All Comments on 'Mother Became Wife'

Please do not write again.Painful to read.

Piece of shyt story. Horrible grammer and very hard to understand or follow.

I agree. with painful to read., Stopped reading after a couple of paragraphs. .Please have someone proofread it for you.

Content not bad, grammar and spelling is.

That's not writing. That's random regurgitation of poorly understood words.

If you are seriously wanting ratings to go up from LE reviewers, you need to loose the mature woman as having a smooth pussy nonsense! A majority of readers who review mature women stories like moms, aunts, mother in laws, and older sisters, do so in part because the reality is, they are not shaved or waxed. "I peeped inside after lifting my mother's gown while sitting on her knees, I was shocked, mother was not wearing panties and seeing her smooth pussy," Moms, are not smooth, some are trimmed, lots are hairy, but many moms have monster full bush growing. So let me guess, in the next chapter, mom has a chaffed razor burnt pussy with stubble sticking out of her infected hairs on her pimpled over mound and at probably age 40+? Consider the image you are creating for your readers.

Bad

Unreadable

Not trying to be critical. However, this story might need to be modified, restructured, and re-developed. I greatly respect you (all authors) for creating, sharing, and expressing ideas. The incest genre is a good one and you do have lot's of ideas. However, if I could make a few recommendations, please go to YOU-TUBE and search "creative writing, fiction writing, descriptive writing and the essential elements of writing fiction." Very carefully review "FREYTAG'S PYRAMID!!!!" It (FP), is a good tool for creative writers. However, it's only a guide and not the final authority on fiction writing. Please, keep writing. Writing improves with time when authors read the work of others and practice the art of how to express their ideas. You will want to strive to become an expert at writing in general and especially strive at descriptive fetish writing. (Google "fetishes" and look at the most common ones. that is what you need to write descriptively about). Think about some of your own fetishes, then begin describing them on paper. Next, read your descriptions back to yourself. Listen to how your descriptions sound and make corrections.

Hi,

This was a difficult read but you have talent - potential. Review the work of other writers and continue to write. The You-tube suggestion in the comments below is a good place to start. Steady rising action in a story is very important. Also the person who commented about older or mature ladies not being shaved. Yes, that is 100% correct! Shaved pussy might work in some of the dad and daughter stories - younger ladies? But shaved mounds are definitely not good in mom and son fiction or in any mature lady and younger male or younger female fiction for that matter. Mom stories are just fucking hairy stories -- they just have hairy pussies, always!!!! In future stories please also keep in mind, oversize and erect clits (girl cocks) protruding from those hairy mom or mom's sister's mound are nice to read about too.

It would have been better with western names.