More Than Words

"Now," he said and breathed hard. "You'll pay for that. You seem to enjoy a little pain."

Maya screamed again. At the same time, she heard the door slam open behind him.

"What's going on here?" Nicholas asked.

"Help me!" Maya shouted as she kicked at her assailant.

Nicholas pulled him away from and slammed him into the wall. The man screamed as Nicholas pummelled him. Maya heard more commotion, and she saw Nicholas's bodyguard, Mark, enter the room.

"Get rid of this scumbag," Nicholas said and threw her assailant at Mark.

Maya saw Mark hoist him up by his shirt, and she heard the sound of him choking. She tried to hide her body and pulled her clothes tighter around herself. She hadn't realised he'd ripped her dress.

"Come, Maya," Nicholas said. "You're safe now." She threw herself into Nicholas's arms and sobbed.

"Thank god, Nicholas," she said, clinging to him.

Dimly, she was aware that he carried her to his room. He turned to one of his staff to give some instructions and Maya whimpered in desperation when she lost his touch.

"Shh," Nicholas said as he came back to her.

They sat on the bed, and he held her. She cried until her body seemed to run out of tears. After that, she just sat there. Feeling his warm arms around her shoulders as she leaned her head on his chest.

"Would you like to have a shower and change your clothes?" Nicholas finally asked.

"Yes," she said. "But don't leave me," Maya begged him.

"I won't. I'll stay with you."

Nicholas did as he'd promised. He sat on a chair with his back to her while she showered. Every few minutes, Maya turned to check if he was still there. And he was. She felt safer with Nicholas around. She dressed in loose clothes and ate what Nicholas' staff had delivered. She sat on his bed while he sat in the chair beside the bed.

"What about your party?" Maya asked.

"Everyone has left. Don't worry."

A long while later, she tried to sleep, but couldn't. There were too many thoughts running around in her head. She looked over at Nicholas who lay beside her at the other end of the bed.

"Nicholas?" Maya whispered. Wondering if he was still awake.

"Yes?"

"Can you hold me?"

He rolled over and held out his arms to her. She moved closer and placed her back against his front. Resting her head on his right arm. He pulled up the duvet, covering them.

A long while later, she felt him retreat a little. Allowing more room between their lower bodies. She felt safe. More at ease. But, the images and the fear of being helpless still bothered her. They would probably stay with her for the rest of her life. She wondered if it helped to replace it with something else. A memory that was worth keeping.

"Nicholas?" Maya asked.

"Mmm?"

"Can you touch me?"

"I am touching you." He sounded confused.

"I mean... can we have sex?" Maya asked, unsure how to voice her request. It sounded so... clinical. But it felt wrong to ask him to fuck her.

"No," Nicholas said. "We can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to see my face in your nightmares, Maya."

"But...?"

"No, Maya. You don't need that now. Please, don't ask. I just can't."

She was silent for a while.

"Okay," Maya said.

He was probably right. And it was wrong to push him into doing something he didn't want to do.

The next morning, she had packed her bags and was ready to go to her friend's house to spend the rest of the holiday with her. It was what Maya had planned all along. She didn't want to change anything. Wouldn't allow one scumbag to ruin the holiday for her.

Besides, she needed to forget. And she couldn't bear to walk by the room where she'd almost been raped a few hours earlier. Even if Nicholas was around.

"Will you be all right?" Nicholas asked.

Maya nodded. "Yes. I will. Thank you."

The night had passed without any nightmares. She knew they would come. When her mind had a chance to work through the ordeal. But she felt the worst was over. Nicholas had made her feel protected and safe. She wanted to stay that way. With him. But she knew she couldn't. If she stayed, she would blurt out a lot more than Nicholas needed to know. She felt vulnerable. But she knew her friend would support her when she told her what had happened.

"Mark will go with you," Nicholas said and nodded toward his bodyguard.

She liked Mark. He was a solid family man, and she trusted him.

"But what about you?" Maya asked Nicholas.

She knew Nicholas always had a bodyguard or a security expert nearby. Particularly when he held a party in the middle of nowhere. It was a matter of safety. There were too many shady people who liked to grab a piece of your good fortune.

"I'll be fine. I called in Mark's backup. He'll be here in half an hour."

"Thank you, Nicholas," she said.

"Be careful, Maya. You should never trust anyone."

"Not even you?"

"Not even me. Mark will teach you self-defence when you feel up to it. Don't hesitate to use those moves on any man that comes too close."

"I'm fine, Nicholas," Maya said and smiled.

"Are you sure you won't stay a little longer?" Nicholas asked.

"No, I promised my friend that I'd be there. I don't want to change all my plans just because of that sleazeball."

Nicholas followed her to the car and put her suitcase in the boot. Mark got seated inside the car beside the driver. Maya turned to Nicholas after making sure no one else could hear what she wanted to say.

"Thanks for everything, Nicholas."

He hugged her. "You're welcome."

"And particularly for the help in taking care of my V-card problem," she said to his ear before she kissed his neck. She could feel how tense he became.

"That was a mistake," Nicholas said hoarsely before he moved a step away from her.

"No, it wasn't," Maya said

"You planned it? With me?"

"I planned it for this weekend. But it never crossed my mind you would be the one."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I'm not. You were the best choice of the lot. "

"Dammit, Maya. You can't just plan something like that."

"Sure I can. I felt ready."

"It's wrong. I'm like a brother to you, for god's sake."

"But you're not. Not biologically."

"I feel like I am. That's all that matters. And I can never be more than your brother."

'Bullshit,' she wanted to say out loud. But she managed to hold back.

"I don't believe you," Maya said instead.

"It doesn't matter what you believe," Nicholas said.

Maya got in the car and waved at him, while the driver took her away from Nicholas and toward her friend's house.

For a long while, Maya only sat and watched the scenery through the window. She thought about what Nicholas had told her. How adamantly he'd claimed that he could never be anything more than a brother to her.

He was wrong. He had always been so much more. And now more than ever.

He was a friend. Her protector. Her first love. Her first lover.

Given time, there would be other men in her life. Maya was sure. But none of them would ever be able to replace Nicholas. He held a special place in her soul and in her heart. His words replayed in her mind.

'It doesn't matter what you believe.'

Actually, it did, Maya thought. Nicholas said one thing, but his actions told her the opposite. What he showed, but would never admit. He showed her something other than the words he said when he held her in his arms and hugged her.

Nicholas cared for her. Maya knew he did. That meant a lot more than just his words. A lot more.

And some day he would come to the same conclusion.

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THE END ?

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Ada