My Aim Is True

At that moment my other side came to my rescue with a solution. "Yes, Nathan is a decent, honest man, and you can use all that against him. He'd never abandon you if you were bearing his child!"

At once I knew it would work. No matter how desirable Stephanie might be, Nathan would never leave me for her if I were pregnant with his child. It would take time and some luck, but it was the best shot I had. I relaxed back into my pillow. "First thing tomorrow I'm going to throw away my birth control pills," I told myself. The satisfaction of having made a plan allowed me to drift off to sleep.

Plus Fourteen Months and Three Weeks

I sat at my desk and ran my fingers through my hair in distraction. The last few days had been very difficult. Nathan had seemed distant and distracted, and I was pretty sure I knew why. Every bone in my body ached to confront him about his little fling but I steadfastly resisted. The last thing I wanted to do was to drive him into the arms of the little bitch. "Follow the plan," I kept telling myself, "follow the plan."

A critical element in my scheme was to get Nathan to make love to me, and I did manage to coerce him into doing so twice this week. He seemed oddly reticent, but I begged and wheedled and eventually he gave in. I considered trying some of the tricks I'd learned from my time with Jack in order to show him that I was a better lover than Stephanie. But I immediately realized that to deviate significantly from what Nathan was used to would be terribly risky."Keep him comfortable, on familiar ground," I cautioned myself. "It's your fertility, not your sexual proficiency, that will win this battle."

But after less than a week, trying to stay with my scheme was weighing heavily on me. The thought of Nathan rolling in Stephanie's arms was a constant wound that wouldn't heal. Yet I dared not let my anger show for fear of driving him away. Playing the ignorant, loving wife was extremely stressful, yet provoking a confrontation would have been totally counterproductive. I just had to hope that my body would throw off the effects of taking the pill quickly and that I would get pregnant before Stephanie succeeded in luring him into a final break. The tension was eating away at me.

At that moment, the phone on my desk rang. Startled, I answered automatically, "This is Allison. How may I help you?"

To my surprise, Jack's voice came through the line. "You can help me by seeing me again. I miss you like crazy."

A part of me was gratified to have a man like Jack longing for me, but the other part was simply annoyed to have this distraction at such a stressful time.

I lowered my voice to a loud whisper. "Jack, you know we can't do this. It was great while it lasted, but it's over now."

His voice got softer too. "It was great, wasn't it? God, you drove me crazy with lust! And you felt the same way too, you've got to admit."

I shook my head. "Yes, Jack, it was incredibly hot, I won't deny it. But I can't be with you again, even if I wanted to."

His voice was teasing me now. "But you do want it, don't you, just one more time?"

"Jack," I said, a little more loudly than I intended, then resuming my quiet whisper, "I'm off the pill now. I don't dare have sex with you – I want Nathan's baby."

His voice was really husky and teasing now. "No you can't. But there'd be no danger of pregnancy with anal sex. Wouldn't you like to feel me deep in your ass one more time?"

I hesitated. God, the times Jack had fucked me back there had been otherworldly! And that wasn't something that Nathan was likely ever to give me, especially since I'd denied him so vehemently in the past.

But the thought of sex with Nathan also provoked a vision of him having sex with Stephanie. What if he was doing her in the ass? I'll bet she'd love it, his cock filling her pert bottom while I settled for vanilla sex in our marital bed. Anger at his infidelity mixed with envy for the sensations I was being denied, and against my better judgment I heard myself consenting to get together with Jack one more time.

I told him I'd take a long lunch hour on Thursday and meet him at his place for one last time. He sounded like a kid who'd been handed the keys to Toys"R"Us. I tried to be stern with him, but his enthusiasm got the better of me. I began to feel that itch in my pussy as I hung up the phone.

Plus Fifteen Months

"Why am I doing this?" I asked myself for the dozenth time as I pressed the doorbell to Jack's condo. I was tense, but it was the tension of eagerness. Anger at Nathan and Stephanie mingled with exultation at the idea that I could make a man like Jack desire me so badly. And all of that was underlain by a desire that I couldn't deny: to have another orgasm from Jack's cock buried in my ass.

