All Comments on 'Mrs. J Ch. 02'

From a literary standpoint I really love the character development you've done. Most erotic authors don't pay attention to that aspect of their stories.

I think the eroticism is certainly dampered by the guilt and resentment. It draws me away from identification in that respect, and yet, it's certainly to the credit of the tale as an actual piece of literature.

As a writer, it's an A piece, no doubt. It's unfortunate there has to be a dialectic between plot and sex scenes, in 9 out of 10 circumstances. Anyway, I applaud what you've done.

A very well written story. Good character development of Kathy and to a lesser extent of Jason. The author portrays Kathy as a wife who is torn between her lust for great sex with Jason and her self-loathing as she continues her adulterous relationship with the young man to the ultimate detriment of her marriage.<P>Jason's character underwent a change between Ch. 1 and Ch. 2. Initially he was shown to be a man of character and maturity but by the end of the second chapter he has turned into a manipulator who threatens to reveal his affair with Kathy in order to get her to satisfy his sexual needs. He then seduces Kathy's daughter which leads to the conflict that destroys the family.<P>Igreenwood has done a masterful job of revealing Kathy's emotional conflicts. Her divorce seems just because the author took the time to show that she knew better and that only harm could come from her affair. That she lost her family as well as her husband creates additional sadness in this well told story.

Ch.01 was pretty good, but this Ch.02 is awesome. Logical, and (mostly) well-written. There could be a story in follow-up regarding Mrs.J, if you wanted to show that at least some of life's screw-ups are not beyond being salvaged. Regardless, this story is good work.

-- KK in Texas

Like the other commentaries, there was good character development, BUT, because of that good development, I believe you missed the more logical and most probable ending of the affair. All Kathy had to do at any point, such as Steve's inviting Jason to stay with them, is to remind Jason of his mother and the depth of her friendship with Kathy and whether or not, if alive, his mother would approve of his endangering Kathy's marriage and her family. Though lusting for Kathy, you started Jason in the first chapter as a caring person, remembering Kathy and his mother's friendship. A story of lust doesn't neccesarily mean it is erotic.

... with the Missed Resolution comment. After all, how well did we get to know Jason in part 1? He seemed like a gentleman but remember he was fantasizing about Lauren's mother while Lauren was giving him a blow job.

And he used his dead mother as leverage over Kathy to get her to go to the prom with him. He schemed all along.

That said, it would have been interesting to see Jason's reaction if Kathy had invoked his mother while spurning him.

A sad story and I loved it! Thanks.

Great story and character development, why end it so soon. Please think about continuing, this story has a lot of scope.

He started out as honourable but quickly lost all honour, used Lauren, blackmailed Kathy and betrayed Steve who treated him as family. I did not think his earlier protrayal as a loyal son and later ammoral acts were adequately explained. This was the only fault in an otherwise good story. -- UK CYNIC.

I give you some good marks for showing the consequences of Kathy's actions as far as she was concerned. On the other hand, it appears the little shit Jason got off easy. It is too bad Kathy's despair was not great enough for her to have decided to off the little bastard. That would have made the story much better.

Jason is caught in bed with Lauren and Kathy ends in disgrace?

wrong on so many levels! a horrible way to end the story!

But terribly depressing. Having him blackmail her into sex and then she ends up ruined? That's just a crappy way to end a story.

You've chosen to write not only a very well crafted (and erotic) story, but one that shows the life altering results of choosing a moments pleasure over a lifetimes commitment! All the characters chose to act selfishly, tearing apart not only themselves, but those they claim to love! Bravo for having the guts to tell a story that shows the "true to life" consequences of deceit, selfishness, & obsession - instead of the "happily ever after" style many prefer - in their vain efforts to convince themselves they will never have to face life shattering results for their own selfish choices.

Quite disappointing, unrealistic, unbelievable. He suddenly turns into a schemer with absent empathy, and the story is the equivalent of the equally dishonest "Reefer Madness" of old. Towing a line not based in fact or reality. A morality play where only The woman overpays and he skips blithely away. Not up to the standard you showed in "Word of Mouth".

I felt you broke with Jason's character from Ch 01, so Ch 02 didn't ring true. And, as some others have said, it was a remarkably depressing story. Too bad, it could have gone much better.

Jason was a blackmailing scumbag. a manipulative user and abuser. if anyone should suffer consequences from their actions it was Jason.

This story had sooooo much potential but part two took it to the dark side.

Sorry, but this chapter was just too dark for me.

Looved part 1, sobberd up in part2.

