiculous. A bullet would stop any deranged moron. Also, waiting 5 years, until his daughter was ready to graduate, then doing the "bully boy" monster routine! Why didn't Tom just tell him "Try any of your stupid antics and I'll blast you first and ask questions later. YOU stay away from US!"

Another compassionate psychopath. Well done.

Meh - Started out with potential but then lost steam and ended on the floor. Well written narrative and flow. 3*

I want more Greg tales, him destroying flagrant serial seducers as a traveling serial killer perhaps.

I can only hive this 3 stars. The Greg in this story would have ended both of them when their betrayal was revealed not waited 5 years

This was one of the most pathetic, juvenile examples of BTB wish fulfillment I’ve read in this site. Good lord, if you didn’t have decent writing mechanics, I’d swear in court that you’re no older than fifteen.

So Greg has a core of anger, and the apparent ability to carry out complex crimes. I can see getting even with the guy he tortured. But where did the anger come from? D

Wow. Evil incarnate.

Very nice. Not a big fan of btb or crazy husbands but this was well done. 5*

"her ex-husband couldn't or wouldn't move past what he saw as her betrayal" - What he SAW as her betrayal? What would she call it, if not a betrayal.

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"I grew up with you, you couldn't do...THAT," - Yes, you grew up with him, and stole his WIFE.

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If Tom was Greg's best friend, he must have met Karen many times before the wedding, and they only realized they were soul mates AFTER the wedding? After they were married long enough to have a child?

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I also see this as an answer to those who want to know what happened next.

Bra-VO

Yes, we do wear masks. You treat your parents one way, your wife one way and your children one way.

10 bucks says this author owns a joker costume and enjoys brooding in as theatrical a way as possible.

Appeals to my darker side, thank you.

Very nice short story. 5 stars

Well written. You did a great job of describing the level of hurt he felt by their betrayal. However, it seems to me that when you give yourself over to that much hate, I mean when you just let it consume your entire being, you have surrendered your life to those that wronged you. I can fully understand the desire for revenge, but at some point, you must move on or forever become a hostage of your own hate.

Love the story excellent work

Well done. Scorched earth is the only solution to a situation like this. Glad Greg had the balls to go that route.

Excellent.

not my type of story

So Tom and Karen stayed together in a married but sexless life. Sounds like Tom was emotionally / verbally castrated.

Damn good. This could have been an episode on the show Dexter.

Very nice. Well not "nice" maybe, but very well done.

5*

5* Violence and permanent damage against a scumbags mental and emotional equilibrium. Got it! Kewl!

Wow . INTENSE !!

5

Witing about 1500 more words would have beefed this up, brought the terror/horror much more to the forefront. Still, very well written and compelling for such a short story. Thank you.

We all have a good person and monster inside of us. But as the Indian’s (Native Americans) always tell their young, “It is the one you feed the most that grows the largest.” Another thing they speak of is that you need both to survive in the world. One to ensure the world maintains a balance of good and evil. The second to ensure you maintain that same balance. All the while you must understand that sometimes the monster has to be unleashed to keep the evil part of the world at bay. Always strive to be the best person you can to yourself and others. There by making the world around you better by your actions.

Your story earned the Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ that I gave it.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Wow, Loved it please make a longer version. It is like you took the little voice in all betrayed husbands’ head and brought it to life. Keep up the good work.

That was intense. I think reality would include the two of them going to the police, but I'd sure avoid a psychotic guy like that regardless of whether he was wronged or not.

Love it! 5/5

jopstorm1945

I love it. 5 stars

I liked it. It's very dark. I can understand it on some levels, and I can sympathies with Greg. A friend like Tom, knowing each other for as long as they did, just doesn't do what he did. The writing was good, but the subjects of the story were just not likable enough to give it 5-stars. 4-stars for this one.

Literotica? Where’s the eroticism in this story? I’m sick of all this revenge crap that is being posted in this category. This is supposed be a sexy story site. Literotica please create a new category for this type of rubbish.

