Moving On

"Seriously?"

"Of course! We both enjoyed it, so why not?"

I was glad she was in such a good mood, but I didn't like where she was going. It didn't seem like she had learned from the experience what I hoped she would. I wanted to give her the confidence to stand on her own and feel free to pursue the relationship she dreamed of. I didn't want to be a temporary crutch.

"I don't think we should do it again, Mina."

"What, why?" she asked. "I know you enjoyed being in a living body again. When you were in me tonight, both of us felt more alive than ever. Don't you see? It helps us both. It's perfect!"

"I did enjoy it, but that wasn't why I agreed to possess you tonight," I said. "I wanted to show you how easy it was to socialize and have fun. I thought experiencing it firsthand would alleviate some of your fears and give you confidence enough to try it on your own."

"So, what? You aren't going to help me anymore?" Mina sat up and fixed me with a hard look. She clearly didn't like where this conversation was heading either.

"I will help you. I just don't think possessing you is the best way to do it."

"And I think it is!" she said raising her voice slightly. "I think I know better than you what I need."

I could sense from her tone that I was walking on thin ice. The sex had indeed been fun, but I was looking at the bigger picture. She needed to find confidence and do it for herself. I wasn't going to be around forever. But she seemed to think there was nothing wrong with doing it together repeatedly.

"You can't just stay in this rut you're in. You have to move on, try new things. I know you are scared, but you can't let other people decide your life for you."

"Oh, like you are one to talk!" she said standing up and pointing a finger at me.

"What?"

"You're only here because you are too scared to move on to the afterlife! If moving on is so easy, why are you still here?"

I was stunned into silence. Never since I met Mina had she been so animated and hostile. She was always soft spoken and sweet. Now she sounded mean. I tried to think of a response, but she continued before I could.

"Almost everyone moves on when they die," she said. "But not you. So don't lecture me about being scared."

I couldn't believe how hurtful she was being. And after I had just done her a huge favor that she begged me for! All I was trying to do was help her! I found my words finally, but they were formed out of anger.

"Well maybe I should just disappear then," I shouted. "Is that what you want?"

"Fine, do it!" she shouted back with tears in her eyes. "You're not going to help me anyways, so just go!"

"Fine!" I turned and floated quickly towards the outside wall. If she didn't want me around, then I didn't want to be there either.

"Wait!" It was the last thing I heard her say before I passed fully through the wall. I didn't care what else she had to say. I needed some time alone.

I floated aimlessly around campus trying to calm down and collect my thoughts. It took a while for me to stop seeing red. When I finally did calm down, I found myself in the small park located at the center of the college campus. It was very late, or early depending on how you looked at it, and no one else was in sight.

I knew exactly why what she said had made me so angry. It was because she was right. I was afraid of moving on. For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to let go. I think I was closest to being ready just before that last night with Sharon. Things were better and I was actually starting to accept that my life was over. But after I saw her... with that guy... nothing felt the same. I guess I just wasn't ready to see her replace me so soon.

In a way, I was just like Mina. We had both grown complacent with our lives. But being a ghost forever is a cold lonely existence. So is being a living person with no friends or loved ones. It was no way to live. And the worst thing was, even if we could find some moments of happiness by staying the same forever, the world around us would keep moving forward and eventually leave us behind for good. There wasn't much I could do about that for myself, but I could still help Mina avoid that fate.

It was almost time for the sun to rise when I decided to return to Mina's room. After clearing my head, I felt horrible for fighting with her. I figured she was sleeping by that time, so I was just hoping to catch her as soon as she woke up to apologize. I was surprised to find that she was awake when I got there. The room was dark, and I could see her figure in her bed. But instead of the sounds of sleep, I heard crying.

"Mina?"

"Brad!?" She sat up in her bed and looked at me. She was a mess. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face was wet with tears. She had at least cleaned off the makeup from the party, but it was obvious she hadn't slept any yet.

"Oh my god, I thought I'd never see you again," she said. "I said those awful things and I was sure you were going to leave for good. I'm so so sorry."

"It's OK Mina," I said. "I'm sorry too. I just needed to think about some things."

