All Comments on 'Mrs. M'

Ending was a lazy cop-out.

1*

Whilst well written, it seems extremely unlikely that the husband would accept his wife’s constant infidelity without some kind of reaction, either confronting the pair or seeking retribution in some way.

Sinking into a bottle is hardly the answer, neither is running away.

A totally unsatisfactory ending and needs a chapter where the husband actually grows some backbone and takes some kind of action.

A decent plot, well written and described. It was probably a couple of pages too long due to the repetitive sex scenes. The sex was hot but generally the same every time, and seemed to happen far too often. It was clear what they were doing, we didn't need a full description each time they did the dirty.

The two main characters, Susan, and especially Troy were unpleasant and hateful people. I kept reading hoping for some very unpleasant comeuppance, but unfortunately nothing. The ending was just lazy. It's OK leaving a story on a cliff hanger, or the will he/won't he type of ending. Leaving the reader to use his imagination is sometimes good. But here everything was in place for something more definitive. The gruesome twosome had been exposed, the game was up, it was just a case of what Alan decided to do about it? And the answer was fuck all.

All in all it just faded to a limp and weak conclusion, rather like preparing to savor the last of an excellent bottle of whisky, only to find you've watered it down too much. I am far from a BTB supporter, but I do feel Susan needed to get her just deserts, and maybe Troy learning a lesson by losing a couple of dangling body parts.

Gussy it up all you want, this was laziness personified.

Donkey

He declared he was going to go to the Air Force Academy and become a Jet Pilot.

Troy's 19th birthday was about three weeks after they graduated.

"The best part though, was I got accepted into he Air Force Academy."

I leave for Colorado Springs on August 15.

On August 14, a sad day for both of them, the day before Troy was to leave for Colorado Springs; they lay cuddled in bed.

Three days before Thanksgiving she was sitting at the kitchen table planning for Thanksgiving dinner. Junior would be in tomorrow for a week from college, Robert would bring his girlfriend. Mr. M's parents would visit. The doorbell rang.

When she opened the door there stood a different Troy.

If you are going to write something, at least get your facts straight. From the Air Force Academy page

In-processing

Each June, In-processing Day (I-Day) begins with four-degree (freshman) being dropped off at the Holaday Athletic Center where they begin immediately receiving instruction from upper classmen. They’ll also head up the Core Values Ramp for the first time. Appointees take the Oath of Office and become Basic Cadets. The day also includes haircuts, immunizations, and the issuance of uniforms and dorms.

They are not aloud to leave campus the first year.

Much of the story was good. It was realistic and well-written. It fell apart for me when the husband said he knew about the cheating from the outset. I do not believe that any husband would do that unless there was some long range plan which is not the case here. Then story did not finish but was left hanging in mid-air. So that sucked the life out of what could have been a good story.

I then noted the comment about the Academy and why the story literally could not work, and that was a disappointment because again a writer was out of his depth. What could have been a 5* went down.

If this is the type of assholes that Congresmen recommend for the Airforce…,god save USA!

Heehaw heehaw

It is incomplete

You obviously enjoy writing about sex, but are too young to deal with adult emotions. Unfortunately, this means your story is entirely pointless, except for the wank brigade.

The ending was so clear that you didn't want to write it! She now was a cheap whore for young cocks no turning point from that! The husband knew that and knew they had no future together!

Maurice Barres was an anti-semitic narcissist. Nice quote.

Epilogue: Alan took about two weeks away from her to make his decision. He divorced the cheating skank slut. He knew she would never be faithful and he had no intention of being married to a whore. He had pictures and videos he sent the the service academy. They had very strict policies about this sort of thing and kicked Troy out immediately. He moved back home and Susan was thankful that she at least had her young stud lover. He knocked on her door the next day and she greeted him in sexy lingerie. "Hello lover, I'm all yours!" She moved to his arms but he pushed her away. "Don't touch me whore. You're the reason I got kicked out of school and will never be able to be in the service. What would make you think I'd want to be with a lying betraying bitch like you? You were fun to fuck while you were married, but you're nothing but white trash now, so I just came over to tell you to stay away from me." With that he left slamming the door.. Susan wept and wept but nobody cared. She'd done it to herself and now she was all alone, which was exactly what she deserved. She lost the house and her car since she couldn't pay. She now hangs out at bars hoping a man will pick her up and keep her company for the night. Her kids won't speak to her and she's pretty sure she has some STD's. Dumb bitch!

