My First Box

We have danced this dance for years. Our friendship deeper than the infatuation.

You called me lover before you ever touched me. Made me feel more beautiful than any man ever did. You pursued me and it pushed my center. I want you, but could I be so bold? Speak my truth? It was never the right place, right time.

My phone rings, "Hello?"

"The boys are out of town, let's go out." My heart of pounding. Could this be the night?

"Sounds fun," I finally say.

"Great, be there in ten!" Click.

Realizing what could happen, I being to spiral in my own head and insecurities. I think I'm gonna throw up...

Take a hit.

Fix your face, fix your tits.

Take a hit.

Brush your hair, brush off your shirt.

Take a breath.

Take a hit.

I take the few moments I have before you arrive to set the scene. I light every candle I own to avoid having to put on an actual light. I turn on the stereo, low, soft music playing. You're here. Shit, what am I doing? Will this ruin our friendship? But we've both wanted to, haven't we? What am I doing?? I'm being bold...aren't I?

Just don't throw up, I keep telling myself, swallowing the nerves and bile that threaten to make an appearance.

I open the door, "hey." You step in and look around, "why do I get the feeling you don't want to go out anymore?"

"Um, not really," I stammer.

You look around my small apartment again, setting down your purse and slipping off your shoes. "Oh honey, look what you've done. Is this all for me?" You turn and smile at me, my stomach flip-flops. You cross and kiss me. Not our first, but it may as well have been. I flush. You push me gently, "Sit down and don't look away."

I gladly sit in the recliner, as I feel my legs were going to give out from under me at a moment's notice. I think I smoked too much weed in an attempt to calm my nerves. I take a deep breath and clear my head. Is this happening? What is happening?

She turns up the music slightly and begins to dance for me. "If we aren't going to go to the club, I'll do my best to bring the club to you." My mind flashes back to my bachelorette party in Vegas, that lap dance we got from the marshmallow-scented stripper. Our fingers playing in each others hands while Destiny's powder-soft tits rubbed on our cheeks.

You dance out of your shirt your skin almost glowing in the candle-cast shadows. Violet lace, perfectly cupping your breasts. Your nipples visibly erect through the fabric. Your hands are on my knees and you writhe and rub your body against me. Your legs straddling my lap. I smell you, inhale you, long to consume you.

You take my hands and place them on your thighs, tugging your skirt hem up, inviting me to touch you. Oh my god...don't throw up.

My hands wander. My mind swirls. Your bra is off and my mouth is full. I take in your tongue, nipples, fingers. My hands wrapping around you, kissing your neck, nibbling your collarbone. We find ourselves on the floor, touching, caressing, kissing. How are you so soft and warm, are all women like this? "Your smell so good. I have wanted this for so, fucking long." To touch and be touched - uninterrupted, wholly.

"Me too, baby," my pulse quickens, my skin moistens, my throat feels dry.

You stop and pull away. Oh shit - did I fuck up? Why is she stopping?

"I need all of you. In a bed," you finally say. Oh, thank god. Oh? Oh shit...this is happening.

I lead you to my bedroom, removing the rest of our clothes in slow motion. Kisses placed on each point of newly-revealed skin. Kneeling on my bed. Facing, looking, seeing, touching. Reading our bodies with our fingers as if written in braille. You find my pussy, now engorged with blood and anticipation. Your fingers dance between my lips, wetting my slit. Your mouth on mine. I am filled above, as below. Fuck.

I have wanted this woman from afar and near for so long. She is now an unwrapped gift in my bed to enjoy. My mind is blank, my breathing heavy.

I break our kiss, "can I try something?" You smile, mouth crooked, eyes deep and endless pools of possibility, "please." I lie you down, tracing your face with my fingers. Feeling more confident, I let my fingers travel down you body. Your nipples harden at my touch; a sharp intake of air confirms my suspicion. I note this for later and continue my journey down your body. My palms are sweating a little as I get closer to your cunt. I gently spread your legs and take in the sight. It's so pretty.

I smell your desire - you smell yummy. Not the bullshit, 'you smell sweet.' You smell of umami mixed with herbs, the only sweet is the residual vanilla from your body lotion. It's intoxicating. As I move closer to your mound, kissing up your inner thighs, my heartbeat increases. Do I know what I'm doing? Do what you like I think to myself, touch her how you like to be touched. Is that a tattoo on her pubis? Fuck, I love this woman.

Primal desire takes over, my tongue exploring and licking. My mouth fucking this goddess-woman. I flick and suck your clit. My fingers joining, your moans guiding me. My free hand, moves up your body - you catch it in your own. Our palms press together, fingers intertwined. I continue my devotional. Your hips rise to meet my mouth, your hand squeezing mine talking to me through touch. Your moans deepen, breath quickens, I keep what I'm doing licking, sucking fucking. Concentrating to keep a rhythm and constant pressure - do what you like, listen to her body, do what she likes. I feel your body building, I feel you cum. Your pussy tightens around my fingers, there is an increase in your wetness, your scent changes. You came? Holy shit, I just made a woman cum.

"I knew you were a natural," you say as you pull me up and kiss me. Licking your juices from my lips. "Now let me show you a few things," you whisper in my ear.

Our love making continues for hours and I am transported. High on a wave of euphoria and longing like I have never experienced. As we lie, drained of all energy, wrapped together, entwined in a way that it's hard to tell which body parts belong to whom. You nestled in crooks of my body as I kiss you and trace my fingers along your arms and breasts. Your eyes, half-closed, a smile across your lips that I pray never leaves in my presence. "How did I get so lucky," I finally ask.

"It's mutual, believe me. I have loved you for so long. This is just the next chapter." We drift off to sleep and I think, I'm not going to make that long-run in the morning. And I don't care, because some boxes are worth the wait to unwrap and enjoy...and sleep-in for.