When he opened the door, Jack didn't pause for pleasantries or compliments. He yanked me inside, shoved the door closed behind me and immediately began pulling at my clothes, desperate to get them off of me. His eagerness matched my own, and as I tugged at his belt and ripped at his shirt buttons, I heard myself panting in sheer animal desire.

Our clothes were left in a heap on the living room floor as he picked me up bodily and dashed with me into his bedroom. While he carried me in his arms, his mouth fastened on my left breast and he began to bite on my nipple until I screamed in a confusion of pain and passion. Then he flung me onto the bed and almost dove directly on top of me. His fingers ran over my body, squeezing my breasts and then running down my torso until they stopped to stroke around and deep within my pussy. I could only moan.

Then he suddenly grabbed my shoulders and rolled me over onto my stomach, his weight pressing down on me to hold me in place. I felt his cock probing between my legs, and in a moment of sanity I yelled out desperately, "Not in my pussy!"

I felt him pull back, and I was just about to roll over when I felt the cool moisture of gel smeared on my backside and then pushed into my ass. Then his weight came down on me fully and I felt his cock jabbing at me. His breath was coming in great pants that sounded like a steam engine, and then I felt him thrust so deeply into my ass that it took my breath away.

After that, everything turned into a blur. I felt enormous pressure comingled with ever-building pleasure. I heard his pants turn into bellows until I felt like a brood mare in heat mounted by a stallion. Strangest of all, I heard a woman's voice hoarsely yelling over and over, "Fuck my ass, Jack, fuck my ass!" Then there was the most powerful explosion of pleasure I have ever felt. I screamed and then passed out.

When I regained consciousness, Jack's fingers were stroking my softened nipple. I tuned to face him and rolled my eyes. "Oh, God, I'm going to miss that," I told him fervently. "But it can't happen again. Promise me that you won't ask again, Jack. If you care about me at all, don't tempt me again."

When he had reluctantly promised, I quickly showered and drove to the office. For the rest of the day, I tried to catch up on my work in an afterglow of sexual satisfaction. I also felt as though I'd somehow gotten some payback on Nathan. He could have his fun with Stephanie, but I could have my fun with Jack too. And before Stephanie could make her move, I was going to tie down Nathan with a baby that would keep him away from his lover forever.

I was about half an hour later than normal getting home from work because I needed to get caught up after taking a longer than expected lunch hour. When I pulled into the driveway, I saw that Nathan had beaten me home, but when I went into the house, none of the lights had been turned on.

Puzzled, I went upstairs to see if he was there, but he was nowhere to be found on the second floor. Now as I came back down the stairs to check the rest of the house, I was starting to get concerned. As I rounded the corner to the den, I spotted him sitting in the lounge chair, a single lamp switched on beside him.

"Nathan," I called out, "is everything okay?"

He looked up at me slowly, and said in a low voice, "No, everything is not okay."

I walked over and fell to my knees beside him. "What's happened, Nathan?" I peered at his face and saw tears in his eyes. "Is it your parents, honey? Are your Mom and Dad okay?" I asked, grabbing his hand.

He pulled his hand away, reached over to the table beside him and handed me a sheet of thick paper. "This is what's wrong," he said forlornly.

I took the sheet from him and looked at it with puzzlement, trying to understand what I was seeing. It seemed to be a photograph of a woman standing in front of a door in a hallway. Suddenly the picture snapped into focus and I realized it was a photo of me standing outside the door to Jack's condo!

An icy chill swept over me. No, this couldn't be happening -- it must be a nightmare! How could he have found out? I had to say something, come up with some excuse, but my brain had stopped working.

"Nathan, what is this?' I said stupidly. "I don't understand."

"Perhaps this one will help you," he said, handing me another print. This one showed me coming out of Jack's condo. I could just see his hand touching my wrist.

"Nathan, this is not what you think," I said too loudly.

"And just what is it that I think, Allison?" he asked coldly.

At least I knew better than to answer that one. Instead, I shifted into defense mode. "Nathan, those are pictures of me stopping by Jack Ruskin's condo. You know Jack, he works at my company. He left some papers from work at his condo that were needed in the office, and I agreed to swing by his place and pick them up. That's all that happened, I swear."