Mr M was a disgustingly weak and pathetic piece-of-shit. A spineless wuss. Really a true doormat. To actually find out his 40 year old wife was spreading her legs for a 19 year old arsehole and do NOTHING! Is totally unforgivable. Eventually their kids found out also, so we can assume all the kids knew that Troy was fucking Mrs M. Yet Troy and all the kids, still availed themselves of the hospitality (Pool and Meals etc), This goes on for month after month and pussy Mr M still does nothing!

Vomit material. As well as being a cuckold, Mr M now has lost all respect from EVERYONE. Yet still the fuckwit does nothing. His slut wife stopped doing the wifely details like keeping the house clean and ironing his shirts etc. Cucky boy stops cleaning the Pool, as if that will make his slut wife stop her affair. Also He's not having sex with his own wife. But Mr M doesn't do anything practical to stop her. Why not inform all the parents of what is happening? Ban Troy from his home? Perhaps other husbands might want a turn fucking Mrs M, since Mr M doesn't seem to object.

If you don't know what you're writing about do some homework you dingbat.

This story needs: (1.) research--the United States service academies don't matriculate or induct like State U. If this kid wanted to attend the USAF Academy he would start by becoming an excellent student, participating in extracurricular activities, performing community service/volunteer work and cultivate references amongst community leaders. Also, selection for flight training is not guaranteed upon admission; (2.) Editing--this story is full of repetitive scenes and is over-written as are most unedited works;

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There's a decent plot here, but it needs some work to be good. Every writer, even professional and well-known writers, needs editors and/or those who read their work for continuity, understanding, and plot integrity. Even the best writers have their work edited. That's why they are successful.

I'm intrigued by the plot device so common to Loving Wives: husbands who flee. I guess in the world of amateur writers it is easier to write a simple character who runs away versus a complex character who stays and fights his battle. Look at all the good stories from literature and imagine if every character ran away in the face of adversity, danger, or heartbreak. Just dumb.

She really didn’t want to stop. Even if they moved, she couldn’t commit to fidelity.

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Dump tne bitch.

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Plus….the writing was not very good.

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2 **

A commenter below referenced the USAFA intake being in June, which is correct. Also, this writer described a conventional boot camp, which this isn't. Also, the USAFA does not embrace hazing and chickensh*t like the other service academies. I think that is related to the influence of the late Brigadier General Robin Olds when he was Commandant at the USAFA. First, he went through petty hazing at West Point (for the USAAF, which predated the autonomous USAF), and second, when he took over at Colorado Springs, morale was in the tank due to a huge cheating scandal. He created a more relaxed, more collegiate atmosphere without relaxing any standards. Also, in the story, Mr. M declared that he was in the military, so he knows that adultery is a crime under the UCMJ, and as a cadet at the USAFA. Thus, Troy is subject to those laws and the equally unbendable Honor Code, which prohibits violating the UCMJ and requires him to self-disclose. One call from Mr. M, some evidence, and Troy is definitely out of the academy and probably out of the service. I'm not sure why any writer would think making a sexual predator an Air Force Academy cadet. Sheesh.

I think Alan needs to divorce the bitch then him and his two sons need to put a beat down on Troy he's in air force for God sake not the marines.

He needs to ditch the skank and fuck lover boy up so he never can fuck his wife again, maybe a surprise orchiectomy. Then he needs to make sure the slut ends up with as little as possible. If he takes her back, he should love her up in a chastity belt, with lockable butt plug. No more cheating. It was pretty unrealistic to think the husband would know about the slut for a long time and not confront the slag. One odd thing, if the son knew about it, why would he be partying with the asshole breaking up his family.

Typical of this writer. Never finishes what they started.

I liked the story to a point and then IMHO it went off the rails. This line just made zero sénse to me. "She could meet and fall in love with some other man with whom she is more compatible and live happily ever after." I am trying to figure out where that came from in regards to the story you wrote.

story sucked husband was a sad pussy , the wife an kid both need to be shot.

I stopped reading when you said hubby works 85 hours a week, 6 days a week for decades.

