All Comments on 'My Belle'

Just trolling away.

Not a bad story

Why does everyone have to be an alt?

I am not an alt. I am just me. New and trying hard.

Trying hard to write garbage.

If your not an Alt , then everyone owes you an apology .

But it's actually a thing that happens in this category quite often. You can go to certain forums on this site where you can actually see these authors admitting to the practice and actually congratulating each other for " poking the ferrets " as they call it.

Fact is , their are a handful of authors who really dispise the readers in the LW category . It's there for all to see.

Another illiterate WHORE posting cuck shit.

Where was the cuckold in this one? I can't find one anywhere.

I am guessing you didn't bother reading it which kind of makes me wonder why you felt the need to comment. And why anonymous? Surely such strength of feeling deserves conviction?

As for illiterate, I admit the editing process was somewhat lax on this one. There are many typos and for this I am sorry.

U redeemed yourself with this one. Now for tht other story...only time will tell.

You have done fine so far. As others have mentioned there are people that like to troll and even authors that like to troll on the various boards.

I also believe that some confusion comes from your previous story line and confusion as to how you will, if you will, resolve it.

You have created an audience and your writing is improving quickly, there are some that will try to rile new authors. Authors that doubt new authors are truly new and are instead alting under a different profile.

The ultimate trick is to write and enjoy your writing. If at the end of the day you can say you wrote something that YOU are proud of then be proud, for you have done more than many others will ever do. In my experience people say that they know what they want, but few really understand why and even fewer understand what they need.

Good tale but too preposterous. A money hungry co-ed in this position would do the extras. Yes, I know this is fiction but it needs a tad of possibility for it to be feasible. Still worth reading.

On your previous stuff (still looking forward to the end of the series though to see how you work it out.). But hey you've written some stories which is more than I have. Keep going and thanks for your efforts.

what a s...... 0*

I took a chance on reading this after I saw Betrayedbyloveve' s review . If it was bad , I knew he would say so.

I read the first 2 and half chapters of the other story you posted , and I didn't care for where it looked like that was going , so I put you into my mental file of authors not to read , but like I said , if BBL thinks it's not bad , that's enough for me.

Pretty good little yarn .

4 *'s

3* but strippers and whores are all sex workers, in some places registered by law

Than to troll and die.

Thanks for this sweet little tale of young love almost derailed.

I enjoyed it, but there was not even a wife, let alone a cheating one. It was a fine Romance, however.

Liked it and a hot stripper is hard to resist but would never believe she wasn't doing stuff. I'm to jealous to handle it or believe that her hands aren't rubbing dicks or when she dances close the guy sneaks a lick of her nipple or grabs her ass. I know a lot of girls do this because the money is great but guys are no good and will always try and that would be way to much to handle for me if I really loved her. If it's just to fuck a hot girl and she's fun to be with than it could be ok for a time but could never get serious because I would always think the worst was going on behind my back. That's just me and how I think. Also to verify he should of sent two or three guys with money to get a private dance to see how far they would get offer her a few hundred for extras and try to feel her up and he would of really found out

Even agreeing with @BigGuy33, in the end there was a wife...But I especially agree with @Animefan2929: The writer redeemed himself/herself with this story...This story is light years above the other one!! It could be perfectly in Romance too...As a strong 3*, I rate it 4*

I have somehow become the Kaiser Soze of Literotica. I am everywhere, but nowhere. Every day I see another person accusing me of writing a story or comment that I didn't write. It is endlessly amusing!

As for this story, I think it was a pretty fair retelling of the "Pretty Woman" template. It became a little implausible at the end, but I've seen worse infractions here. Although your writing style is excellent, your editing needs some work. You have this weird habit of capitalizing the second letter in a word and using semicolons where an apostrophe belongs. I'd recommend reading your story from beginning to end at least three times before submitting it.

Good work, swingerjoe-- err, I mean, Castlemania!

This writer's 180º turn around...From a bad and disgunting story ("What the...?") to a good read, that as @swingerjoe says is a little in the line of "Pretty woman"...4* for that turning...

I like the way CM wrote the characters; we makes usually don't have a clue what is going on and our fearless protagonist fits that exactly. All is well that ends well. A friend of mine married a young lady about like this one, but I have lost track of him and don't know if they are still together. She was one of the sweetest and most genuine people I ever met - the cynicism did not rub off on her.

Clever story. Wish I would have thought of it. Thoroughly enjoyed the read. Thanks

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Lovely, sweet story. Very cute and simple. Please continue writing.