He reached over and picked up another print. "And this?" he said so quietly I could hardly hear him. In his hand was a picture of me in front of Jack's door in my trench coat, holding it open to display my sex wear. I gasped. But the picture was taken from an angle, and the sides of the coat concealed exactly what I was showing to Jack. Then I noticed that the big fedora hid my face as well, and hope welled up in me.

"I have no idea who that is, Nathan. Why are you showing me these pictures?" I demanded, trying to gain the advantage.

But he had yet another photo to show me, this one taken from outside Jack's building. It showed me striding into Jack's building wearing a different outfit. When I noticed the date and time superimposed in the lower corner of the shot, my heart sank. It was from my rendezvous today.

I closed my eyes, hoping the photo would be gone when I reopened them. But of course it was not, and I decided my only course was to continue to try to bluff my way through this nightmare.

"Oh, that's right. I had to make a trip over to get something from him today as well. That's all it was."

He dropped the photo in his lap and shook his head in dismay. "Please stop lying to me, Allison," he said in an emotionless voice. Then he produced another photograph, this one taken from the other side of the building. The camera had zoomed in on a top-floor window, and I flinched when I saw the naked woman pressed against the window, a man's torso thrusting against her from behind. Inset into that photo was a blow-up obviously taken with a powerful telephoto lens. There was no denying that the face pressed against the glass was my own.

He looked up at me with eyes I couldn't read and said harshly, "Please don't try to tell me that's not you, or that you're just collecting more business papers."

I collapsed in front of him in absolute terror. I was trapped; he had irrefutable evidence of my affair. I was going to lose him, I was going to lose everything. I began to sob.

"I'm so sorry, Nathan. I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean for it to happen." Panic gripped me. "It was only the one time, Nathan. You've got to believe me. It was just the once."

He shook his head, and now his voice was cold and distant. "After a friend mentioned seeing you at that condo several times, I hired a detective. He was able to set up surveillance inside the building on the floor where Jack's condo is located. I know for a fact that you were with Jack twice in the last two weeks. But the detective found a source who told him this has been going on for months."

Anger shot through me, and without thinking I yelled, "Suzanne must have told you. I can't believe she would betray me that way!"

I saw shock in Nathan's face now. "Suzanne? Suzanne knew and didn't warn me? God, Hank must know too. And I thought they were my friends."

Then his eyes narrowed. "As a matter of fact, it wasn't your girlfriend who blew your cover. But it wouldn't have mattered: once the detective started asking around, he found lots of people who were happy to talk about your affair, including the girls in your office you go drinking with. Oh, wait, I forgot: you didn't really go out with them after all, you just used them as cover while Jack screwed your brains out."

I knelt there on the floor, my mind reeling. At that instant, all I could do was wonder which of the twenty-somethings at work had ratted me out. After a moment I came to my senses. It really didn't matter which one of those little gossips had revealed my secret, what mattered was the fact that Nathan knew all about my adulterous affair.

When the accused is confronted with indisputable proof of her crimes, her only remaining option is to throw herself on the mercy of the court. "Oh, God, Nathan, I am so terribly sorry. I let myself be seduced, and once it happened I couldn't get out because I was afraid he'd reveal what I'd done. Please, Nathan, you've got to forgive me, got to give me another chance. I want to have your babies. I'd be such a good mother, such a grateful wife to you. Please, Nathan, please!"

He looked at me for a long minute, and I dared to hope that he might find it in his heart to forgive me. Then he said casually, "Would it surprise you to learn that while you and Jack have been playing games in his condo, I've been having an affair with Stephanie the whole time?"

Something snapped within me, and I started screaming. "I knew it! I knew that little bitch was after you. Oh, Nathan, how could you? I can never forgive you for doing this to me. I . . ."

"STOP!" Nathan yelled in such a loud voice that I was stunned. "Just listen to yourself, Stephanie. You want me to forgive you for having an affair, but you couldn't forgive me if the situation were reversed."

He shook his head. "For your information, I am not having an affair with Stephanie. More to the point, I have never been unfaithful to you in our marriage. But now I know without a doubt what would have happened if I had."