WOW, the evil shown in this story is fascinating! Great writing, Great Story! Very Good effort on the part of the writer. 5 Big Stars to the writer. Thanks Buster2U

Sick. This story celebrates a severely unhinged man - and the author talks about "scorch that earth". Yesterday a similarly unhinged person walked into an elementary school for their own reasons - which must have been just as justified in their deranged mind - and shot three children and three adults. It's about time we quit celebrating mental illness - and revenge of this sort does exactly that by writing that torturing and cutting out the adulterer's (Sarah's boss Gene) tongue and eyes was justified. He certainly deserved some punishment - but mutilation?

Wow

People betray one another all of the time in myriad ways, not all of them related to sex or romance. You, the author, betray people and are probably even unaware sometimes. Greg, as a human, betrayed people. Perhaps someone Greg betrayed in the past needs to chop off his hands before he gets a chance to dole anything out.

I've found that people who are the most self-righteous and angry are often the most blind to their own harmful acts to others.

Be careful, the brigade of the Holy Father or White Knight will fall on you.

Here, the husband, betrayed and deceived, must always have exemplary behavior, never insult, never speak to even adult children, always forgive......

Otherwise .... I quickly enumerate the consequences:

- you will age sharply

- you will be a single person, without a relationship and without a friend.. (a dog or a cat is allowed)

- you will get cancer if you don't release anger

- you will lose your hair even if you have good genetics

- You will gain at least 30 kilos even if you run every day.

So be careful! The consequences are definitely not worth the risk.

Forgive ! Forgive ! Forgive !

😱🤔🤣🤣🤣

Haven't I read this before?

This is not erotica. It does not belong on this website.

I just love this monster and the beauty of its retribution.

Gave you extra points for that last bit on why you wrote this. Just read another where the wife essentially conspires to kill the husband and they're friendly with each other in the end. Totally needed this after that and glad I read this last.

Rantings of a psycho, not revenge. Just sad, and ridiculous. No kids perspective?

Stories like this and the score they get confirm that this page is full of people living in the past and full of hate.

I get it; the system sucks and favors the wife when she cheats, gets a divorce, and takes the kids and your paycheck.

But letting the system break you and turn you into a ball of hate means it won. And you let it win.

I pity your second or third wives that have to live with you.

Nicely written. I'm not a fan of burn-the-bitch stories. But this does show a different take on that theme.

It gave me pause to think about what incidents in our own pasts had someone else turning each of us just a little darker, and what role any of us has played in bringing out monsters in others?

I'll give it a 4, because I still don't LOVE BTB stories.

Storyline seems a bit contrived. 3*

We now live in a world of violence as people fall into so many categories of delusions,brain washed, cultist, angry people , blame everyone for their failure but themselves , mentally I’ll, sociopath , just to many to list . We fed them with the lies our media puts out,politicians ,and other groups as we continue to destroy our way of life from within and the world burns as dictators kill for their own sick agendas. What have we become?

Greg gave Tom five years of enjoying Karen in survival mode, then he verbally cuts Tom’s dick off. Tom knew that it was wrong to steal his best friend’s wife. He had time to savor Karen sexually but to be thrust into a hell of his own making, after five years, pure evil!

What an awesome stand up guy, look after wronged family!

Both men will pay dearly the rest of their lives because one will not give up his hatred of the other. A superbly crafted, if intensely chilling tale.

Could have done with a little more character development , But still an interesting read.

outstanding story, what most cheated on husbands wish they could do

steppinontoes

Greg is simply an avenging angel created by a bitch of an exwife and exfriend. Would love for you to do a follow-up story about Gene Mulcavey.

Looking at the comments I see the usual limp dick wimps whining like the little bitches they are. Their weak constitutions can't handle any type of violence.

Someone commented that the real life Tom and Karen would have gone to the police. I doubt that as they were both scared shitless. Greg would more than likely been released at some point and they knew he would kill both of them.

Well done.

Great story but incredibly dark. I agree it is very intense albeit justified. Kind of one of those stories that will be remembered but somewhat as a nightmare. Still gave it 5 stars.

that yarn kept me riveted from start to finish

thanks mate

Still, it seems to me that there is a way to inform a blind and tongueless person about who kidnapped and mutilated him. You can write without seeing what you are writing. It will turn out, perhaps, not elegantly, but clearly.