I call bullshit. No one does that without burning out! His life is literally wake up. Work. Home. Sleep. Repeat.

Alan is a very weak person. He is not a man, far, very far from it. He does not take action. I wonder how he even has a job, being so lethargic. He can not have a family, have a wife or children. He has no reactions. And when he tried to play tough man, he was not but a whimpering cuck. No matter what the outcome is, he is not a person of interest. Nothing gained from this story. Zero stars.

she needs a beat down. I know, domestic violence is bad but she was so disrespectful just a divorce is nothing. She will get the house, alimony, and sex with troy. Maybe if she is left in a wheelchair and he laughs at her while she pisses herself maybe he will feel better.

Tony isn’t fit to be in the military, let alone an Air Force pilot. They should have contacted the senator who appointed him to the academy about his lack of moral character.

Fucking lazy-ass non-ending by a lazy-ass non-writer. What a piece of crap - too many illogical plot points to count. And where was the husband’s rage? He claimed he was angry but his behavior was that of an android. Why the fuck would any husband allow this bullshit to continue for months on end? He should have destroyed the punk’s career at the Air Force Academy by naming him as a respondent in a divorce - the little piece of shit would be out on his ass for violating the Honor Code. And hubby should make sure his skank-wife knew it was all her fault - the guilt would have driven her crazy. But this is all too much work for such a lazy-ass non-writer.

OK story I guess but if you apply just a bit of realism to it then no way does this ever happen and even if it started then any husband would have left long before this ending, In fact, no son is going to say nothing if he even has a hint that his "friend" is getting involved with his mother.

Just leave thd story there, put your Pen down and promise to never pick it up again....thank you

Oh what did i think of the story?

UTTER RUBBISH. especialy the writing!

GREAT HOT STORY!!! Well done!

Cheap cop out to a very sad ending from an author who just plain got lazy in a good story!

If you don't watch to finish, don't start! I won't be reading any more of your stories if this is your way of ending a story..

My sorrow for Alan is magnified by your unwillingness to craft a real and decent ending. I had hopes in the beginning that Alan would crush the little bastard, but you lost your way. We ended up with shit.

Literotica has a "favorite stories" and a "read later" function, and it allows a reader to "follow" a writer. Why not add a feature to BLOCK or AVOID (like a yellow ! as a reminder) a writer? You see, it's like this: I read this guy's and other's crap and vowed to never read their work again. Ain't personal; I just can't stand his style or stories. There are so many of these types, it's easy to forget and start reading. About half way through, I go, "Man, this writer is awful." I check his profile and usually remember, "Hey, this person wrote that story back in ____, and I hated it."

Well my friend this is your story and I don’t want to be a part of writing the ending , that’s your responsibility not the readers . What was an interesting storyline that bubbled with drama and possibilities turned weak and at the end became a color by numbers , do it yourself , multiple choice fiasco . It’s your imagination that’s been employed here , it built well and it carried well as per your imaginative writing dictated but you let us down at the end . The writer should build a story and carry the story along , which you did . However when carrying the story along it should conclude in a grand finale that ties it all up in a neat package , not strewn haphazardly across the abyss . Good job otherwise , just saying !

What any "normal" man would do is beat the fuck out of troy and make him a eunuch. Then divorce the whore bitch wife and tell everyone exactly what she did. Then marry someone who won't fuck around.

Interesting setup. Eagerly awaiting chapter 2 for the main body of the story and the conclusion

Open conclusion. leave it there.

You are forgetting the third person and what he wants! Alan and Susan can plot their life together (or apart) all they want, but Troy has demonstrated that he can over ride Susan. He can take her away. That is his agenda and they need to take that into account.

Dump the bitch and ruin Troy’s career.

I don’t understand how the sons reacted. If the affair made them leave their home, why didn’t either confront Troy? I get not confronting the parents - it’s their marriage; but a neighborhood ‘friend’ who’s gone out of his way to wreck their family? That warrants a 2-on-1 beat-down. Alan only needs to reach out to the Air Force Academy and report Troy’s violation of UCMJ Article 134. It’s not a ‘just happened’ incident, Troy waged a campaign. To employers, a dishonorable discharge is the same as a criminal conviction.