All Comments on 'Mother Fantasy, Son's Downfall'

I remember reading this story a while ago, not sure if this is a reposting or a rewriting. It had the same weird split between the fun fantasy bits & the boner killing aftermath. Still don't know what the point of the 2nd half is.

Every story needs a proper ending, some degree of closure. Some stories end leaving the reader wondering which direction things take in the end. This ending is nothing short of an extreme cliffhanger. A closing chapter would be very desirable, and in my opinion, very necessary. 5* work, but needs finishing!

Should have killed her and the bully

I stand by what I wrote after reading the first version: It's disgusting, but still better than all the other stories using a plot like this.

Now, this version is a lot cleaner and easier to read, but, sadly, still a long way's off from perfect. There are still multiple instances of wrongly formatted dialogue, many, many typos, and the lack of a proper ending makes it hard to digest. Nonetheless, from a psychological standpoint, it is still just as intriguing as the first story. If you think it's possible, I sure hope you'll write a sequel actually detailing the consequences, though I guess they're pretty obvious as the video should show Collin's home, so he'll have a hard time defending himself.

"Somehow, it feels like I'm betraying my own son."

.

Feels like? Really? How can the incredibly obvious be a "feels like"?

I felt very uncomfortable reading this story and did not enjoy it at all.

Again you disappointed.

We really don't want a rewrite.

We want to know the aftermath.

We want to see what really happened after the discovery.

Its super hot but either make the mom and bully a couple or give us the aftermath

So let me get this straight... all of this was just the mom's fucked up fantasy of pissing on someone in her family with her lover?

Oh wait no... it's not a fucked up fantasy. SHE ACTUALLY DID! She pissed on her son and made him swallow it.

Then acts like oh it was just a fantasy I didn't do anything!

What next? The family finds out about her fucking affair with Collin and and does the same thing to her AND him. Oooh then they leave them tied up with duct tape and set th house on fire.

That would be the BEST ending after reading this shit!

Fucked up beyond belief.

So you skipped all the sex parts and left us with just the trauma.. odd choice

The hell kind of ending was that?

That didn't make sense.

The fuck guy!

Horrible grammar, spelling, concept, exposition and overall execution.

I just can't believe I have to say this, but after she says "oh shit" and her whole family have rejected her (read the story) and she says "oh shit", that's the end!!! She is exposed!!! Her family now knows why the son is that way, she tried everything to hold on to reality, ever pushing it further away everytime. You want a chapter about divorces? Court battles? I am sorry about my grammar (how DARE is English not my native tongue), but I tried to correct my previous mistakes, I care that much. And when you comment about how much you hated the first time, and still hate it now, why are you even reading me?

@AmaraSexy

Then instead of listening to criticism and complaining about it, correct your mistakes and try again.

Get another author to proofread your stories.

Plus no offense but the story was jumping all over the place. You switch from first person to second person to third person frequently. Stick with one type of POV.

Also as an author how can you not know what your characters are saying?

She clearly said "oh god!" not "Oh shit!"

Plus the way she said it sounded like you were thinking about adding more too it, but left it unfinished. So yeah you should talk about the aftermath of when the family watched her tape. Write about how her family now hates her. Write about her path to redemption.

Give us what we want on here... a good fucking story.

Just curious, what date was the original posted on? And is it just me or has there been more words added?

@Asperger27 you're one to talk considering you wrote a couple of stories where the mother betrayed her husband and son.

Or that story "My mom's corruption" where the mother, Monica Desper, had sex with the bully, Seth Dougerson, of her own son, Doug Desper, and even defended Seth, her son's bully. Her younger sister, Maria, and Doug's Aunt ended up siding with Seth and even had a threesome with her sister and nephew's bully. Seth even said that he knows that Monica was aware of him lying when he said that Doug hit him when it Seth who hit Doug when he told him that'd he'd be having sex with his Aunt and Mother. Seth also said that it Monica thought it was funny and liked it when Seth bullied her son. Monica shrugged her shoulders when Monica looked at her after Doug said that Seth told him he was going to have sex with his mom and aunt.