Just another violent, misogynistic, POS snowflake of an MC.

Enjoyed it muchly!

I read fantasies to connect with one or more of the characters portrayed. I want them to make me laugh and cry, to be involved…to be emotional. I want to become part of them. For that to happen there needs to be sanity.

My feeling about the story?

I can not connect with the psychopath Greg is. Brutal insane revenge is disgusting to me. It is not an acceptable BTB. It is not justice…it is just destructive hate. The strong implication that he tortured Gene is indicative of his insanity, as are his threats to Tom. He is just fucking nuts in a very humanly destructive way. He needs to be confined away from the general population. Certainly not adored, complimented and imitated.

Tom is a very emotionally weak man, who has no idea about friendship, caring or loyalty. There is no love in his being…not even for Karen. He is a self centered, using asshole, who needs serious therapy to just be able to live normally. Talk about a loser! I can’t connect with his character at all. Frightened stupidity in the face of life is just a flat out turn off. With a friend like Tom, who needs an enemy?

Karen is not much better in the way she dealt with Greg, her daughter and her committed marriage. Her narrow minded selfishness and lack of loyalty, caring and love is a serious put off. Her bullshit “soulmate” feeling is not love…rather it is based on selfish need, and damn anybody who stops her from getting what she feels she deserves. I run away very fast from women like her.

Yes, I feel the story was well written and presented, but I did not connect at all except with head shaking rejection. The idea that we all have the Greg type monster living within us, that needs control or it will become us, is just bullshit, IMO. In real life there are very few insane people among us (and they all seem to be politicians…but I digress,). The great majority of us (90%?) are just ordinary people living and reacting to life, as best we can, in an acceptable way. I enjoy stories based around that 90%.

1 star…for the insane violence driving the story, and the silly monster idea.

Merlin

Brilliant. About time someone wrote a story of what it truly feels like to be betrayed by someone you loved rather than the usual wimp nonsense that most authours write.

We can choose how to respond to anything that comes at us in life!

5

Eeeeek!

Sometimes you have to be a monster yourself to deal with the real monsters

Psychotic maybe, but having your wife leave you for your best friend could be a little hard to deal with rationally.

At first wasn't sure I would like this, but glad I finished it. This is a different type of BTB, where fear is used to get revenge on someone, where their own fear cripples them. It is like "The Monsters on Maple Street" in the old Twilight Zone, where aliens cause weird things to happen and people's fears destroy them.

Been there, well, very close.

Wicked. Great job.

Revenge, ah! what sweet sorrow. Be careful who you wrong.

Short and sweet. well said. Got his point across just fine. As far as them going to the cops, He threatened no one but made his point clear.

If Gene deserved to be made blind and dumb because he seduced Sarah and destroyed her family, why didn't Tom deserve the same punishment for having seduced Karen thereby destroying her marriage to Greg? Obviously, being perpetually frightened and permanently impotent are significant consequences for Tom's actions, but they pale in comparison to being returned after an abduction without your eyes and tongue. After all, even a monster needs to show some consistency in his use of terror and violence.

Why do people insist on posting comments about whether a story belongs on the site or not? The mods allow it, ergo it belongs. Feel free to report it, or contact the mods, I doubt that they will change.

Wow! That was different. Very twisted story, but excellent writing.

Brilliant, just so good. A really good story, put together so well, loved the deepness of it, what a great way to get back at them.

Thanks for this.

Ambrose Bierce in the family tree?

Why let them enjoy themselves for five years before laying this on them?

Quite clever. Disguised as a sheep, but revealed to be a rabid wolf. Simple, pithy, and efficient unlike so many other stories on Lit.

[09.04.23]

Wholllleee Schnikie!

11/10!!!!!

My Best friend was a Marine Gunny .. His wife still thinks he is a friendly Person . I have seen the anger in him . I give this story 5 stars

Cold.

And very good!

Thanks for writing!

Really liked this - the second 5 I have awarded. Awesome let have more.

Really like it, but why did it take 5 years!

What goes around..........

Marvelous

outstanding performance of Greg as a Monster