Thank you for your contribution. I enjoyed the way You wrote belle as an innocent stripper. I've known young girls in that industry that truly are that pristinely naive.

Well done, and don't concern yourself with stupid comments. It's a story, and it's your story. You can't please everyone, and having had some experience with strippers, they're not all whores. Some like your character, do work their way through hard times, and yes school, without doing actual "tricks", or sexual extras as you describe them.

Why did Michele stay with him since he didn't trust her. She really wanted this doofus.

Story was good, not great, but get an editor. A good editor could clean up the syntax, misspellings and other grammatical errors. You have a ways to go but keep at it. Practice makes you better.

A very enjoyable romantic story. Thanks

Thank you for the overall positive comments. I agree, my editing was sloppy on this one and I apologize once more.

I will try to point out that THE OTHER FUCKING STORY WAS WRITTEN BEFORE THIS FUCKING STORY WAS WRITTEN AND I FUCKING EXPECTED IT TO FUCKING APPEAR FIRST SO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS, SHIT FOR BRAINS.

Wow, I can see why they do it now. That felt SO good!

As for those who cannot believe that a girl can be a stripper and not a whore, I feel for you. I know a few who will happily dance but will not be touched. Its not that uncommon really. I suppose it does sound unreasonable, strip for cash, why not have sex for cash/ but the two things are so different.

I also suspect young Charlie would not have coped with it all had Michelle not announced she was leaving the bar. Without that touch, I think he would always be suspicious. Who wouldn't?

I think I agree that this is not, perhaps, a loving wife story. I thought of another category but it didn't seem to fit the others. Maybe if there was a "How I Met Your Mother" category? To be fair though, she did BECOME a wife in the very end. Besides, I have seen a fair number of girlfriend tales in this category.

I do not let ranting anonymous people effect me. I do, however, take constructive criticism on board and try to utilize the suggestions.

Again, thank you very much

"I didn't think you were the kind of guy to come to a place like this. I kind of hoped you weren't."

Oh my! What she must think of him.

@castlemania your writing is shit and your wife needs to up her gain in sucking my dick. be a good little cuck and get me my beer while you pay for my bastard ok good little cucky.

but you don't know anything about what you are writing.

you might go to a strip joint every now and then but you have no insight about the business and the people who work there.

and it looks like even less about the influence working there. I know not one of the girls as "good" as they behaved during there time studying and working who has no scars which shows more or less obviously to those who are sharing there lives,

there might be the big exception or those who are unaware, I just don't belief it

"Up her gain"?

She has an amplifier?

And just because you have experienced something does not mean it is the universal experience.

Good story. 3+ stars. In the realm of stripper possibility---- even if not all that likely. To say 1 in 1,000 would be generous, unless they are new to the game and about to quit.

Strippers are about the $ and finding the greenest grass available today. So if not tomorrow, then not too many tomorrows away they will move on to greener pastures. In doing so, will keep you on the hook for as much as they can, for long as they comfortably can, while they work the greener grass in someone else's yard. They are unstable, unreliable, and if in that strip club world for any significant length of time will very likely become druggies and/or alcoholics. If nothing else, the company they keep, their co-workers and their management will drag them down eventually.

So, if you got a stripper you think has "real" long term prospects you are either: a) not paying attention and should run like hell or b) are cool with "your women" selling sex. If you are cool with it because you believe there are limitations (like the guy in our story), you are foolish to believe those limits are where she or any one else tells you they are. All it takes is the right price on the right day to blow past those limits.

Selling sex is selling sex any way you slice it, it is prostitution. So, If you want a whore Michelle is your girl.

The many typos were a distraction.One would expect some proof-reading and spell-checking before posting.

This is actually a pretty good story. Fairly realistic and enjoyable. So why does the author's other series "what the..." suck so bad? Keep up more of this stuff.

I surprisingly enjoyed reading this after attempting to read your other series (sorry, just couldn't get through it). I really enjoyed the thoughts from Charlie's point of view, almost made me laugh at a few of them. The typos are there but were easy to get through. Keep writing, I look forward to more.

Another well written story. Again, could be posted in Humor and Satire. Unfortunately you would lose out on all the thoughtful, sharply worded, sophisticated comments.

Good job Castlemania👍.

I look forward to the next story. Thanks.

AMerryman

Thanks for writing!