"I was so worried that you would move on and the last thing I did was yell at you."

"You're my best friend, Mina. I couldn't leave things like that between us."

"You're my best friend too, Brad."

She gave me a small smile and wiped the tears from her eyes. We spent a few moments sitting together in silence. We were both relieved to have apologized and made up. I think it was a testament to how close we had gotten over the last few weeks that our first fight had affected us so deeply.

"I know you are right about me," she said breaking the silence. "I need to learn to overcome my past and socialize on my own."

"But I was too pushy about it," I told her. "You can do it at your own pace. I'm sure you will have all the boyfriends you can handle soon enough."

"Thanks," she said blushing slightly.

"You were right about me too," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"That I'm afraid to move on."

"Oh, no!" she said. "Forget what I said, I don't know what I was talking about. Anyone would be scared of the afterlife."

"It is scary for sure, but that isn't what keeps me from moving on," I said. "Do you remember what I told you about when I died?"

"You said you were in a car wreck on your way to see your girlfriend, right?"

"Yes. It was my desire to get to her that led me to stay behind when I died. I just couldn't leave things like that. I spent my first months as a ghost by her side. I watched her grieve without being able to comfort her at all. All I wanted to do was see her happy again."

"I couldn't help her," I said. "But time eventually was able to. She started to cry less and started to live her life again. It made me happy to see her getting back to her old self. I felt good knowing that her life wasn't ruined by my accident. I think I was almost ready to move on at that point."

I sighed. "Then I saw her have sex with another man. It really messed me up. It felt like she replaced me. For some reason, I didn't feel good about moving on again after that. I guess it just made me question everything I thought I knew about our relationship."

Mina waited patiently for me to finish talking. I knew she was paying close attention. It was the first time I had opened up about what I saw that night before I met her.

"You always talk about how much you loved her," she said. "But I could feel how sad you got when I asked you about visiting her. I knew something happened."

"I haven't been back since that night I saw them together. It was the night before I met you. That was the reason I was so depressed when you first saw me."

"I see," Mina said softly. "It sounds like you just need some closure with her before you can move on. Do you remember when I said my grandma told me that emotions were a serious matter with ghosts? Well one reason for that is because ghosts usually stay behind because of some emotional turmoil that is eating them up inside. If they never find peace, they will never move on and will wander the earth forever."

"That makes sense," I said. "But I don't think that is possible now."

"Sure it is. Things are different now than they were back then. You have me. I can talk to her for you."

"Thanks, but I don't think she would want to hear from me."

"Why not?"

"Because she has someone else now. I would only be a nuisance."

"Brad, don't be stupid," Mina said.

"What!?"

Mina laughed at my surprise.

"You are always telling me how much you loved each other and how great your relationship was," she said. "Do you really think that she doesn't have some things she wishes she could say to you too?"

"Maybe," I said. "But she looked happy. I don't want to ruin that."

"I can feel how badly you need this, Brad," Mina said. "I've never felt you sadder than when you talk about missing her. I'm sure she misses you a lot too. Did you ever think that what you witnessed was just a one time thing? Maybe she was just lonely and trying to ease her pain. She might need to see you one last time just as much as you do. It might bring you both peace."

I was torn. Mina had a good point, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. But I would never know if I didn't go back to her. And there was a real possibility that I would never feel comfortable moving on into the afterlife without settling things with Sharon. But what if it went badly? What would happen to me if my heart broke even further?

"If you won't do it for yourself," Mina said. "Do it for me. I know this is important. I think this is your best shot at finding peace, and I want to help. If you do it, I promise I will go to a party all on my own next time."

"Really?" I smiled. It was touching that she would go so far for my sake.

"Yes," she said nodding her head. "What do you say?"

I thought about it for a minute silently before finally deciding she was right.

"How can I refuse?" I said. "We can give it a shot."

"Yay!" she squealed.

"We will talk about it more tomorrow. You need to get some sleep now. It is almost morning."

"Ok," she said settling back into her bed. "See you in the morning. I'm glad you came back."

"Me too."

