Moving Day

Helen looked at the ghosts in the photo. At least they seemed like ghosts to her. But her memory of that night and all the other nights was vivid in her mind. Helen calmly answered "that photo was taken in Mr. James' basement. I'm the girl without any clothes on. My Daddy is the man on the left. Mr. James is the man in the Hawaiian shirt. The man in the green shirt is Mr. Edwards."

Special Agent Atkins turned to Det. Frazer and then back to Helen and asked," Mrs. Sterns, it's a black and white photo. How do you know Mr. Edwards is in a green shirt?"

Helen looked at Atkins and replied "I remember everything that happened those nights. I remember the musky smell of the basement. The smell of cigarettes, bourbon, Vaseline, and the stench of their bodies. I remember the songs that played on the radio. I remember their voices and everything they said to me."

Helen turned to Sandra and held her hands. She said, "Daddy came to my bed the night after I had my first period. He told me I was a woman now. Daddy said he was going to hurt you because you wouldn't have sex with him like he wanted. He told me I could save you if I had sex the way he wanted. He didn't have sex with me at first. He just wanted me to touch him. Later he liked to film me doing things. It wasn't too bad but then he had other men watch me too. It was really scary."

Sandra asked Helen, "How long did he hurt you like this?"

Helen answered, "Two years. I wanted to stop but he said if I did Tammy would have to take my place. Mom, Tammy couldn't do those things. Do you forgive me? Do you forgive me for not stopping?"

Sandra's world collapsed around her. Her daughter had suffered at the hands of that monster to keep Sandra and her other children safe from him. She remembered the last two years of the monster's life. Helen had paid a horrible price for the peace they lived in.

Special Agent Atkins asked Helen, "Can we take the box of tapes with us?

Helen looked at the man and said, "Yes, but I do want mine back. Most of those tapes are from when I was single and after I married."

At that moment Helen heard a female voice from the edge of the room. A small woman said, "Hello Helen, I'm Dr. Wanda Phelps. Can I talk with you for a minute?" Helen just nodded.

Dr. Phelps sat on the other side of Helen and held one of her hands. She told Helen "I will make sure you get your tapes back. I will also make sure no one else sees the tapes that don't involve your father or the other men. Is that good for you?"

Helen was having a hard time answering their questions. She just wanted her Mother to hold her. She wanted Bruce to protect her. Bruce always protected her.

Special Agent Atkins came down stairs with the chest of tapes. The agents searched the house as the women sat quietly on the sofa. Helen had dropped her head into her mother's lap. She quietly sobbed for Bruce. Sandra wished he was there to help them.

Dr. Phelps watched Helen closely. She was worried about Helen's state of mind. Helen was shutting down and Phelps knew they needed to act quickly to prevent a complete breakdown.

An ambulance was called and Helen was taken to a psychiatric hospital. Sandra stayed behind. She called her other two daughters and told them what was happening. Both women promised to be home by the next day.

Sandra took a deep breath and called Bruce. She knew it was going to be a hard conversation but felt it was critical to Helen's mental health. She knew Helen needed Bruce.

Bruce answered his phone with a "Hello Sandra, how are you tonight?"

Sandra paused for a moment and then said, "Bruce, Helen is in trouble and only you can help her. I know I have no right to ask you but I believe her life might depend on you."

There was a long silence on the phone. Sandra asked, "Bruce are you there?"

Bruce voice answered back, "Yes, I'm here. What do you need me to do?"

Sandra replied, "Thank you Bruce. Please meet me at Popular Springs Hospital as soon as you can. I'll be there in 20 minutes."

Bruce made the 25 minute drive in 15 minutes. He became more concerned when he saw Sandra exit from a police car. He greeted his mother-in-law and Sandra said, "Thank you for coming, I will explain once we are inside." The two walked in to a secure section of the hospital.

Dr. Phelps met Bruce and Sandra outside of Helen's room. Dr. Phelps said, "We have sedated Helen hoping to calm her. We are hoping to prevent a total psychosis from occurring."

Bruce asked "What has happened to Helen? Why is she here?

Sandra looked at Dr. Phelps and asked, "Can you explain it to Bruce?"

Dr. Phelps said, "Yes." She turned to Bruce and said," Helen was severely sexually abused as a child. She has been trying to function normally most of her life and I am amazed she has lasted this long. The abuse has come to light and she is now shutting down and I believe we have a small window of time to help her."