In the latest chapter, Seth pissed on Doug's face and made him watch as he had sex with his mom. Later on, Monica only married John, Seth's Dad, to become Seth's Stepmom so she'd continue to have sex with him. When she became Seth's Stepmom, she did nothing as Seth made Doug watch as she and him had sex with each other, at first she was disgusted by it but even grew into having sex with Seth in front of Doug. If she was disgusted then she should have told Seth that they shouldn't be having sex in front of her son.

When Seth and Doug got into college, Monica and Maria would send photos and videos to Seth of them playing with each other. When they visited Seth and Doug, they hugged and kissed him and then reluctantly hugged Doug and then immediately went back to Seth. The moment Doug left his and Seth's room, Monica, Maria and Seth all had sex with each other and locked the door while Doug sat outside and listened for 4 hours, two guys even congratulated Seth for having sex with two MILFS.

And worst of all, Monica and Maria became pregnant with Seth's kids. Monica happily told her son that his half sibling(s) and cousin(s) would be born thanks to his bully. She then walked out of Seth and Doug's room without even looking at her son.

Monica Desper is a 41 year old woman and chose to have sex with her 19 year old boy toy, Seth. A boy toy that was only one year older then her 18 year old son, Doug. Monica started out as a strong willed woman but eventually became a slut for Seth after she and him had sex on their trip. Sided with Seth over her own son when they returned from the trip and was even cold towards him.

Maria (whatever her last name is) is a grown woman (you never said her age) who while younger then her older sister Monica, also started out as a strong willed woman and cool aunt until the character where she saw Seth's huge cock and sucked him off while lying to her nephew about wheather or not his mom, her sister, was having sex with Seth. She sided with Seth when her sister and him returned him.

Both sisters, Monica and Maria had incest with each other and even sent videos and photos to Seth and had Phone Sex with him while Doug listened. And they became pregnant with Seth's kids. Monica would be 42 years old by the time she gives birth to her kid and Monica is also a grown woman by the time she'll give birth to her kid. Seth will be 20 years old when his kids are bron. What's gonna happen in 10 or 20 years once Monica is 52 or 62 years old and when Maria also gets older? The two sisters are gonna be old and Seth will be 30 or 40 and will definitely leave both of them since they'll be too old for him.

What are Monica, Seth, and Maria's kids gonna think once they find out that they're not only siblings but cousins at the same time? Or when they learn that their own mom/aunt betrayed their uncle/brother thanks to their father turning Doug's aunt and mom into his sluts?

What will John Dougerson think once he finds out his new wife, Monica, and Sister-in-law, Maria, had sex with his only son, who's barely an adult. Or the fact that his new stepson, Doug, has been bullied by his stepbrother, Seth, who's also made him watch as he screwed Monica and Maria for who knows how long. Or that the kids of his son, Monica, and Maria are gonna be both siblings and cousins at the same time?

Doug hated what Seth did when he turned his Aunt and Mom into his sluts which is odd considering he had incestuous thoughts about his own mom and aunt, even jerked off to when Seth was having sex with Maria and Monica.

Quite hypothetical of you to say. Even though what AmaraSexy wrote about was even worse then your story and other stories about moms becoming sluts for their sons' bullies and leaving their own sons and husbands behind for their boy toys.

So I see that you are a fan of that story series then I take it?

Yeah Monica DOES defend Seth, but after the damage is already done. She didn't know Seth was still bullring her son despite him saying he wouldn't anymore.

Her marriage to Seth's father was because he was a strong make, like I described him in the first chapter. A man who takes no shit from anyone and even his son is afraid of him.

You do realize that in the last two chapters Monica and Maria realized that he was still a douche and tried to amend themselves by doing right by Doug.

Now tell me... how is my story "mom's corruption" similar to this?

It's not. So you trying to act high and mighty isn't doing you any favors Anonymous troll.

Like I say to everyone who reads my stories, if you got something to say, write me an email and send it to me. I'll respond in kind.

To another Anonymous and AmaraSexy comment: Rachel didn't say "oh god!" Or "oh shit!" She said "oh no!"