It didn't take long for her to drift off to sleep. I was once again left alone to think, but this time it was all about the possibilities of what was to come. If we were really going to go see Sharon, we would need to do some preparation. I'd need to figure out how to convince her I was really there and that Mina wasn't crazy. I already had some ideas. It was going to require Mina to do a lot of talking with someone she didn't know, but I knew she could handle it. All I needed her to do was relay my messages. Oh! And maybe pick up something from my parents' house too.

*****

We didn't do anything the day following the party. It had been such a long and emotional night that I told Mina to simply rest. She slept well into the afternoon, and we spent the night being lazy and watching TV. The next morning was when we started to plan our visit with Sharon.

The first thing we discussed was how to convince her that I was a ghost and Mina could see me. Mina assured me that there was no way to make a ghost visible to a normal person. The best we could come up with was to use some of my intimate knowledge of her and our relationship to win her over. I certainly did know many of her secrets. I just hoped she would have an open mind and not question it too much.

The second thing we went over was what I actually wanted to say to her. I wanted to be prepared. It wouldn't be good to show up to talk to her after so long and be tongue tied. I may not get a second chance if it went poorly. It didn't take long for me to figure out exactly what I needed to say.

After we had those finer details sorted out, we moved on to deciding when we were going to do it. I selected a Wednesday afternoon as the optimal choice since that was when Sharon's roommate was in class and she was alone in the house. When Wednesday came around, I was a nervous wreck. If ghosts could sweat, I would have been severely dehydrated. Mina had to skip a couple classes in order to be available at the chosen time, but she insisted she didn't mind. We made a quick trip to my parents' house before heading over to Sharon's. When we got to her place, we paused a moment outside her door to collect ourselves. Mina was standing on the porch holding a small package, and I was floating in the air beside her.

"Are you ready?" Mina asked me.

"I think so," I said.

"Don't worry. We are in this together, remember? I know this is the right thing to do."

"Right," I said nodding. "I'm ready."

Mina took a deep breath to steady herself. Then she reached out and knocked on the door. A few seconds passed before we heard the sounds of footsteps approaching. The door swung open and revealed the familiar form of my girlfriend. She looked as beautiful as ever.

"Hello, can I help you?"

"Hi. Umm... uh... are you Sharon?" Mina asked nervously.

"Yes I am."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Mina. I have something I'd like to talk to you about."

"What is it?" Sharon asked. She frowned a bit in confusion.

"It's about your boyfriend, Brad."

Sharon froze. Her eyes got real big and the color drained from her face. Obviously that was about the last things she had expected to hear. I had been worried about what her reaction would be to talking about me. As long as she didn't refuse to talk about me altogether, I think we were alright.

"Do you mind if I come in?" Mina asked after an uncomfortably long silence. Luckily the question shocked Sharon back into action.

"Yes, of course," she said. "Come in and have a seat."

Mina followed Sharon into the living room and the both of them sat down on the couch. I floated next to Mina and looked around the house. It looked the same as the last time I had been there. Maybe a little cleaner.

"So how did you know Brad?" Sharon asked after they were comfortable.

"Well, I didn't actually know him when he was alive," Mina said. "But I have gotten to know him recently."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. What do you mean?"

Mina balled up her fists and let it all out. "I can see ghosts. I met Brad after he died and we became friends. I'm here to help him talk to you."

Silence. Sharon again had a surprised look on her face. It was the moment of truth. I really hoped that she would simply accept what Mina told her without question, but I doubted it would be so easy. It seemed like forever before she finally spoke again.

"Is this a joke?" Sharon asked.

"I'm serious," Mina said. "He is actually here with us now."

Tears began to fill Sharon's eyes. But she didn't look happy. She didn't look sad either. She looked angry.

"You need to leave."

"Please wait! I can prove it to you."

"GET OUT!" Sharon shouted as she stood up. She looked on the verge of hurting poor Mina. This was the bad reaction we were afraid of. She went to the door and opened it, gesturing for Mina to leave. I knew it was now or never.

"Mina, tell her what I told you. Quick!" I said.

"Yeah, Ok," Mina said hurriedly with a nod.

