by cookies_and_sex
lol this is funny! althought im confused as to what gabriel is sorry for??
This story just came on my radar screen. I see the author received numerous complaints about the editing. That's understandable, but allow me to add that the raw talent on display here is such that a good editor really could work wonders with this story. I hope the complaints were not the reason for the long absence. You have great potential, author.
It's a great start, but I agree,spell check will go a long way
Great story line, good characters... now PLEASE just use spell check and clean up the grammar a bit. Good editing makes a story so much easier to read. As is, the poor editing distracts the reader from the great story you have going on!
What a great and intriguing start...great balance of erotic charm and romance. Pleas hurry and continue!!!
This is starting very well! I'm really enjoying it, please hurry with more!
the story is good!interesting.although its a quarter of the story,it keeps you wanting more(which is good)...so continue it and reach the climax of the story(50%),then bring it home!its a very good story.can't wait to read more of it!!
Just clean it up some more. Re-reading is key. Let someone else read it too. As someone once told me, editing goes a long way.
Good characters, kept me intrigued, even without any sex. Looking forward to more.
i love this story it's sweet and not all sex sex like the others, please finish i can't wait for the next chapter.