Very nice story. Why is it that all the men are portrayed as "shocked, absolutely shocked!" at a girl who uses her body to pay the bills? Unless they are without any morals or class (and chew gum while screwing), they are (a) at least physically appealing, (b) Know how to dance and be sexy, and (c) aren't prudes. If you are possessive then sure, don't date them. But as this fellow says, he's only 23. Bringing a girl home to mother pure as the driven snow is pretty dated.

I'm forever hitting the semi-colon instead of apostrophe, they keys are write next to each other!

I usually catch it at the time, but shit happens!

"new faculty we had equipped" - "facility"

"was stood at the bar" - "standing"

"If you ever say" - "saw"

"I do not do anything I do not want to do and there is a lot I dont want to do." - "don't"; but what she DOES want to do is too much! Semi-nude waitressing? OK; Stripping? M-a-y-b-e ok. PRIVATE nude dances,possibly including lap dances? Sorry, see ya!

She's a stripper, and gets all moral with a guy that she supposedly cares for?

"Myu plan was hatched" - "My"

"I had founf" - "found"

"I only do what I want to do." - Again, yes, but just what DO you want to do?

"I would never lie to you about that." - She lied by omission, by not telling him EXACTLY what she did, instead of the BS "I do only what I want to do!" How the fuck doe HE know that what you want to do doesn't include fucking?

He didn't cheat on her, nothing was said about them being exclusive, and in any case, his LEGITIMATE suspicions justified it! And what about her having him kidnapped?

You seriously need an editor, I got tired of pointing them out.

Making him the bad guy when he was completely justified in his opinions cost you a star. As soon as she knew he knew where she worked, she should have stopped ALL the dancing, private or otherwise, and stayed with the waitressing.

and the 10 dudes she's got on the side.

Nope. Not buying.

Now I've read all your stuff so far. In this story I got the best, the worst, and the most curious of worlds.

The best:

Beautiful story, tightly woven, creative, honestly written, neatly done, interesting characters. Though the thing could have flowed oh so smoothly, you're light years ahead of "What the" with this one. Hands down a great little story, none better, and that's no shit. No that's no fucking shit. Ah that felt good, tiresome but good.

The worst:

You need to proofread what you do. Here, here. I started reading, stopped, pulled it off, and ran it through spell check while I read, and out came a masterpiece and I only changed two sentences around.

Get it? You need to proofread what you do before you put it up. Me, now I'm stupid, but I'll run through a story three or four times before I put it out.

The curious:

A story like this on Literotica will cross the globe. Who do people think they are? I'll bet there isn't a strip joint on the planet where the proprietor first, doesn't have to pay off the authorities to keep the little illegalities from interfering with business. Second, these types of joints are a commonplace near colleges and universities, girls come and go, and a lot of them are decent 'working girls' but not 'filthy whores'. Third, Michelle scoped out Charlie (It was Charlie) and knew he was that 'Golden Fleece' good girls want; that socio-economic pot of gold she could marry and live the 'happily-ever-after' with. She found her man and she got him. Remember she didn't find him at the joint.

Now Castlemania!

Take your FIVE, keep writing, and stop responding to the bottom feeders.

Jedd Clampett

Nice story can't wait for the sequel.

It's a very good story and I can't wait for the sequel

Whole bunch of typos, capitalizing extra letters, missing apostrophes and a weird use of semicolon instead of apostrophe, the second page is especially bad.

He was awful quick to believe a pimp and his whore, he should at least have wondered if they had an agenda, especially after the scare tactics.

Of course they would lie, she was just about to land a golden goose, that whole bit felt like a set-up.

There are typos, but the story is still a very good story. Sure he could have been less gullible and check if they were telling him the truth. But in the end, what does it matter if she's really a stripper? He either finds out and let's her go or not, and in the end why can't a stripper really fall in-love?

Yeah, the dyslexia was Quite distracting. But the story itself just wasn't worth it. The guy before me summed it up: risk kidnapping charges for a stripper? Who writes that, O. J. Simpson? His goofy ass didn't rate the commitment she showed him.

Now I want to read a story written by O. J. Simpson!

If you want to read how we got started, tangaloungedreaming is my name on this site. Anyway, enjoyed your story. Internal conflict is necessary for a story to be worth reading imo.

In the process of every wise courtship that leads to love and then the lifelong commitment of marriage, there are moral/cultural tests which must be passed in the eyes of each person.

One of those tests is the strength-of-character test.

If our hero in this story is shocked by Michelle's job/actions/associations etc. in this strip bar, then his questions regarding Michelle's strength of character have already been answered.

