All Comments on 'Mother Zasse'

More please

If you have Ch. in your story title, you can't have chapter breaks in your story. If you have Pt. in your story title, you can have chapter breaks in your story.

Is she Evie's lover?

When will Adam and Evie have children?

Since they are married, it's a natural progression of their relationship to have a family, and for Evie to have Adam's children.

A great story, and I hope that there's more to read about their life.

Thanks for sharing.

True stories are usually the most erotic as one can picture in their mind themselves in those situations. Your story fell far short of that because it was a little boring. The fact that the mother and sister also had an incestual relationship could have added more eroticism to the story but what unfolded was straight to the point with no build up.

The fact that your story is real why not try and do a little build up - get the reader longing for what is coming.

Hopefully you will continue this story and make your reader hard and wet reading it

...I think you need to get an editor and learn the rules of punctuation. Specifically, when someone is speaking there is either an underuse or overuse of quotation marks. In the few instances where you got that right, there is incorrect use of a period where you should have commas. It makes the story feel jerky and stumbling. Not bad over all but it needs a lot of work and as said, proper use of punctuation.

...but needs an editor!

Did the mother keep her maiden name and not the husbands as her sister had the same surname