Bruce asked, "Who abused her?

Dr. Phelps replied, "Her father abused her, apparently for two years. It only ended with his death."

Sandra added, "He threatened to hurt me. Then he told Helen he would hurt Tammy if she didn't do what he wanted her to do. He was a monster."

Bruce shook his head. He said, "This is unbelievable. You are telling me that something that happened over 30 years ago is causing all this now?"

Dr. Phelps said, "Yes, Helen has repressed these feelings for so long. She is like a volcano. The pressure has built up to a point it needs to be released."

Bruce asked, "Do you think our divorce could be a cause?"

Dr. Phelps shook her head. "No Bruce, it has undoubtedly caused her additional stress but it is not an underlying cause for this episode. As I said earlier, it is a miracle she had held her life together this long."

Bruce quietly asked, "How can I help?"

Dr. Phelps replied, "Bruce, I think you are the only thing in her life that represents safety to her. Her mother cannot do it because she is part of the abuse story. It seems you and her children are the only safe places for her. She needs to know you are there for her."

Sandra said, "I know it is a lot to ask. Especially with what has happened in the past couple of weeks. But if you ever loved her, please help her now."

Bruce walked into Helen's room. She was awake but didn't seem to be totally aware of what was going on. Her waists were bound to the sides of the bed. Dr. Phelps saw Bruce look at the restraints and whispered in his ear, "They are strictly preventative. We don't think she is suicidal."

Bruce released the restraints and held Helen's hands. He spoke softly and calmly, "Hello, Beautiful, how are you feeling?"

Helen responded to his voice, "Bruce? Are you really here?"

Bruce answered, "Yes, I'm here. Where else would I be?"

Helen replied, "I thought I had chased all of you away. I thought you could never forgive me. I thought you could never love a whore like me. Bruce, I've been a whore for all my life. Daddy knew, the moment I became a woman he knew I was a whore."

Bruce was crying now. He told her, "No Helen, you are not a whore. You did what you did with your father to save your sisters and your Mother. You have carried that hurt inside you for all these years trying to protect the ones you loved. You are the bravest person I have ever met. I love you and will always love you."

Helen asked, "Please help with my babies. They need you. I know they hate..."

Bruce kissed Helen and said, "They don't know the truth. I didn't know the truth. They are hurt by some of things that have happened. But they still love you. I promise they will be here to help as soon as they know you are hurt."

Helen mumbled, "I love you" as she seemed to fall asleep.

Bruce stayed in the room holding her hands. He watched Helen sleep. He had loved her for so long. Then he thought he hated her. Now he knew he truly loved her, but didn't know how he could forget all the things he had learned.

The nurses gently pulled Helen's hands free of Bruce's hold. They reattached the restraints. They whispered to Bruce, "It's for her safety."

Bruce stayed with Helen for the next two days. That first morning he met with his three children into a conference room and told them the complete story of their mother's life. He had never been as proud of his children as when they walked into Helen's room and hugged her. Like Bruce, they didn't understand everything but they stood by their mother when she needed them.

Bruce went by his attorney's office. After a long meeting they decided to change the divorce petition to a one year separation agreement. This left Helen on Bruce's health insurance for the next year.

Bruce also sent up counseling sessions for the kids and himself. Troy was the only exception. He had moved to the DC area and said he would handle his own sessions. Troy did come to visit his mother every weekend.

After several weeks Helen was discharged from the hospital and moved back in with her mother. Bruce and the kids visited her daily. Helen and Bruce talked about starting marriage counseling once Helen felt strong enough.

Their house sold and they split the proceeds 50/50. Helen was happy to have the money since she wasn't working. She hated feeling like a burden to her Mother and wanted to give her some money for staying there.

The Child Pornography Taskforce identified six men who molested Helen as a child. Four of the men had died. But Richard James and Sam Edwards were both arrested for child porn and rape charges. Richard James was released on bail and decided to end his life with a shotgun. Sam Edwards fought the charges but Helen's razor sharp memory of the events was the deciding factor. Edwards' attorney attempted to discredit Helen's testimony but Helen's perfect description of a birth mark on his genitalia sealed his fate.