@Anonymous

Asperger27's "mom's corruption" is nothing like this. Yes there was the one scene the bully pissed on him, but in the end, he got his comeuppance. He was disciplined by his boarding school's principal. While the son went on a vacation with his mom and aunt to their "home country" and fucked both if them. He even stated in his story that the mother changed her ways after she came to realize her actions.

Same as his other story that has the same element but ends with the bully moving in and living with the mom and inpregnating her.

@AmaraSexy doesn't do that with their story. Asperger27 gave details leading up to the mother's actions. AmaraSexy barely touched on it.

Plus their story didn't make sense.

Like Asperger27 said in his comment:

| All of this was her fucked up fantasy about pissing on someone in her family with her lover? Yet it wasn't a fantasy. She actually pissed on her son with his bully.

So you trying to roast him because his one of his stories has a similar setting is just wrong.

Learn to send emails to him and he'll respond in kind.

Fucking dumbass anonymous

This story stands out to me. In a good way. I like Femdom and the way the mother betrays her son, husband and the rest of the family is shocking but also very hot. I understand humiliation, Femdom and BDSM is not for everyone but you are a good writer and you encapsulated all of those things beautifully. Having said that I did like the first part much better than the last part. I like the fact that you did not end this story as a happy ending. I wanted the mother to some how get thru this in a evil kind of way. To me the mother was making this story go and when that stopped it lost some momentum. I really like to see authors who are not afraid to use Femdom/Taboo with humiliation and you did an excellent job. Writing about family members who betray and humiliate with Femdom is a tipping point for some readers who will not accept that kind of cruelty but to me you make it shocking and that is good writing. Five stars⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.

@Anonymous

I read the "Mom's corruption" story and while Seth did get punished by the the boarding school in the first chapter. Where did it say that Doug went on a vacation with Monica and Maria to their home country? Seth went on the trip with Monica to her home country while Doug stayed with his Aunt Maria. If Monica and Maria did regret what happened, they would have stopped having sex with Seth and spent more time with Doug considering Seth changed his attitude once Maria called him out on pretending to care about Monica.

This is one messed up story. I do not mean that in a bad way. It is so complex. My suggestion for the next time - get someone to proofread your work. I understand that English may not be your first language but there were so many grammar mistakes that it took away from the story sometime. You need to be careful with pronouns, it made it hard to understand at times.

There needs to be a continuation with Rachel and Collin facing consequences for what they did to Michael. Like another comment said, the video was filmed in Collin's house so he'll also be in trouble like Rachel.

Despite the need of an editor to handle grammar, this story was very engaging. Brief on details I filled a lot in myself so it worked.

Unlike others, I cannot say this is sexually exciting for me. The damage done was too realistic. While I enjoy women being evil and betraying those that love them, those acts of violation are described in such omniscient a manner that the mother's pleasure is not communicated. Everything that happens with the mom's actions is written with such brief detail that they are emotionally communicative rather than sexually exciting.

Don't feel that this is a criticism that should be felt negatively. I rather like it. This story really communicated the suffering and pain, all of which seemed to be more realistic depictions of what, how, and why. The mother is clearly a little unhinged, as her husband describes her being very withdrawn into what the reader knows to be her fantasy life.

I like that this story shows consequences. I read this wanting to fap, couldn't fap to it and finished reading out of investment. I am going to be haunted for days to come. Good work.

I have an idea for a new story, a young tall muscular stud having sex with two MILFS after their husbands abandon them. One MILF is submissive while the other is dominant.

Could there be an alternative chapter where Rachel pisses on Collin and not her son or any other family member? It would be far better if Rachel lived out her fantasies by peeing in Collin and he drank it all.

Will there be a part 2?

@AmaraSexy

Since Rachel is 5'7, Michael is 5'5 and Kate is 5'10 then how tall is Collin, Richard and the rest of the family?