"Sharon, Brad told me all about you," she said. "He said that you don't like coffee, that you prefer tea. On your first date he took you to get pizza and then you went bowling. Oh! And you used to have a pet hamster named Squeakers until he died two years ago."

"LEAVE!" Sharon acted as if she hadn't heard a word that Mina had said. She walked over to Mina threateningly, and I thought she was going to hit her. But instead she grabbed her by the arm and began forcibly leading Mina towards the open door.

"Mina!" I said panicking. I was watching what surely was the darkest timeline. Mina couldn't fight against Sharon. As she was being pulled closer to the exit, she did her best to keep trying to convince Sharon she was telling the truth.

"The first time the two of you had sex was in the back of your car," Mina said in a rush. "You have a small birthmark on the back of your leg just below your right butt cheek. After he died, you spent all night in your room crying and pleading for God to not leave you alone like that. But you weren't alone! Brad was there with you, watching over you the whole time!"

Just as Sharon was about to throw Mina out, she stopped. She turned to her and fixed her with a long hard look. Something she said must have finally hit on something to get her attention.

"Have you been spying on me!?"

"Oh no," I groaned.

"I'm calling the police!" Sharon said. She turned to look for her phone and spotted it resting on the table next to the couch. She started walking towards it, and I knew if she made that call it was all over. My emotions were running high. I needed this to go well, but it was so far a disaster. I loved Sharon so much, and I needed to tell her that. But she was being so frustrating with her disbelief!

I looked at her phone on the table next to me and suddenly remembered what happened the last time I was in that house. Not the sex, but the lamp! I had hit the lamp when my emotions were running high back then. Maybe I could do it again. I focused on the crazy feelings swirling within me and released all of my frustration in a hard swipe at the phone. While Sharon was still a step away from the table, she witnessed her phone suddenly throw itself across the room and into a wall. She let out a startled yelp and stumbled backwards slightly. Mina also looked quite surprised.

"What was that?" Sharon asked. She sounded frightened.

"That was Brad," Mina told her.

Sharon looked at Mina and then at her phone lying on the floor across the room. Her anger seemed to have dissolved after witnessing something she couldn't rationally explain.

"You... You weren't lying?" Her tears began to return in full force.

"No," Mina said softly.

"He's really here?" she asked trembling slightly.

"Yes, he is right here next to us."

That was it for Sharon. She broke down, unable to get out another word. Mina silently went to her side to comfort her. Sharon hugged her and used her as a support to cry on. It was a touching scene seeing my two favorite girls together like that. Mina led them over to the couch to sit down again. There they sat side by side for a while as Sharon got it out of her system. When she finally started to calm down some, I was the one to break the silence.

"I can't believe I was able to do that again," I said. "That was only the second time I've been able to touch something like that."

"Brad says that was only his second time moving something like that," Mina said to Sharon.

"Tell her I'm sorry about her phone. I hope it isn't broken."

"And he is sorry about hurting your phone."

Sharon chuckled lightly at that while wiping her eyes. "I don't care about the stupid phone."

We all laughed about that. Sharon seemed to have accepted it now and she even appeared to be somewhat happy.

"What was the other time?" Mina asked me.

"Oh, I uhh broke her lamp once too."

Mina laughed. "He is sorry about breaking your lamp too."

"The lamp?" Sharon said momentarily confused. "Oh! That's right! The lamp fell off and broke on its own the night that..." Her hand shot up and covered her open mouth in a look of horror.

"What is it?" Mina asked.

"That means he saw me that night. Oh my God." Her tears once again poured from her eyes. Her answer didn't fully satisfy Mina so she turned to me with a raised eyebrow in question.

"The night I broke the lamp," I said quietly. "Was the night I saw her with that other guy."

"Oh," Mina said before turning her attention back to Sharon. "Yes. He saw you with your... uhh... new boyfriend."

Sharon began vehemently shaking her head. "No! He isn't my boyfriend. That was just a one time thing. I was just so... lonely. I thought it might help me feel better, but it didn't. Brad, I'm so sorry you had to see that."