What a little shit Jason, getting caught not entirely your fault.

Adultery, well a beautiful woman is hard to stay away from.

Could of been a sweeter story for my liking.

Good writing, ( like I'm a critic )

I thought part 2 smacked of reality. Someone always pays in an adulterous relationship , she paid the most because she was the responsible adult. An 18 year old might think he is in love, but @ that age your glands do most of your thinking for you. Also he manipulated her into the date in the first place using his dead mom as a tool to get her there , so there is no disconnect between parts 1 and 2. He was always a sociopath, the reef that wrecked the ship of her life. Kudos.

Did not like Jason as a person. Hoped that would change in chapter two. Hope I never meet anyone like him. Patch

On the one hand, I want to feel bad for her... and I know she was blackmailed into their ongoing relationship...

But on the other hand, she wasn't forced onto the START of that relationship... she willingly took those first steps...and when she first realized what she'd done - when she first looked at her ring after their first engagement the night of the prom - well, she didn't struggle too mightily when he started to kiss and stroke her so gently...

I was seriously disappointed in Jason though... he didn't care for his father anymore but loved his mother... and thought that his mother would be PROUD of him blackmailing her best friend into an ongoing relationship...? He "loved" Kathy... so much that he'd force her into a relationship she didn't want...?

It's not love if you willingly engage in actions that you know hurt someone you profess to love without them being bettered by those actions (differentiating from "tough love" which is intended to HELP someone - clearly, giving someone the best sex they ever had while destroying the rest of their life is NOT helping them)...

And I'm surprised that if Kathy SO didn't want it... not once do i remember reading about her breaking down into tears while they or after they had sex...

You should have ended the story with the first chapter.

Jason was a controlling bastard and not very likable.

You ruined a terrific story line with this awful second chapter. I refused to finish reading it.

Despite some typos/misspelled words it is still a well written story. Not a fun, erotic ending allowing the reader to escape reality...

Who the hell did Lauren marry?! NOT Jason?!! That bastard needed to be hung and quartered!! Sheer blackmail - and he professed true love for poor deluded Kathy! Good story if a sad ending.Would have liked to see the S.O.B. Jason royally fucked! 5*****s.

Scheming S.O.B.!!!! 5 stars for your work, regardless of the betrayals through blackmail of Kathy and selfish exploitation of Lauren. Let’s have one more chapter where Lauren & Kathy reconcile and lay a bit of revenge on Jason. A cattle prod, a 12 Volt truck battery (longer life & more cranking amps) along with a few strategically placed electrodes would be a fitting start!

This was an excellent story of downfall and the effects of infidelity. This guy turned into a pure piece of trash, happens alot boredom sets in, you get comfortable and you forget or loose target of what really counts. Wish there was another chapter to resolve her pain, I'm a sucker for happy endings.

I agree with every word of Grimjack. I loved chapter 1 hated this, left me feeling empty. He writes wonderfully well, but I will check the ends before I read anymore.

Great story. Well written.

Fell and cheating caught up with both.

Showed her pain and left reader to imagine how he was punished

Your other stories have been so good. This one is well written but it just didn't work for me. Maybe the next will be better.

Did mother or daughter castrate Jason?

I know this story is old but it was very well written. Many of the comments say that the character of Jason changed, I disagree. I was pretty sure he was a bastard from the start, I know many guys just like him. Smooth talking pricks who only care about themselves and can worm there way into your life. Then the misery begins. Buyer beware, the more charm a person exudes, the bigger the snake they turn out to be. Sociopath behavior.

Second read, it is far worse. How could this author not write a third part for revenge on the monster that he created I gave it one star last time, I am mad readers should be able to give Nik stars, that's all it deserved

terrible ending

got agree w/dirty and Helen...

had to be retribution terribly unsatisfying ending

and silly me...thought Lauren knew and was OK with it

Well I don’t like a rapist, he was that and nothing about him was nice was it quite well put together but I just didn’t like it

Well written and tragic.

I was drawn to it again, I hate it more that the monster got away Scot free, what an evil bastard, also the author for creating him.

I was really enjoying this until you started saying how the parents had to control their 18-year-old children from having sex, which is stupid because they’re adults. But more so I had to stop when the nice boy suddenly became a devious blackmailer to the woman he was supposed to love, then you jump ahead without any explanation to why he’s behaving this way to her, just openly fucking him non-stop. Also no question about the daughter, no mention at all of her relationship with him, even though they living together and no questioning by the mother to why Jason is behaving this way to her , completely lost all sense of reality or logic