All Comments on 'Morning Routine Redux'

Much better but how would he get away with the assault on the doctor and what was she being arrested for?

I don't understand why you still kept him getting aroused by what was happening even though his actions in breaking down the door were more like what any normal person would do so 4 stars this time.

A bit better.

Do not bend to the people who believe cheaters should be killed even in fiction. They take the fun out of everything. I liked the previous version way better. This one feels forced.

Only a little over the top. Yeah - I liked it, though.

Much improved! I liked this one a thousand times better than the first. Was it fcked up and crazy? Yes, but so is life.

This was an attempt that missed its mark. Keep it up

Extremely weird . Was she getting therapy or just discussing the days work with the Dr.?

I was one of the people that gave you bad rap on that story (you deserved it).

However, you have taken it on board, VERY GOOD!

This version is much better, and more to what cop would do. 4

I'm putting on a badge tonight and learning how to search for contraband.

I kinda wish we knew the backstory of why she started sucking off the doctor.

I could picture this happening. Alot of crazy shit goes on with officer's, their spouses and girlfriends. Where's he taking her?

@Tajfa, I don't think he was really arresting her, probably taking her home.

Better! Cop stood up for himself and his interests. Due to the plot lines regarding how the office circumstances are written, door shut, click of a lock, readjusted blinds. It was difficult for Cop to really know what was actually happening inside. The noises he heard, the way his wife Katie was acting, what he could see and hear during his first intel attempt after Katie went into Anderson's office. it was all circumstantial really. Obviously the receptionist was stonewalling Cop, buying time, for Katie and Anderson. But why, for what reason? In truth Cop had no probable cause to break down the door. This was the big flaw in the story. A better take would have been an unlocked connecting door into Anderson's office from the office Cop was listening from. Anderson may have locked his hallway door, but conceivably forgotten to check the adjoining office door. This way, Cop doesn't have to 'break in' during a plausible 'counseling session' Anderson was having with a staff member. Cop also could have locked the hallway door to the office he was listening from. This effectively locks the receptionist out in the hallway. This way, the receptionist could not testify to having seen anything that transpired inside the two locked rooms. Cop could also have gone in with his cell phone camera rolling. In the real world, you know Anderson is going to sue for the intrusion and the assault the way it happens in the story. Annnnd if Cop is going to assault Anderson, it would have been way more satisfying had Anderson fell against the wall with his drawers down around his knees and his junk exposed. Cop could have applied a few lengthy blasts from his tazer to Anderson's nether region! Fewer marks than a baton breaking knuckles. Harder to prove in court that it ever happened.

Better than the first version, but still missing the only part that matters. Thanks for the effort.

I will say it can be interesting, has some interesting moments but despite not being short it feels rushed. It feels like a snippet of a larger story. Nothing wrong with trying to be subtle but I feel like their is a fine line between subtle and confusing that not many can thread successfully. I'd have actually be interested in hearing whatever the wife's explanation could possibly be ("I slipped onto his penis that happened to be out" maybe) or what the aftermath was. But right now the story just isn't that great.

Thats better

Rapey shit.

LoL that's a funny ass story

Too bad the whore and her master didn't just disappear...

Somewhat better, but there was no justice, at least you tried

And then he woke up

4****.

N.B. The earlier version was a 1*

Better than than the first version. At least this has a conclusion of sorts. Best of luck on your continued writing. I did rate this one a 4!