With that I began to sob again even harder than before. Nathan didn't respond in any way, he just sat silently until my tears subsided. I looked up at him helplessly. "Is there no chance that you could ever forgive me, Nathan? If you could somehow find it in your heart to do so, I swear I'd be the most loving, faithful wife possible. You'd never have to worry about my love. I would do anything to prove it to you, and I'd keep doing anything for you for the rest of my life. I swear, Nathan."

Again he looked at me in silence for what seemed to me like an eternity. Finally he sighed. "I believe you, Allison. I believe you mean every word you say. But I also believed you meant every word you said in your wedding vows. And when you've broken your word the way you have, willfully and repeatedly, I would never be able to believe that you couldn't do it again."

There was nothing I could say to that.

I looked up at him again in despair. "It's just not fair. Today was going to be the last time; I would never have seen him again. If only you hadn't found out."

His face reflected his bitterness. "If that's supposed to make me feel better, Allison, it's not working."

We sat there in silence for a long time. Finally Nathan looked at me again and asked quietly, "There is one thing I'd like to know, Allison. Why did you do it? Was it something I did or failed to do in our marriage? Why?"

I couldn't face him. "No, it wasn't you, it was all me. I wasn't looking to cheat, but the opportunity came and I let it happen. Maybe I was afraid of getting older, maybe I felt like I wasn't as desirable as I used to be." I looked up at him. "But those are just excuses. The truth is I just did it and" -- I began to weep again – "I don't really know why."

He regarded me sadly for a while, then handed me a thick sheaf of papers. I was pretty sure what they were, but he spelled it out. "This is a copy of the petition for divorce that my attorney filed with the court today. You need to get your own attorney and have him review the settlement I've proposed."

I started to leaf through the pages when a phrase caught my eye. "You're suing on the grounds of infidelity," I asked. "Couldn't it just be 'irreconcilable differences?'"

"No," he said firmly. "I am not going to have people think I was the bad guy here. I did everything in my power to be a good faithful husband. If any of our friends are nosy enough to want to know why we're splitting up, I don't want any of them thinking it was because of me."

Now that my fate was sealed, I found myself growing angry that he was being so vindictive. "I can't accept that," I said with more bravery than I felt. "If you file on those grounds, I'll fight you on it. I'll bring Stephanie into the case, maybe countersue. I could drag it out and make things really messy and expensive."

He sighed. "I told my attorney that you weren't like that, Allison, that you wouldn't make a fuss. But he insisted that we have a contingency, just in case, and I guess he was right after all. Maybe you'd like to hear what the detective agency sent over this afternoon." With that he pulled an IPod out of his pocket and flicked it with his thumb. I gasped as I clearly heard my voice chanting, "Fuck my ass, Jack, fuck my ass!" over and over again.

"You can either accept my terms for the divorce or this tape and a lot more like it will get entered as evidence. Do you really want your parents and friends listening to the two of you?"

He looked at me without emotion, got to his feet and started to walk away, but then turned back. "You really ought to let Jack know that the sound-proofing in his building isn't very good."

Plus Sixteen Months

I was pouring myself a cup of coffee in the break room when one of the men in the office brushed by me. "Hey, Allison, how're you doing?" he asked with a sly look on his face.

"I'm fine, Barry," I replied curtly, not wanting to encourage a conversation.

It didn't work. "Hey, I heard you're back on the market now," he went on hastily. "How about you and I grab a few drinks after work, maybe have a little fun?" As he spoke, he reached his arm out and ran his fingers caressingly over my elbow.

I stepped back in shock. "You're a married man, for God's sake, Barry! You've got a wife and kids. What are you thinking?"

He leered at me. "The way I heard it, that wouldn't bother you. Come on, it'd be just some harmless fun. No one would have to know."

I rushed past him and beat a hasty retreat back to my desk. From somewhere across the cubicle farm I thought I heard the sound of girlish giggling, but I didn't dare look around. When I reached my desk, I slumped down in my chair and put my face in my hands. "Oh, God, is this what I have to look forward to: being fair game for every wannabe lecher in the company?"

Plus Seventeen Months

Even though our house had a Sold sign out front, someone had still stuffed a flyer in the mailbox announcing a neighborhood party. I thought that it might be a nice opportunity to go and say goodbye to some of the neighbors before I moved. And to be honest, I was lonely and tired of sitting by myself in front of the TV every night.