He doesn't have to wonder what Michelle will do when the chips are down later on in their marriage if money ever gets tight; she'll go back to stripping.

Her rationalization about why she worked at a place she admitted was immoral by the fact she had to justify herself to our hero, tells you that she is an amoral pragmatist.

Amoral pragmatists make questionable girlfriends, terrible wives, and are categorically disqualified as mothers who raise children with character. How do you explain to a child that it's OK for mommy to go naked in front of other men, but not for them to parade around in such fashion when they want to?

Because there is no answer to that which is not patently hypocritical, there is no solid foundation for the raising of good, character-strong children.

A stripper is not a good candidate to marry. Period.

The hooker with a heart of gold. I have known a stripper or two in my youth. No, I didn’t date any, but I was a bouncer at one time. Some did “extras”, some didn’t. But the attitude, holy shit! If they were new at it, they were cute and bubbly, but before long they mostly saw guys as bank accounts and didn’t even try to date them. The few who did wouldn’t want the ones that came into the club. Surprisingly, most turned bi if they stayed stripping for long. The good ones at stripping got major attitudes and turned real bitchy. Anyway... nice fantasy here.

I couldn't date a stripper and I couldn't trust nothing went on in the rooms. What guy will pay all that extra money to get the same that they could by just sitting at the bar? Lou would have to show me years and hours of video to prove nothing ever happened and she would have to quit the job on the spot.

with typographical errors.

I had to stop reading many times to try and figure out what the word was meant to be.

It's a nice fantasy and I think Michelle was being truthful with him about what she would or wouldn't do in private rooms.

In real life, strippers are usually damaged goods. They become ruthless at exploiting guilible men and the job tends to harden them, making them bitter and cynical. I'd never date a girl working as a stripper and I'd be very wary of a woman that had done it in the past.

Gay as fuck.

Hell no! Never get involved with a sex worker.

Well done, not all strippers are whores. It's a stereotype, truth is a lot of them do it to get through college.

I knew a "Dancer" when I was in Uni. She had a day job that paid extremely well, and worked Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights at a club. I met her while she was out for a drink after work at another bar, and she actually picked me up. She was an absolutely amazing woman, but I could never get the idea out of my head that she was doing more than dancing, especially after her taking me home with her the night I met her. We had a fun time for a few weeks but I couldn't shake the feeling. It wasn't until we talked after I ended things that I learned that she high paying legit job. Her entire part-time career as a "dancer" was paying off the mortgage on her house. It was her goal to own her house outright and have a "nest egg/dowry" so she could get married and be a stay at home mother without the worry of financial issues causing marital problems. Honestly, I consider my distrust of her one the greatest "learning lessons" of my life, because while we remained friendly, she never gave me a chance to make it up to her. As for her spur of the moment "taking me home", it came down to a unique explanation. When she and her co-workers came into the bar, every guy in the bar paid attention to them and treated them like "strippers". I had ignored her and her co-workers, even when they had flirted with me. She knew I had been drinking, and while I was polite and courteous, I just seemed more engrossed in my own amusement than them. That was actually the "character trait" that attracted her. There was an attractive guy who should be trying to get laid, but just didn't seem to care about getting laid, and it wasn't until she stopped flirting and talked about an interesting subject that I actually paid attention to her.

Nicely done. Some grammatical errors as others said, but a predictable twist on a formulaic story.

The only real problem is that (other than needing an editor) is that the story was set up to make even the readers think Michelle was hooking. You want him to fall for a stripper, even one that works at a seedy place that sells sex? Fine. Don't deliberately set up the story to make it seem like the girl is hooking through innuendo, out of context words (like the denied oral sex scene), or other means. The ending was very ham-fisted. "All my girls are whores, but not Chelle! She's special. She does my taxes!"

...Really?

4*

Mistake!

A whole lot less typos would have improved this story a lot.

Michelle is pretty much an idiot. She starts their relationship off by vaguely stating she works in a bar and when Charley catches her she admits she hoped he would never come into the strip club so he would never know.

After Charley knows, she knows he has a hard time accepting what she's doing but, she doesn't see the need to tell him what extras she doing to earn extra $ and it does dawn in her what he might think when she won't let him go down on her?

It's nice that the author wrote a happy ending but, with these set of circumstances I can only see a happy ending occurring in a fictional story.

Hmmm, if they think so highly of her. Would they lie for her? Extra's aren't usually taxes, especially for someone I'm assuming is untrained in business taxes. And I agree with Mike below as well.