The search of Richard James and Sam Edwards' homes provided a virtual road map of a child porn network. As the taskforce investigated the vast scope of the network was exposed. Over one hundred men were arrested in the United States and across the world. Each arrest pointed to other possible predators.

Helen's collection of videotapes were returned to her. Dr. Phelps assured Helen that she and a female agent had been the only ones to view the tapes. Helen burned the tapes the day they were returned to her.

The family had been battered but it seemed like the worst was finally behind them. Bruce decided to take everyone out for dinner. The kids and Sandra drove together. Bruce walked to the restaurant from his office. Helen would join them after her session with Dr. Phelps.

Bruce called Helen's cell phone when she didn't show up after an hour. Helen didn't answer. Sandra called Dr. Phelps only to learn Helen didn't have a session scheduled for that night. It was too early to call in a missing person report so the family returned to Sandra's house to wait.

Bruce and Sandra went into Helen's room looking for clues. Bruce found a shoe box hidden in the back of Helen's closet. Inside the box were two thumb drives. The devices were dated for the two previous days. The names Helen, John and Frank were on both drives. Her family never saw Helen again.

Bruce tried to talk to Debbie but she had apparently moved out of state. According to Debbie's boss, Debbie had just came in one day and cleared out her desk.

One month after Helen had disappeared Bruce received a phone call from Helen's attorney. Helen had left him with a Power of Attorney for the divorce. The attorney also told Bruce that Helen had directed him to divide her cash accounts equally between her children and her mother. Helen had over $250,000 in her investment accounts.

Bruce never divorced Helen. He loved her, she loved him. He couldn't think of a reason to get divorced.

Five years later Special Agent Tom Atkins walked into Bruce Sterns' office. Agent Atkins had set up this meeting with Bruce to talk about Helen. Atkins had kept in touch with Helen. He had promised not to disclose her location or what he knew about her lifestyle. Today was going to be a hard day. He shut the office door and pulled up a chair next to Bruce's desk.

Before he started Atkins asked, "Bruce are you sure you want to see this? Bruce nodded his head and Atkins powered up his laptop.

Atkins went to a popular porn website and pulled up a category called MILF's. Atkins turned to Bruce and asked, "Do you know what the term MILF means?" Bruce nodded his head again. Atkins hesitated and opened the website. There were a large number of screen shots advertising short videos of women performing sexual acts. Atkins clicked on one and enlarged the photo. It was an attractive older woman with bleach blonde hair. She was older and her hair was different but the woman was Helen.

She appeared to be popular with more than twenty different videos. Agent Atkins added "She did a lot of these type of videos, but she also did videos about other sexual fetishes. Many of her videos were too graphic for this website." Bruce looked at the website. It appeared to have a video for every kink you could imagine.

Bruce questioned Atkins, "Too graphic for this place?"

Atkins looked at Bruce Sterns and sadly said "Yes, too graphic for even here. Don't ask me because I refuse to show you. She deserves at least that much."

Bruce had never watched any of Helen's tapes. To him each tape was Tommy Jones raping his own daughter. Helen's sexual partner might look different but Bruce knew they were all her Daddy as far as Helen was concerned.

Bruce asked "Do you know where she is now?"

Special Agent Atkins had tears in his eyes as he nodded his head and pulled up a newspaper article from the San Jose Mercury News. The article had the title "Porn Star found dead of apparent alcohol poisoning." The article was dated the day before.

Atkins said, "I have placed a claim for her body. We will make sure the body is returned to Virginia. She was an important material witness. We never could have broken this child porn ring without her. I think she was the last victim of Tommy Jones and his crew."

Helen's burial was important closure for Bruce and his family. Troy had married and had one child. Tina was still single, and had returned to school attempting to get her Masters in Child Psychology. Zack had received an appointment to West Point and after graduating was now stationed in Germany. He had received emergency leave to attend the funeral. Sandra and her daughters' along with their families also attended Helen's funeral.

Bruce held his granddaughter's hand as he told her about her grandmother. The woman the young girl had been named after, the bravest person Bruce had ever met.

A short disclaimer might be in order. I enjoy porn. I wouldn't be on this website if I didn't. I worry my limited skills might turn this story into a rehash of stereotypes but this is where the story led me. Thinking about the subject matter I realize that porn is kind of like eating meat. I love a good steak but don't really want to know what it took to get it to my table.

As always I look forward to your comments.