All Comments on 'Moving on Up an... Out Pt. 04 - Final'

I'm still not sure who did what to whom? I know that Georgia is a girl. That's about it. Badly written.

Yeah gotta agree, characters and full plot are a bit swirled for me too... our hero is now alone, sad for him

It was all over the place. No continuity or story development. Sorry 1* is all I can do.

Waited till the end before commenting.

Not all bad, but the dialogue and.. everything just got all sowed up in a bag with a ribbon.

A brown ribbon. The typos and (dis)continuity caused this to be scored low.

Not really up to scratch!

Should have cut off contact with them all except his kids and Aliyah and Dorathy.Cynthia and Jasmine are just common sluts.

Its not a good final. Too confusing. Nothing near the first 2 parts. Maybe to rushed and to onesided to please BTB fans. He hide in a cabin his wife knew nothing? To drink and think about suicid? You did in the other parts a good job but this one is trash! I suggest to rewrite this part because us readers have to follow the story and not left behind confused.

I just don’t understand divorcing, but staying together. She kept lying, could never be trusted. Hell, I don’t keep friends who lie. So a life partner who lies? No way.

On another note, there’s a lot of inconsistency with the som’s name. Justin is a male’s name; Justine is the female form. Gotta get some proofreading help.

Did this story get confusing in the last segment?

I agree with the other reader. This last part needs to be rewritten and needs to link with the first three parts of the story.

Wrong category and a total mess. Very difficult to follow. Apparently the guy ends up alone with a cheating wife living in his house? Girlfriend fucks and marries his son? They all live happily ever after??? So bad.

Very mixed up. A wolf pack as an analogy is fine but the details must match.

I read the whole series. This story is just a waste of time. I was hoping that it would improve along the way. I gave it 2 stars.

I did see some good spots through out the series. There were interesting points about how men and women view the relationships in their lives. I really liked that not everyone in the story was either a dick or angel. It made the series realistic.

I also agree with the emotional ties between multiple persons of both sexes. This includes that of love for more than one person with it all being true and honest emotional and faithful to each. Even though society as a whole does not accept these views. I believe the story as written was just to complex for most readers on a site such as Literotica.com .

I do think your complexity in stories is unique and is worth the exploration in your future stories. While I may not agree with it I am just one reader with my own personal likes and views on what I look for in a story.

I really liked the story and gave it a high score, but the grammar errors and mis-use of words was off-putting. I am not a Grammar Nazi, but good writing requires proper use of the language.

That at first had potential but then it was all over the place...then by the end he didn't even have a code, or rules, it was just a free for all? Who or what was Helen? Why put up with Cynthia's bullshit? All of it so much but not much substance.