All Comments on 'Monsters in the Closet'

You have a gift for writing detailed sciences to engage our senses. Clean up your spelling and who is who in the opening and you can enjoy your rewards for writing erotica

Pretty hot...I like the scenario, but physical description of Kat would have been nice...and I agree with other comments that some editing was in order...but def HOT...please continue with this story...4 stars

This was a hot little story. Good story line and characters. Good sex as well. Maybe you need an editor to help clean up your wording but all in all a great story.

keep the story going

Nonsense. Seriously, get out of your parents basement and interact with actual people not avatars in a computer game.

First problem right away was the plethora of grammar and spelling errors. 😕 I actually struggled occasionally to understand what it was that you were trying to say. If you happen to confess that English is not your native language, it wouldn't surprise me in the least.

Second problem is the single page length. Generally, if you're going to write actual erotica, then a well fleshed out story will be a minimum of 3 pages (or three times the size of your submission). This is more of a jerk off story than anything else.

The third problem one of personal preference, but I felt that Josh and Kat shouldn't have been intimate on the floor right beside Trent's bed. You should have had Kat put the brakes on long enough for them to move to a spare bedroom or the master bedroom. Then it would have given you the opportunity to have her enthusiastically restart their lovemaking thereby removing ALL doubt. As written, she might have just submitted to her brother's advances in an effort to prevent an argument with Josh.

If this was your first effort, then I think that you have potential. Just keep working on it. 4/5