5'6 and a half

I have received a lot (more then 10, so to me a lot) request to expand or write follow-ups to this. All from a do not reply to this e-mail meassage. So I proclaim, as my english teacher once told me, once a story is out, it no longer belongs to you. So my answer is YES, write the follow-up, just sebd me the link you talented writers

And sorry for the grammarmistakes, i did pay for an on-line editor, that was why I posted again. I guess they are not that good (blame me I didn't think I needed one)

Destiny is a long, long story (you know I post in one shot, always) - I am scared to finish it and post it

It is very different. It has first times, strong bully ellements And strong cruelty elements, but some good element (few) a story-wide good ending but a good "ending" but only after really bad stuff (torture). If people wanted me dead for this "mother" story that emergerded while writing "Destiny".......just wow, I cannot post Destiny. Maybe one can finish it (make it polish it because the story is all there). I Always thought of Bella Thorne as the GF

Oh and Anonymous, thank you so very much for understanding what my story was telling, you are the best and descibed it best :Despite the need of an editor to handle grammar, this story was very engaging. Brief on details I filled a lot in myself so it worked.

Unlike others, I cannot say this is sexually exciting for me. The damage done was too realistic. While I enjoy women being evil and betraying those that love them, those acts of violation are described in such omniscient a manner that the mother's pleasure is not communicated. Everything that happens with the mom's actions is written with such brief detail that they are emotionally communicative rather than sexually exciting.

Don't feel that this is a criticism that should be felt negatively. I rather like it. This story really communicated the suffering and pain, all of which seemed to be more realistic depictions of what, how, and why. The mother is clearly a little unhinged, as her husband describes her being very withdrawn into what the reader knows to be her fantasy life.

I like that this story shows consequences. I read this wanting to fap, couldn't fap to it and finished reading out of investment. I am going to be haunted for days to come. Good work.

100% what I was getting for, I can't write, but I know I can write a story. Just than you

@AmaraSexy

Collin is only 5'6.5? I'd thought he'd be taller, like 6'0 or above 6 feet.

Hey you talented writers, please, please, post the links to each of your respective follow-ups to this story, I and AmaraSexy are sure they're gonna be great! Wish you all luck on your versions of the follow-up

@AmaraSexy

I got a email like that too asking me to write a follow up for your story.

The thing is, would you be okay with that? I know you stated that once your story is published you have no control over it.

But you do.

You can request that people ask your permission in order for them to write a follow up on your story.

I know I ask that of anyone who wants to make a follow up/different take on one of my stories.

Also.... before I forget.

To the @anonymous who said that Monica and Maria continued to be Seth's sex slaves is false. The last chapter was about them realizing the harm they did to Doug. Seth's gets punished by the school board TWICE and is made a pathetic sub for his female principal at his new school. Monica and Maria take Doug on a trip to see their "home country".

Obviously you didn't read the full series.

@AmaraSexy, would you want me to write a follow up on your story?

Because I can if you want me to. Just send me a email through my profile on here.

@Asperger27

I'm one of your fans of your My Mom's Corruption series but what are you talking about?

I've re-read the full story and where did it say that Seth got punished by the school board twice and got made into a pathetic sub for his female principal at the new school? Or the part where Monica and Maria take Doug on a trip to see their home country?

Have you finished Chapter 7 part 2 yet? Is that what's going to happen next with what you mentioned?

@AmaraSexy if Collin is 5'6 and a half.

How tall is Richard?

@Anonymous l

If you WERE one of my fans of that series, then you would know that in chapter 7 part 2 of "My Mom's Corruption" Seth becomes a subservient sex slave to his new school's principal and that Monica and Maria take Doug with them on a trip to visit their "home country". They also make amends to Doug.

@Asperger27

I've searched through your "My Mom's Corruption" series and couldn't find Chapter 7 part 2.

I don't think the other @Anonymous meant any offense to you since on your My Mom's Corruption playlist, Character 7 Part 2 doesn't show.

@Aspergerd27 - Anything, always, I am a follower of your work anyway, and a learner, if my writings inspires you, please, do ALL of us a favor and go ahead. Full blessing (send me the link please, altough I am following you so)

I don't know how tall Collin is, in my mind he was imposing (he is a bully), so over 5'10 ?

When you writers are done with your continuations of this story, please make sure to have Rachel and Collin pay for what they did.

Wish you all luck. And don't forget to put the links here.

On the topic of continuing stories, can any writer please continue this story?

https://www.literotica.com/series/se/13016

So I'm guessing Collin is 5'10.5 right?

What about Rachel's husband Richard and the rest of their family?